New Lesbian Code: Hey, Wanna Split That Cookie?

The bus driver was rude, so I made sure to not say "thank you" as I stepped off. I am the master of revenge.

"I'm not shy, I have social anxiety." -Me to other people "...unless I find you attractive, then yes, I am also shy." -Me finishing the sentence in my head.

I no longer give a fuck about shopping on Thanksgiving. It is a bullshit holiday, used to this day to spread misinformation about the relationship of the U.S. with Natives. I don't really have a fuck to give that people are having dinner today. People have dinner most days, and you either are truly thankful for your family year-round and don't need another genocide cover-up day to spend one or more of the other three hundred and sixty four dinners with the people you're so thankful for, or you're one of the many who have little to no interest in being around your annoying uncle even once a year, in which case, don't. It's not like it makes it easier for damn near everyone to be traveling at once. And to anyone who ironically, and yet so appropriately, gives me shit for buying food and other necessities on Thanksgiving - a Native trying to get food from largely white-owned stores on a day that was supposedly about Natives sharing their food - I only have this to say.

Okay, you know that smug gesture of breathing on your nails and rubbing them against the front of your shoulder? Is there already a word for that as a whole? I've never known, and decided five minutes ago to just call it "lapel buffing" unless someone knows a title that was previously known and widely accepted (relatively speaking).

Most, if not everyone wants and enjoys relationships with others. For many who grew up being abused at the hands of those who were supposed to love them, however, the need for loving attention is both pathologically desperate, and needed for healing. The saddest part of this aftermath is that victims also often gravitate towards the abusers, who are more than happy to take advantage. The fervent need for the time, love, and respect of someone is even harder to attain for those who have been groomed to believe that neglect is normal, abuse is deserved, and basic decency is generous. In those relationships where a decent partner has been found, the formerly abused party is more likely to take the relationship quite seriously - why would their partner treat them with respect and be present unless they deeply loved them? Heartbreak ensues when their partner leaves, and they discover that, even though this person cared for them to some degree, that basic respect was not love, but simply the default behavior of a decent human being. Where it often ends is at the panic and self-loathing which dovetail with abandonment issues that come come crashing back in. We are worth more than this.

"Rich people aren't privileged! People make assumptions about me all the time because I'm rich. My friend even got mugged because they looked rich." This is what you sound like when you say that you don't have white privilege because your life isn't perfect.

"Pretty pretty rainbow!" -Me "YOU'RE a pretty pretty rainbow!" -My S.O.

Alliterative adjective names like "nervous Nellie," but used when someone is flamboyantly displaying their preferences, or acting like their state of being is the universal standard. "Okay, poly Polly." "Whatever monogamous Molly." "Easy there, dominant Dominic."

"Those blankets look like there's a person under them. But my SO is downstairs, so obviously not. They're just lumped in a person-shape. I'm not that paranoid." *stomps on blankets to be sure*

A Reminder About Light Skin Privilege

One term can have different meanings and subtleties across different groups. The term “light skin privilege” carries a particular weight and meaning when used in reference to Native American people.

Between strict blood quantum laws and perceptions, and stereotypes about our looks (must have dark reddish brown skin, long black hair, etc), people are dying to tell us we’re not “real Indians.” We are often clearly spotted as not-white by white people, and treated as such, yet if we don’t meet preconceived notions about our race, we’re “not allowed,” to “claim to be” who we are. This is not only a matter of “acting white,” or people using our light brown skin to say we’re “not Indian enough,” it is also a matter of people frequently using our light brown/ non-white skin to somehow disagree entirely with our factual race. Yes, even some of us who are “full blooded” are told we are not who we are. When something is used to call our existence into question, in a way that is unique to Native American groups, it can be very impactful to say that that trait is a privilege.

There’s certainly common ground between various non-white communities; that said, there’s a lot of nuance to each group’s oppression, and what it means to be part of that group. As a single label can have different connotations depending on who is using it toward whom, we should think twice before using a term of privilege to describe someone from a different oppressed race than our own. In those situations where it is accurate and needs to be said, say it with some indication that you are mindful of those nuances which you do not experience and may not understand.