Latest Posts by ursoboring - Page 3

Cody: Don’t worry, I’ve got a few knives up my sleeve.

Anakin: I think you mean cards.

Obi-Wan: He does not.

Cody, pulling out knives: I do not.

Building a Mystery: A Gwynriel Drabble

"Fuck!"

The shout echoed down the hallway, bouncing off the ceiling, and had Nesta and Cassian halting on the way to their chambers in the House of Wind. They eyed each other, both her blue and his hazel filled with suspicion.

"Az, you're doing it wrong."

"I know what I'm doing, Berdara."

"Oh, really? You're putting the D in the C when you're supposed to put the D in the A!"

Cassian choked on a laugh. Nesta quickly covered his mouth, putting a finger over her own as she pressed an ear against the Shadowsinger's door.

"For the last time, the D doesn't fit in the A! It's too tight!" Azriel said, and Nesta could feel Cassian's chest moving with his muffled laughter against her back as he loomed over her to join her in eavesdropping. 

Gwyn groaned. "Cauldron, can't you just squeeze it in?"

A single snort escaped before Nesta could catch it by covering her mouth.

"Gwyn, I'm telling you, it's too tight! If I push too much, it'll snap!"

"It's literally designed to fit! Bang it in! Make it work!"

There was a distinctive creaking followed by a masculine grunt. Then another.

Thud! Thud! Both rhythmic and telling.

Nesta peered up at her mate, who was staring down at her, amusement lighting his gaze.

We should leave them be, she mouthed up at him. He nodded and when they were peeling themselves away from the door, they heard Gwyn yell, "Harder!"

Thud! Thud!

"Just one more good whack, Azriel! Almost there…"

Thud! Azriel grunted and growled...

"Perfect," Gwyn panted out her praise. "Now, was that so hard? And you didn't break it."

Cassian could not hold in his snorting guffaw at that. Nesta smacked him on the shoulder. The noise, both voice and exertion alike, went totally silent.

Love-tapping an apologetic Cassian in the arm again, Nesta cleared her throat and knocked on the door.

"What?" Azriel asked—no, demanded—through the thick wood, his voice full of an annoyance that he usually only had with his brothers.

"You both all right in there? We heard shouts and—" 

With a high-pitched squeal, Gwyn interrupted Nesta. "We're fine! You can go now!"

"You're sure? We heard a lot of racket coming from—"

The door cracked open enough to reveal a shirtless Azriel glistening with sweat, with his arm propped up at the jamb to allow Gwyn to peek through. An equally sweaty and flushed Gwyn. Wearing a rumpled soft cotton shirt and leggings, her copper ponytail was half undone, as if she'd spent half a day flying high over Velaris.

Nesta smiled softly. She wasn't sure what was going on with them—if they'd gotten their shit together and stopped pretending they weren't perfect for each other—but she was happy for them. 

Gwyn brought out a side of Azriel rarely seen. A teasing playfulness that had only been reserved for a select few. He laughed now—a lot. And it seemed her friend Gwyneth Berdara had been making it a personal mission, a daily quota, to pull as many smiles and laughs as she could. 

Azriel pushed Gwyn in the best possible way. Their equally competitive asses always found something to bet on. And not once had Gwyn backed down, accepting everything he threw at her. Once when Nesta had asked Gwyn about Azriel and their relationship, she merely said, We're just friends, Nesta. Really good friends. He makes me feel safe.

Nesta had taken that moment to offer her observation. I see the way you two look at each other, Gwyn. It's more than friends. You two are just too scared to admit it.

In her typical unruffled Gwyn fashion, she'd brushed Nesta off. 

But now, staring at her two friends, sweat-dappled and red with exertion, she wondered if they had finally taken a new step.

"There. Proof of life," Azriel grumbled. "Satisfied?"

Nesta's smile curled up on one side. "For now." Turning her attention to the redhead tucked beneath the Shadowsinger's powerful arm, she asked, "We were concerned with all the yelling. What were you up to?"

"We were building bookshelves," her friend returned a little too quickly.

"Building bookshelves? Is that what you are calling it these days?"

"Good for you, Az," Cassian chimed in. "Nes and I built a whole damn library last night, too."

Azriel's forehead made a thud as it met the door. 

Nesta turned and punched Cassian in the shoulder at the same time as Gwyn. 

"Fuck that hurts! But nice form," the giant Illyrian baby said as he rubbed his arm.

Gwyn's sweet face tilted up to Azriel's and dipped in the barest nod. With a sigh, he moved aside and swung an arm toward the inside of his personal space.

Chaos.

Absolute chaos.

A mess.

Papers and boxes and tools were strewn about. Piles and piles of books. And behind it? 

Two tall bookcases; one empty and one now full. And Nesta couldn't help but notice the titles were mostly…romance and adventures.

Some of Gwyn's absolute favorites.

"Gwyn likes to read in here," Azriel explained, clutching his neck at the nape.

"I just like your chair."

His lips twitched. "So, I wanted her to be able to come in here to read whenever she wants without having to lug up her favorite books every time." He featured with disdain to the bookshelves. "I had to buy those from a store and put them together. I'd rather have made them from scratch, but with the missions—"

Gwyn's hand took his, lacing them together. She squeezed. "It's perfect, Shadowsinger."

He offered a small smile and Nesta swore Azriel was blushing as he said, "You deserve more than labeled pieces of cheap wood, Berdara. I promise I'll build you something nicer."

And Nesta watched as Gwyn bounded over the debris to show off her present, Azriel right there to make sure she didn't impale herself on any tools. The shadows swathing around them, serene and lingering, as if they too could see the change before them.

Cassian took Nesta's hand as they relished in their dear friends' happiness and excitement. 

Yes, those two were indeed building something.

My 9 yo brother is LOSING HIS MIND watching AotC. Anakin's attempts at flirting have him howling with laughter, and he's more invested in the bonker sky chase than in any battle so far. Proving once again the Prequels are very enjoyable to their intended audience - kids.

“Ahsoka Tano. Youngest of three, parents long gone, raised mostly by her brothers. Last year of high school, varsity lacrosse, uh… no priors, just some traffic violations.”

“Any idea what she was doing near the crime scene?”

“Victim was a friend of hers, looks like.”

“Can we question her?”

“She refuses to talk without one of her brothers. She’s a minor, so it’s probably easier to wait on them.”

“How old?”

“The younger is mid-twenties, but I doubt he’s coming. Looks like he’s on the other side of the country, has toddlers, that sort of thing. The elder is about an hour and a half away, teaches biology at a community college. He is also twenty-one years her senior, so I’m guessing he’s more of a parent than a sibling, and he’s the one she called. Said he’s on his way.”

“Bit of a gap, there. Adopted, or were the parents just taking their time, do you think?”

“Um… anyway, I heard he’s bringing his ex-wife. A lawyer, apparently.”

“Still on good enough terms? Fancy that. Well, see if you can set up a rapport before the brother arrives. I’ll see what we have on the lawyer.”

“She’s a partner at Kryze & Organa, sir. She’s Kryze.”

“…well, I’ll do what I can to prepare.”

I am now incredibly angry this didn’t happen

imagine a Clone Wars episode/arc where a criminal is hired to dig up dirt (real or imagined) on the Jedi so they’re expelled or fall out of favor with the Chancellor or something

but like the investigator/criminal gets inVeStEd

“what do you MEAN Windu has never taken a day?? in his Jedi career?? someone teach this man SELF CARE”

“what do you MEAN General Kenobi would have left the order for Satine Kryze??? and they haven’t seen each other in over seven months?? do I NEED to wreak havoc on Mandalore so you can get thee to her, ginger-in-chief?”

“what do you MEAN Yoda’s apprentice fell to the dark side? what absolute madman does that to a liddle green bloke?”

“I have a bad feeling about exposing any of General Skywalker’s private life… as in… imperially bad feeling… I think he needs some blankets and maybe calming herbal teas”

“boss I’m sorry Commander Tano has done nothing wrong in her life ever”

HOT TAKE:  Aayla Secura was being prepared to be a future Council member.  In the scenes that aren’t direct Council chambers meetings, she’s frequently there with the other Jedi Masters to strategize, with a consistency that no other Jedi are (Luminara, for example, doesn’t get the same amount of appearances). Almost every scene is one where they could have easily added in another Jedi Council member, they could have added Shaak in for her in almost every scene, they could have added Saesee, they had models for both of those characters.  And it’s not that she’s giving a mission report that’s unique to her, she’s just there, as a presence, consistently, as part of even the most sensitive missions. SO, I AM FULLY CONVINCED AAYLA SECURA WAS BEING PREPARED AS A FUTURE JEDI COUNCIL MEMBER AND I LOVE THAT FOR HER BECAUSE SHE ABSOLUTELY DESERVES IT, AAYLA IS KIND AND COMPASSIONATE AND GETS SHIT DONE AND TEACHES AHSOKA AND PUTS HER LIFE ON THE LINE FOR THE CLONES AND CARES DEEPLY ABOUT PEOPLE. /THIS IS AN AAYLA SECURA STAN ACCOUNT JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING

I’m screaming this is so freaking cute

Gwynriel Headcanons: Cozy & Festive ❄️🌲

A/N: I finished Dash&Lily on Netflix and now I'm watching Love Actually. Grab a cup of cocoa and read some heartwarming Gwynriel headcanons

Gwyn gets really into knitting. She's naturally crafty & good at everything.

Nesta, Cass, Emerie and Az wearing gorgeous knit sweaters

Azriel asking if she knows how to make mittens too because his hands get cold 🥺

Gwyn making a matching set of mittens & a beanie for Azriel and Azriel ONLY

Az proudly wearing his Berdara bespoke and looking like a cozy sexy hunk

the rest of IC getting super jealous (as they should)

Midnight flying trips to see the festive faelights decorating Velaris.

Gwyn's beaming smile & wide-eyed awe. Azriel's soft eyes and secret smiles staring at Gwyn's face. It's prettier than the lights.

Late-night hot cocoa and deep intimate conversations. Extra marshmallows and whipped cream for Gwyn, of course.

Azriel getting a hot cocoa mustache

Gwyn: "Shadowsinger, have you ever thought of growing out your beard a little?"

Gwyn, mumbles: "You'd look hot with scruff."

Az:  "What was that?"

Gwyn: "Nothing." 😳

Azriel tells Gwyn all about the IC’s Solstice traditions and the snowball fight

Azriel trying to be suave and cool casually bragging about all his wins to impress Berdara

Gwyn totally amused that he’s being cocky knowing damn well he lost last year

Gwyn teasing Az about his crushing defeat, being a stubborn sore loser, and this silly cocky attitude.

Azriel: 😑

Gwyn: "So is your goal this year just to win or total annihilation?"

Total annihilation, obviously.

Gwyn and Azriel spend the week before the snowball fight perfecting his plan to completely wreck Rhys & Cass. They devise snow density ratios, sphere-forming techniques, psychological analysis of Cass & Rhys' strengths and weaknesses

Azriel: "I surveyed the ground. The best vantage point is beside the pine tree. The snow fort should be approximately this meters tall..."

Gwyn: "Cassian has a height advantage for throwing. Rhys is shorter which is better for dodging. Cass is more easily provoked. If they start attacking each other you can use the overhand technique...

He wins. Thank you, Gwyneth Berdara.

The cold and stormy weather makes training a little harder than usual. One night, they're dripping in rain. The floor is slick and they end up falling and wrestling on the ground. Cue intense sexual tension and a dramatic stare into each other's eyes.

The nights when it's unbearably cold they stay inside just talking or reading with each other

Azriel has a humongous and cozy blanket. Gwyn loves it and looks positively adorable all snuggled up.

For some reason, they can always fall asleep when they're near each other. For some reason, they always wake up leaning against each other on the sofa. One particularly cold morning, they wake up spooning. But they're just friends, of course.

Gwyn's cold breath forming small clouds and Az's shadowing swirling around it. Curious, innit?

Azriel looking devilishly handsome in a black cashmere turtleneck

Snowflakes in Azriel's hair

Gwyn's freckled nose and cheeks tinging rosy red

Gwyn absentmindedly humming Solstice choir music and old festive songs

Gwyn, Azriel, Nesta and Cassian decorating the House of Wind with garlands, lights, holly, and evergreens.

Nesta and Cassian kissing under the mistletoe. Then, making out under the mistletoe.

Azriel catches clumsy Gwyn from falling while putting up lights

Cassian breaking a box of ornaments and Nesta shouting at him

Gwyn and Cassian wrapping themselves in tinsel

Nesta: "Where did they get bells?!?!"

Azriel: *exasperated sigh*

Gwyn and Cass: *jingle jingle* Okay let's try running faster! *jinglejinglejinglejingle*

The gang traveling to Illyria and surprising Emerie. They decorate her shop and share some mulled wine and peppermint tea.

The girls build Frosty the Snowbat. It's quite impressive and large. It’s modeled after Az’s wingspan…for reasons

The gang makes a point to give back and donate food, clothes, and toys (because a certain High Lord can't be bothered to care about his citizens 🙄) #sorrynotsorry

Gwyn organizes a children's choir in the village. Nesta gives dance lessons. Chef Cass makes a feast. Emerie gives out gifts. It's an Illyrian celebration spectacular!

Azriel helps all of them. He's quite popular with the kids. He's the baritone in Gwyn's choir.

The show is a rousing success and their singing earns a standing ovation

Gwyn knows a recipe to make what are essentially fireworks (the evil lightsinger knows how to make evil colorful lights in the sky OooO she's so dangerous)

Azriel doesn't want Gwyn to get burned. He flies them up into the sky and uses his shadows to help set them off. It's bright and magical. Everyone is in awe, especially, Gwyn.

She thanks him for his help and they share a sweet moment under a snowy tree hidden from everyone.

Azriel the Illyrian Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.

Gwyn jumping into Azriel arms excitedly to hug him every time she greets him (she's really cheery around the holidays and he’s always super warm)

Both of them savoring in each other's warmth and lingering in their embraces

Frosty but sunny morning trips into town for holiday shopping for all their friends.

Gwyn is a beautiful writer and makes her own cards. She writes the most loving and heartfelt notes inside. She brings Nesta and Emerie to tears. Cassian is choked up and practically squishes her.

Azriel is stunned and so moved that he can't form words and his chest feels funny. He waits until they are alone. He doesn't know what to say so he just hugs her for a very long time. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her how grateful he is for their friendship (oh these sweet idiots)

Despite the freezing cold, this holiday season feels warm. They feel the joy, they feel cared for, they feel loved. The long cold nights feel less lonely with each other.

Who else feels warm and fuzzy? already working on a part 2 ☺️

Actual friendly reminders:

Gwyn was the first person to bring up the Valkyries. Without her knowledge, the Valkyries wouldn’t have re-emerged.

It was thanks to her friendship bracelets (blessed by the Mother) that Nesta, Emerie and her found each other in the Blood Rite and won.

It was thanks to her research on the ribbon that they were able to become Valkyries officially. In fact, Gwyn was the first to cut it thus becoming the first Valkyrie of the new generation.

Gwyn’s impact in ACOSF is bigger than people give her credit for. She’s not an irrelevant character at all.

You know what? I want Valkyrie shenanigans. Give me Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn debating if - no, not it - how long it would take to suffocate a man with their legs. Straight up, manslaughter by the power of thighs, and spite alone. 

Nesta is out of the running because Cassian distracts her too much. Emerie obviously would rather do something else with someone else. Gwyn is too competitive to let this go and she is a woman of science - she needs to know. 

Cassian snorts and tells her “good luck” - not quite picking up the chaotic determination she has. Enter Azriel, who agrees to be her sparing partner, and when she asks if she can try a new move, for curiosity sake, he allows it. He does not know what he is signing up for and his shadow didn’t snitch on their favorite girl. 

She’s pulling some Natasha Romanoff shit. 

Em and Nes find them in a very suggestive position but Gwyn is gleeful to have Azriel’s head locked between her legs, and she’s so close to literally sitting on is face, and she’s squealing. “ONE MINUTE AND THIRTY-SIX SECONDS! THIRTY-SEVEN! THIRTY-EIGHT…” 

He’s NOT tapping out - he’s not going to admit defeat - but he’s turning blue and he’s slapping her knee as he’s biting back whatever he wants to say. 

Cassian is standing behind them, shell shocked. Of ways to go, Azriel, is this really it, you kinky son-of-a-bitch?! Gwyn is so delighted to have this man on the brink of death - and Azriel is too stubborn to admit it. 

He’s literally flapping around like a fish out of water. He’s struggling and she’s not letting up. At this point, Emerie and Nes are blockading Cassian who’s pretty sure Azriel is too dumb to admit he’s out breath. The Valkyries want to see this through. 

Gwyn’s weakness? Tickling - and she’s screaming as he found her weak spot. She tumbling off him, crying in laughter, and he gasping for air, blue in the face. He’s glaring at the audience and basically same energy as this. 

Cassian: boob is too funny......tit is too aggressive.....breast is too formal.....

Azriel: it’s seven in the morning

It's hilarious to me when people complain about AO3 and its policies, and what they allow on the site - but it's ESPECIALLY funny when people complain like "Why can't the freaks make their own site and just go there?"

Sweetie... AO3 is the site for that. Y'all invaded our space.

Wattpad and FFN still exist. Go there. They're as shitty and G-rated as you want. You can't have the luxuries that AO3 offers if you're gonna be a little bitch about its policies. Imagine walking into a strip club and complaining about the alcohol and naked ladies when there's a god damn Dennys next door you could have gone to. Christ.

Okay so I’ve had the Gwynriel head canon for a while and I need to share it.

Imagine it’s “Family Dinner” for the IC and gang and they’re down at the River House

I mean everyone is there, including Lucien and Varian

(for the sake of the story and the fact that I’m a huge Elain/Lucien shipper let’s say they are together at this point)

They’re all eating and all of a sudden Feyre turns to Azriel

She then says “Hey Azriel, there is this girl in my art class”

(at this point the rest of the table shuts up real quick)

She then, with the help of Rhys, tells him all about this girl who they think is just perfect for him

But what no one at the table knows is that he’s been seeing Gwyn for almost a year (they swear they didn’t mean to make it a secret, it just kinda happened)

And Azriel has to tell them “she sounds great but I’m actually already seeing someone”

Dead silence

Then the room ERUPTS

(Let’s remember, Azriel only had feelings for Mor for 500 years, then another women who was unavailable. And this friend group also has absolutely no concept of privacy, so this would be big news.)

Cassian and Rhys are trying to be calm but they are effectively losing their minds

Mor is just grinning and hammering him with questions

As is Feyre

He eventually agrees to bring her to Family Dinner™️ the next time they all get together

So the next day he tells Gwyn

She is understandably very nervous, but excited to officially meet everyone

(Of course she already knows Nesta and Cassian, and she’s met Mor a few times. She met the rest of his family very briefly at Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony but that’s it.)

She then insists they have to go shopping so she can find something to wear, since all she has is her priestess robes and training leathers, she also has that dress she wore to Nesta’s mating ceremony but she’s meeting her partner’s family, it’s a special occasion

And it’s not like she can go with Nesta or Emerie without raising alarm bells

So Azriel goes with her

And she has to look perfect, she insists she can’t overdress and she certainly can’t underdress, not when she’ll be dining with the High Lord, High Lady, and the Morrigan

So she eventually finds this dress that she thinks is just perfect

She tries it on and shows Azriel and he is blown away

“You look so beautiful Gwyn”

He says a bunch of other cute shit

Needless to say she buys it and heads back to the House of Wind with Azriel

The day of the dinner, Gwyn is surprisingly calm

Azriel on the other hand is freaking out

I mean he is so nervous

He knows he is in love with Gwyn, the way he feels about her doesn’t even come close to how he felt about Mor or Elain

And she’s about to meet his family

When they get to the River House, they’re the last to arrive

They stand outside together for a moment, Gwyn can tell he’s nervous

She comforts him somehow idk

They walk in, hand-in-hand and are greeted by a grinning Rhys and Cassian standing in the entry way (á la Cassian and Azriel meeting Feyre in ACOMAF)

And Cassian busts out laughing

Rhys just stares, eyes wide

Once Cassian recovers, he says “Oh Nesta is gonna be so pissed I found out before she did”

Rhys, ever the gentleman, steps forward and shakes Gwyn’s hand, introducing himself

They chat for a few minutes before heading into the living room, where everyone else is

Nesta is the first to see them

She looks right at Gwyn and says “oh you bitch”

After somewhat awkwardly introducing Gwyn to everyone, they all sit down for dinner

The group grills Gwyn with questions

They chill out after Gwyn says something that has Azriel burst out laughing

Long story short they all end up loving her and are very happy for the couple

And if they notice his shadows are more lively around her, they don’t say anything

I have so many Gwynriel headcanons so let me know if anyone wants more

Anakin requests hard copies of his casualty reports after every campaign. Rex hand-delivers them and watches the General disappear into his quarters - it will take him 20-30 minutes before he’s ready to transmit anything to the council or senate. For two years, Rex doesn’t think much of the little routine.

Then the Resolute is ambushed during Skywalker’s prep time. The General bursts out of his quarters and asks Rex to finish up the transmission while he joins the dogfight outside.

On his desk, the casualty report. Beside each CT number on the list, in bunched, angular handwriting, is each clone’s name. This is the sheet going straight to the senate - perhaps the only legal document on which their actual names would ever be found. Skywalker immortalizing them in the only way he can.

Rex completes the list in his own sharp scrawl. It sends successfully, and he and the General never discuss it. But when he can, Rex hangs in the hall outside Skywalker’s quarters after delivering the reports, guarding the sacred space. It’s never lost on him - this may be the closest thing to a funeral the fallen 501st will get.

I love the relationship between Nesta and Azriel so much. They are so parallel to each other and the endless patience and maturity Azriel directs towards Nesta is refreshing, especially considering how all the characters (including her mate and sisters) were so emotionally ignorant and unaware.

When it was said that:

Azriel never said a bad word about Nesta. Never seemed inclined to start a fight with her.

I knew that they would be close for a long time. But more importantly, the fact that his kindness wasn’t just a new development in ACOSF but was his standard way of interacting with Nesta from the start.

Almost everyone in the IC approached Nesta poorly or with questionable intent or bad mouthed her amongst themselves. Rhysand and Mor would often insult Nesta behind her back (though Feyre actually did reprimand Rhysand that one time) and even Cassian judged her the first moment he saw her.

But never Azriel. Azriel who saw Nesta and never said anything cruel to or about her. Azriel who never saw the point of fighting with her. Azriel who really saw her and treated her with the respect and patience she deserved.

Notice how throughout the entire series, the only amicable relationship Nesta had (besides Amren…and only up to a point) was with Azriel. One thing about Nesta is that she never starts fights but she will stand her ground and finish them. Every interaction between her and the IC is her defence or retaliation to the wrongdoings done by others. Hence her good relationship with Azriel.

I hope to hear more about them in the next books. I think Azriel could teach his court a few things too.

The Bat Boys would be Swifties

Considering that nautolans can sense pheromones do you think that Kit Fisto walked past Anakin and Padme and decided that Obi-Wan can address that mess.

jedi council disciplinary conference

tags @sleepdeprivedstuff @vanilla-chip-101 @penguinkiwi

Okay but Haja is such a good twist.

Because we're set up with: ah, here is the comic relief bad guy. He's faking being a Jedi, he's scamming people. Oh ho he had the Jedi right in front of him he could have been rich!

But nope. Yes he's taking credits, but he is helping the mother and child get off world.

And he doesn't set up Obi-Wan when he tells him about a ship.

He literally goes in front of an Inquisitor playing Jedi.

Usually characters like this are set up as cowards, but he's not.

In fact when Obi-Wan holds him up I'm pretty sure the reason he helps isn't the blaster on his chest but Obi-Wan telling him there's a girl who's kidnapped.

He's using the Jedi as a symbol of hope to draw people to him because he does seem to want to help, but he's not selfless he probably needs credits to run his operation.

The Show has shown us Obi-Wan is at rock bottom and the universe has kicked him in the face, but he keeps meeting people who are so brave, who help him inadvertently like the girl who gives him spice, and overtly like Haja.

Obi-Wan can't be Obi-Wan Kenobi for the universe right now.

So others have to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. Others have to be brave and stick out their necks and help people.

Like yes, we had our sad Obi-Wan in the desert moment. Loved that.

Now we're getting Obi-Wan with hope restored.

But to do that he has to let go of his attachment to the past. To his grief and guilt and Anakin.

Krell: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Fives, Jesse and Hardcase: I will politely decline.

dude waxer deserved better. i hope theres a universe where waxer is living on ryloth with that little twileck girl and boil

Star Wars: The Clone Wars Characters as Tumblr Text Posts

Obi-Wan Kenobi:

Anakin Skywalker:

Ahsoka Tano:

Padmé Amidala:

Cody | CC-2224:

Rex | CC-7567:

Fives | CC-5555:

Hondo Ohnaka:

Maul Opress:

"Luke's goodness is Padme's legacy in him"

No. This is an oversimplification. Luke is what Anakin maybe could have been if he wasn't subjected to trauma and abuse and groomed by a Sith Lord while growing up! Anakin in TPM was so warm and genuine and incredibly altruistic, and that! Is how Luke is!! Force power and piloting ability are not the only things Luke inherited from his father; Luke gets his goodness from BOTH his parents (and we also can't discount the influence of Owen and Beru here!). In fact, I would argue that the goodness in Luke that comes from Anakin is crucial to the resolution we get in ROTJ because it is Luke who shows Anakin he doesn't have to be evil anymore!

Padme: You're annoying.

Anakin, in his head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

QUICK ANAKIN HEADCANNON / HOTTAKE

He can’t read or write in basic.

As Anakin grew up on Tattooine, the most important language was Huttese as the Hutts controlled Tattooine. He could speak, read and write Huttese easily, everything was in Huttese. As bounty hunters, sailors and others came through speaking Basic he started to pick up on it, especially as Watto and his mum could speak Basic. His mum Shmi picked up on his interest and started teaching him. Only one problem, she can’t read or write in basic either, and she can’t send a slave to school.

Fast forward to Anakin becoming Obi-Wan’s Padawan, Obi-wan taught him theory by speaking. As a pawawan himself he hated it. So Anakin had no reason to learn how to write. He would read all his books after they were translated into Huttese.

Again Fast forward to the Clone Wars and the never ending paperwork. Anakin was known as the general who didn’t do paperwork. The council and the senate wanted the paperwork in Basic, and basic only. Any paperwork he did was first done in Huttese and translated digitally. New problem Rex wanted to do his paperwork with Anakin, to see why he didn’t do it by himself. Rex pasted him some of his paperwork and asked Anakin to read it over. Anakin sat there staring at the odd symbols before telling Rex he can’t read. Let’s just say Anakin almost cried.

Ahsoka somehow fount out (it helps to be a sister to the clones) and would constantly ask how come he couldn’t read, and word reach Obi-Wan who immediately felt awful for not teaching him how to read. Eventually Rex and Padmé taught him, however Anakin was embarrassed by not knowing how to read (or write) would by rude to Padmé and Rex. At the end of the clone wars he can write, read and speak in basic.

One day Yoda tells him he doesn’t know how to read or write in basic as well

Windu: ‘Anakin is cute’ ‘Anakin is an amazing Jedi’ blah blah

Windu: Anakin is a whore and that’s it.

okay but imagine its a normal day on coruscant but similar to real life there is a paparazzi and someone happens to get pictures of anakin and padme and the holonet does a backflip

suddenly EVERYONE is talking about anakin and padme, padme and anakin, jedi and senator... and the jedi council is completely uprooted from the inside out. What are they supposed to do? they have to kick anakin out

but then the holonet supporters start to... actually like anakin and padme. it is fanpage after fanpage and positive tweet after another. its an insane chain of people stanning these two coruscant kids because they are now the cutest couple of the holonet.

AND THEN the jedi council comes out with a statement that basically says, "yeah we might kick anakin off the jedi order" and the entire universe RIOTS. protesters outside the temple, advocates take to the streets, speeches are made, etc, etc... its all coming to a head.

AND WHAT MORE? anakin "dramatic" skywalker here is basically bathing in the beauty of this and is over his snit he was in -over the fact that someone snitched (;D)- and now is actively showing up at the rallies and holding up signs that say "at least someone loves me" in bright pink lettering. at one he shows up with a sign that says "if u kick me out i join the separatists bet" accompanied by a poorly drawn image of anakin as a sith- ironic- and he has a jar and people donate 10,000 credits for the hell of it.

well nOW THE COUNCIL IS LIKE UH. They have the biggest coruscant uprising in the history of the galaxy because the stans and fangirls are flocking to support hot jedi anakin skywalker on his quest to be better than the jedi council.

well the council leads a vote, with mace leading the "kick him out" side- he wants to see if anakin actually goes dark side- and obi-wan leads the "keep him in" side. and by one vote, obi-wan swings the election and anakin is allowed to stay.

THE PEOPLE CELEBRATE. everyone basically got what they wanted in the first place save the select few that wanted to see anakin go to the separatists- because honestly, its been long enough of a war, right?- and anakin's first thing he does is marches the 501st out of the jedi temple in a parade with a sign that says "IM GOD NOW" because seriously, he has everyone on coruscant in a chokehold with his influence.

oh, and the "paparrazi" that took the photo? it was obi-wan.

au where anakin raises his kids in complete secret. but- BUT- they still live on coruscant. with padme.

no one knows who the father of the amidala- cough cough SKYWALKER- twins is, and some conspiracy theorists come up with a few names- rush clovis, bail organa, hell, they even throw obi wan in there. a few even throw anakin's name out, but after a short disappearance by them, they say, shakily, that theyve changed their mind.

however, the jedi council starts to figure out one by one that anakin is the father. its starts with obi-wan, who knew it from day one. then yoda finds out because anakin mutters under his breath, "i have kids to take care of, man" when confronted with a mission. plo koon finds out when he sees anakin leaving padmes place with a photo of his kids. it goes through the entire council like, this, but no one mentions it. they all think they're the only ones to know

and they dont even say anything! some of them start leaving anonymous packages with little care items at anakin or padmes door and some place small notes under anakin's doorframe. the entire jedi council (and also the entire 501st, who has known since the beginning) is acting like a daycare center for the skywalker twins. this is mostly because anakin goes six days without sleeping and is tired all the time

so 95% of the jedi council knows, and guess who doesnt? mace "HES TOO DANGEROUS TO BE LEFT ALIVE" windu is completely oblivious and all he thinks of anakins condition is "karma, bitch"

but one day anakin stumbles into the jedi council room, barely functioning, running on four hours of sleep for a week, and he says "im out. kick me out of the order. i have two kids and a wife and i feel like im about to collapse. i dont care anymore. kick me out. i can get a job on the streets. sorry"

AND MACE IS LIKE "skywalker, take a seat- WHAT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING NAME OF THE FORCE DO YOU MEAN? GET OUT! YOURE OFF THIS COUNCIL AND OUT OF THE ORDER!!"

but tHEN every single jedi in the room shouts, at the same time, "NO!" and they all look at each other, and at the same time, ask, "you knew too?"

mace is completely stunned as the jedi start being like "oh yeah i was giving him the anti depressants what were you sliding under his door?" "i was the one giving him the aspirin" "obi wan was definitely giving him the kindness notes"

despite the fact that this is NOT the jedi way, they agree to keep anakin in the order, take him off the council, and actually pay him someting better and give him a little bit less missions ("ANAKIN AND OBI WAN ARENT THE ONLY JEDI WE HAVE, GUYS")

mace is in shock and actually tries to bring it before the senate but bail organa is chancellor and hes like "lol nope those are my god children" and he files the complaint case back away.

honestly Anakin and Padmé’s secret marriage has so much comedy potential and TCW did not take advantage of that at all

I’m talking ridiculous sitcom hijinks

Anakin diving out of Padmé’s high rise Coruscanti apartment in his knickers to avoid getting caught

Padmé sneaking into the Temple to hang out with her husband, gets caught by some random Jedi, claims she’s there to meet... uh... Master Yoda??? Gets roped into having tea with him for the next 4 hours

They get sent on some diplomatic mission together... (with Ahsoka maybe?). it all goes tits up as per usual... they *have* to kiss to avoid getting caught. they get super into it. Ahsoka coughs loudly like “the bad guys have been gone for five minutes”

Someone asks Anakin why he’s visiting Padmé’s apartment. he claims he’s there to fix her washing machine. Ends up doing odd jobs for every single resident of 500 Republica to keep his cover

I think Anakin and Padme deserve to Stay Besties in any AU that isn't Anidala specifically because their love languages are absolutely buckwild and insane to almost anyone else, but match up to each other pretty perfectly, which means that if they aren't dating each other, they are the exact right person to have egging the other on and enabling whatever unhinged bullshit they're planning on doing in the name of romance.

Anakin thinks he needs to serenade his partner? Padme hires him an orchestra.

Padme wants to meet daringly under the cover of night with her new secret lover because that's the only right way to do it? Anakin is staging a kidnapping for her, zero questions.

Anakin is swooning over how his love interest was kissing him! but it was actually lips-to-leg attempts to suck out the venom of a bad bite (something you're not even actually supposed to do, but hey, the Force slowed his heart down enough that maybe it helped! and he survived anyway, it's fine)? Padme is over the moon for him, that's so romantic!

Their brain cells are so, so allergic to each other. Put them in a room and all common sense flees in the face of "okay, but if I challenge her to a sword fight--" "Padme you can't challenge a Sith to a sword fight." "No no, but if I challenge her and then you swoop in for me as my substitute, and I promise a kiss to the winner and you throw the match--" "Okay I don't want to lose to Ventress but oh my god, I love it."

Move aside, Idiots to Lovers, there's a new ballgame in town!

Friends to Lovers to Idiots