Dc Reblog - Blog Posts

Jason has been numb since he climbed out of that grave

I bet the criminals in Gotham city freak the fuck out when the Batman shows up without Robin.

Because, yeah, you’re going to get the shit kicked out of you either way—but when the kids’ around, Batman’s more… merciful. He’ll knock you out instead of breaking both your arms. He’ll round-house you but not stab you in the gut with a bat-a-rang. There’s less blood and gore, like Batman’s trying to spare the kiddo from the more unsavory aspects of vigilantism.

I bet when the goons see Robin, they breathe a sigh of relief. Cause Batman’s gonna fuck ‘em, but he isn’t going to fucking annihilate them—not in front of his kid.

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

It's Bruce's love language ☺️

bok bok bok bok baaawk 🐔

everytime tim pisses off jason jason's like "first you steal my fucking job, now this?!" and tim goes "i didn't STEAL robin, you were DEAD and the position needed to be FILLED." and then jason says "but when i stopped being dead you didn't give it BACK. when an office worker gets a replacement so they can go on maternity leave the replacement is supposed to FUCK OFF once the maternity leave ENDS." and tim argues "YOU WEREN'T ON FUCKING MATERNITY LEAVE JASON" and jason screams back equally loud "WELL I DISAPPEARED FOR AROUND NINE MONTHS AND THEN SHOWED BACK UP WITH DAMIAN WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" and then tim leaping strikes him off a 6 story building

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

As a reward for helping with a problem, John Constantine wants to give Bruce a chance to talk to his parents. “I can only do one at a time, thought, so, who’s first?”

Bruce sweats, “That won’t be necessary.”

The batkids watch like ??? they’ve seen Bruce in every state a man could succumb and raise, but they’ve never seen him scared. Alfred calmly steps forward, “Please do.”

“No. Don’t.”

John “I don’t want peace, I want trouble, always” Constantine smells some opportunity for chaos and grabs it.

The result of that is the very angry spirit of Thomas Wayne fixing Bruce with the glare of the year, “You dropped oUT OF MED SCHOOL?!” The entire mansion seems to tremble.

Bruce yelps like a scolded cat and runs around the dining table, “I was busy with BATMAN—“

“ Che cazzo è un Batman, — Get back here! You were there a year, — Che cazzo fai, CHE CAZZO FAI?! Pack your bags, you’re going back.”

To the batkids’ absolute horror Bruce starts to cry, face watery and bright, and they finally understand what Alfred meant by tantrums. “Non voglio tornare indietro, papà!”

“Non mi interessa, cazzo, — wait till your mother hears about this, Harley graduated with HONORS. What exemple are you giving to my grandkids? Don’t — Don’t run, GET BACK HERE!”

Tim sweats in high school dropout, Dick sweats in cop, Jason sweats in drug lord, Damian sweats in art kid, and Stephanie just sweats in general.

“Should, uh… Should we help?”

“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen Jason this happy since the Queen died.”

Steph: I’ve come to terms with the fact that my livers are gonna fail by my 30s, but until then I’m gonna enjoy as many painkillers and as much dehydration as possible

Cass: yeah I get that

Steph: you love to drink water

Cass: oh no I wasn’t talking about that, I mean that I’ve come to terms with dying by my 30s

Duke*in passing*: if Bruce hasn’t yet you won’t

continuing my thoughts about the Bats all being in high-stress physical and mental states so whenever they get captured and injected with truth serum/something to make them compliant, it reacts horribly with the nuclear levels of cortisol/stress hormones in their bodies and they just conk out. hard.

and, obviously, fully-unconscious Bats can’t answer questions, which is a big L for Black Mask to take after paying off Scarecrow to develop a truth serum no one can resist (not even the Bat himself)

Okay, but, the GCPD and the Batfamily having a dysfunctional working relationship would be hilarious. Like, the cops know they need the Bats to help keep Gotham’s streets clean, but man, they are fucking troublemakers.

Take Dick, for example. He’s already naturally at home in a police station, so he’ll regularly waltz into GCPD headquarters to give pointers on cases, act as a translator, and will occasionally bring donuts for the night officers. But he’s also been trying to get them to unionize since 2009 and will also unabashedly steal things from the evidence locker. (He always returns it, usually with the adjacent case completed, but it’s a lot of red tape and that’s very annoying.) He also fucks up the coffee machine every time he uses it.

As for Jason… On one hand he is excellent at tracking down perps that have escaped custody or gone to ground. It’s not uncommon for him to pull up with a van full of criminals on the wanted list, which is great… expect for the fact that Jason is also on the wanted list. So whenever he shows up the GCPD cops have to put in effort (minimal as it may be) to try and “capture” the Red Hood so that they don’t get audited by Homeland Security. So now like once a month they have to chase the Red Hood across Gotham proper, because he handed the Penguin into their custody or something, and they have to look good for their bosses—it’s a waste of resources and really fucking annoying, but, hey, they got the Penguin?

Surprisingly, Tim and Stephanie are the most frequent visitors of the GCPD—and they are also the most dreaded. Because Tim is a plucky little know-it-all, but also he can and will update their entire database in a single night and will, at random, solve a cold case they’ve been sitting on for 20 years. The problem is that he’s just fucking annoying about it, and every other week he’ll break into the vending machine to steal the energy drinks—that shit is impossible to get replaced. And Steph? She’ll talk the ears off the night shift and get everyone off task, because they’re busy gossiping about the accounting department in the Manor’s office and planning a prank war on the fire department.

You would think Cassandra would be everyone’s favorite because she’s quiet and much less destructive then her siblings, but you’d be wrong—Cassandra is an absolute menace and the night shift workers have spent years trying to prove it. She will sneak up behind people, leave random pebbles in people’s shoes, and will put googly eyes on anything she touches. The day shift thinks the night officers need to chill because, “isn’t she the chill one?” (No. No she is not. None of the Bats are chill.)

And then there’s Damian. As Robin, the closest he usually gets to the GCPD is through Batman, via his consultations with Commissioner Gordon. But on the rare occasions he’s permitted inside the GCPD, he is dotted on extensively by the officers. He’s deadly and abrasive but they love him. They give him candy and head pats and let him use the sketch-artist supplies to do drawings, which they religiously pin to the break room refrigerator. Damian will pretend to despise this despite the fact that he so clearly loves it.

Lastly, there’s Duke. As the only day shifter, he’s widely considered to be the most well adjusted and relatable Bat. Half a year into his tenure as Signal, he’s on a first name basis with half the GCPD, has his own locker and fridge space for his lunchbox, a coffee mug with his logo on it is kept in the break room, and he’s already been nominated for Employee of the Year despite the fact that he does not actually work for the GCPD. The night shift refuses to accept that he is real.

A Robin lineup of sorts :) (sorry for no Carrie, Maps or Matthew... I was tired)

pspsps batfam fans, come get your dose of batfam sibling betrayal.

Based on [this] post by @justmythoughts-j !

I cant help but doodle this. I find it funny c’: Also tried drawing Tim with longer hair for funsies.

Based on [This] video :)

Batman’s shadow is very helpful

A fun idea popped into my mind.

Batman but his shadows kinda works like Dr. Facilier’s or Peterpan’s ? idk but I just wanna draw Batman and his shadow doing who knows what DSGDSHD

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

i want to believe that the other batboys get so caught up in how damian NEVER acts like a normal child, that whenever they see him engaging in regular kid activities™ everyone is on high alert whilst trying to preserve the moment.

tim's with kon and they walk past jon's room to see him and damian playing toy cars? they start walking faster until they're a safe distance away, to stop in their tracks and share a mutual "what the fuck???"

jason and damian are arguing, something jason says strikes a nerve, and damian just stops and breaks the stoic act. jason has NO clue what to do with himself, because nothing he's ever said has gotten a non-violent reaction out of the kid.

dick's taking damian to the cinemas, and lets him pick what they watch. damian picks a kids movie, and doesn't make comments about it seeming 'childish' or 'boring', instead he looks genuinely interested. dick goes along with it but is really taken aback.

damian's patrolling with the other boys, and sustains a mild injury. everyone's used to him fixing himself up and never making a big deal out of it. they've seen him break bones and refuse medical attention, mainly because of how the league trained him. so when they get back to the batcave, and are all getting fixed up in the infirmary, everyone's shocked when damian, sitting to the side about to patch himself up, starts crying, because he's exhausted and hurt.

whenever the boys see damian asleep anywhere but his room, they make sure to tip-toe past and tell the others not to wake him. usually when this happens it's because he's been so exhausted, that he's sat down to watch a show, been playing with titus, or doing schoolwork, and he's just fallen asleep in the middle of it. afterwards, dick especially, makes sure that damian's sleeping enough, which is hard, because no one can tell that he's tired until he physically passes out.

in batman 2022 bruce wayne's parents were killed in 2001 he would have been like 10? i think. the black parade was released in 2006 when he would have been ambiguously high school aged and obviously very emo and unpopular. what i'm saying here is that i think battinson heard the lyrics "when i was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band he said son when you grow up will you be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and decided to become batman then and there.

"can it be, that you actually CARE about those creatures!? you are just as crazy as they are!"

and yeah, he sure does care. so let me present you, batman n' his 'creatures' aka you become forever responsible for what (who) you’ve tamed.

...

(i remember watching the lock-up ep as a child, and rooting for bruce to save the rogues. i always was a villain-lover type of kid, n' those 3 were one of my fav characters in the whole show, so naturally, i wanted them to be saved. but that aside, it also simply felt idk, ‘right’ for bruce to intervene? at that age, i didn’t fully understand the complexity behind the topic, but it was one of those episodes that stuck with me for years. it’s actually pretty mature for a kid’s show to show smth like that.

i honestly wish, that the ep was fully focused on inmates and/or bruce investigating the abuse vs how it went into bolton kidnapping gordon n’ other folks. but hey, what we got was nice too!  there is something very lovely about the hero protecting their villains from anti-heros/villain-slayers. it’s a thankless job, clearly. but they still put themselves in harm's way, bc they don't approve of the abuse/murder. even if it’s their enemies. *or in some cases* esp if it’s their enemies.

now about the art...

idk, if the first one *the meme itself* was already done for lock-up ep or not. i mean, probably? maybe? either way, if it was done before, now there is another version for it.

n' ah. the second one is kinda just happen'. i was thinking about batman hanging out with every villain, who was in that ep. and how different it would have been, if it was actually about idk, batman, his rogues n' bolton trying to kill/capture them all or smth like that, rather than how it went in canon. anyhow, batman still wins in the end *naturally* and tries bring them all back into arkham, which is.....yeah, it prob will be difficult. mostly bc no one wants to go back lol. harley wants to see her trash man the joker, jon want to gas the city, wesker *actually* wouldn't have minded to go back, but the scareface wanna do crimes. n' bolton doesn't think, that he did anything wrong, so clearly he doesn't wanna be locked up *hehe, get it* with crazies as one of them. so basically, batman's battle for justice slowly turns into pokemon hunt.

in other words, bruce will have a long night ahead of him, with crane yelling into his ear the whole time. f in chat for our man bruce. he really needs it.)

Jason’s housewarming committee (they keep breaking in)

Joker dies bcs during his big dramatic speech of the day he tries to be be all insane and funny by pretending to shoot himself in the head with his BANG! flag gun but he fucks up getting distracted by flirting with Batman and mixes up his guns and he shoots himself in the face in front of the bats. Jason, who was being bodily held back from shooting him himself by Bruce and Dick for the past 15 minutes, laughs so hard he fractures a rib and has to be carried back to the batmobile

i am unironically obsessed with adam west batman not only trying to be a good dad to robin, but actually succeeding. also love robin's insane energy levels and his ability to go from seething bloodlust to manic glee in record time. i think any superman worth his S would fit right into the family ^_^

"well, the laser vision IS a plus, because it's cool watching her set stuff on fire from 50 yards away. and i like that she can fly and get things off of high shelves for me. but those aren't the ONLY reasons why i like her!"

(also i hope you enjoy retro batdad, because that's where my brain's at right now. i'm delighted that starfire's design is already so incredibly 60s; she fits right in 🌠)

Petition for a comic that’s just the Joker vs. a bunch of frighteningly competent normal arse clowns who have gone temporarily vigilante for the sole purpose of taking the Joker down for his repeated violations of the clown code.

Jason, reading a newspaper: "Holy shit. Lex Luthor's name is Alexander? I had no idea..."

Tim: "What, you thought his parents just named him Lex?"

Jason, shrugging: "Well, yeah. Parents are always calling their kids dumb shit. Look at Dick."

Tim: "...You know Dick is short for Richard, right?"

Jason, setting his paper down: "What."

a little comic for jasons birthday. on being robin & batman and being brave & scared

I think more people need to play around with Damian's speech. Don't get me wrong, I love the antiquated Victorian child style of speech, but also he's a teenager that swears plenty in the comics. We really need more scenes like:

Damian: Father, I regret to inform you that I have been assigned in-school suspension for the next three days.

Bruce: What, why?!

Damian: My classmate Kevin was disparaging a female classmate for turning him down, so I called him 'a rizz-less, basic-ass neckbeard bitch' and said I was going to fuck his mom and give her a son she'd actually love.

Bruce: *is completely speechless*

Damian: That is all I needed to tell you. If you will excuse me, I have homework to complete before dinner and patrol.

Jason: “They’re children, Bruce! They shouldn’t be soldiers in your crusade!”

Bruce: “The children, Jason. They yearn for the capes.”