Tagged By @vantaerayleigh1997 Okay Here I Am , A Little Late But Anyways..

This is as true as it can ever get... We are nothing but the some of everything around us. Everyone and everything, and how we perceive it.

“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.”

— Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

it gave me chills,

it gave me shivers,

as i write along the lines.

About a guy, whose eyes,

i caught a glimpse of

as they dazed in mine.

wish that moment could stop between us, and age, a little like fine wine...

-mauli

something happened not something new

I saw a boy and he saw me too

our eyes met , not for long

but enough for me to write a song

Why do i write ?

Why am i even here?

Maybe in hope.

Maybe in desperation.

Maybe is anticipation.

Maybe because I'm a little tired every now-and-then.

Maybe because i dream of being heard, just a little, for once.

Maybe i wish, that at least someone would hear a tiny piece of my soul here, and in all anonymity, not judge me for once.

Maybe someone would read me, and not get sad, and not feel guilty, and not feel sorry, and not worry ,just be there.

Maybe that's why this scribbling is sacred. Maybe that's why i keep coming back. Maybe the insecurities i never used to have, maybe my suddenly empty social life, maybe the creepy monotony hands me my pen.

To blurt out a little and to breathe a little. Maybe that's why i write.

Maybe to live a little.

Maybe.

-mauli

Find

Want to find, a heart in brine. As irregular as it goes, but finds symmetry in mine.

Want to find, a brain in pieces , a piece for love and a piece of wise, and takes on them in beautiful leases

Want to find , a hand in action, of kindness to the world yet wanting just a fraction.

7 billion people on this land of god, walking here and there, fully absorbed in ignorance and rush, and I wonder if I'll meet a soul ,for whom my soul is lobbed.. (21.11.19)

Weirdly enough, this is one of my comfort songs.

(turn the music on before reading, you'll get me better)

I listen to it as i imagine him singing it to me.

Holding me carefully, not too little or i might fall apart, not too much or i might break. We sway slowly side to side, in each other's arms, just for a moment passing by, as i shed all my unseen tears. I imagine that he cares, he cares that he never cared for me like i did for him. I imagine him singing this to my poor soul, telling me that he'd only make me cry, because it would make more sense than my idea of "us". We sway with the wind brushing our sorrows away, somehow my sorrow held onto my heart for him and took it away as well. So as long as this song fills the room, we're the only two that exist, only two that matter. And as long as this plays, it matters to him that i never mattered to him as he did to me. He knows, he shows, he sees, he's sorry.

But the song ends, and so does this pitiful fantasy. Reality comes rushing in...

I had him on my mind , ingrained in my brain. I made playlists for him in hopes the melodies might convey a fraction of my affection. I saved posts that i would send him if he was ever mine. I wrote him poems, which were some of my best works. I had a whole digital diary of him, secret albums of pictures of him, especially of ones which i took, if he could see himself through my eyes, him smiling wide with glistening eyes, maybe he would also want to capture and safeguard every nuisance of his beauty; and also, there is that folder of pictures my friends took of us together in one frame, accidentally of course.

I thought of being near him all the time, i thought of his wellbeing, i wished for him to know how perfect he was. Is. And he doesn't know any of this. I had him written all over my life for about an year, and he will have no idea how deep it goes.

He never led me on, he never did anything that would "make" me feel something about him nor did he drop hints that he felt something, he didn't have to, i guess, because i was never delusional, just utterly smitten...

(but then, what business did those eyes have, meeting mine??)

One day, i gave in to this agony and said to him that i liked him, and he said it was ok, i was his friend, this won't change anything. He was the nicest about it. But I still wonder, what if I would have said so much more, only if he could hear so much more... if he could, I'd tell him,

how like is something i did to a stranger at the airport who i talked to for a few minutes,

how like doesn't do justice to the gravity with which i was falling,

how like is what my mouth says, while my heart goes on to describe his beautiful piscine eyes, as the deepest ocean I'd drown in,

how like is what i wished it was, because it wasn't love of course, something less, something very one sided, but something so true.

If only i could tell him, i missed him when he was out of sight or even when he was right in front of my eyes, i fell for his laugh and his smile and his eyes and his lips and his hair and his hands and how he treated everyone respectfully, and his brain, and how he was so in love with his family, and how he was just a beautiful human being...

If i told him, i felt the familiarity of falling the first day i met him, if i told him i never wanted to be just friends, if i told him i would cherish him in every way he deserves...

Would it have made a difference? Would our story have a different ending?

I like to think

no.

I still don't know how to be that for someone else what he was to me.

Was? .... Is?....

no.

For the sake of my damn heart and the amount of love overflowing from it, it should not be an "is".

Was.

"Was" is where it should belong.

So I'll listen to "cry" again and imagine him singing again as we sway back and forth and I'll imagine i cry my unseen tears and pretend that

this is what my closure is.

"Falling moon"

𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕣𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕕𝕣𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕕 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕜𝕪?

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕖 𝕣𝕒𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕖 .

𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕝𝕚𝕡𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟 𝕤𝕟𝕠𝕨,

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕒𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕘𝕠,

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕨𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕒𝕥 𝕝𝕒𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕘𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣,

𝔸 𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕖𝕜𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕚𝕣,

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕚𝕓𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕒𝕥𝕤,

𝔸𝕤 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕤𝕚𝕝𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕠𝕒𝕥𝕤,

𝕎𝕖 𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕤𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕒 𝕧𝕚𝕖𝕨.

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕥, 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦.

As you level up, life gets harder. One step forward and your hard work pays off. If you work, you succeed in the next level. ork now and rest later.......

I try to open my lips, utter a word,

like a million times.

Then I tell myself, "who cares?"

like a million times.

And i try to whine ,infront of myself

like a million times.

Again, i shut up and keep going

like a million times...

-mauli

So these lines are from Beyonce's Halo..

" You're Everything I need and more, it's written all over your face."

I feel like every song I hear has a line that manages to melt my heart... But these are something that gives me a vibe of pure love. I would love to see what you do with them!! If you want I can send you tons more line...

Id love if you sent me more!! This really does give off “rose colored glasses” kind of love. Hope you like this one :)

Writing poems based on lyrics

Day 10

You’re everything i need and more

Its written all over your face

And maybe youll see it too

But how come you never say?

Ive always said my piece

Never hid my feelings away

Thats how i want it to be

Im not here to here to play those games

Before i fall

And break my heart

Tell me you see it too

See how much i love you

Tell me

How much do you want me to

Stay

No pedestal love

No worship or idols

My hearts the prize

So are you going to try

Because baby

I dont need to cheat to win

so far it's just a crush

i wore my favorite cocktail dress; it's

cinderella-blue. remember we were

wedding guests; you were tipsy when

i met you. i collected all my crazy, hid

my flaws from view. but i was caught

red-handed, burning all for you

Pen