Leonardo Headcanon

I finished Trese from Netflix and I adore it. The concept of using Filipino culture and mythology alongside supernatural/murder mystery. I love learning new mythology through a compelling story. The characters are great- Alexandra is a badass and the twins are lovable jokesters. I can’t say whether the Filipino representation was great or not, but I like that most of the cast was of Asian descent. 

I really hope this series gets a second season because I need more content. Maybe I’ll get into the source material soon. 

To my non-artists Rise fans, have you ever felt so annoyed that you couldn’t draw what you envision in your mind? 

I’m feeling it right now. I want to draw my Rise versions of TMNT characters like Usagi, Mona Lisa, and Leatherhead so badly but I can’t draw to save my life- let alone in Rise style. 

Also, I have this fun weapon idea for Future April where she has two titanium bats for close range fighting and they transform into guns- one is a shot gun and the other is a sniper. The grip of the bat would bend for the bullet chambers and the knob would have the trigger. The other end of the bat would open for the bullets to fire. There would also be a slit where the scope would pop out.

Of course, Donnie built it for her.

(I’m just so bummed that I can’t draw and too poor to ask for a commission to be.

General Shao (Childhood) Headcanon 

Warning: mentions of child abuse, bullying, terrible parent

Ever since General Shao’s backstory was revealed on the website I’ve believed he had a terrible (borderline hellish) childhood. 

To recap, Shao had the enthusiasm and brilliance to be a great warrior, but his body was too sickly to handle the physical training. Shao’s father did not like this and decided to design a strenuous program to build Shao’s strength. On the surface, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong but I believe Shao went through awful circumstances that made him the man he is. 

In Outworld, especially in professions that involve fighting, strength is considered the most important thing for a person. No doubt Shao’s father, a renowned Outworld general, would express these ideals and hate the reality of one of his children being considered weak. He would do anything to ensure his legacy was considered strong, which he did by ignoring Shao’s physicians and crafting a training program that could potentially worsen Shao’s condition. 

Because of his family’s reputation, Shao would be tormented by other children. Being pushed around and called worthless or a “sorry excuse to his family tree.” This would fester Shao’s anger and his drive to become stronger like his father, so he’s willing to go through the program. 

In other people’s eyes the program would be considered abusive, but Shao saw it as his father caring about him. He would excuse the days long training, survival training alone in the woods, his father’s harsh words, and not letting Shao eat or drink until he perfected his moves. 

Shao would also inherit his father’s demented beliefs in what being a warrior is and what Outworld needed. He would hear his father complain about the kingdom’s alliance with Liu Kang, hearing him call the fire god a “scoundrel” and “the bringer of Outworld’s downfall.” He’d be taught that domination is the true way to live rather than peace, compassion is considered weakness, death in battle is the greatest honor, and the only way to fight is on your terms. 

(Some of Shao’s intros inspired this headcanon, such as one of his intros with Liu Kang where he admits that he’s wanted to kill Liu Kang all his life, and an intro with Reiko where he tells him, “fight on your terms or don’t fight at all.” Also, Shao’s disgusted reaction to Raiden offering to help him to his feet after their fight inspired the part about Shao being taught that compassion is weakness.) 

Unfortunately Shao never learned that his father’s behavior was abuse since the bullying he faced stopped after being able to defend himself, instead he continues this cycle with Reiko. When it comes to his relationship with Reiko, I believe Shao cares about Reiko like a son but only learned how to express love through his father. He saw his old self in Reiko and wanted to share his feelings of strength with the young boy. He trained Reiko the same way as his father did to him and the results were the same- Reiko became a great warrior. I don’t think he’s manipulating Reiko to tame Onaga; Shao genuinely believes that his young ward is capable of doing the task, but thinks Reiko dying would be okay since his father taught him that dying in battle is an honor. Hopefully if Reiko dies taming Onaga (it’s highly possible with how powerful and rabid Onaga is), Shao lowers his guard and shows genuine care for Reiko. At least a sweet goodbye or a burial scene where we see him mourning his lost ward/son. 

I don’t think Shao would be redeemed if my headcanon turned out to be true, but I would hope that other characters would learn about his past and use it as a cautionary tale on how striving for strength is not worth losing your humanity. The possible tragedy Shao’s story could take would be interesting, especially when Liu Kang somewhat created the beginning of Shao’s life to give him the chance for redemption, yet it’s someone Liu never considered that turned Shao into the person he is. 

@sidecharactersdomatter challenged me and I finally found time to respond.

pumpkin or apple // cocoa or cider // Halloween or Thanksgiving // leaf piles or apple picking // hay ride or corn maze // wooly sweater or furry slippers // pumpkin carving or knitting // squash or sweet potato// black cat or bat // skeletons or witches // fake blood or fake spiders // mashed potatoes or stuffing // orange or black // apple pie or maple donuts // marshmallows or candy corn // vampire or werewolf // fireplace or cozy nook // spiced wine or craft beer // candied apples or s'mores // big scarf or oversized hoodie

Rise Leo Headcanon #2

Leo sometimes rick rolls his family.

He has enough lovable, chaotic energy to do this. He dabs and that is pretty much a meme. 😂 The one he would torture the most is Donnie. His "twin" would retaliate by hacking into his phone and have it constantly play Leo's least favorite songs.

2003 Shredder Rant

Am I the only one who was annoyed the writers kept “tricking” the audience into thinking Shredder was dead?

It was so annoying. I was fine with it the first time since one fake death usually happens in shows. But doing this over 4 times is excessive and bland. This writing choice really made it hard for me to keep going with TMNT 2003. Killing off the Shredder wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Bringing new villains would have been fun and unique. A version of Shredder was the villain for every season except S6. There was Utrom Shredder, Karai Shredder, Demon Shredder, and Cyber Shredder.

This over reliance was the show’s crutch.

I still enjoyed watching the show tho.

My Ranking of The Encanto Soundtrack(From Most to Least Favorite)

*The Encanto soundtrack is great and there is no song I dislike*

Here is my ranking:

1. We Don’t Talk About Bruno

I know it’s a pretty basic favorite but I don’t care. I love the music and the different singing styles. Plus, it introduced me to the movie. I heard about how popular this song and I listened to the audio and got hooked. My favorite parts are Dolores and Camilo’s, they are unique and great.

2. Surface Pressure

As someone who has anxiety issues and feels constant pressure, this song really resonated with me. The lyrics were also really, and I got sort of emotional near the end. Jessica Darrow does a great job singing this song.

3. Waiting on a Miracle

I also struggle with feeling out of place in my family so Waiting on a Miracle hit me hard in the feels. I don’t have a lot to say other than I relate to the lyrics and the desperation in Mirabel’s voice to make her family proud.

4. Colombia, Mi Encanto

This song gives me such nostalgia on the good times I had with my grandmother when I was little. And the beat is just so infectious.

5. What Else Can I Do?

Now we are at part of the list where I don’t particularly love the songs.

I don’t know why but I don’t feel much for this song even though it is well produced and the lyrics are good. Maybe it’s because I don’t like Isabella that much. She was a good character but I had trouble connecting with her troubles, especially when the way she was handling it was being mean towards Mirabel. I think I would’ve been more forgiving towards her if a reason for her anger towards Mirabel was addressed and that Isabella’s development was not so rushed.

6. The Family Madrigal

Weirdly enough, I’m not in love with the musical numbers that don’t focus on a specific character. I guess with We Don’t Talk About Bruno is like an ensemble song but the main focus was Bruno. The Family Madrigal is a great song for introducing all the characters in a fun way though I wouldn’t listen to it as much.

7. Dos Oruguitas

I’m not a Spanish speaker so it’s hard for me to connect with this song since it’s all in Spanish. Though, it fits perfectly with the corresponding scene, and I got pretty emotional the first time I saw the scene.

8. All of You

Like The Family Madrigal, I didn’t love All of You because it was an ensemble song. There were some parts are enjoyed like Bruno’s little rap and the small cute moments between the family. Mirabel finally getting a door was so sweet though.

Overall, this is a really cute ending song!

Comment your ranking and your thoughts on mine. 😁

MK1 Johnny Cage (Song) Headcanons

I was inspired by @mothercetrion headcanon on Johnny’s past. You should visit their page and read some of their posts. They are very well-written! I like to connect songs with characters so I thought doing a headcanon post with songs would be a good idea. I’m also working on a regular headcanon post for Johnny as well. I love his MK1 version and feel the need to write about it. Lmk if I should make a Spotify playlist so all the songs are in one place.

TW: Heavy angst (Mention of bullying, alcoholism, parental abuse, domestic violence, and broken marriage)

I Started a Joke by Bee Gees 

- “I started a joke. Which started the whole world crying. But I didn’t see. That the joke was on me, oh no. I started to cry. Which started the whole world laughing. Oh, if I’d only seen. That the joke was on me.” 

Unfortunately, I firmly believe that Johnny was bullied and abused in his childhood. Most people who have an egotistical facade usually create that personality to protect themselves from horrible treatment. Johnny mentioned having daddy issues and an asshole brother he barely(if any) has contact with. I think his dad and, later, his brother tormented him for a long time, which I will further explain in another song. I want to focus on school bullies. Johnny seems to have always wanted to be an actor, so I think he focused on the performing arts like theatre, singing, and dancing. Sadly, it's not considered masculine to do those activities- a prime target for bullying. This treatment causes Johnny to feel like a joke to everyone. 

- “Til I finally died. Which started the whole world living. Oh, if I’d only seen. That the joke was on me.” 

This meant figuratively that Johnny’s original personality “died” and was replaced by his well-known facade to protect him from the bullying and stop him from feeling the pain. 

Blown Away by Carrie Underwood

-“Dry lightning cracks across the sky. Those storm clouds gather in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister. Mama was an angel in the ground.” 

Johnny notices his parents’ turbulent relationship. His dad is an awful man and his mom is a kind person being tormented by her husband.

-“She heard those sirens screaming out. Her daddy laid there passed out on the couch. She locked herself in the cellar. Listened to the screaming of the wind. Some people called it taking shelter.” 

Johnny’s hiding from one of his parents’ violent arguments. His room is his hiding spot- a shelter and a prison- but it doesn’t protect him from hearing the arguments. The sirens are symbolic of Johnny’s mother since she used to be a police officer (an intro with Li Mei confirms it), so she is screaming at Johnny’s father who loves his life drinking and sleeping. 

-“There’s not enough rain in Oklahoma. To wash the sins out of that house. There’s not enough wind in Oklahoma. To rip the nails out of the past (blown away)” 

The awful memory leaves Johnny wishing that his childhood home could be destroyed with no trace, though he knows it will never erase what he’s gone through.

Numb by Linkin Park

- “I’m tired of being what you want me to be. Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. Don’t know what you’re expecting of me. Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you (Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow).”

Johnny was abused by his father. He was pressured to be like his dad but would make “mistakes” (be himself), leading to his father lashing out at him. His dad is obsessed with masculinity and being a “traditional” man, which he pushes into Johnny. This puts them at odds since the performing arts (Johnny’s aspirations) are not considered masculine. 

- “I’ve become so numb. I can’t feel you there. Become so tired. So much more aware. I’m becoming this. All I want to do. Is be more like me. And be less like you.”

The constant pressure makes Johnny numb to the abuse and more aware of his father’s behavior. He wants the opportunity to be himself and the weight to lift off him. 

- “Can’t you see that you’re smothering me. Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control? ‘Cause everything that you thought I would be. Has fallen apart right in front of you.” 

He’s questioning his father’s behavior and needs to control him and the rest of the family (his mother and siblings). 

- “And I know. I may end up failing too. But I know. You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.”

Johnny fights back and decides to break the generational trauma cycle he and his dad have unwittingly been trapped in. His dad was in Johnny’s position and hated it, but decided to continue the cycle rather than end it.

Applause by Lady Gaga 

- “I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong. To crash the critic saying, “Is it right or is it wrong?” If only fame had an I.V, baby could I bear? Being away for you, I found the vein, put it in here.”

From some of his intros, Johnny sometimes gets defensive whenever anyone talks down about his career, and the first thing he brings up is how he makes his fans happy with his work. This makes me believe that Johnny loves his fans and they are the biggest reason he stays in Hollywood.

- “I live for the applause, applause, applause. I live for the applause-plause, live for the applause-plause, live for the way that you cheer and scream for me. The applause, applause, applause. Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lights out). Put your hands up, make ‘em touch, touch (Make it real loud). Give me that thing that I love (I’ll turn the lightd out). Put your hands up, make ‘em touch, touch (Make it real loud).” 

For the first time in his life, Johnny is appreciated for his aspirations and it feeds into his need to feel wanted and accepted. He wants the applause and love to grow. 

- “I’ve overheard your theory, ‘Nostalgia’s for geeks.’ I guess sir, if you say so, some of us just like to read. One second I’m a Koons fan, suddenly the Koons is me. Pop culture was in art, now art’s in pop culture, in me.” 

Since Johnny is inspired by 80s action stars, critics condemn him for not being authentic. Johnny doesn’t care and, because of the love he gets, he considers himself to be a part of pop culture. 

Liability by Lorde 

-“Baby really hurt me, crying in the taxi. He don’t know me. Says her made the big mistake in my storm. Says it was poison.” 

This reminds me of Johnny’s chapter where Steven- the director- whom Johnny might’ve considered a friend, doesn’t seem to like him and purposefully distances me. This makes me believe that Johnny doesn’t have many friends because they don’t like his boastful, outgoing personality. 

- “So I guess I’ll go home. Into the arms of the girl that I love. The only I haven’t screwed up. She’s so hard to please, but she’s a forest fire.”

 With not having many friends and his marriage on the rocks, Johnny feels alone and feels he can only count on himself. Based on his intro with Kenshi about doing forty takes, it seems like Johnny is a perfectionist, so it wouldn’t be surprising if that sentiment extends to everything he does. That’s why he has this facade where he constantly inflates his ego and his capabilities because, on the inside, Johnny is hard on himself and has trouble finding his good qualities. 

- “They say “You’re a little too much for me. You’re a liability. You’re a little much for me.” So they pull back, make other plans. I understand, I’m a liability. Get you wild, make you leave. I’m a little much for everyone.” 

Johnny accepts that he’ll never have a true connection with someone, so he makes them leave sooner before they hurt him. 

- “The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy. ‘Till all of the tricks don’t work anymore. And then they are bored of me. I know that it’s exciting running through the night, but every perfect summer’s eating me alive until you’re gone. Better on my own. They’re gonna watch me disappear into the sun. You're all gonna watch disappear into the sun” 

This pertains to Johnny’s faltering career. He was a popular actor for a long time until it ran dry. It eats him up to see people- fans, his wife, and Hollywood- grow bored and annoyed with him. By the end of his chapter, he’s alone and feels hopeless. 

Midnight Rain by Taylor Swift 

- “My town was a wasteland. Full of cages, full of fences. Pageant queens and big pretenders. But for some, it was paradise.” 

Johnny’s world is Hollywood and the American dream. He wants to be the biggest star and feel at home in the acting business. 

- “My boy was a montage. A slow motion, love potion. Jumping off things in the ocean.”

I see Cris as someone who wanted a simple life full of love and family. She was supportive of Johnny’s dream but didn’t have his drive to live the Hollywood life. She expected Johnny to settle down once his career dwindled. 

- “He was sunshine, I was midnight rain. He wanted it comfortable. I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride. I was making my own. Chasing that fame. He stayed the same. All of me changed like midnight.” 

Johnny and Cris are different people with opposing goals. Cris wanted a comfortable life and Johnny to focus on their relationship, while Johnny was consumed in his dreams and staying relevant. 

- “It came like a postcard. Picture perfect, shiny family. Holiday, peppermint candy. But for him it’s everyday. So I peered through a window. A deep portal, time travel. All the love we unravel. And the life I gave away.”

If one of them conformed to what the other wanted instead of compromise, they would’ve given away their dream life and lost their love. 

- “I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted, just what we wanted. And he never thinks of me. Except when I’m on TV. I guess sometimes we all get some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted. And I never think of him. Except on midnights like this.” 

By the end of their marriage, Johnny and Cris barely connect with each other. Cris lives her own life and only sees Johnny when his movies are on TV. Johnny is so busy with work and doesn’t focus on his personal life until he’s home late at night.  

Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift 

(This kind of continues my thoughts from “Liability” by Lorde.) 

- “I have this thing where I get older but just never wise. Midnights become my afternoons. When my depression works the graveyard shift. All of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room. I should not be left to my own devices. They come with prices and vices. I end up in crises (tale as old as time). I wake up screaming from dreaming. One day I’ll watch as you’re leaving. ‘Cause you got tired of my scheming (for the last time).”

Even though Johnny knows his career is dwindling, Johnny continues to work and revive it- something Hollywood people would consider unwise. His fears and depression leave him up at night and thinks about the people who left him and people he had to step over to make it in showbiz. His deepest fear is everyone he cares about- Cris and his fans- leaving him because they become bored of him. This is where he develops his alcoholism (this will be explained in another song). 

- “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”

Johnny knows his alcoholism is messing up his relationship with Cris but is scared of facing it, making him the anti-hero in the story. 

- “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby. And I’m a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city. Pierced through the the heart, but never killed.” 

It goes with how Hollywood works- younger, prettier actors have a higher standing than older actors. Johnny feels like people see him as a monster who ruins things, but they aren’t willing to “kill” his ambition. 

- “I have this dream my daughter in-law kills me for the money. She thinks I left them in the will. The family gathers ‘round and reads it and then someone screams out. “She’s laughing up at us from hell.” 

Johnny fears his ambition will kill him and that the people who don’t care about him will take advantage of it. 

Rehab by Amy Winehouse 

- “They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said, ‘No, no, no.’ Yes, I’ve been black, but when I come back, you’ll know, know, know. I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I’m fine.” 

Cris is trying to get Johnny to go to rehab for his alcoholism, but he refuses because he wants to focus on reigniting his career and he reasons that nobody else is concerned. 

- “I’d rather be at home with Ray. I ain't got seventy days. ‘Cause there’s nothing, there’s nothing you can teach me. That I can’t learn from Mr. Hathaway.” 

Johnny wants to continue working and being at home. He doesn’t think he has a problem and, if he did, Johnny doesn’t think anyone can help. 

- “The man said ‘Why do you think you are here?’ I said, ‘I got no idea.’ I’m gonna, I’m gonna lose my baby. So I always keep a bottle near. He said, ‘I just think you’re depressed.’ This, me: ‘Yeah, baby, and the rest.’”

Johnny goes to a therapist (Cris gave him an ultimatum). The therapist tells Johnny that it’s just depression and to stop drinking. Johnny can’t seem to stop because drinking takes away the pain he’s feeling. 

- “I don’t ever wanna drink again. I just, ooh, I just need a friend. I’m not gonna spend ten weeks. Have everyone think I’m on the mend. It’s not just my pride. It’s just till these tears have dried.”  

Johnny hates drinking but feels like it’s the only way to escape his loneliness and stress. He’s scared that his career will be over and his fans will leave him if he goes to rehab. 

Hollywood by MARINA 

- “American queen is the American dream. American queen is the American dream.”

This is the mantra Johnny says to motivate himself to continue his career.

- “I asked her ‘Why would you wanna be a Hollywood wife?’ ‘Because I don’t wanna end up living in a dive on Vine.” 

Johnny doesn’t want to live a life less than his dreams. He’ll do anything to live his dreams. 

- “Trying to stimulate a mind. That is slowly starting to decay. I itch my skin, I jump up and say. Lady, I know why your thoughts turn gray.”

Exhaustion and alcohol are infecting Johnny’s brain and dulling his thoughts. He’s barely present in his personal life- marriage and home. 

- “Hollywood infected your brain. You wanted kissing in the rain. Oh oh, (I’ve been) living in a movie scene. Pukin American dreams. Oh oh, I’m obsessed with the mess that’s America. I’m obsessed with the mess that’s America.” 

The price of striving for fame is catching up to Johnny, yet he’s willing to ignore it due to being obsessed with his desires. 

- “A fat security making plays for me. As soon as I touch down in, old L.A., he said… ‘Oh my god, you look just like Shakira. No no, you’re Catherine Zeta.” Actually, my name’s Marina.”

This is a reference to how Hollywood has a surplus of stars that can overshadow each other. Since Johnny is no longer a big star, people mistake him for a lookalike. His individualism in the industry is dying.

Oh No! by MARINA (& The Diamonds) 

- “Don’t do love, don’t do friends. I’m only after success. Don’t need a relationship. I’ll never soften my grip. Don’t want cash, don’t want card. Want it fast, want it hard. Don’t need money don’t need fame. I just want to make a change. I just wanna change.”

Johnny’s obsession evolves into him ignoring everything- his relationships and income- to maintain and grow his success.

- “I know exactly what I want and who I want to be. I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine. I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy. Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh, no, oh!”

His singular goal can be compared to a program, making Johnny out to be a machine. He’s also realizing that his alcoholism is leading him into a similar path to his father’s. This could be seen as a self-fulfilled prophecy because children usually copy their parents’ behavior, even the bad ones, and the phrase “like father, like son.” It terrifies him. 

- “One track mind, one track heart. If I fail, I’ll fall apart. Maybe it is all a test. ‘Cause, I feel like I’m the worst. So I always act like I’m the best.”

Johnny wonders if his downfall is karma since he had to step over people to build his career or a test of his character. The last two lines reference his feelings of inadequacy due to his childhood and the birth of his movie star persona.

- “If you are not very careful. Your possessions will possess you. TV taught me how to feel. Now real life has no appeal. It has no appeal.” 

In his chapter, Johnny tells Cris that they can’t cut back on cash because acting like a success makes people perceive you that way. This shows how Johnny's spending habits are consuming him. 

During his childhood, Johnny coped with his father’s abuse and his mother working all the time by watching TV. TV raised Johnny, and it made his reality- good or bad- unappealing. 

- “I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly. I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die. “I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly. I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die, die, die, die, die.” 

Johnny identifies failing as dying and succeeding as living. He thinks retiring his career will kill his confident persona and revert him to the sad child he was. 

Are You Satisfied? By MARINA 

-“I was pulling out my hair. The day I got the deal, chemically calm. Was I meant to feel happy that my life was about to change?” 

Because of his health issues- alcoholism and depression, Johnny is starting to feel numb towards his work, to the point where getting a role doesn’t excite him. 

-“One life pretending to be the cat who got the cream. Oh, everybody said, ‘Marina is a dreamer.’ People like to tell you what you’re gonna be. It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see. And do not give a damn if you don’t believe.” 

Johnny is reminded of the people in his childhood who called him a dreamer and tried to tell him what he should do with his life. He never saw why his life was anyone’s problem. 

-“My problem, it’s my problem. That I never am happy. It’s my problem, it’s my problem. On how fast I will succeed. Are you satisfied with an average life? Do I need to lie to make my way in life?” 

With no big payoff, Johnny starts to ponder if an average life will satisfy him and make him happy. If not, does he have to start lying to himself and others to continue his Hollywood life. 

-“High achiever, don’t you see? Baby, nothing comes for free. They say I’m a control freak. Driven by a greed to succeed. Nobody can stop me.”

One of his intro with Kenshi has the latter complaining about doing forty takes with Johnny arguing that the shot has to be perfect. It lead me to believe that Johnny is a perfectionist since he is driven by his need to succeed. 

-“Cause it’s my problem if I want to pack up and run away. It’s my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway. It’s my problem, it’s my problem if I feel the need to hide. And it’s my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die.” 

Johnny realizes his problems yet doesn’t push himself to get the help he needs. He thinks no one except him could handle his issues. Johnny feels that it’s his fault that he let alcohol control his life, has depression, and has no friends. 

-“Are you satisfied with an easy ride? Once you cross the line, will you be satisfied? Sad inside in this life, unsatisfied, prayin’. Sad inside in this life, unsatisfied, waitin’.” 

He wonders again whether regular life with more simplistic issues will satisfy him and if he should cross the line and consider letting go of his career. The difficult decision makes it more despondent and he prays for an answer. He finds his answer by the end of the game- to step back from the industry for a while and focus on his personal life.  

The Reason by Hoobastank 

-“I’m not a perfect person. There’s many things I wish I didn’t do. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so, I have to say before I go. That I just want you to know.” 

After going through therapy, training at Wu Shi Academy, and the Outworld adventure, Johnny realizes his mistakes and wants to apologize to Cris before they go their separate ways. 

-“I’m sorry that I hurt you. It’s something I must live with everyday. And all the pain I put you through. I wish that I could take it all away. And be the one catches all your tears. That’s why I need you to hear.”

He realizes the full extent of pain Johnny put her through. He’s remorseful and wishes he could go back to listen and comfort her. 

-“I’ve found a reason for me. To change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you. I’ve found a reason to show. A side of me you didn’t know. A reason for all that I do. And the reason is you.”

Johnny wants Cris to know how much he’s grown and will be a better person. Although sad it had to come to it, Johnny thanks Cris for letting him go since it led him to get the help he needed and continue to heal old wounds he kept hidden. 

..................

BONUS (These songs are from Cris’ point of view to Johhny.): 

All I Wanted by Paramore 

- “Think of me when you’re out, when you’re out there. I’ll beg you nice from my knees. And when the world treats you way too fairly. Well, it’s a shame I’m a dream. All I wanted was you.”

Every time Johnny leaves for his hours-long shoots, Cris hopes he thinks of her, but knows that she’ll always be second to his career. Although their marriage was always on her mind. 

- “I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times. And fall asleep on the couch. And wake up early to black-and-white reruns. That escaped from my mouth.” 

When Cris is alone, she wanders through their house and watches movies. She mostly watches Johnny’s movies to fill the hole of him not being with her most of the time. 

- “I could follow you to the beginning. Just to relive the start. And maybe then we’d remember to slow down. At all of our favorite parts.” 

Cris would do anything to have a semblance of their old relationship- before Johnny got famous- back. She hopes that if it happens then Johnny will be more attentive, and they can live a happy life. 

Call Me When You’re Sober by Evanescence 

- “Don’t cry to me, if you loved me. You would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind.” 

Cris is frustrated with Johnny and tells him that if he loved her then he would pay attention to her and her needs instead of his career. 

- “Should I let you fall, lose it all. So maybe you can remember yourself? Can’t keep believing. We’re only deceiving ourselves. And I’m sick of the lie. And you’re too late.” 

Cris contemplates letting Johnny’s alcoholism overtake him since he never listens to her advice on going to therapy or rehab. She also thinks that letting him fall could bring back John Carlton, the man she fell in love with. 

- “Couldn’t take the blame, sick with shame. Must be exhausting to lose your own game, selfishly hated. No wonder you’re jaded. You can’t play the victim this time. And you’re too late.”

Cris is tired of being responsible for Johnny's health and reducing his problems to inconveniences. She wants him to stop playing the victim and take responsibility because she can’t take care of him anymore. 

- “You never call me when you’re sober. You only want it ‘cause it’s over, it’s over.” 

Their relationship only revolves around Johnny’s career and alcoholism instead of their love. 

Losing Grip by Avril Lavigne 

-“Are you aware of what you make me feel? Baby. Right now I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real. Didn’t you feel me lock my arms around you? Why’d you turn away? Here’s what I have to say. I was left to cry there. Waiting outside there. Grinning with a lost stare. That’s when I decided.”

Cris is frustrated at Johnny being distant and inattentive. It makes her feel invisible and unimportant in his life. She questions why he acts this way when he should be treating her like his wife. It leaves her feeling desperate and lonely, but she hides it with a smile. 

-“Why should I care? ‘Cause you weren’t there. When I was scared. I was so alone. You, you need to listen. I’m starting to trip. I’m losing my grip and I’m in this thing alone.” 

Cris wonders why she’s even staying in the marriage. She’s scared of losing Johnny to his alcoholism and his obsession with work; as well as the financial troubles that were accumulating. Instead of listening and being there for her, Johnny decides to ignore the problems, making her feel alone in their marriage. 

-“Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody’s place? When you turn around can you recognize my face? You used to love me, you used to hug me. But that wasn’t the case. Everything wasn’t okay.”

Cris starts to think Johnny only wants her around to fill a role anyone can take such as a caregiver (not his intention). She sees Johnny’s eyes go through her like she’s a stranger and he rarely gives her affection. Unfortunately, Johnny’s exhaustion from working and alcoholism affects his ability to focus on what’s going on around him. 

-“Why should I care? ‘Cause you weren’t there. When I was scared. I was so alone. Why should I care? If you don’t care then I don’t care. We’re not going anywhere.” 

Cris continues pondering about their marriage, though it ends with her deciding that she’s exhausted her commitment to the marriage and has to leave before it further destroys her.

Should I Make a La’gann/Coral/Rodunn’s Kid OC?

A year ago, I used to make a lot of future kid ocs for ships like SuperMartian, Spitfire, and Dick x Barbara. I haven’t had a lot of inspiration for that project until now. I’m thinking of doing La’gann/Coral/Rodunn’d kid but I’m not sure if I should do it since the baby is already born. But I draw the kids as young adults/adults.

If the Pines family ever did a lip sync or karaoke battle, I’d like to think Mabel- to break people’s expectations of her singing a cutesy song- would pick “All I Do Is Win” by DJ Khaled and crush it(the version would be clean and Mabel would be older like 15). I also headcanon Stan lip syncing to “All Stars” to playfully mess with Ford(that’s the only way you can get to do it). 

What songs do you think the Pines would lip sync to, especially Dipper and Ford?