People Are Always Telling Me I Spend Entirely Too Much Time In The Gym For Someone Who Has No Interest

The younger generations aren’t here to mess around

Lost Girl feeds my lesbian soul

Unrealistic scenario: “these ancient runes roughly translate to: abandon hope all ye who enter”   “huh I wonder what that could mean”

Better scenario: “the runes basically say ‘you enter you die’”  “well now we HAVE to go in”

How my high school friend group was formed

I’m sorry but name ONE trope better than “broken people with different kinds of baggage come together and form their own family” there is nothing to top it

Welcome to Florida

One of, perhaps the funniest conversations I’ve ever had:

Me: *explains double incision top surgery and why nipple grafts are necessary*

My dear friend, a cis woman: So do you get to choose whose nipples they are?

Me:

My friend:

Me:

Me: No honey, they’re my nipples. I do get to keep my nipples, they just borrow them for a minute.

My friend, absolutely delighted at this news: Oh! That’s good! I think it’d be a bit weird to have someone else’s nipples!

I didn’t read the blog name and I was just like, “yeah that makes sense” and if that doesn’t tell you how fucked up 2020 has been I don’t know what will

My dad burned the moon with a flamethrower.

Printers: now with attitude

Now I can’t stop thinking of a vampire politely knocking on the bedroom window of a house whispering “can I come in please?”

I was thinking about how vampires need permission to enter a home and then immediately thought: Damn, vampires would make really bad house burglars.

It’s posts like this that make me wish tumblr had a “well, shit” button to press because I “like” funny posts, relatable posts, inspirational posts. But this. I do not “like” this. I feel the need to express the personal discontent this post caused and my only option is “like”

I’ve never quite been threatened like “You are young. Life has been kind to you. You will learn.”