Call Me Crazy But I Don't Really Like Part 2 Of Yuumori...

reblog if you’re a writer who’s very terrible at responding to comments from your readers, but has read them all and loves and appreciates each and every single one of them very dearly

Day 5. Secrets

Before L boarded his spacecraft, he was teaching it to youth. A very rebellious and unruly youth, one must say. The kind that soon got him entangled with a certain police officer...

or L gets some bad news and has to deal with it himself because no one else seems to understand anything

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

He felt this since childhood. Everyone is looking at him. When he was outside, he felt everyone's gaze on himself. It made his skin crawl. Despite the fact that every time he turned around to realize that no one was actually looking, he couldn't shake off this feeling. That horrifying thought always gnawed on his sanity. Everyone — every single person — is looking at his clothes, monitoring his footsteps, listening to his voice; everyone would not miss the chance to devour him the moment he slips up, the moment they see a flaw, a mismatch, inaccuracy. He felt like he was under constant scrutiny.

He had learned to live with it. His every thought, his every action and every word must comply with strict guidelines the society has set, must add to his perfect image and not subtract from it. In a new place he must choose the only correct path out of millions possibilities. One that would make him seem like a good person, good, trustworthy and righteous man. One that would earn him being treated with humanity and respect.

The feeling followed him into adulthood. Now, when he had taken on William's name, he must control his image with even more scrutiny. Is his voice low enough? Is his stance too relaxed? Does his body look normal enough? When he first saw himself in the mirror, the person he must be, he stopped eating. One pound of fat could ruin this perfect image. Two weeks later Louis force-fed him, muttering something under his breath. William only smiled weakly and fell asleep in the plate of Louis' stew. He wasn't able to fight off his own mind any further.

He started doubting himself. Rather, he never stopped doing that since he had learned that important thing about himself. A child, he immediately doubted the conclusion he had reached. He had heard that people like him are abnormal, insane. No matter how much efforts he put into complying with society's own guidelines, that same society would push him away. He had heard that people like him are killed. He had seen that many times.

His reflection isn't his anymore. He's just pretending. Putting on someone else's skin with that someone else's clothes, hair and mannerisms. Nothing was his. He has just borrowed his skin. It looks out of place on him. Everyone can surely see that. The longer he looks in the mirror, the more he feels sick. Everything he has grown to consider his doesn't belong on him.

"Brother are you alright?" Louis asks with audible concern and wraps his arms around William's shoulders. It's somewhat soothing.

He forces himself to close his eyes and tries to smile. He is sure that it looks forced and tight. Because it's just not her face.

ohhh, i have just pissed off a good chunk of russian fandom and got told to a) lock myself up somewhere and throw away my phone, b) visit a psychologist, c) kms.

another thing they said is that we're not in english fandom. my friends told me that i should post it here. so i will. after i translate it.

and remember, not all in our fandom are like that. no. idiots are just a bit more socially acceptable there.

one of the issues of being obsessed with death note is that it’s not comforting

like when i was having a panic attack in the hospital they were like what’s your favorite show can you watch that and no! i don’t think seeing a teenager commit mass murder is gonna help! i believe it would make the anxiety worse and id cry harder!

For the 'send me a character' ask game:

Is asking about Mikami too obvious? Haha

@catboymettaton asked the same thing,,, you guys know me so well. glad to know that mikami is the first character that pops into the minds of you all when i am concerned

favorite thing about them

God. can i say everything. love love love everything about him: his genuine obsession with justice, something that he has that light doesn't !!!; how from a very young age, he has had this frigid mindset of good and evil like imagine being eight years old and thinking that; the fact that he's just a very huge fan of winston churchill. i love how pedantic and routinely he is, that is one of the main reasons why light failed in the end. he is so predictable that it's a fault, that he clings to his routine so much. he is NOT neurotypical, i love him so much. also love how his priority is his own ideals which he is sooooo fixed on, i'll talk about it a little later in the post.

ALSO i remembered this as i was writing this post but i really like the fact that he kind of absentmindedly thinks that he's the reason for all of this. very very very unexplored aspect of his character.

least favorite thing about them

the fact that he's a very huge fan of winston churchill :((( i am bengali and he is literally the reason why the bengal famine got so bad. shit person in general, hate that guy so much. the whole "kill all lazy people" isn't a good look for mikami either.

favorite line

the obligatory "YOU"RE NOT GOD, YOU'RE TRASH" but in like the opposite note, i really like the line "there is no reason for me to question. God is absolute. my job is to do as God wishes". one thing i find so unfortunate about death note is that none of the lines in animanga aren't very cool. like it's not deep and poetic :( closest thing to a deep line is probably just the "i wish we could have met some other way // this is the only way we could have met" exchange in jdrama.

brOTP

takada and mikami,,, my most beloved. they can conquer the world, i know this. they are best friends to me. mikami seriously respects her a lot and praises her. i just like to imagine them chatting together before they started working with light. just sitting together, talking over politics, current events, kira, their opinions. they both really really need it. on the other hand, put mikami and misa is a room together PLEASE. can't believe they have never had a canon interaction, this NEEDS to happen. one of these days,,, i will write a misa&mikami fic,,, it would be my best project yet i think considering they are the two dn characters i think i understand the most.

OTP

MIKALAWLIGHT 🗣🗣🗣 OTP OF ALL TIME 🗣🗣🗣think about those three every single day,,, my favorite death note ship,,, well technically it's an OT3 i believe but still. i have two modes of mikalawlight i constantly think about, one is in my special little 1stkira!mikami au where L's primary theory is that light is kira and mikami is his accomplice when it's actually the other way around, misa is still the 2nd kira and it's mikamisa in the same way death note is yagamane except mikami doesn't try to manipulate misa like light does. my second mode of mikalawlight is jdrama mikalawlight because it's the only version of death note where mikami actually co-exists with L (i think it's the only version ? don't know about live action movie or german audio drama). there's of course, alternate no death note universe mikalawlight that i think about. ALSO. everyone go read this fic, most perfect mikalawlight ever even though it's tragically unfinished.

nOTP

actually,,, don't think i have a notp for mikami,,, i just really like it when he is there. mikalawlight, mikalight, lawmika, mikamisa, kiyokami, mikavanni, mikamatsu, mikanear, all very very good to me. just have him there and i am the happiest man alive.

random headcanon

while i really don't like christian mikami and how prevalent it is all the time in dn fandom, i do think he believes in something divine, a kind of higher power. it's not a christian god, it's something very specific to him. micah has a fic where they talk a little about him believing in a higher power like that and. nailed it, it's absolutely my thoughts on mikami. a vaguely muslim mikami is something i find really really really funny and something i think about all the time, because his take on the whole killing people thing really reminds me of the islamic concept of jihad. but i don't take that seriously because i am worried that it would be blasphemous. siller mikami headcanons, he can play the piano and violin. he is bisexual with a lean towards men and it's just something he's fine with it, doesn't think much of it. he cuts his own hair.

unpopular opinion

i will be super honest with you,,, back in like 2009-2016ish time frame, i sincerely believe that teru mikami was one of the, if not most, mischaracterized character in death note. it's fine now, there isn't anything outrageous about mikami that's going around now, but have you seen lawlight fics from that specific time. shudders. so unpopular opinion, i have got a lot of. hmph, but i think one of my favorite opinions that i have is that mikami is definitely not the picture of "blind devotion" like he is often made out to be. mikami is actually very independent and correct me if i am wrong, one of the first actions that he does as x-kira is literally oppose light, when he kills demegawa even though light didn't tell him to. i think HE thinks that he is really good at following orders and will do everything that kami tells him to and i also think that light thinks in the same way, that mikami is #1 perfect servant, but mikami's priority first and foremost is his own ideals, as i alluded to before. it's a part of his facade i think, all of his life

that's why he denounced light so easily in the warehouse scene.

so what this all boils down to is that mikami is NOT obsequious and a sycophant. if i did assign the concept of "blind devotion" to a character, it would probably be misa.

song i associate with them

i need to make a playlist about him, i swear to God. funnily enough, i'll put where is the justice from the death note musical in there because that's more of a mikami song than a light song. but aside from that, exit music (for a film) and not really a song, but fitter happier, which are both by radiohead. one of these days, i need to make a post connecting every lyric of exit music to mikami, it's such a him song.

favorite picture of them

can't pick one favorite tragically,,, there is a LOT. here's a mini collection.

^ gymbro mikami will forever be famous to me

^ one of the photos of him that i carry around in my phone case (if anyone wants to see the rest, let me knowww)

it feels so good not to have tumblr updated. my heart goes out to the poor souls who are suffering from the terrible ui

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

how my brain picks a new favorite character who sucks