First Photo Of An Exoplanet:

First Photo of an Exoplanet:

Above is the first photograph of a planet outside of our solar system - MCY 70117a, or “Planet Tennis Ball”

MCY 70117a is a Saturn-sized gas giant orbiting the binary brown dwarf Luhman 16, which is only 6.5 light years from our sun. It was photographed on July 1st, 2017 by amateur astronomer Marshall C. Yarnblob of rural Cornwall, England. 

“I built my telescope from some spare computer parts and a common bathroom mirror,” said Yarnblob, “It’s slightly better than Hubble due to the curvature of the mirror, which I discovered only after I had built the ‘scope. I built it to spy on my neighbor, who I’m pretty sure is some kind of Satanist, but when I pointed it to the stars, I realized its resolution was, by pure chance, flawless.”

Yarnblob offered his telescope to NASA and the ESA but was declined by both, who didn’t believe his claims. One thing is for certain- They believe him now. They also afforded him the right to name the planet, which he promptly called “Planet Tennis Ball” owing to the yellow hue and white curvy line around its equator, which experts believe is an atmospheric band of methane.

The Yarnblob Telescope is currently being moved - very carefully - to Dungeness beach where light pollution will not affect it. Said NASA head Lauren Logllamadachshund, “We hope to view the system’s other planets within the week, and to observe the exoplanets of Proxima Centauri in even greater clarity.”

Yarnblob has declined all offers of money for the telescope, stating that science is its own reward. He asked only for a conventional telescope in exchange so that he might further spy on his neighbor. “He’s up to something, I know it. The police won’t listen but I saw him building an altar, and I saw him wearing black robes. The man sacrifices babies, you mark my words,” said Yarnblob.

When asked for comment, his neighbor Aleister LaVey stated that he was not a Satanist, and that he only ever sacrificed one baby once when he was in college as part of a frat dare.

FIJMU News, 7/16/17