I Was So Scared For Him

me at this point of the year, reacting to any bad news

BRO GOT LOST AGAIN 😭😭😭😭

Reposted from here because I simply had to

reblog to let him know that you love him

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.

I remember going through a very well done Haunted House with a friend but a lot of the 'scares' were supposed to be sound based- one in this instance you were supposed to read some writing on the wall for the way out and a Big Chainsaw Guy comes out of nowhere to scare and chase you aaaah but Im deaf so I legit stood there trying to read fake blood on a piece of particle board 'wall' to figure the way out when the Chainsaw Guy came out and scared my friend but I didnt hear them. What ensued from what I gather is some Scooby Doo levels of silliness of this guy in a fake pig head with a chainsaw just staring at me confused as I stared at a wall while my friend took off and left me for dead. Real Velma level hijinks

Anyway I havent done one since but this still comes to mind every year

Idk if this follows the same train of thought, but I find Alucard being the only Dhampir in the show to be fascinating for his character. Unlike all the other vampires we've seen in the anime (I haven't played the games yet) all of them were turned, and aside from maybe Erzebet, either forcibly(olrox) , when actively traumatized (Doltra), or saving someone else from the same fate (Tera). Their immortality is always tied to a negative experience, and while that doesn't automatically make them evil, it does mean they're more likely to become it. And through Olrox and Dracula, I think it's pretty safe to say that the problem isn't vampires, just the lives they lead thanks to their hardships (especially around being turned).

Alucard, while very traumatized, was born into a loving home already knowing he'd be immortal. He doesn't need to grieve his humanity, because he's never really lost it. He's isolated, hid, and treated himself like he doesn't have a place among humans, but he's always cycled eventually back into a community.

Like a lot of immortal characters, he kinda goes around in a circle or Helix. Something happens, -> he's alone, -> he grows depressed convinces himself that's how it should be, -> then he finds community, -> he get better, -> he fights for said community only for the cycle to restart. We see him go through that in Castlevania, and watch it happen yet again in Nocture (plus how many times we haven't seen it between the two).

But these cycles aren't limited to Alucard. ALL Castlevania characters go through it to some extent. The most obvious of the Vampires being Dracula (who's cycle progressed thanks to Lisa) and Olrox (thanks to his past lover + Mizrak) Doltra (with her search for Erzebet and her goddess)

For the humans, Trevor goes through that with the loss of his family, then meeting Sypha and Alucard. Juste goes through it with Julia's death leading to reuniting with Richter. Emmanuel, though surrounded by followers still deals with his isolation from creating night beasts (and being the worst dad ever). You get my point, all of the characters have some variation of their own cycles, but Alucard stands out because he's NEVER had human morality to effect how he deals with it.

Even with the vampires, (though maybe drac is different and I missed smth) they all at some point were faced with regular morality. They used to be humans. They're humans that were granted immortality. Alucard is just immortal, plain and simple. He's not having to cope with a newfound thought of forever, he's able to love "countless times", he's able to go through his cycle with a different kind of acceptance than the other vampires. Ironically, the act of coming into the world not-human, is what keeps him human. If he hadnt grown with loving examples from each side, I doubt he would've been anything like how we see him.

When he refers to vampires as "my people" in the Belmont hold, I think it should be noted that up until Dracula went crazy, Alucard didn't have much of a reason to seperate himself from vampires. His exposure to vampires as a child was through a loving father with a shitty past, but a clear devotion to his family. Dracula was, at this time, a pretty good guy, and likely didn't let Alucard witness the cruelty from other vampires. Meanwhile every Belmont's introduction was direct violence or stories of it (excluding Alucards story). Alucard is possibly the only person (aside from Lisa) to see Vampires as people. Theyre not monsters to him because he knows that they're capable of truly loving, and doing good. Vampires though, see themselves as monsters, they seperate themselves more and more from their human lives, making the switch to killing people far easier. (Even though Carmilla confirms they can survive on pigs blood) Kinda like when someone becomes wealthy and overtime becomes cruel. (Also a lot of the vampires are depicted as rich af so double that statement)

But in the same vein, Alucard has gotten front row to the good and bad parts of humanity over and over again. His mother, obviously was a saint, which shaped his loved for humans in the first place. She was killed by humans, but he found faith in humanity through her memory. He eventually found companionship in Trevor and Sypha, betrayal in Sumi and Taka, and more companionship in the town he and the others built. Then the events of Nocture and Emmanuel's evil build-a-bear worksop.

But he's also dealt with watching generations of Belmonts be able to kill with just as much ferocity as a vampire can. He deals with the constant side-eyes and discomfort from humans over who his father is. Alucard can find just as much good in vampires as he can evil in humans. He walks between both worlds without ever fully stepping into either.

Likely because of that, he chooses to fight for people on a basis of how much good he can bring. He's not required to kill or not kill vampires, but he does because he knows more lives can be saved that way. And, probably to an extent, he knows that like his father, many vampires want to move on. We see Dracula regain his empathy, his morals when faced with death. (Think the "I'm killing my boy speech", and when he was literally turning to mush he still reached out to embrace Alucard) So I think for vampires that have truly lost themselves with their immortality, Alucard might be able to think of it as saving THEM just as much as saving humans. Which in turn is a moral dilemma and a half, and would love to see people explore that.

Idk. I like just woke up so hopefully this is legible lmao.

I feel no one ever talks about how Alucard must feel knowing many of the belmonts and lots of his other friends hate or hated vampires and he’s the “exception.” Either that or they don’t think of him as a real vampire. Of course some of the Belmonts are probably more open minded about vampires than others and they do have a reason to hate vampires but like, their whole purpose is fighting vampires. Everybody always goes oh alucards only half vampire he’s only half!! But like…he’s not 50% of one vampire. He’s both a vampire and a human. Does this make him different in nature and abilities from other vampires? Yes absolutely, but it doesn’t make him not a vampire, right? He describes vampires as “his people” in the first show and is disturbed by the Belmonts display of baby vampire skulls- “it’s like a museum dedicated to the extermination of my people.” While he has killed thousands of vampires himself and threatens vampires with the fact that he is a vampire killer, he is aware that there are SOME good vampires (like himself seeing as he clearly thinks of himself as a vampire as well as a human via the first show) and his father before Lisa died, and in nocturne he says love can redeem a vampire. He also presumably knows Olrox is not "soulless." Vampires are typically described as soulless in the shows, as mizrak says they can't love because they have no soul. Even if you argue alucard "has a soul" because of his human side, what about other vampires in the show who clearly have a soul, can love, and can make decisions for other people's benefit besides themselves? Juste says to Maria that he’s met hundreds of vampires and they’re all the same, despite meeting Alucard AND knowing Alucard is a beloved figure to their family. That must really sting if alucard heard it, even if Juste sees Alucard as a "good" vampire due to his human side, the statement itself wouldve been hurtful. I can't imagine Richter saying something like that. Alucard also being a vampire killer and ally to vampire killers himself; knowing vampires have caused so much harm to the Belmont family whom he loves and to humanity and the world as a whole must be complicated for him. Personally my theory is so many vampires are evil bc they hold a ton of power and must harm others to survive; but its also complicated bc we dont know what the canon reason is for vampires being mostly evil- is it due to societal conditioning or do vampire powers come with some sort of inherent evilness? I wish this was explored more in nocturne and in general.

Maybe I’m way off base with this idk but something I’ve been thinking about.

adding onto this i imagine the belmonts who spent more time with alucard growing up are more open minded and understanding to his experience. while people like juste, who only met him once, make assumptions. richter seems to already be a more open minded person at the start of the show just due to his personality, and doesnt make assumptions about alucard so much when they meet.

welcome to pt 1 of me trying to cure my artblock with panel re-draws

Chuuyas real ability is cosplay ig. Good for him, good for him.

i thrive off levi beating the shit out of donkey kong