I'm Obsessed With Spider-Man But Like. Only By Proxy. Like I See All The Headcanons, I Get Clips Of The

For years I lurked on Instagram and Pinterest just peeking in at the popular shitposts you all have made and then eventually a friend of mine suggested I make a Tumblr and eventually I caved

It's like trying to go into a pool slowly and then getting out to grab something (or take your glasses off if no one can get them for you) and then your sibling hoists you over their shoulder and plonks you onto the diving board. They allow you a moment to sit ( no sibling would pass up the chance to throw you in a pool let's be real) on the edge of the diving board. Your fall in is inevitable. Your legs dangle, almost touching the water. Your goggles are lowered. You don't even remember moving. Suddenly the cold surrounds you, engulfs your mind, leaving you to search wildly for anywhere but down. You can feel the concrete below your body. Did you really drop that far in? A push, and you shoot back up. The water wasn't as cold as you expected. Your parents swore up and down it was freezing. You see your sibling occasionally, diving under the water, doing something. Who cares? You're swimming now. The water is fine. This wasn't so bad.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

Or however you spell that (I have just tried my fucking hardest to spell something)

You.

I have been waiting for you.

My fellow hellsite Gatsby enthusiasts, I present to you my first semester English final;

The Great Gatsby is one of the greatest examples of an unreliable narrator, and in consequence, has possibly the best grounds for a viable queer theory thanks to the deceptive Nick Carraway and his internalized fondness for Jay Gatsby. Nick is terribly dishonest to both the reader and himself at most turns. He paints himself in the best light he can, shields the reader's view from what he assumes is undesirable, but he’s admittedly horrible at it, slipping up frequently enough for it to be glaring. Nick and Gatsby’s bond is formed entirely on Gatsby’s lies and later honesty, and cannot go beyond that both due to Gatsby’s death and Nick’s own restraint on his emotions and passions. Nick comments on how he is “... slow-thinking and full of interior rules that act as brakes on my desires…” (Fitzgerald 64), and that kind of restraint is found often in queer people, and would be especially applicable in the American 1920s. His biased adoration and blind devotion to Gatsby is even mentioned at the very beginning, “Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction” (Fitzgerald 2). Nick lying to the reader can also be him lying to himself, trying to convince himself that his affection for Gatsby was sheerly platonic, and the constant refute― and accidental disproving― that Gatsby is the only exception to his “strict moral code” comes across as violently self-preserving. This preservation is highly suspect in most scenarios, however if Nick is to be interpreted as queer, this becomes not just understandable, but entirely necessary.

Nick Carraway's utter fascination― leaning heavily into infatuation― with Gatsby forms despite being aware of Gatsby’s lies. He meets Gatsby after being fed various outlandish rumors by various party guests, going on to describe his smile as “...one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced―  or seemed to face―  the whole external world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey” (Fitzgerald 48). Though Gatsby trusts Nick, even going as far as to entrust him with the story of James Gatz, he is chasing after the metaphorical ghost of Daisy Buchanan, going after her and away from Nick, who understands him, trusts him, and does not think less of him. Nick is aware of the immorality of everything that creates Gatsby, from the bootlegging, to reckless driving, to the affair with a married woman, and trying to convince said married woman to run away from her husband and child with him. Nick is the only person in Gatsby's life aware of all of this, an active participant despite his insistence that he is unbiased. He claims desperately that he disapproves of Gatsby, but even is his attempts to hide his adoring bias, he describes Gatsby as having “something gorgeous about him” and “a romantic readiness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again” (Fitzgerald 4). Despite Gatsby’s admittedly horrible moral code, Nick says that “Gatsby turned out all right at the end…” (Fitzgerald 4), and even goes so far as to have his sole compliment to him be “They’re a rotten crowd… You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together” (Fitzgerald 154). Nick doesn’t disapprove of Gatsby, he puts the man on a pedestal far above anyone else. 

I'd like to mention that we were in fact not supposed to have written this out beforehand, but I'm too enthusiastic for my own good

Wrote a two paragraph essay for a final about how Nick from The Great Gatsby is super gay for Gatsby and got a perfect score is this how it feels to be god

“can mutuals dm you?” my mutuals can fire me from a cannon through a brick wall, looney tunes style. as long as we’re all having fun

When you forget you have Tumblr for an entire month anyways I'm gonna make my button up shirt transgender

No but seriously mens and womens button shirts have buttons on opposite sides; left over right for mens and vice versa for womens. It's apparently disputed by historians as to why but I think it's because men were expected to dress themselves and everyone was expected to be right handed and women would get help buttoning their shirts but what do I know

Anyways I have two pairs of the same button up shirts and I'm going to switch the sides that the buttons are on

Top surgery, if you will

Allow me, a person on the internet, to suggest something for your local discord server you have all your buddies in

A no-context quotes channel

It's literally the funniest shit ever allow me to provide many examples for your entertainment

"Stay here you genderous fuck"

"Power-walk like a suburban mom, dress like a suburban dad!"

"You can have my boy sleeping privileges"

"No, it's okay, I made you a five year old, you made me a woman."

"Anyways, here's your boy tunes."

"Are you implying I dress like a capitalist"

"When is it my turn to be a himbo?"

"WILL YOU JUST HAVE SEX? WE NEED WATER!"

"I'm gonna bleach the fuck out of these below-skin jeans."

"I don't think we've laughed this hard since the bed-rocking days."

"Are they, by chance... gifted in the gender department?"

Thank you for your indulgence in my friend groups special brand of humor

Dude I'd kill for a Beatles show à la The Monkees that's about The Beatles being submariners. You can get a little of that watching Yellow Submarine (the movie, not the song) but I think a little show would be funny

“Appeal to a wider audience” is corporate lingo for “strip more themes from a piece of media so it’s safer and more sanitized for investors”

Not fair that saying "yeah no I get that" sounds so flippant and dismissive. I don't have anything to add but I want my friends to know I'm getting what they're saying. Like you're bearing your soul man. And I see it. I promise I do. I'm picking up what you're putting down so much that I'm practically taking it from your hands. I promise.