*me, Still Insane* “I Used To Be Sooooo Crazy “

“whats your name?” - call me scooby cus i can’t doo this anymore

bpd culture is they hate me they hate me they hate me i’ve messed up so horribly i can never redeem myself how could they ever still want me around how could they still love me i feel sick i feel sick i feel sick

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It doesn't matter how far I've come, how hard I tried or how much I gave.

At the end of the day I'm just a sad little girl curled up on her bathroom floor wondering why she can't ever be someone's first choice.

Wondering why it never got better like they all said it would.

You know what’s selfish? Breaking someone to the point where they don’t live. Breaking them so bad that they cant be fixed anymore. When they think of life, it’s synonymous to agony. They just survive each day. It’s not selfish to want to end it. It’s liberation from suffering. It’s selfish to do this to someone repeatedly and ask them to stay.

Why should I stay when no ever did.

the worst part of love is that i remember it. i walk around all day thinking: i'm going to die in this universe you loved me in. i get so jealous of euthanized dogs

-june gehringer

Is it even possible for someone to love someone like me?

I never think it’s paranoia.