Havent Drawn Them In A While

Have you seen the tiktok going around that's a guy talking to his kids like "The more you sass me, the more I'm gonna flirt with your mother!" That but it's Bruce threatening to leave his comms on deliberately when he's around Selina if the baby bats don't start behaving themselves on patrol.

Bruce: The more you sass me, the more I'm gonna flirt with your parents.

Dick: Jokes on you, I'm an orphan.

Bruce: Alright then.

Bruce: *flirts with Commissioner Gordon*

Bruce: *flirts with Barry*

Bruce: *goes to space*

Bruce: *flirts with Luand'r*

Dick: STOP THOSE ARE MY IN-LAWS!

———————

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: That's it. I've had it with your attitude.

Bruce: *goes out with Lady Shiva*

———————

Bruce: *walks in with a bouquet of flowers*

Luke: Uh... what's all this for?

Bruce: Remember the other week when you called my prototype strobe light batarang stupid?

Luke: ...Because it is?

Bruce: Well, guess what?

Bruce: *gives the flowers to Lucius*

———————

Jason: And what if I don't? What are you gonna do, let me die again?

Bruce: No.

Bruce: *opens Grindr*

Jason: You wouldn't.

Bruce: Oh yes I would.

Bruce: *slides into Ollie's DMs*

———————

Tim: It's a good thing I never introduced you to Bernard's family.

Bruce: I could always look them up in the phone book.

Tim: What year are you living in?

Bruce: I'm just kidding. I'll be back in an hour. Hold down the fort for me, m'kay buddy?

Tim: Yeah, sure.

[an hour later]

Bruce: *walks in holding hands with Lex Luthor and Max Mercury*

Tim: What the...?

Bruce: I still know your best friends' parents.

Lex: This is what you handcuffed me for?

Bruce: Shush, I'm making a point.

———————

Bruce: We go in on my signal.

Steph: This is my dad we're talking about. I'm not gonna sit around and risk him getting away.

Steph: *swings onto the scene*

Bruce: *follows her*

Steph: Stop right there, Cluemaster—BATMAN WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Bruce: *sweeps Arthur off his feet*

———————

Bruce: *lecturing Damian*

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: One second.

Bruce: *pulls out his phone*

Bruce: Hey Talia, I was wondering if you had dinner plans tonight?....Yes, Damian is misbehaving again.....7:30? Perfect!

———————

Duke: You've never met my friends' or girlfriend's parents and Jokerized people can't consent, so...

Bruce: *turns on the computer*

Bruce: *emails the immortal entity Gnomon*

Bruce: *gets a reply*

Bruce: Alfred, fetch my tux.

———————

The voice in Bruce's head: *says mean things*

Bruce: Oh yeah? Well how do you like THIS?

Bruce: *proposes to Selina*

———————

Holly: *flips him off*

Bruce: *proposes to Selina*

Selina: Again? That's the second time today.

———————

Julia: You're nothing a bloody angst-addled egotistical baby twat!

Bruce: *looks at her*

Bruce: *looks at Alfred*

Bruce: This isn't gonna work.

this is canon

Clark Kent: Jon, your mother and I have something important to tell you. I’m… Superman.

Jon, who has read the Percy Jackson series: wait, is that why I have dyslexia? Because my brain is wired for Kryptonese?

Lois, from downstairs: HONEY HOW DO YOU SPELL TACO

Clark, deadpan: no, the dyslexia is from your mother

Bruce: I'd think I would know if Jason was bi

Dick: Like you knew with me?

Tim: Like you knew with me AFTER I kissed Kon on the cheek?

Cass: Like you knew with me when Steph and I started holding hands?

Damian: Father, you may be a detective, but you are oblivious to our personal lives.

Tim: I second that.

Cass: I'm so serious, didn't the black nails gave it away? I could've sworn you walked in on me and Jason doing our nails.

Damian: I thought his two whole boyfriends gave it away.

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Okay, I get it, don't rub it in.

Alfred: Everyone knew, Master Bruce, Jason announced it at the family dinner...two months ago.

What’s with homoerotic comic relationships and this pose

idk if there’s a ninjago office AU out there, but if there is I’d like to think that Kai is just that one guy at his desk that’s always on the phone, doing his nails and talking shit about his coworkers

like all you hear from his cubical is just

“Did you hear about Sarah from marketing? Yeah that bitch is totally preggers now, I shit you not… Who’s the father? That’s the thing, nobody fucking knows”

“F U C K, somebody keeps stealing my Hot Cheetos from my desk whenever I go to the bathroom! I bet it’s Steve, that fucker ”

“Bro, you will not believe who I just caught making out in the supply closet today! It was Jessie and Rebecca! Shoulda saw it coming, honestly, you could cut the sexual tension with a butter knife”

“Duuuuude, just saw Dylan and Brian duke it out in the cafeteria… Yeah, apparently Dylan’s been sleeping with Brian’s wife for like 3 months. Straight people, am I right?”

and the worst part is that he works in Customer Service, so it’s not even someone he knows on the other side of the phone. It’s just some poor person who called because they had a question about the company and now they have to sit there as Kai rattles on about these three hot guys he works with

girlboss x malewife

Goodnight to my favorite Canon couples ❤️🌹™️🦍

Did we all collectively agree that Tim chooses to have a public feud with Red Robin as a way to cover his identity?

___

Reporter, pushing a microphone on RR: What are your thoughts on Tim Wayne's recent kidnapping?

Red Robin, deadpan: He's an asshole cosplaying a feral racoon and whiny bitch.

-Later that day-

Tim, watching the news: Well fuck you too *flips off the TV*

Batfam: *concerned*

___

Bernard, who's publicly in a relationship with Timothy Drake-Wayne, was caught kissing RR on a rooftop. Kon-El, who the world thinks definitely has a thing with RR, was seen carrying Tim back to a penthouse at night.

This leads Gotham city to believe that Tim and RR stole eachother's boyfriend. Thus fuelling another war between RR and Tim on twitter.

It didn't help when a picture of Bernard and Superboy having a date was posted online.

___

Tim: *requested and funded a Red Robin joint to be built in Gotham city *

A video of RR staring at the building offended and distained from across the street went viral.

I just think a holiday romcom movie starring these four would heal me a bit

pjo/hoo/toa + the cycle

The Lightning Thief / Growing Sideways, Noah Kahan / Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan, Ilya Repin + Saturn Devouring His Son, Goya + Saturn, Rubens / The Blood of Olympus / The Family Jewels, MARINA / The Last Olympian / The Sea of Monsters / The Family Jewels / Orestes Pursued by the Furies, Bouguereau / The Hidden Oracle / Apollo and Marsyas, Manfredi / In The Blood, John Mayer / The Sea of Monsters / The Combat of Ares and Athena, Jacques Louis David / The Family Jewels / Mark of Athena / The Combat of Ares and Athena / The Lightning Thief / Family Line, Conan Gray / Cronos and Rhea, Schinkel / The Lightning Thief / The Blood of Olympus / In The Blood / The Last Olympian / Chronos and His Child, Romanelli / Desireé Dellagiacomo / The Lightning Thief / Family Line / The Fallen Angel, Alexandre Cabanel + The Last Day of Pompeii, Bryullov / The Blood of Olympus / The Outcast, Botticelli / Glass, Irony and God, Anna Carson / House of Hades / Family Line / The Last Olympian / The Lament for Icarus, Herbert Draper + Sacrifice of Iphigenia, Roman School + Minerva and Arachne, Houasse + Venus Induces Helen to Fall in Love with Paris, Kauffmann / The Last Olympian / Hadestown / The Lightning Thief / apple, Charli xcx / The Last Olympian / I Would Leave Me If I Could, Halsey / The Sea of Monsters / ? / LET YOUR DAD DIE ENERGY DRINK, Lavery and Corrigan / The Last Olympian / Eat Your Young, Hozier / The Last Olympian / Orpheus and the Bacchantes, Lazzarini / The Blood of Olympus / Susan Smith, wych elm / Orpheus and the Bacchantes / The Burning Maze / ? / The Tyrant’s Tomb / Perseus Freeing Andromeda, Veronese / Abduction of Psyche, Bouguereau + Bacchus and Ariadne, Van Loo / The Tower of Nero / The Tower of Nero / The Tower of Nero

best ships ever