I Hate That Overwhelming Wave Of Dread That Washes Over Me As Soon As The Distraction Ends And Reality

When queried, coworker who wants to play in my campaign said he hasn’t made his Commissar yet because his reason was that he’s a slut.

Him: I know, I haven’t read anything yet because I’m a slut.

Me: … Can you make your Commissar slutty?

Him: ASSLESS CHAPS?!

Me: ASSLESS CHAPS!!!!

And then we both started standing like this because there are always convenient gusts of wind, and he always has to have his butt out.

Him: ARE YOU GOING TO DRAW THIS? *while posing*

Me: HOW CAN I NOT??? *posing too*

Him: If you draw it I’ll do it.

Me: Don’t challenge me.

The Art of Thief || Garrett's Hands

Russia by Igor Shpilenok 

RIHANNA for Paper Magazine photographed by Sebastian Faena

Louisiana-based photographer Frank Relle captures the nighttime magic of New Orleans in his ongoing series New Orleans Nightscapes. He uses long exposures to capture the feeling of the powerful, haunting beauty throughout his hometown.

Honestly in all of these stories these poetic white men who somehow end up immortal get so bored and miserable because they just sit in their mansion all day doing whatever it is they need to do in order to sustain their immortality and then they just throw lavish parties and organize orgies or whatever and then they’re like “why am I sad I eat three course meals and have at least one orgy daily what MORE could I POSSIBLY need??”

Like???? Damn go for a walk. Do you even KNOW your neighbors? Get a dog and take it to the park. Set up an elaborate fish tank. Go skiing like you’ve been alive for 200 years and you’ve spent 180 of it in your house looking at paintings and drinking wine with other rich assholes no wonder ur life sucks my man.

Buy a canoe.

how the fuck do people just stay motivated their entire lives? what drives you? I got out of bed once and i’ve been exhausted ever since.

#poisonivy urban jungle