cinder-stella

Latest Posts by cinder-stella

“…but what I like doing best is Nothing.”

“How do you do Nothing?” asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time. […]

“It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”

— A.A. Milne

Sanctuary w/ Suguru Geto 18+ NSFW

(angst, toxic, cult AU)

You didn’t go looking for salvation.

You went because you were tired of being good.

They told you stories about Suguru being a traitor. A murderer. A cult leader. But they never told you how hard it was to live in a world that continuously broke people like you down and called it order.

You tracked him down, not for answers but for the ache beneath your ribs. The one you felt when you saw the exhaustion in his eyes before anyone called treason. When you heard the grief in his silence long before he walked away.

The temple was quiet. Not eerie but reverent. The open-air walls, the incense smoke hanging low, the wooden floors faded by bare feet—There were no curses there. No guards. Just a strange sense of peace that unnerved you more than violence ever could.

He was there, sitting cross-legged on a mat. Shirtless and calm as though he’d been waiting. His hair spilled down like he forgot what time meant. He looked exactly how you feared he would: beautiful in the way that wreckage sometimes was.

A single incense stick burned between his fingers, smoke curling lazily around his wrist.

“You made it,” he spoke, as if it was a reunion. Like it was fate.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You crossed your arms.

He smiled—tired, not triumphant. “Still sharp, I see.”

~~~

You meant to stay for an hour but you end up staying longer than you expected.

The others didn’t ask questions. They prayed, they smiled, they listened. It was strange, like a family built out of shared delusion and broken hearts.

You slept near the exit, but you watched him through the dark.

He never reached for you. He waited. He watched you like a mirror he was trying not to break. He never touched you. Never told you what to believe. But when he spoke, your throat tightened.

“The system you loved was never meant to love you back.”

You hated that you believed him.

II

It wasn’t love. Not yet atleast.

It was something else. Hunger. Not for his body but for something deeper—something ancient, electric. Something only he seemed to speak aloud. The truth.

You sat in on his sermons and listened to the way he told the others that they were enough. That they deserved rest and that they didn’t have to be used as weapons. You hated that. How deeply it resonated.

~~~

You found him lighting incense in the main hall at night. His sleeves were rolled up. His hands were steady.

You knew that you shouldn’t have been there but you stepped closer.

“Why this? Why them?” you asked, voice brittle. “You could’ve burned the whole thing down.”

He doesn’t look up.

“Because fire just kills. I wanted to make something… beautiful. Even if it’s wrong.”

You say nothing in response. You felt his words settle in your ribs like smoke.

And when he finally turned to you, the moment stretched—fragile and sharp. Your hands brushed briefly. Maybe it was accidental. Maybe It wasn’t. But neither of you pulled away.

~~~

It became a ritual.

You sought him out like your body had forgotten how to resist.

And he gave you nothing but presence. He watched. He waited. He didn’t demand a thing—he just was. And somehow, that was worse than if he’d begged.

You were afraid of what you were starting to crave.

The next day, he knelt in the prayer hall, offering silence to the gods he no longer believed in. You stood beside him, eyes half-closed, the scent of sandalwood threading through the air like static.

You thought about leaving every morning. You never do.

You kept telling yourself it’s because you’re studying him. Measuring the depth of the fall.

But the truth was, you were already in it.

III

You opened his door without knocking.

He was standing shirtless at the window, incense trailing from the corner of the room, the curtain open to the moonlight and the pool below. The air was heavy, sweet, aching.

“I need you to stop looking at me like that,” you whispered.

“Like what?” he murmured, voice rough.

“Like I’m something you can keep.”

He moved closer. Didn’t try to touch you. Just looked. And you hated how much you wanted it—his hands, his voice, the heat in his gaze that made your knees weak.

“Then tell me to stop,” he said.

And maybe you could’ve. If he didn’t look so wrecked beneath the calm. If your body didn’t betray you the second his fingers ghosted up your spine.

“You think I don’t know what I am?” he whispered. “You think I don’t hate it?”

You pressed your palm to his chest. His heart was beating like a war drum beneath your hand.

“Then touch me like it means something.”

He was on you like a man starved, mouth crashing into yours, fingers digging into your hips. The kiss was messy and desperate. But it still held some softness, as if he was trying not to lose control.

He undressed you slowly. Like he was memorizing the shape of you in case this really was the last time.

His mouth found your neck, your collarbone, the soft skin under your ribs. Everywhere but where you ached. He made sure you asked. Not to be cruel, but because he needed to hear it.

“Say it,” he whispered, breath ragged.

“I want you,” you choked out. “I want you even if I shouldn’t.”

He continued downwards, mouth finding between your legs, and licked like he was making a vow. His tongue moved slow, groaning into you like tasting you was a blessing. You fisted his hair, thighs trembling, the pleasure crawling up your spine like a confession.

“Suguru—don’t stop—please—”

“Say my name again,” he demanded, voice raw. “Say it like you need me.”

“Suguru,” you whimpered, coming apart in his mouth, legs tightening around his head.

He climbed over you, sweat-slicked and hard, eyes black with need. You reached down, wrapped your fingers around his cock and guided him in.

He slid into you like he was claiming something sacred. One hand braced beside your head, the other tangled in your hair.

It wasn’t rough—but it wasn’t gentle either. There was a fever to it. A silent plea in every thrust.

“You hate me,” he gasped, forehead pressed to yours.

“I do,” you breathed, tears prickling your eyes. “But I love you more.”

He groaned, hips stuttering, forehead still pressed to yours. The bed creaked under you both as he thrusted, deep and relentless, grinding in so your bodies met again and again.

Your nails dug into his back as your thighs locked around him. You came undone first with a breathy moan and your body arched into him. He followed shortly after, with your name in his mouth like it was the last prayer he’d ever say.

After, he kissed your knuckles like an apology. Like a farewell.

“I don’t deserve you,” he stated softly, voice cracking.

“No,” you whispered. “But I still want you to try.”

~~~

Author’s note: this song was stuck in my head for so long and I immediately had to write a fanfic with the same vibe (i know its about cheating but wtv lol) hope yall enjoyed! <3

Already listened twice today

*It has arrived* EQUUS CABALLUS, our second Equus opus, is out everywhere. This record carries every ounce of < 3 we have. We’re beyond proud to finally let it gallop free. Come catch us live on tour this year where will be playing these songs for the first time

(My dog made sure to sneak into just about every photo last time at the studio. Hi, Hobs.) Thanks for the 🌊 of love we’re already receiving

https://open.spotify.com/album/7dJPDPUi94jA91VxG4vZb3?si=uvC0Wfw-S6W0mgtJrl7nqg

https://music.apple.com/ca/album/equus-caballus/1810920290

this is so important im canceling my whole day

@importantcatpics

love this!

You’re uncomfortable being by yourself, and it’s ruining your life.

We’re all human beings, and it’s in our nature to crave interaction. To yearn for hour-long talks and constant messages. And this is normal, it’s perfectly fine. We all experience it. 

Problem comes when it reaches a point where you can’t survive without it. When your social media becomes the centre of your life, and you can't stop checking/refreshing/posting in hopes of getting some more of that sweet, fresh interaction. When you can’t sit for 5 minutes without needing to talk to someone.

You’re uncomfortable with being by yourself. Don’t get it? Let me rephrase. You are not able to sit in your own mind and be content. You can’t be alone with your thoughts, and this trouble comes when all your thoughts are inherently negative. When all your thoughts are about how you look, all alone and pathetic. About your appearance or something embarrassing that made you feel bad.

“Aeryne— how do I combat that?”

Well…

Be okay with being boring. Be okay with your thoughts going to “what am I going to have for lunch” or “that movie I watched was really interesting, let’s think about a scene I liked” Be okay with your thoughts being absolutely mundane.

Start observing. I’m sure you’ve seen babies or little children. They give you that thousand yard stare sometimes, because they’re always observing. We live in a life of stimulation, that doesn’t need to be your phone or your social media. Look at the colour of that wall, guess how fast that car is going. Fill up your time with some good old observations.

Get used to the fact that being alone is okay. And that no one else’s thoughts should affect yours. If someone thinks sitting alone = pathetic, loner, disgusting, I think they’re in for a rude awakening that life isn’t a 2005 coming of age movie. 

Now that we’ve changed your mentality a little, let me talk about the beauty of being solitary. The way of being alone.

Being alone, and having “me” time is so wonderful. God- being able to think about myself, and only myself? Not worrying about how my replies sound to others? My tones in speech? Glorious. When you’re alone, you have no one else to appease or listen to. Only yourself, so listen.

Woah- did you realise that? You can actually hear your thoughts. In this world of action, my mind is detached from all that hustle and bustle. There’s no one else’s thoughts or words filling up my logical reasoning. Just my own. 

Treasure your time with yourself. Realise what I’ve told you, apply it and you’re going to be comfortable with being by yourself. Here’s a personal challenge, if you can:

—Turn off all your notifications for an hour.

—Observe your surroundings.

—Listen to the thoughts, appreciate them.

thank you for listening, sweet ones.

xoxo,

Saint Aeryne 

Quiet Lotus Heart Seeds

In Too Deep w/ Satoru 18+ NSFW

(best friends to lovers)

You weren’t sure what made you put on the extra bit of lip gloss or the bikini that hugged your curves just right. You even did your hair. Subtle perfume. It wasn’t like this was a date. Just another hangout with Satoru—your best friend, your pain in the ass, the guy who once saw you eat half a pizza in your underwear and still dared to call you “pretty girl”.

The one who’d seen you at your worst—half-asleep with tangled hair and mismatched socks, drunk off two cocktails. The one who you had been through everything with. From the petty arguments about him carelessly hurting himself or that one time when your ex-boyfriend cheated on you and he held you all night as you sobbed into his chest.

So when you stepped through the glass doors to his backyard, and he turned around—lounging poolside like a model in a ridiculous pair of sunglasses and smugness dripping off his grin—why did your heart start hammering in your chest?

“Whoa.” His voice dropped low as he sat up. “You clean up nice.”

You rolled your eyes, heat prickling your skin in places that had nothing to do with the sun. “Oh please. You’re just not used to seeing me put in effort.”

Satoru smirked. “So you did try. Interesting.”

You snorted and dropped your bag, walking past him and feeling his gaze trail behind you like the sunlight on your skin. “Try not to drown in your own ego, ‘Toru.”

But he didn’t stop watching. Even as you slid into the pool, letting the water wash the nerves away, you felt his stare—and something in it had changed.

The water was blissfully cool against your heated skin as you slipped in. Satoru followed with a loud splash, flinging water at you like a kid. It was easy to fall back into the rhythm of your friendship: teasing splashes, random grabs, jokes, the occasional glances that lingered too long. He drifted closer, inch by inch, like the pull of gravity was just stronger between you in the water.

“I didn’t know you were so weak,” he teased as you lunged at him again.

You hooked your arms around his neck with a grin. “I’m conserving my energy, obviously.”

He grinned as he grabbed your waist and pulled you under for a second before bringing you back up, water cascading down both your faces.

Then he started moving toward the deep end—fast. You stiffened the moment you felt your toes lose touch with the bottom.

“Wait—wait, ‘Toru, I can’t—”

He stopped instantly, letting you cling to him, legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. One of his hands slid under your thigh to keep you steady, the other resting warm against your lower back.

“Relax, I’ve got you.” he said softly, eyes uncharacteristically gentle as you clung to him. “You okay?” he asked, softer now.

You nodded, but your voice came out small. “Yeah. Just forgot how deep it gets.”

“Lucky for you,” he said, standing with the water at chest level, “I’m annoyingly tall.”

You snorted, but your laughter faded. You were suddenly hyperaware of how close his body was, how your chest pressed against his, how his strong hands didn’t move an inch too far but definitely not far enough.

“You’re staring,” Satoru’s voice dropped a little, playful still—but something deeper laced beneath it.

“So are you.”

He didn’t answer. The silence stretched, warm and tense.

“I really wanna kiss you,” you broke the silence before you could stop yourself.

Satoru blinked slowly, and then—very deliberately—tilted his head and kissed you.

It wasn’t rushed—not at first. His lips moved over yours like he was memorizing you, like he couldn’t believe you were letting him. Your arms tightened around him, and he groaned softly into your mouth as the kiss deepened, hands sliding under your thighs to hold you tighter.

You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, half-floating and half-pressed to each other, but eventually, he pulled back just far enough to rest his forehead against yours.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he murmured.

“Then take us somewhere softer to die.”

His laugh was low, rough. Without another word, he started walking—still carrying you, cradled to his chest like you weighed nothing. You blinked, surprised. “You’re really—”

He smirked. “Yup.”

You barely registered the door opening behind his shoulder, the sunlit bedroom welcoming you in. Large windows gave a perfect view of the shimmering pool, your damp skin glistening in the filtered light as he laid you back on his bed, hovering over you with a hunger barely restrained.

Satoru looked down at you like he was seeing heaven.

“I’ve thought about this,” he admitted, voice low. “Too many damn times.”

Your fingers skimmed over his abs, trailing lower. “Then stop thinking.”

His mouth crashed into yours again—hotter now, needy. He tugged the ties of your bikini loose one by one, slow and deliberate, like he wanted to savor every second.

Your back arched as his lips traced a wet path down your neck, teeth grazing your collarbone. He kissed the swell of your breast before taking one nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue until you whimpered beneath him.

“You sound so fucking pretty,” he whispered, switching sides.

His hand dipped beneath your bikini bottoms, fingers finding you soaked and aching. You gasped when he rubbed slow circles over your clit, teasing and light.

“Been wanting you like this for so long,” he murmured. “I can’t believe you’ve been right in front of me, looking at me like that, and I didn’t do anything.”

“Do something now,” you challenged.

He groaned, deep and raw, then sat up to slide your bottoms off completely. You watched as he shed his own swim trunks, his cock already hard, thick and so ready.

He stroked himself once, then leaned over you again, voice a rasp against your ear. “Tell me you want this.”

“I want it. Badly.” you breathed.

He groaned, dragging his cock along your folds before easing in—slow, smooth, thick enough to make your breath catch.

“Shit,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck. “You feel so good.”

And for a while, neither of you said anything—just the sound of skin, breathing, and the creak of the bed under the slow, deep rhythm of his hips.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t messy. It was everything you didn’t know you’d needed.

And when you came—clinging to him, legs still wrapped tight like they had been in the pool—he was right there with you, eyes locked on yours, like he didn’t want to miss a second.

“That’s it, baby,” he murmured, kissing you again. “Hold onto me.”

You did. You held him like he was the only thing keeping you from sinking.

And maybe, in a way, he was.

Afterward, he collapsed beside you, dragging you onto his chest, both of you sticky and grinning like idiots.

You traced patterns over his ribs and muttered, “So, uh... still best friends?”

He laughed. “Best friends who do this? Hell yeah.”

You giggled. “You’re ridiculous.”

Gojo kissed your forehead, pulling the sheet over both of you.

“And yet... you keep coming back.”

how to begin your rebranding journey (self-rebrand tips)

1. start following accounts (like mine🫶) that helps you with your rebrand. whoever you want to become, how you want to live, use social media as a way to constantly be reminded to upgrade yourself. subscribe to youtubers who live how you want to live and those who will help you with what you need help with. you use social media everyday so you might as well use it for a purpose rather than endless scrolling. change it up, it’s okay

2. this kind of goes hand-in-hand with number 1, but change your mental environment. you are the content that you consume. you are the music you listen to, you are the tv shows you watch, you are the social media you follow— all this media is being recorded in your mind. your subconscious mind perceives it as real. think about it: people who listen to sad music are generally always pretty sad. people who watch crime documentaries are usually scared and on high alert 24/7. it’s okay to enjoy your favorite music, tv shows, movies, books, etc., but be careful of how much of it you’re consuming. change it up, it’s okay

3. change your physical environment. redecorate, move, clean, organize, go outside more, do everything you need to do to change your physical environment. this can be as simple as letting in fresh air and sunlight rather than keeping the blinds closed and being in the horrible fake yellow light and air conditioning (unless it’s extreme heat or cold outside.. obviously). maybe try eating out at that restaurant instead of having it delivered. always look to change your environment and surroundings. change it up, it’s okay

4. i suggest doing the steve harvey 300 things list. if you don’t know what it is, you write down 300 things you want for yourself and for your life. read it every morning and every night. pray over it. meditate over it. and work on some of those things. it’s not enough to just read and pray, you have to do the work. feel free to look it up on youtube

5. start working on your goals today. do something. anything. maybe you can only handle one goal at a time. that’s okay. maybe you can work on multiple goals at once, that’s okay too. it’s not a race. do something right after reading this, it’s okay

helpful things to remember:

it's not going to happen overnight, relax

you must enjoy the process and not try to focus so much on just the end result

you're going to have good days and bad days. again, relax

Glowing beast

Road Trip w/ Kento 18+ NSFW

The hum of the tires on the highway had become monotonous—and you were bored out of your mind.

“Are we there yet?” you asked, allowing your head to lay against the window.

Kento raised an eyebrow, eyeing the stretch of green rolling past the windows. “Not entirely, no.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a getaway,” you muttered. “You know, fun. Spontaneous.”

From the driver’s seat, Kento gave you a sidelong glance over his glasses.

“It is a getaway,” he said with a slight chuckle. “We’ve been on the road for three hours, haven’t run into a single curse, and the traffic’s been ideal. I fail to see what part of this isn’t enjoyable.”

You huffed, folding your arms across your chest. “Can we at least put on some music? I’m tired of listening to some guy rambling about greek philosophers.”

He sighed, “As you wish but I did allow the auto drive for your comfort. Isn’t that spontaneous enough?”

Your grin was slow. Dangerous. “So you’re not technically driving right now?”

“No. I’m monitoring—why are you smiling like that?”

Your hand slowly creeped across the console until your hand found the inside of his thigh.

“Y/n.” Kento said firmly, his expression unchanging. Kento rarely unraveled easily.

You ignored his voice, fingers sliding upward, teasing the seam of his trousers.

“I’d advise against your suggestive movements.” Kento’s jaw tightened, his eyes still glued to the road.

“Oh come on,” you purred. “I’m just making this trip a bit more interesting.”

“You mean you’re doing something illegal while in a moving vehicle?” Kento asked coolly, though his hand twitched on the wheel. “Because I can assure you, that’s not—”

“Illegal? No.” Your hand was now palming the growing bulge. “Inappropriate? Definitely.”

“Not in public,” he murmured, already losing some of the steel in his tone.

You leaned in, lips brushing his ear. “But it’s not really public, is it? No one can see in. No cameras. And you’re not even driving.”

His jaw clenched. His pants tightened further beneath your hand. You unbuckled your seatbelt with a click and shifted yourself to get better access.

“You’re insatiable,” he muttered, voice hoarse.

You grinned as your hand toyed with his zipper. As you tugged it down, Kento didn’t resist or flinch as you pulled him free from his boxers. He was hard and already twitching in your hand. The contrast between his restraint and your shamelessness made heat curl in your belly.

You leaned down, pressing a kiss to the head of his cock, slow and teasing. He inhaled through his nose—sharply—but said nothing.

“Eyes on the road, Nanami,” you teased, voice breathy.

He was already squirming in his seat, thighs tense, and his hands gripping onto the steering wheel for dear life.

Your mouth closed over him, slow and wet, taking him in inch by inch while the car hummed quietly around you. The thrill of the open road, the sun dipping low over the horizon, and the absolute obscenity of your position made you moan softly around him.

He hissed at the vibration. You took your time, teasing and pushing him to the edge.

“God,” he murmured. “You’re going to kill me.”

One of his hands found your hair, threading through gently at first but his grip tightened every time you took him all the way. Kento bit back his moans and simply grunted, still conscious of the fact that you were both in a moving vehicle.

You pulled back just enough to speak, lips slick, eyes bright with mischief. “I want you to come in me.”

Kento groaned lowly as his thighs trembled ever so slightly. You sat back up and took off your panties.

“Y/n, please. Not here,” Kento’s voice wavered, watching your every move.

You simply bit your lip, “Recline your seat for me.”

Kento hesitantly complied, completely entranced by the moment. You swung your leg over him and positioned your already wet center above his drooling tip.

Kento swallowed, almost shaking from anticipation and a bit of fear. You sank down onto him slowly, gasping at the stretch. Kento’s hands settled on your hips—firm, but not demanding. Controlled. Like he was holding himself back.

He exhaled slowly through his nose, his brows drawn together as he watched you ride him. Not a single word left his lips.

“You’re too quiet,” you whispered, leaning forward to kiss his neck. “Don’t tell me you’re unaffected.”

“I’m not unaffected,” he replied, voice low and steady. “I’m trying not to lose control in a moving vehicle.”

You smiled against his skin, amused by the way he said it so calmly—while his cock throbbed deep inside you, and his fingers tightened minutely every time you ground down just right.

“Why fight it?” you murmured, starting to move in slow, deliberate rolls. “Just give in.”

He shook his head once, eyes flicking to the road as if that would save him. “You have no patience.”

“And you have too much,” you teased, circling your hips again. “Let me wear you down.”

Kento didn’t respond—but his jaw clenched, and his grip on your waist grew firmer. He was still so maddeningly composed, even as you clenched around him, already slick and aching. You loved the way he held it all in and you loved breaking him down, piece by piece.

You reached between your bodies and stroked your clit, moaning softly as you bounced just a little harder, the wet sounds between you unmistakable now in the quiet car.

“You feel so good,” you breathed. “I wanna make you come so badly.”

Kento drew in a deep, shaky breath. “You need to stop talking like that.”

“Why?” you asked sweetly, cupping his face so he’d look at you. “Is it turning you on?”

Kento’s head tipped back against the seat with a dull thud, jaw tight, hands gripping your thighs like they were the only things tethering him to reality.

You leaned forward, your chest brushing his as you rode him harder now, chasing that perfect rhythm. His hands slid up your back slowly, then down again, finally resting just above your ass. Still not pulling you down, not guiding you. Just there.

“You’re killing me,” he murmured, voice tight.

You kissed him then—soft, slow, and deep—and it was that kiss that finally cracked him. His hands grabbed your hips, grounding you as he began to thrust up into you, sharp and deliberate.

“Keep going,” he said quietly. “Don’t stop.”

You moaned into his mouth, your hands braced on his chest, letting him take the reins now, letting him fuck up into you with control and focus—but his breathing was starting to hitch, his rhythm faltering as you clenched and pulsed around him.

“Give it to me” you whispered. “Please.”

Kento groaned—barely—but you felt it more than heard it, his whole body tensing as he came deep inside you. His arms locked around your waist, holding you close as he rode it out in silence, only the sound of his heavy breathing and the car engine filling the space.

You collapsed against him, breathless and flushed, heart pounding.

He pressed a kiss to your temple. “You’re insane.”

You smirked. “And you’re impossible to break. But I’ll keep trying.”

Types of meditation

1. Mindfulness meditation: Focus on your breath or a specific sensation, bringing your attention to the present moment.

2. Loving-kindness meditation: Cultivate feelings of love and compassion towards yourself and others.

3. Transcendental Meditation: Repeat a mantra to achieve a state of relaxed awareness.

4. Body scan meditation: Direct attention to different parts of your body, releasing tension and promoting relaxation.

5. Zen meditation (Zazen): Sit in a specific posture, focus on your breath, and observe thoughts without attachment.

6. Guided meditation: Follow a recorded or live guide's instructions for visualization and relaxation.

7. Vipassana meditation: Develop insight by observing bodily sensations and thoughts with non-reactive awareness.

8. Yoga nidra: A state of conscious relaxation achieved through guided meditation while lying down.

9. Chakra meditation: Focus on energy centers in the body, visualizing and balancing them.

10. Mantra meditation: Repeat a word, phrase, or sound to quiet the mind and enhance concentration.

Today’s Mood board

MAKING LIFE BEAUTIFUL ༊*·˚

beauty is a high value of mine, it makes life worth living, and with that i don't mean conforming to commercial beauty standards, but cultivating a beautiful environment, inner thoughts/mindset, and lifestyle. here are some things i want to do to make my life more beautiful:

avoiding stress by doing tasks and assignments early

feeling refreshed by not staying up late

experiencing the sunrise and sunset by waking up early and being more mindful of my environment/nature

having a clean and tidy room

having an organized digital space

having an athletic and flexible body by regularly exercising and stretching

having an uncluttered mind by journaling my thoughts everyday

having a positive mindset (no self-loathing, ugly thoughts!)

making life meaningful by not only consuming, but also creating beautiful things through creative means

pursuing my hobbies (writing, drawing, singing, dancing, crafting)

eating less processed food & more beautifully prepared healthy food

being hygienic by smelling good, caring for my nails & hair, and wearing stainless clean clothing

avoiding stress by not being forced to hurry

concentrating being in the present moment

minimizing social media usage

creating a nice atmosphere with matching music

basically romanticizing my life

i hope these tips help you cultivate a more beautiful life too! i might make more blog posts if i feel inspired, because they are pretty too ;)

︶︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶⊹︶⊹︶୨୧︶︶

Our second Eqqus album, Equus Caballus, is coming out Tuesday next week on May 6th 🐎 Cover: Donna Ferrato

the backrooms with cute cats roaming around? hell yeah

Are you coming with?

PAINSLUT TOJI, MAYBE???!!! 18+ NSFW

(edited, enjoy!)

You were lying in bed, reading a book, when Toji finally came home. The door creaked open and he stepped inside, sluggish and quiet.

“I’m back,” he grunted, not even glancing your way before heading straight into the bathroom.

You raised an eyebrow, eyes drifting to the closed door. He didn’t look hurt—just... drained. You waited, listening to the sound of the shower starting up, then the low sigh that followed.

When he finally came out, he was toweling off his hair, another towel hanging low on his hips. His muscles flexed with each swipe, water still dripping down his chest. You let your eyes linger for a second too long before smirking.

“How was your day, baby?” you asked, setting your book aside.

“Absolute shit,” he muttered, walking over and flopping down face-first onto the bed “That guy’s gonna kill me.”

You shifted to face him. “Who?”

“My new training partner.” His voice was muffled by the pillow.

You nudged his shoulder playfully. “Aren’t you supposed to be super strong? Don’t tell me you’re getting soft.”

“Gimme a break,” he grumbled, not even bothering to lift his head.

You smiled and shifted over to straddle his hips, hands starting to knead the tension in his back.

He let out a long, low groan. “Yeah, that’s good,” he mumbled.

You kept working on him, thumbs digging into the spots that felt the most tense, feeling the stress slowly melt out of him. He made little grunts and sighs, equal parts pain and relief.

“You enjoying this?” you asked, leaning forward a little, lips brushing his ear.

“Fuck yes,” he breathed. “Don’t stop.”

You shifted again, your weight pressing into his lower back.

“Where you goin’, baby?” he murmured, lifting his head a fraction.

“God forbid a girl gets tired,” you said, brushing your hair out of your face. “Flip over.”

He let out a low groan and rolled onto his back, eyes half-lidded, body spent. You straddled his hips, dragging your fingers down his chest slowly. He shivered under your touch, his hands moving lazily to your thighs.

You started rolling your hips against him, just a little. Just enough.

“Don’t start this,” he muttered, voice tight. “I’m serious—I’m beat.”

You tilted your head, feigning innocence. “What d’you mean?”

Toji met your gaze, jaw clenched, clearly fighting the urge to move. “You know what.”

“Too tired to fuck me?” you teased, leaning in to kiss his jaw.

“I wanna,” he admitted, “but my body’s not keeping up right now.”

“That’s fine,” you whispered, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above his head.

“You don’t have to do anything.”

Toji groaned, head pressing back into the pillow.

He was used to being in control, used to flipping you over and fucking you until you couldn’t breathe. So being under you like this—unable to do anything but feel—was killing him in the best way.

“You just can’t wait, huh?” he muttered, his breath catching as your hips rocked again, slow and deliberate.

“Do you not want this?” you asked, peppering soft kisses along his neck.

“You know I do,” he breathed, eyelids fluttering shut. “But you’re playing dirty.”

You grinned, sliding your hand down his stomach, undoing the towel. His cock sprang free, already thick and hard, twitching under your touch. You wrapped your fingers around it, stroking slowly from base to tip, teasing the sensitive underside with your thumb. Toji bit his lip hard, holding back the shiver that racked his body.

You kissed your way down his chest, trailing lower until your breath fanned over his tip. He sucked in a sharp breath, and you smiled against his skin before pressing a kiss to the base of his cock.

“God, this is embarrassing,” he muttered through clenched teeth.

You tried not to laugh. “You look pretty good from down here,” you said, licking a slow stripe up his shaft.

He twitched and flinched as the muscles in his thighs tensed beneath your palms.

Then you took him into your mouth—slow, steady, letting him stretch your lips, the tip brushing the back of your throat. His fingers tightly clenched the sheets, his breath stuttering as he groaned low in his chest.

“Mmf… shit,” he hissed.

You came up for air, swirling your tongue around the tip, stroking the rest with your hand. You moaned around him, your own arousal pulsing between your thighs. You let his cock fall from your mouth with a soft pop and climbed back on top, straddling him once again. He looked up at you, completely dazed.

You didn’t give him time to speak. You peeled off your nightgown, pulled your panties to the side, and slowly slid his cock through your folds, spreading your wetness along his length.

His eyes locked on your pussy as you teased him. He let out a tiny, almost pitiful whimper.

“You’re so wet for me, baby,” he muttered, voice wrecked.

“Yeah? You want me to ride you?” you asked, placing his tip at your entrance and rocking your hips.

“Fucking get it over with—oh my god—” he groaned as you sank down onto him.

His eyes rolled back, head dropping to the mattress. You never thought you’d hear Toji whine, but here he was—completely undone under you.

You started slow at first, savoring the stretch, but you couldn’t help it—you needed more. You leaned forward, planting your hands on his chest for leverage and began slamming your hips down. The headboard banged softly against the wall in time with your movements.

“Holy shit, baby, fuck,” Toji moaned, his hands flying to your ankles, gripping hard like he was grounding himself.

“You see what you do to me, huh?” you whispered, grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging just enough to make him look.

He barely opened his eyes, but when he did—his gaze locked onto the sight of your pussy swallowing his cock—and he let out a broken sound.

“Uhuh… just like that—fuck.”

His moans turned desperate, and you could feel yourself getting close. You clenched around him, his cock twitching inside you.

Your legs were shaking, and you could feel how soaked you were, the wet sounds between you two getting louder with every bounce. Toji's head was thrown back, mouth open, eyes fluttering as he gripped your ankles like they were the only thing keeping him from completely losing it.

“Fuck, baby—you’re gonna make me come,” he rasped, voice hoarse.

You leaned forward, your hands flat on his chest, hair sticking to your neck. “Yeah? You gonna come already, big guy?” you teased, breath hitching as you ground down on him slow and deep.

He let out a choked laugh, cut short by a groan. “Keep talking shit—see what happens when I can move again.”

You smirked. “You’re threatening me? Cute.”

You rolled your hips with purpose now, chasing that high you could feel tightening in your gut. All it took was feeling his cock throb inside you. Your body trembled, your moans falling out unfiltered as you clenched around him, eyes squeezing shut.

Toji’s jaw clenched as he tried to hold on, but the heat of your orgasm, the feel of your slick walls gripping him—it was too much. Toji swore under his breath, his cock pulsed as he spilled deep inside you, hips jerking up helplessly with each twitch.

“Fuuuck—baby, fuck,” he groaned, his head thrown back.

You slumped forward, both of you panting like you just ran a marathon.

A few seconds passed before Toji muttered, “I can’t believe you fucking did that to me.”

You snorted, brushing your fingers through his sweaty hair. “You loved it.”

He grumbled something into your chest, arms lazily wrapping around your back.

“You’re not gonna move, are you?” you asked after a beat, still on top of him.

“Nope,” he said flatly. “This is my life now.”

You laughed softly, “You’re such a mess.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he murmured, already half asleep.