Morally Grey/evil Scientist Characters Are Always Like Biochemical Engineers Or Nuclear Physicists Or

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

just learned a fun fact: so the kerb stones near the hague court have the word "peace" inscribed on them in different languages, right?

well, they have a ukrainian word there, too.

except it does not mean "peace".

світ in ukrainian means "world".

and why did this oversight happen? well, you see, the words for "peace" and "world" are homographs (мир).... in russian. but not in ukrainian (мир and світ respectively).

translating from english (or french, or dutch, or belarusian, or most languages, really) into ukrainian won't lead you to "світ". translating from russian might.

so the person tasked with selecting the ukrainian word was obviously translating from russian, and picked the wrong word without doing a 2 minutes dictionary search to see if there was any difference.

and, since in the eyes of the west anyone with expertise in russia must automatically be a credible source on ukraine, there's the inscription, sitting nice and proud out there.

Lovers of Valdero // Lovers of Hasanlu // Bronze Age Scythian Couple // Sarcophagus of the Spouses // Etruscan Sarcophagi // Roman Sarcophagus // Ilka Scarneo Monument // A Memorial to Marriage, Patricia Cronin 

Source 

VERY IMPORTANT a dam in the Netherlands, the weerdsluis lock, is directly on a migratory path for spawning fish. They have a worker stationed there to open the door for the fish, but they can take a while to open it. So to keep the fish from getting preyed on by birds they installed a doorbell. Only, the fish don't have hands to ring the doorbell. If you go to their website, they have a LIVE CAMERA AND A DOORBELL that YOU RING FOR THE FISH when they're waiting, and then the dam worker opens the door for them! I can't express how obsessed I am with this. look at this shit. oh my god.

Please check on the fish doorbell once in a while :)

Fun Crafts With Dirt!!!

First, make a small hill:

Make sure it's high enough to see all of your neighbors!

Now dig a circular ditch around an area in front of your hill:

Don't forget to use that extra dirt from the ditch to make an embankment:

If you're feeling especially funky and creative you can sharpen some logs and put them on top of that embankment for a palisade:

CONGRATULATIONS! You have now made your own Motte (not the apple sauce brand, that's Mott) and Bailey castle!

Proceed to exercise your feudal authority over your neighbors at your leisure.

🥲

Decomposing Undertale’s Music Composition Structure

The Undertale soundtrack is enormously fun, expressive, and symbolically meaningful. It also, interestingly enough, is composed with a very small pallet of compositional techniques. The majority of tracks are written the same way. An astonishing number of Undertale’s OST songs contain most/all of the following elements:

An ostinato. If there is not an ostinato, there is still a background line that maintains repeated rhythmic and pitch movement patterns.

An ostinato introduction paradigm. The ostinato is introduced first, then the midground, then the melody.

Melody made of parallel periods. The melody consists of eight bar periods with a parallel question and answer phrase. That is, the first line of the melody and the second line of the melody start similarly and in a way “mirror” each other.

Everything melodic is repeated twice. Melodic structural units are played twice in a row before introducing something new.

Binary Form. The pieces overall consist of a Binary AABB form. That is, the piece starts with one big melodic theme and then ends with a second big melody theme.

Below, I will describe in depth how to structure and develop a “prototypical” Undertale track piece.

Step 1: Create an ostinato

An ostinato is a short unit of music that plays on repeat throughout a piece. The notes and rhythms stay exactly the same and are repeated over and over without stop. A good example of an ostinato is Pachelbel’s canon. The cellos play the same notes on repeat from start to end. That’s the ostinato. 

A dramatically high percentage of the pieces in Toby Fox’s Undertale soundtrack make use of an ostinato, including but not limited to: “Fallen Down,” “Ruins,” “Ghost Fight,” “Heartache,” “Snowy,” “Snowdin Town,” “Bonetrousle,” “Nyeh Heh Heh!”, “Dummy!”, “Death by Glamour,” “An Ending,” “Here We Are,” “Amalgam,” “Gaster’s Theme,” “Battle Against a True Hero,” “Power of NEO,” and “Megalovania.”

To give an example, below is the notation to the four measure ostinato in “Megalovania”. You can hear this ostinato played by itself at the very beginning from 0:00-0:07. Note that when the bass line comes in 0:07, it is also a four measure repeating unit that recurs throughout much of “Megalovania.”

The first half of “Battle Against a True Hero” uses the ostinato I have transcribed below. It comes it right at the start of the piece (0:00) with the solo piano. The second half of the track is a second, different ostinato. Like “Megalovania,” the bass part is also an ostinato playing alongside the piano.

Below, the ostinato which starts (0:00) “Death by Glamour.”

The Ostinato in “Ruins” and “An Ending”, also introduced right at the start 0:00.

The point of the matter is, while ostinato is one compositional device that’s been used for centuries, it’s not present as frequently as Toby Fox himself uses it. He has an unusually high percentage of ostinato pieces; the Undertale soundtrack relies heavily on it.

If not an ostinato, something ostinato-like

Sometimes the background or mid-ground (that is, the part of the music that is not the melody but not the basic background) in an Undertale track is not a strict ostinato. That is, the same notes and pitches don’t repeat perfectly over and over and over again. However, when Fox doesn’t use a perfect ostinato, there is almost always something ostinato-like, a repeated rhythmic pattern that has an embedded pitch pattern as well. The notes might not be 100% the same every time they repeat, but it’s still a noticeable pattern.

For example, “Spear of Justice” and “NGAHHH!!” have a dramatic bass line that is built on a recurring rhythm. However, the chords of that bass line change around, so the notes aren’t exactly the same every time you hear an iteration of the rhythmic pattern. The notes usually arpeggiate (move up and down) the same way, though, along the same rhythms.

“Your Best Friend” is another example. Below is part of the accompaniment for that song. If you notice, there is a general four note pattern in which the notes move up and down the same way. The individual notes might change (as I have circled), but the pattern rhythmically and generally pitch-wise remains the same.

Step 2: Introduce the ostinato, then more accompaniment, then the melody and jam

What’s interesting is that it’s not just that there’s a liberal presence of ostinatos in the soundtrack, but that they’re frequently introduced, used, and implemented the same way each time. There is a certain “ostinato introduction paradigm” Toby Fox likes to use.

First, the ostinato is introduced by itself. Then, other accompaniment (non-melody) is layered on top of the ostinato. Last, the melody jumps in, oftentimes with the explosion of a more energetic drum rhythm. Sometimes the second step I mentioned is skipped, but this sort of pattern nevertheless manifests itself in piece after piece.

For example, “Battle Against a True Hero” begins with a solo piano playing the ostinato. After it plays the ostinato once, we get some mid-ground music at 0:05. After the mid-ground is introduced, Toby Fox inserts in the melody at 0:18. The drums kick in at the same time as the melody at 0:18.

Now listen to “Death by Glamour.” The ostinato starts by itself in a single instrument (also, amusingly, a piano). A few instruments are added on top of it between 0:06 and 0:25. At 0:25, the entire music ensemble is in and a melody is introduced. Though there was a kick drum earlier, it’s at 0:20, near to the introduction of the melody, that the drums really start going.

Exact same pattern.

Now listen to the start of “Megalovania.” It again begins with a single instrument line, a four measure ostinato. Then, at 0:07, a bass line is added below it. After that cycles through once, the entire ensemble jumps in at 0:15, the drums kick up, and we’re off to the races.

Exact same pattern.

And if you want more fun listening, check out “Dummy!” Ostinato at start. Midground at 0:07 with a bare bass drum. Melody at 0:22 with full drum set. Same thing happens in “Ghost Fight.” Same thing happens in “Snowdin Town.” Same thing happens in “Thundersnail.” Same thing happens in “Amalgam.” Same thing happens with many, many more tracks throughout the Undertale OST.

With the rhythmic patterned accompaniments that are not quite ostinatos, you still see the same sort of “ostinato” introduction paradigm. Examples of this include “Waterfall,” “Alphys,” “Temmie Village,” and “Metal Crusher.”

Toby Fox uses not only an ostinato frequently, but he also often uses this particular technique of introducing and developing the ostinato. It’s a stock trick of his. These pieces are written and developed the same way.

So the ostinato describes the accompaniment pattern Fox likes to utilize. But what about the melody? It turns out there are a lot of patterns Fox uses for melody, too.

Step 3: The melody consists of two parallel lines

A phrase is a line that sounds sort of like a musical sentence or, well, a phrase. It has a notable start and end point. If you were singing a phrase that had lyrics to it, the phrase would be one line of lyrics. 

Toby Fox’s phrases are always four measures long. They also always come in pairs. This is a very common musical composition structure. A pair of phrases in fact has its own technical term - it’s called a period.

There are several different types of periods in music composition, but Toby Fox almost invariably uses the same one every time. He composes a parallel question and answer period.

“Question and answer” means that the second phrase sounds like it is resolving something the first phrase introduces. The first musical phrase ends in a sort of “question” - that is, it doesn’t sound finished when you reach the end of it. Just like a spoken question has raised intonation at the end (in English), it sounds like the musical phrase’s question is incomplete. The second musical phrase ends in an “answer” - that is, it ends the notes with a resolute conclusion and landing by the end. It sounds like the lowered, resolving intonation you hear when someone talking answers a question with a declarative sentence.

Now, phrases being question and answer is still pretty common in the music composition world. But what you also see in Undertale is that the phrases are parallel phrases, too. That is, the first phrase starts the same way that the second phrase does.

I could practically list the entire Undertale soundtrack for being culprit to the parallel question and answer eight bar periods. But I’ll pull out just a few examples to concretely show what’s going on.

One of the best examples of this melodic form is in “Your Best Friend” because the entire melody consists of that eight bar parallel question and answer period.

Period 1 is the first four measures, notated on the top line. Period 2 is the second four measures, notated on the bottom line. Notice that Periods 1 and 2 start the same way, and in fact the first 13 notes from each are exactly the same. Even when they do diverge pitches at the end, they still keep the same rhythm. Period 1 is considered a question because it ends on an F, which is the fifth scale degree of the key signature, a Bb, so Period 1 ends on the V chord. The V chord is considered to be an incomplete sound when you stop there. It’s a question. But Period 2 ends on the I chord with the first scale degree, the Bb, which is an answer or resolution.

To visually show another example, here’s “Nyeh Heh Heh!” / “Bonetrousle”:

In “Nyeh Heh Heh!”, only the first four notes of Period 1 completely match the pitches of those notes in Period 2. However, if you look at my arrows, you’ll notice we keep the same parallel up and down motion throughout each of the lines. The pitches still move directionally in the same way throughout the lines. Especially since the two phrases start the same characteristic way, and then bounce up and down the same way, we audiences hear a parallel question and answer.

But this structure is really everywhere. The dating themes. “Snowy.” “Spear of Justice.” You name it. It’s there.

Step 4: Everything melodic is repeated twice

Music has a lot of different structural units of different sizes. There are small units in music, like a four measure phrase. There are larger units, like an entire thematic section, which is usually labeled “A” or “B”. When Toby Fox has distinct melodic (or ostinatic) material, he repeats it twice before introducing something new.

Screencap of “Spear of Justice” sheet music from Jester Musician.

“Spear of Justice” is a perfect example of this “repeat in twos” paradigm. The song’s introduction consists of a four bar phrase repeated twice (0:00-0:05 and 0:05-0:10). Then the bass and drums come in. We hear a four bar unit again repeated twice (0:10-0:15 and 0:15-0:21). Then we switch key signatures. We hear a four bar unit again repeated twice (0:26 and 0:26-0:30). There is a little tag at the end finishing the A section and leading into the B section.

The first two phrases of the B section are exactly the same as one another and can be heard from 0:35-0:41 and 0:41-0:47. The next two phrases are also exactly the same as one another and can be heard from 0:47-0:53 and 0:53-0:58. So what Toby Fox does is play one phrase, repeat it, play a new phrase, repeat it. Rule of two. Then, he repeats this ENTIRE chunk from 0:35-0:58 again at 0:58-1:19. Here he’s got embedded layers of two.

For the rest of the B section, 1:19-1:31 is a period, and 1:31-1:41 is a repetition of that period. We get one last repetition of this period (which is identical to 1:31-1:41) before the song ends.

I could keep giving more examples of this exact same phenomenon throughout the soundtrack. “Home” has the opening guitar eight bar period repeated twice before the melody comes in. Then that melody is played twice. “Bonetrousle” has literally everything melodic duplicated in twos from start to finish. I’ll talk more about that piece later.

Toby Fox loves things in twos.

Step 5: Make it binary form

Binary form is a description of how a composition’s melodic themes are arranged. Binary form means that there are two main themes, “A” and “B”. The A theme gets played, thenb the B theme gets played, and then the piece is done. Usually in binary form, each theme gets played twice, so technically it’s AABB. This form is extremely, extremely common in Undertale.

To give just a few examples:

“Battle Against a True Hero” has an A section focusing on one melody and one ostinato from 0:00 to 1:35. Then, the rest of the piece is the B section, focusing on a second ostinato and melody.

“Nyeh Heh Heh!” and “Bonetrousle” are very simple, but technically you can divide them into two parts (by two periods that contain the entirety of the melody). The first period is the A section and is heard in Nyeh Heh Heh from 0:00-0:18 The second period is the B section and is heard from 0:18 to 0:32.

“Snowy” plays the same melody repeatedly from 0:00 to 1:02. The second half of the piece, the B section, goes from 1:02 to the end.

“Amalgam” has an A theme from 0:00 to 0:42. The B theme is 0:42 to the end.

“Enemy Approaching” has an A theme from 0:00 to 0:30. The B theme picks up from there and goes to the end of the piece.

“Here We Are” has an A section until about 0:43. When the piano takes over at that point, we enter the B theme. It continues more or less until the end of the piece.

A few pieces in Undertale have ternary structure, which means that you return to the A after the B is played. So, basically, they are ABA form. “Dummy!”, “Death by Glamour,” and “Heartbreak” are some examples of ternary structure in Undertale.

Examples: putting this all together

I will now go through several tracks in Undertale and show how they fall into all of these compositional steps and techniques. Lots of Undertale pieces really are written the same way.

Bonetrousle

Bonetrousle is introduced with a bass line that repeats every four notes. This pattern is basically an ostinato in the first half of the piece. However, it is to note the notes do change halfway through the song (at 0:30), and in the second half can only be described as a rhythmically patterned bass. Still, the accompaniment falls into exactly what I observed in the beginning of this analysis (Step 1).

The bass line is introduced by itself at 0:00 before the melody jumps in at 0:06 (Step 2).

The four note bass pattern is repeated four times (two twos) from 0:00-0:06 (Step 4).

The melody consists of a parallel question and answer period. The first phrase, the question, is 0:05-0:11, and the answer phrase is 0:12-0:18 (Step 3). I have already discussed how these are parallel phrases.

The period from 005:-0:18 is repeated at 0:18-0:30 - Rule of Twos (Step 4).

Bonetrousle consists of an A theme from 0:00-0:30 and a B from 0:30 to the end, making Bonetrousle binary form (Step 5).

The B theme consists of a period that is in parallel question and answer form. The question phrase is 0:30-0:37 and the answer phrase is 0:38-0:43 (Step 3).

The period from 0:30-0:43 is repeated at 0:43-0:58 because, of course, everything melodic has to be played twice (Step 4).

Battle Against a True Hero

The piece begins with an ostinato playing by itself (Step 1). The ostinato is, in a way, a parallel question and answer (Step 3).

The ostinato introduction paradigm is met. The ostinato plays by itself once from 0:00-0:05. Mid-ground music is added on top of the ostinato 0:05. After the mid-ground is introduced, Toby Fox inserts in the melody at 0:18. The drums kick in at the same time as the melody at 0:18 (Step 2).

The mid-ground introductory section is played twice at 0:05-0:11 and 0:11-0:18 (Step 4).

The melody is in periods with parallel phrases (Step 3).

The first two lines of the melody are played twice at 0:19-0:30 and 0:31-0:43 (Step 4). 

The second two lines of the melody are played twice at 0:43-0:56 and 0:57-1:08. Then, this whole thing, 0:43-1:08, is then repeated from 1:08-1:34. Twos two twos everywhere (Step 4).

The A theme plays from 0:00-1:35. The B theme plays from 1:35 to the end, making “Battle Against a True Hero” binary form (Step 5).

The B theme starts with a new ostinato, introduced by itself in the piano (Step 1). At 1:45, strings are layered on top of the ostinato. At 1:54, everyone comes in, including the bass, the melody, and the drums. That’s the ostinato introduction paradigm being implemented a second time in this track (Step 2).

The B melody consists of a parallel question and answer period. The question can be heard from 1:55-2:03 and the answer is 2:03-2:13. If you notice, these are parallel phrases because they start the same way, and in fact have many notes in common before they end slightly differently (Step 3).

The melody is repeated twice 1:55-2:13 and 2:14-2:37 (Step 4).

Enemy Approaching

The main groove is introduced from 0:00-0:10. The rhythmic bass pattern heard at the bottom is consistent throughout the entire song (Step 1).

The accompaniment and mid-ground are introduced at 0:00-0:09. The melody kicks up at 0:10 with a fuller drum kit (Step 2).

The melody consists of a period with parallel question and answer phrases. The question can be heard from 0:10-0:15; the answer is 0:15-0:20. Note that both phrases start the same way - they’re definitely parallel and share a lot of notes in common (Step 3).

The period from 0:10-0:21 is repeated at 0:20-0:30.

You could call the first half of the melody from 0:00-0:30 an A and the second half of the melody from 0:30-0:56 a B, in which case you could argue this is binary structure (Step 4).

The period in B is a parallel question and answer. The question is 0:30-0:35 and the answer is 0:36-0:41 (Step 3).

The period from 0:30-0:41 is repeated at 0:41-0:56, because of course everything melodic has to be done in twos (Step 4).

These are just a few examples. There’s no need to go through every piece, but suffice it to say, my generalizations hold up to a large number of the tracks in the Undertale OST. Not every piece correlates to what I have mentioned, but many of them do.

It is really fascinating to see the diversity of melodies and moods that can be created from such a simple compositional structure. Yes, while the limited composition technique makes many tracks predictable and less original, the common form still shows us how one technique can be implemented multiple times to make many memorable and enjoyable songs. The structure also, in its own odd way, cements the pieces together to sound like a uniform soundtrack. 

It is interesting to me, as a composer, to see how different composers structure their pieces. It allows us musicians to see what does and does not work. Toby Fox, while he sticks with one structure for a large portion of his pieces, uses a structure that works. By looking at this, we can listen, understand, and perhaps appreciate the solid structure within the Undertale OST.

Lightning starts a forest fire, 1960s

Spooky scritches

(via)