YOU PLAY WIT YOURSELF 🥺🙏

My oven has given up and is just giving me bullshit times

LMAOOOO

DRUNK PROPOSALS !

ft : miya atsumu, keiji akaashi, oikawa tooru

warnings : satirical mentions of dying, pregnancy, fem reader in atsumu's ( im sorry idk how to execute that idea gender neutrally ?? )

note : reader and boys r already in a relationship, this is ab marriage proposals help

MIYA ATSUMU

KEIJI AKAASHI

OIKAWA TOORU

I WANT HIM

dating lucifer

notes: lucifer is my babygirl

tagging: @belsumu @hoshiikos @silkylious

lucifer doesn't treat you much different publicly when you two start dating

he does dote on you a bit more than he would if you two weren't dating

you're able to get away with a lot more things now though he won't turn a blind eye to shenanigans with diavolo

he's not going to suddenly listen to you when you ask him to take a break but depending on the trust you two have built thus far lucifer will entrust you with certain tasks that he'd normally do himself

asks you to come sit with him in his study just to hear you talk and offer you tea/snacks

always has a hand on you when in public, not suggestively more on the possessive side

he's scaring away lesser demons as well as subtly keeping you close to him, it's a win win

offers you his coat when you two go out and it's a bit cold, he doesn't take it often so accept it before he drapes it across your shoulders himself

he's not very affectionate privately or publicly, if you initiate in public he won't bat you away but he will give you a look to settle down; if you do it in private however he'll reciprocate easily sometimes without even looking up from his work

kisses your hand, cheek and temple fairly often sometimes on autopilot; he does it when he's leaving to go meet with diavolo or to go to a student council meeting that you didn't need to attend as long as it's not in front of his brothers

he doesn't demand your attention, lucifer understands that you can be busy but go too long without talking to him, he'll pull you in his study for as long as you can to sit and catch up essentially

gifts aren't a frequent thing with lucifer but when he gives them you can tell a lot of thought was put into it and he didn't just get it without thinking about if you'd like it or use it

still has plenty of expectations for you but does dial back a little when he sees that you're struggling to keep up and offers his help when he can

please reblog as it helps more than likes do!

OKAY! Lemme getttt our boy from FD3 Ian! I am thinking something like fem! afab! reader works with him, late night they close up the hardware store and afterwards end up hooking up in his ride in the parking lot. Just been co-workers a loooong time and the tension finally becomes too much, always had a fun jokey kind of relationship and after like months they finally hook up, rushed and messy but satisfying sex, any kinks you can think of slapping in there, IF YOU PLEASE! Tysfm.

BEX BEX BEX! here is my first request out of a BUNCH and it was such a good one! I love Ian and I have got to write for him more, so thank you for giving me a chance to write some smutty smutty filth for him! I hope you love it!!!

Ian McKinley x Fem!AFAB!Reader

WORD COUNT: 3019

WARNINGS: nsfw, car sex, weed, friends to lovers, banter baby, unprotected sex, oral (amab receiving), riding/cowgirl, dirty talk, slight degradation?, slight praise, implication of more sex, shitty humor bc it's me, not proofread

“You shoot that bird and I shoot you, McKinley.” Ian scoffs, putting the nail gun down. He looks down at you and you have your hands on your hips and a scowl on your face. He makes a show of putting it down onto the shelf before making his way down the ladder. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, I only did it because I know you’d actually shoot me,” He says, hopping off of the last rung and turning to face you. It was late, almost midnight, and you and Ian were the only ones left at work. “Fucking dick made us lock up like we don’t have lives,” Ian huffs, pulling a cigarette out of apron pocket followed by a lighter.

Snatching it out of his hand and putting it in your mouth, you wait for him to light it for you with a grin. “No offense Ian, but,” He holds the lighter out, cupping his hand around it as he lights the cigarette, eyes trained on it in your mouth. “You don’t really have a life.”

“Damn. You’ll steal my cigs and then be a bitch?” He says, putting the lighter away. You laugh, taking a puff of it before handing it back to him. “C’mon, let's leave. I’m fucking bored.” You fall into step with him, walking towards the front office to clock out. The two of you continue to pass the cigarette back and forth and he stomps it out when you arrive. “Wanna get something to eat?”

“Asking me on a date or something, McKinley?” You tease as he holds the office door open for you and he gives you a fake smile, shouldering past you. “Relax, sweetheart, it was a joke. Yeah, we can grab a bite. Do you have anything to smoke?” He side eyes you as he clocks out and you give a sheepish smile. “What? I get a better appetite when I’m high.”

He moves to the side, leaning against the desk as you clock out and you ignore the very obvious way he’s staring at your tits. You knew Ian liked you, and you’re sure he knows that you like him, but you’ve never gone further than a few flirty comments here and there. After he and Erin split the flirting seemed to increase from the occasional joke to nearly every conversation.

“Yeah, I have a bit. Y’know, you take way too much of my shit.” He says, holding the door open for you once more as you two leave. He shuts the lights off, plunging the two of you into darkness. “Isn’t this scary?” He says, whispering into your ear as the two of you slowly walk to the exit. “Something could be in the darkness, waiting.”

“Fuck off, Ian.”

“Are you scared?” You elbow him roughly which only earns a laugh from him. “You’re fucking scared! Wow, who knew little old Y/N was scared of the dark?” Finally the two of you reach the front door and you shove it open, ignoring Ian’s teasing; you weren’t scared, he was just an asshole.

Ian locks the front door, whistling to himself, and he grunts when he turns around to see you already at his car door. You didn’t wait for him. Again. He had parked under the only working streetlight and he clicks his key ring and, as you climb into the passenger seat, he gets a brilliant idea. The car alarm blares and you yelp, jumping out of your skin, only for it to cease. Ian's laughter is easily heard from outside the car and you groan, leaning your head back against the headrest. “You’re a fucking dick, you know that?”

He opens up his back seat and grins. “The biggest. Seen it myself.” He crawls in the back and nudges your shoulder. “Come back here.” You huff, debating on if you really wanted to sit in the back seat with him, but the urge to smoke wins. He watches with an amused look as you crawl from the front seat into the back.

“You need a bigger car.” You say with a grin. Ian’s car was unequivocally him; a red 1998 Toyota Camry that was practically falling apart from the inside out. He had stickers and photos plastered on the dashboard, including one of the two of you flipping the camera off, and random items strewn throughout. For Ian, this was clean. He was proud of his car, though, considering he took the job at the hardware store to get enough money to fix it up.

You settle into the seat as Ian pulls out the box he held his weed in, something that you found quite endearing. It was a small lunchbox that had originally been a Superman one, but that young Ian had decorated to resemble him instead. The word ‘Man’ was crossed out, replaced by ‘Ian.’

“Super Ian. Cute.” You say and he gives you a half-assed glare, cheeks flushing. “I’m serious! I think it’s sweet that you kept it. Not sure the kid who made it into Super Ian would have expected it to hold drugs, but it’s the thought that counts.”

“Shut up,” He murmurs but he’s smiling now and you know he doesn’t mean it. You compliment Ian a lot and despite having known you for five years and working with you for two, he still isn’t used to it. Sometimes they were vulgar compliments, like the time his shirt had ridden up at work and you whistled at him, telling him his happy trail was ‘sexy,’ and other times they were innocent like the one you had just given him. Those are the ones that catch him off guard.

He brings the lighter out and puts the blunt in between his lips, lighting it. His eyes close and his body instantly relaxes the second he breathes in the smoke. You watch enamored as he pulls it from his lips, breathing out slowly, smoke filling the car. He catches you staring at him and cocks an eyebrow, handing the blunt to you. “You like what you see?” He teases and you roll your eyes as you take a hit.

“Sure do.” The smug look is knocked off of his face for a second; he hadn’t expected you to admit it. You can feel the tension in the air immediately and you can’t help but notice the way Ian’s tongue comes to wet his bottom lip, eyes trained on yours as you blow out the smoke. You hand it back over to him and your fingers brush against each other.

“Hm. Really?” He asks finally, avoiding your eyes as he breathes in once more. You hum and lean in closer to him, just a bit, and he wonders if you can hear his heartbeat from there. And for a moment the two of you sit there, balancing on the line of will they, won’t they, when Ian breathes out slowly, blowing the smoke in your face.

You kiss him. It's sloppy and slow, your mind is hazy from the weed, but it’s so right. He’s still holding the blunt when he pulls you into his lap, hand on the back of your head, as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. He moans into the kiss as you grind down onto him gently and you can’t help but grin; he was already getting hard if the tent in his pants was any indication.

“So fuckin’ hot,” He murmurs against your lips, pulling back only a little to look at your face. Your lips were swollen, pupils blown out, and he thinks you look absolutely perfect. “Been wanting to do this for so long.” He puts the blunt out on the handle of the car before tossing it into the still-open box.

“So why didn’t you?”

“Didn’t want to fuck this up if you weren’t into me,” He responds, hands trailing up the back of your shirt. He leans in to kiss you again but you move, attaching your lips to his neck. Your fingers were raking through his hair and he lets out a soft sigh at the feeling. “Apparently you’ve been wanting to fuck me, though. Why didn’t you do something?”

“You were with Erin for a while,” You whisper against him, nipping at the skin just below his ear. His fingers dig into your back and he tilts his head to the side, letting you continue the assault on his neck as he works on your bra. “Then you weren’t and I kept dropping hints but you never did anything. Figured you weren’t into me like that.”

He scoffs, finally unclasping your bra and grabbing your shirt to pull it off. When you lift your arms to let him slip the garment off of you, he curses at the sight of your bare chest, slipping the bra off of your body and tossing it to the front seat. Before you can say anything his mouth is on your nipple and you gasp, arching into the feeling of his warm mouth.

Ian’s tongue swirls around the bud and he switches to the next, biting down on it gently to draw a moan from you. “Fucking stupid,” He says, hands working on your jeans. “‘Course I was into you. Why the fuck do you think me and Erin broke up?”

“What?” You pull back and stare at him, eyebrows furrowed. “You told me it’s because she realized she was into girls.”

He shrugs, resuming what he had been doing. “That’s part of the reason. The other reason is she walked in on me jerking off calling your name.” You swallow hard just as he gets your jeans unbuttoned and he looks up at you with that same cocky smile. “Yeah. I kept touching myself wishing it was you. Wishing it was your hands, or lips, or cunt,” The last word is sharp and he couples it with shoving his hand down your pants, finger gliding across your clothed slit, the fabric of your underwear rubbing against your clit. “Around my cock. Thought about bending you over the desk in the office and fucking you in front of everyone.”

“Yeah?” You try to keep your voice from cracking but his fingers have finally shoved your underwear aside and were dipping in between your folds. “Fuck, Ian. God,” The feeling has your breath catching in your throat and you can’t help but grind down onto his fingers, eyes squeezing shut.

“Mhm. Did you? Did you imagine this happening while you touched yourself at night?” He asks coolly, his fingers pausing in their movements. When you open your eyes and look down at him, his eyes are dark, swollen lips parted, waiting. Waiting for you to answer him before he’d continue.

Swinging your leg off of him he takes his own shirt off, working on his belt as you slid your jeans and underwear off. You were completely bare for him now and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “I did. In fact,” You pull him out of his pants and he groans, head tilting to the side at the feeling of your hand wrapping around him. He had dreamt and thought about this exact thing happening dozens of times and this still beat out those dreams by a long shot. “I did just last night. I had a toy and pretended it was your cock and shoved it down my throat ‘till I gagged. And then I kept going.”

With your ass in the air, on your knees, you stare up at Ian as you take him into your mouth. Your throat was warm, wet, and, the further you took him, tight. Nothing could compare to the feeling of your throat constricting around him as you gagged only to push forward until you had him fully seated in your throat. “Oh my fucking god,” Ian says as you begin to bob your head slowly, tongue flat against his cock. “You’re so fucking, shit. Shit, you’re amazing,” He stutters as you catch him off guard by swirling your tongue around his tip.

He held a strong grip on the back of your head as you blew him, occasionally forcing your head down just a bit further. You knew from the flex of his hips and the way his other hand was digging into the seats upholstery, that he wanted nothing more than to face fuck you. Pulling off of him, you have drool on the corners of your mouth, tears rolling down your cheeks, and you pull him in for a kiss. “Can you fuck me?”

“Ask nicely.” He says and you roll your eyes, swinging your legs to straddle him once again. His cock was pressed against your folds and you grind against him slightly, the two of you moaning in unison. His cock was painfully hard at this point and feeling the heat and wetness of your cunt grinding down against him was almost too much.

“Please fuck me, Ian,” You say. Normally you’d tell him to fuck off but you desperately needed to feel him inside you. “Please? I need to feel you in me, bet you’ll stretch me so good, baby.” He pulls you in for a bruising kiss, pulling back almost as quickly so he can watch as he lines himself up at your entrance. You sink down ever so slowly, inch by inch, and his face is twisted in pleasure.

“Fuck, so tight,” He grunts as you finally take him fully. He was deep inside you, deeper than any of the toys you had used while pretending to get fucked by him, and you can feel him twitch. “Gonna fuck you good, aren’t I? Tell me what you want me to do, baby. Christ, you’re wet, fuck.”

He cant think straight, not when you’re squeezing around him the way you are and then you start to move your hips and he wants to fucking marry you. “Want you to fuck me, use me, I don’t care. Just want to cum around you,” Ian grabs ahold of your hips and thrusts up into you, nearly jolting your head into the roof.

“Sorry,” He says but continues fucking into you and you lean over to rest your forehead against his own. Ian’s moaning loudly, saying your name each time you clench around him. Your hand falls to your cunt, fingers circling your clit quickly, chasing your high. “F-fuck, fuck you feel so good, Y/N. You close?” You whimper in response; you can’t think. You don’t want to think, you just want to have Ian fuck you like this forever. “Yeah, you’re squeezin’ around me. Bet you’re dying to cum around me, aren’t you?”

“Yes! Yes, fuck, Ian, please. I wanna cum so bad.”

“C’mon, then. You can do it, be good for me, alright? I know you’re a bitch normally but you can be a good girl and listen, right?” You did, you wanted to be good for him. Squeezing your eyes shut you focus on the pit in your stomach, the feeling of your fingers on your clit, Ian’s fingers digging into the sensitive flesh of your hips, the way his cock was slamming into you just right-

With a strangled cry you cum, nails digging into Ian’s shoulder and you nearly sob from the pleasure. “Good girl, good fucking girl,” He moans, taking in a shaky breath. He was so, so, so close. “Where do you want me to cum, hm? Want me to cover that pretty face of yours, shit. Shit, you’re so fucking tight. Or do you want me to cover these tits?”

“Cum in me!” He hesitates for a split second and you open your eyes and begin to meet his thrusts halfway. “Please, fuck! Please fill me up, wanna make you feel good, want you to cum in me so bad, Ian.”

“Fuck. Fuck, just take it, alright? Take my cum. M’gonna, fuck, m’gonna cum.” He lets out a loud whimper as he cums, forcing your hips down onto him, keeping you flush against him. Your foreheads were still pressed together and your hands are tracing his collarbone as you wait for him to come down from his high.

Ian gives you a soft smile and kisses you quick, still out of breath. He was seated inside you, his cum leaking out of you slowly. “That was so fucking good,” He says and you laugh, nuzzling into his chest. He lets go of your hips and you can already feel the bruises blossoming though you smile; tomorrow you’d wake up and see his fingertips etched into your skin, reminding you that this really happened. He kisses your temple, hugging you, pulling you in closer to him.

“So… are you still hungry?” You ask and he laughs, a real laugh, and you pull away from him with a grin. “What? I told you I get a better appetite when I’m high.”

“Appetite for dick,” He teases and you groan, pushing at his chest. He grabs ahold of your wrist and pulls you back in for another kiss, a slower one, and his eyes seem to have a sparkle in them. “Let’s get dressed and I’ll take you home, I’m pretty hungry, too.”

“Wow, so you really were asking me on a date, McKinley,”

“God, you’re a bitch, y’know that?” He says, tossing you your underwear from the pile of clothing. You snort and the two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you redress. Somehow, getting dressed in a car is way harder than getting undressed. “And besides, I never said I was hungry for food.” You cock an eyebrow and he grabs your chin, leaning in to kiss you and pausing just before your lips connect. “Still gotta eat that pretty pussy of yours.”

He grins and moves, stepping out of the backseat and getting back into the driver's seat. “And y’know what, sweetheart?” He calls back, turning the car on and looking at you in the rearview mirror. “Don’t bother putting any of your clothes on. It’ll just waste time.”

Am I the only one that likes soft sec/making love with Satan more than rough/angry sex?

I find it hilarious how fucking DEVASTATED BoTw Link is about losing a Mario kart race.

Thousands of people died during the calamity including your best friends and it’s your job to fix what’s left.

You got 7th place in Mario Kart.

Would you, idk, marry me by any chance? 🤨

Definitely

oh the things that id let ian mckinley do to me..

CRYING or whatever

Living with the brothers would include...

Okay these are headcanons I have from the brothers and your life in the house of lamentations. I ended up making it sweeter and more wholesome than I expected lol, but I hope you like it!💕

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: Non-native writing, so if you find a mistake please let me know!

Reader: Gender Neutral.

The first week of your stay there it was very common to feel sick or without energy, this is due to the HUGE amount of dark magic that surrounds the house.

And not just any magic, magic from the three elders of the family. Protection magic made to take care not only of the house but also of the youngest members of the family.

It is a routine to see Lucifer walk the halls before everyone goes to sleep. You learned, after asking him why the hell he was so creepily pacing the halls, that he would put up barriers and seal the house in case some idiot, because come on who would ever think of harming the princes of hell, tried to break into the house or hurt his brothers while they were in their most vulnerable states.

Then in the early morning Leviathan patrols the house, just to make sure everyone is okay and that the elder's barriers are working properly.

When it's time to get up you can feel Mammon's magic all around, this gives them not only protection but also good luck before they leave home.

Over time your body got used to this magic protecting you constantly, to such an extent that you could feel when one of them was missing.

At breakfast time it is almost a golden rule that everyone is at the table. If one is missing, no one will touch the food until he appears, not even Beel breaks this rule.

It is quite normal for the food to be too much, but grotesquely too much. In fact all the brothers eat a lot, but of course, not as much as the avatar of gluttony. So there are almost never any leftovers at any meal.

When it's time to go to RAD, Lucifer checks each of his brothers and you. He does this to prevent any dangerous items from being taken to the institution, but in truth, none of them would even think of taking anything like that.

Lucifer and his brothers just want an excuse to look after and be looked after. The eldest usually arranges uniforms and hair of his brothers while waiting to be picked up by Diavolo.

Walking to RAD alone is not an option. You have several options for getting there. First you can go with Mammon and Leviathan (when he decides to go to class), in the second eldest's car. Second you have Satan or Asmo who are usually picked up by their friends. Third you can walk with the twins, or you can travel on Beel's back, who is used to carrying a sleeping Belphie in his arms, and you, believe me, won't weigh an ounce to this giant.

Lucifer is not really an option unless you want to be stuck in administrative and political meetings for at least three hours and be late for class. Plus Lucifer refuses to let you miss your classes so it's a no go.

One thing you will never understand is the sixth sense of location that these guys have because they always, ALWAYS, know the exact location of the rest of their brothers. Although usually if you ask they will refuse to answer you because they know you will be spending time alone with that person you are looking for and of course, they are jealous as fuck lol.

Sometimes you tend to forget that they are brothers and domestic or natural moments in siblings reminds you and helps you understand that it's actually not as different as human families, these moments are:

One of the most common is to hear them yelling at each other from one room to the other, they are not even fighting, they are just asking each other questions or asking for items to be handed to them.

You can always hear Satan and Asmo complaining about the mess some of them leave around the house.

Many times you saw the brothers laughing while blocking the door to another one, who screams and bangs the door insulting until they let him out, usually this is done by Belphie because he is a brat.

It is very common to hear them running and racing to get into the kitchen, snitching on each other to Lucifer or to occupy a space on the couch.

Canonically your room is next to the kitchen, so it is common to hear them at different times of the day fighting over food portions eaten by others, or just talking.

In the first few weeks, you had a hard time adjusting to the size of the house. More than once you opened rooms that led nowhere before you found the right one.

In fact, the house of lamentations has many, many false corridors, rooms and walls, and you can also find several secret rooms if you look hard enough.

Let's talk a little bit about your room, you are lucky to have a single bathroom, everyone does in fact. Can you imagine having to share a bathroom with 7 guys?

It's very common to find the brothers' stuff in your room, your stuff also tends to disappear.

If you do a full cleaning of your room and look in the most remote places you will find all kinds of things belonging to them.

It's no coincidence that they are there, the brothers hide their stuff so your room smells like them in case you want to bring an unknown demon into your bedroom.

You can call it marking territory if you want lol.

Regarding your lost items, let me tell you that once you lose them you will hardly ever find them back, your only hope is to literally cry in front of the brothers while telling them how important that item was to you.

A few days later it will appear in the most obvious place in your room.

The study sessions were more normal than you expected.

Usually someone would ask in the group chat about a class they didn't understand and then everyone would meet in the library, some with the same question, others with a different one.

Satan and Lucifer are the ones who usually teach the rest. There are times when Belphie joins in and explains some things.

If you want to know more about the past of the brothers or if you have some questions about the bible, religion or any subject related to the Celestial realm or the Devildom, that is the best time to collect information and learn more about them.

The brothers seem happy to answer your very human questions. Plus their answers are shocking and revealing to you.

So don't be surprised if you end up leaving the library questioning everything you thought you knew lol.

Something you understood after a while is that meals are very important moments for the brothers, they rarely have breakfast, lunch or dinner separately. It's the best time where you can see them interact and be a relatively normal family.

To be honest, at first it was hard for them to include you in their routines, there have been seven of them since long before you existed and adding an eighth one back to the family table was difficult for everyone.

However, you are now indispensable to the family.

Their lives had completely changed when the exchange program started.

And at first everything felt strange, as if you didn't belong there, as if you were invading a space that didn't belong to you and wasn't meant for you.

Now sitting in that eighth chair felt natural, as if you had always been there. As if that was your place.

Despite being a human, despite having a life far from Devildom, that place, that house and those seven brothers felt more like family to you than probably many of your blood relatives.

The bond you had with them was something you never expected to have with beings so… disliked in your world.

It was so different from what you had heard and learned throughout your life, it was something beautiful that you ended up finding in the most unexpected place.

You had found a place where you belonged. It was almost as natural as breathing for you.

That place is now your home.