“When I Get To Hell, Satan Will Throw A Ball At Me.”

"Miss, can you inject insulin into a random person?"

“What a great six! Very sixy!”

-Me, not intentionally making a pun

“Birds do fly, therefore I am a cop. You’re under arrest!”

“No, you are!”

"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"

“Stop sending me memes!”

-My very frustrated computing teacher, who was definitely regretting telling us we were allowed to make memes

“That’s a Cavendish banana, you shithead.”

-me, to one of my closest friends

"My life is just a series of stupid hills!"

“Karl Marx was a frickin’ babe.”

-A very strange person who was once sent the entire communist manifesto and just replied “hot”

That’s the culprit

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

“Need I remind you of your grandmother’s murderous intentions?”

-Me, probably about to get murdered by one of my friends grandmas