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christianschaffer

Waking up in Washington, someplace high in the North Cascades ↟

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.

I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.

Trying out something different for the clouds~

(source)

1000 follower giveaway!

Hello everyone! As you may know, I just hit 1000 followers! To celebrate this frankly stunning achievement, I’m doing a giveaway of my first novella: Chlorophyll and Gasoline. 

A physical copy of it! Paperback and all that!

^ Novella cover! 

Chlorophyll and Gasoline is about Willow, a curious and inquisitive Gaian, a race of plant-human hybrids. She descends deep into the cave and ruins system known as the Undergrowth, and in it finds a robot named Suzy. The two of them form a friendship, despite protests and caution from Willow’s community. 

To enter the giveaway, you must:

Follow me AND reblog this post

Additional reblogs count as additional entries, but please don’t spam your followers! 

I will ship anywhere, and cover every cost and expense! 

The giveaway ends on September 23rd, 2018! That’s my birthday, so I sure as hell won’t forget it. The winner will be chosen through random number generators, and I will personally contact them over Direct Messaging, along with making a post announcing the winner. 

If you want to read a sample of Chlorophyll and Gasoline, it’s under the Read More!

Keep reading

A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

You wrote a novel about a demon falling in love with a human. Then, you summon a demon in order to get “real” feedback and constructive criticism. To your surprise, the demon laughs at your work.

Clue Crew, I came across this Fox and Geese/Leaping Lizards solution on Reddit. Reblog to save your sanity.

shout out to everyone dealing with a tic disorder or tourette syndrome who’s ignored in the mental health community, you are important and you are loved.