What NOT To Do

Best game idea ever!

re-skinning Monopoly to be about ancient Rome

instead of going to jail, you get exiled to Scythia

passing Go represents the bribes you collect every election season

instead of owning property on city blocks, you own land in various provinces

Boardwalk and Park Place ==> Egypt and Syria

Baltic and Mediterranean ==> Britannia Prima and Britannia Secunda

instead of houses and hotels, villae and latifundia

instead of railroads, just roads 

water works ==> bathhouse

electric company ==> amphitheater 

free parking ==> forum

income tax ==> wealth tax

re-skinned Chance and Community Chest cards:

“You have been elected Aedile – pay each player 50 denarii”

“Get out of Exile Free”

“Saturnalia Fund Matures – Collect 100 denarii”

“Greek Theater Night – collect 50 denarii from every player for opening night seats”

“Land Tax Refund – collect 20 denarii”

“Receive 25 denarii in bribes”

Pro bodily autonomy for the win!

Some transgender people undergo hormone replacement therapy or sexual reassignment surgery as part of their transition. Some do not. And interestingly, their decision on this matter is, medically speaking, none of your fucking business

John Oliver

Fictional Meeting

Adrian Ivashkov: Wait! So you’re that Antony guy I read about in history class. Let’s party together!

Mark Antony: As long as this party includes gallons of wine, I’m in.

Sydney Sage: Damn it, Adrian!

Cleopatra: Just hide their car keys, and then they’ll have to call us to rescue them.

Sydney Sage: Good point. 

Bad Ancient Rome Joke

Lissa Dragomir: So what do Mark Antony, Julius Caesar, and Cleopatra have in common?

Rose Hathaway: Threesome!

Lissa Dragomir: Can you honestly not take ANYTHING seriously?!

Rose Hathaway: It wouldn’t be as fun if I did. 

Fulvia and Cleopatra

How the men chronicling history saw them:

-catfight over Mark Antony, Fulvia pining after Antony until she died

How they really interacted:

Fulvia: That Octavian guy is a manipulative twerp, so don’t trust him. I’m praying to Fortuna and Minerva you kick his ass into next week. It’ll make dying in exile worth it. 

Cleopatra: I’d be willing to do that for you. Don’t worry about Antyllus and Jullus. I’ll look after them. 

Fulvia: Oh, and just as a warning. Marcus snores louder than a herd of elephants.

Mark Antony: I don’t snore!

Fulvia and Cleopatra: Yes, you do!

The beginning of a memorable speech.. 

“i could fix him” “i could make him worse” well i come to bury caesar not to praise him. the evil that men do lives after them,

LOL. 

marcus aurelius really out here saying “sex is cool and all but have you tried philosophy”

Percy, holding the door for Mary: After you :)

Mary: No, after you :)

Percy: I insist, after you :)

Byron, pushing pass the both of them: No, after me.

This is both hilarious and accurate for Lord Byron, who really was that arrogant.

So true. 

“Incredible,” Justin thought. “They punish their women for what sounds like male weakness to me.”

In which Richelle Mead writes a complex male character who sleeps around without being a sexist asshole.

This is so accurate. 

@gayvenomsnake