What Once Was

Plot Summary: After Jackie left you for Jeff in your teen years, you’ve done all you could to avoid running into her. You decide to go to your high school’s 25 year reunion once you hear that Jackie wasn’t going to attend. How were you to know she’d show up anyway.

1996

Jackie had been acting strange for the last few days. In fact, it felt like she had been pulling away from you since graduation. You’d gotten to the point where you had to call her friends to see if she was acting as odd with them as she was with you. Though none of them had an answer for you, she was acting the same with everybody else. Only things with you were different.

Earlier in the day, you had called Shauna, telling her that you were going to go talk to Jackie and finally see what was wrong. You had given her time to come to you and explain the reason for how she was acting, but she wouldn’t budge. And the longer it went on, the quieter Jackie became. It almost seemed like she was avoiding you, but she wouldn’t do that to her girlfriend. You were positive that you just needed to assure her that you would both do fine with long distance.

You drove over to the Taylor’s house and found an unfamiliar truck parked where you usually do. Walking up to the house, you could hear the sounds of voices through the open windows. You knock on the front door, expecting Jackie or either of her parents to open it up. You were certainly not expecting the door to open and have you face-to-face with Jeff Sadecki.

He groaned, speaking as he retreated further into your girlfriend's house. “Jackie, can you not have your friends come visit when we’re on a date?” Pfff, a date? Jackie’s parents are probably trying to set them up again. That poor, delusional asshole, you thought. Jackie bounced cheerfully to the door until she saw you standing there. Her face quickly changed, and she hurriedly pushed you outside, closing the door behind you both.

You always thought Jackie’s parents suspected you and her, but you never thought they’d go this far. "Wow, your parents have hit a new low. I mean, setting you up on a date with Jeff Sadecki? Jesus.” You laughed for a second, until you realized Jackie wasn’t laughing with you. Actually, she had the most sympathetic look on her face that she’s ever directed at you. Immediate concern filled your body. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Y/n. My parents didn’t set this up; I did.” Your face dropped instantly. “Jax, what? What’re you talking about?” She tried to hold your hands when she explained herself to you, but you immediately shook yourself out of her grasp. “Y/n… I can’t do this. I can’t be that way. It’s not natural.” You didn’t believe the words that she was saying. Two weeks ago, she was happily in love with you, telling you and every one of her teammates as much. And now, this?

“Jackie, woah, where is this coming from? You felt your throat start to close up. Jackie was slowly trying to move you further from the door, afraid that her parents or Jeff would hear you.

“Please don’t make this more difficult for me than it already is. I don’t want to hurt you; I just can't be like that with you anymore.” She was trying not to make her words sound as harsh as they were, and she was failing horrendously at it. The more she spoke, the more you teared up. Seeing that seemed to send her into even more of a panic as she continued talking. “I don’t like women. I’m meant to be with someone like Jeff. It just makes sense.” She tried to rationalize.

She was about to say more when you heard Jeff’s voice call from inside. “Babe! Get back in here; you’re gonna miss the highlights of my game!” She tried not to look too unhappy before she returned her gaze to you. You could see her face falter when she looked at you, standing on her doorstep crying because of what she did. Whatever sliver of her that felt bad for her actions was swiftly hidden away as she opened her front door once again. She looked at you with a stoic face and sad eyes when she said her last words to you. “Goodbye Y/n.”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks on the drive home. It felt like you were living in a fucking nightmare. It certainly didn’t feel real. Some part of you couldn’t blame her, you had known the pressure her parents put on her. She always seemed like she carried the world on her shoulders, but those were expectations she put on herself. Upon getting home, you immediately ran upstairs and fell into your bed.

You were only home for a few minutes when you got a call on your landline. You wanted to ignore it, but a part of you hoped that it was Jackie calling to tell you it was all a bad joke and she was sorry. You quickly answered. “Hello? Jackie?” Your tone was hopeful, bordering on desperate. “Uh, no?” A different voice fills your ears.

“Oh hi, Shauna.” You couldn't hide the disappointment that laced through your voice when you realized that Jackie wasn’t going to call. “I was just calling to see if you were home already, but I didn’t expect you to be home this soon. What happened at Jackie’s—” The mention of Jackie's name made you breakdown. “Shauna,… she left me.” The other end of the line went quiet before Shauna recovered from her surprise. “She what? No. She wouldn't.” Her voice sounded distant, and she sounded as confused as you felt. “She did. She dumped me for Jeff fucking Sadecki.”

The fact that anyone would view Jeff as an upgrade was comical to Shauna, but she had to stifle her laugh when she heard you speak again. “Is it really that big of an issue for her to love me?” All the emotion was drained from your voice. It made Shauna uncomfortable to hear you like that. “Hold on, I’m coming over.”

Shauna made it to your house in record time. You both just sat in her car as you explained everything through sniffles. For a while, she was waiting for Jackie to pop out and say it was a prank, but no such relief came. She brought no words of comfort for you, Shauna was never good at pep talks. In fact, she would say that the only thing she was good at was brooding. However, she never left you to handle your sadness alone.

If it weren’t for Shauna showing up for you that summer, you weren’t sure how you would have fared. She had become your rock and did everything with you. You were close enough while you were dating her best friend, but this just felt different. There was not a thing you’d do that she wasn’t asking to accompany you with. Good thing too; she would always spot when Jackie and Jeff were nearby before you could see the pair.

She’d saved you a lot of grief for the rest of the summer before you finally got peace when Jackie left for college. No more worrying about bumping into her at your favorite Deli that she’d loved. No possibility of running into her while she was on a date with Jeff. It was a start for everything to become easier for you. A couple weeks had passed, and you were finally feeling okay. You had even begun to forget the reason for your new-found friendship with Shauna.

It was at a coffee shop, about a week before Shauna was to leave for Brown, that it happened. You sat together on the patio of the café, laughing at something that Mari had told her earlier. Shauna’s mother had gotten her a brand new flip phone to go away to college with. She left it on the table after showcasing it to you. All of a sudden, the little thing lights up and rings. You look down and see her name plainly displayed on the screen. Everything came back to you then. You were reminded of the girl who made all of this happen. Shauna looked at the phone, saw the name that flashed on the tiny screen, and excused herself. She was not nearly far enough that you couldn’t hear her whisper yelling at Jackie. Discussing Jackie’s latest argument with Jeff and deflecting every time Jackie asked who Shauna was with, that she had to whisper.

Beyond the reminder of Jackie that day, you had the daunting realization that you couldn’t continue your friendship with Shauna. It was wrong of you to take away and monopolize the time of your ex-girlfriend's best friend. Moreover, realizing you’d have to coexist alongside Jackie still being in Shauna’s life and possibly encountering her in one way or another was enough to make your decision final. After Shauna went to University, you’d stop talking to her.

When Shauna left, she had given you her mailbox number and the number of her new phone, so you could call and write to her often. She left with a smile and yelled at you to promise that you’d call before the end of her first week at Brown. You just smiled at her as her mother drove her away, waving goodbye to her until the old station wagon disappeared from view.

2021

The years drifted by quickly as you tried to forget all about Jackie Taylor and the rest of your old friends in Wiskayok. You were glad to have gone to a college far enough from your hometown, it made it easier to stay there and disappear from everyone. You had tried dating afterwards, but everything seemed so dull in comparison. The feeling of having her love you was something indescribable. To have a random person fill the place that you always thought would belong to Jackie just didn’t feel right. You told yourself you enjoyed the solitude. Convinced yourself that it was your own choice rather than a decision made without your blessings.

You were intent on keeping it that way too, trying not to remember any people from home. But that’s when you got the call. “Hey Y/n, it's Misty, Misty Quigley from high school.” You’re not sure you ever gave Misty your number, so you wonder how she has it now. "Yeah, hi Misty, I remember. How’ve you been?” You say unenthused; you didn’t actually care to know. “Doing good; I’m an attendant at a nursing home. So I’m living the dream! But… I’d be doing better if you came to the reunion this year.”

The words were like a punch to the face. “Misty no—” She’s quick to cut you off. “Come on, Y/n, nobody has seen or heard from you in years; some people probably think you’re dead at this point.” She was practically begging over the phone. “And I am fine to keep it that way, happy even.” You attempt to shut it down again. “Y/n…please. The girls miss you.” That tugged on your heart a little. “Misty, really, I can’t—” She cuts you off yet again with her best argument all evening. “Jackie won’t be there.”

You were well aware that Jackie never misses the opportunity to go to the reunions, and thus you avoided going at all costs. It’s only when Misty sighs and tells you that Jackie cannot attend this year because of some furniture convention in Philadelphia that Jeff was dragging her to that you begrudgingly agreed to go. You hadn’t kept up with your old friends and teammates, just to avoid ever running into Jackie. You rationalized that it’d be nice to see them again with no fear of running into her. And this opportunity probably won’t come again for another 25 years, so you figured you might as well. So you reply to the Facebook invitation that you’ll be attending and prepared yourself.

The day of the reunion approached faster and faster until you found yourself sitting in your car in the parking lot of your old high school, fidgeting with your dress shirt. Practically doing all that you could to stall actually going inside. The whole place reminded you of Jackie. It made you nearly sick to your stomach. All the hurt caused by her leaving you, which despite it all, was still fresh in your mind. The longer you sat, the more anxious you became. Finally, looking down at your phone and seeing the time prompted you to reach for the door handle and get out.

Walking through the doors of Wiskayok High, you had expected it to look different, to have been updated at all in the 25 years since your graduation. But no, it's still the same ratty old hallway in the same broken-down school that you remembered. It brought a slight sense of comfort, knowing that you could likely still navigate your way through the entire high school campus without issue.

Approaching the big, blue and yellow decorated doors, the only thing that separated you from people you hadn’t seen in 20+ years, you felt nauseous. You had to keep telling yourself that Jackie wasn’t here to keep your anxiety at bay. So, with a deep breath, you pushed open the large metal doors. It was decorated as well as a high school gym could be, you supposed. A lot of lights strung up with blue and yellow balloons set on each table.

Right as you enter, you see Misty standing by the photographer and his props. The sound of the closing door can barely be heard over the music playing throughout the gymnasium; however, she could still sense it and turn to see you. The sight brings a large smile to her face as she runs over to lead you to the table with all the other girls.

As you approach a large round table, you could start to make out the familiar faces of your old friends. Their conversation dies down when Natalie notices you, getting up to greet you. “Holy shit…when Misty told us you were coming, we all just thought she was full of it.” You laugh nervously. You still feel tense from being around people you used to know so well but now felt like strangers. “Well, here I am.”

You turn around. “Tai, congratulations on the campaign.” Taissa smiles at you before speaking. “Thank you, Y/n… You look great.” She says it so genuinely. You'd guess that when people haven't seen you in years, they can only assume the worst.

Before you could respond, you’re wrapped in a hug by Shauna, much unlike the moody teen you once knew. “Hey Shipman.” You said as you wrapped your arms around her. You embrace her for a moment before she pulls away and punches you in the arm. Now that’s more like the Shauna Shipman you knew. “You stopped responding to me! Don’t ever do that again; I’ve missed seeing you. I really thought that I would never hear from you again.”

As you gently hold the spot where Shauna laid into your arm, you try to explain yourself. "Shauna, come on, you know I couldn’t keep in touch after everything with...” You gestured to an empty space next to Shauna that, when you were younger, would always be filled by Jackie. Her demeanor changed, and the others went quiet around you as well.

“You know it never sat right with me, what she did.” She defends. “I know, but she needed you. I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.” She looks at you with sad brown eyes. “You still needed me too.” You shrug. “I wasn’t going to ask you to choose me over your best friend.” Shauna opens her mouth to respond before Taissa grabs you by the shoulders and guides you to sit in one of the chairs. “You guys can talk later; we need to hear about what’s been going on in the past 20 years.”

The tension melted away quickly, and you felt as if you'd picked up right where you left off with them. Everyone tells you about what they’ve been up to. You’re most surprised that Shauna has a daughter now. She hit you again when you told her that she never struck you as the nurturing type. It felt so light and perfect, you knew something had to go wrong.

The metal doors have been opening and closing all night, with people going in and out of the gym. So, of course, you paid it no mind when the metal clicked open and shut once more. You were far too intrigued to hear about Natalie’s latest rehab stint to notice the approaching figure until it was too late.

“Hi guys!” A cheery voice breaks through the crowd. You felt like a deer caught in headlights. You didn’t need to look at her to know who it was. You were frozen, all you could hear were some nervous greetings from around the table. By the tense tone in the girls' voices, it seemed they wanted to be swallowed by the ground just as much as you did.

You watched her gaze flit to every person before landing on you. “Hi Y/n.” Her smile shone as brightly as you remember it. If you hadn’t known her like you did, you would’ve assumed she was being fake with you. “Hey Jackie.” Your voice low as you tried to avoid her eyes and take a sip of your drink. Shauna laid her hand on your arm and squeezed reassuringly; the action was not lost on Jackie. You watched her eyes focus on the action, her face hiding a barely contained scowl now. She was about to speak again when Misty spoke up.

You thank every higher power in the sky, as it made Jackie face Misty instead of you. Her green eyes felt like they were burning into your skin the longer she stared. “You said you weren’t coming. The convention?” Misty looked like she felt guilty for putting you in this position. You would’ve thought it was a trap, but you knew Jackie. "Oh, didn’t you get my email? Last week, Jeff decided that he wanted to go alone. So I emailed you, saying that I would be attending after all.”

Jackie was never great at lying. It may not have been obvious to the others, but to you and Shauna, you could read Jackie like a book. You turned to Shauna with a suspicious look, and her face mirrored your own. Misty gave her a confused look. “You didn’t email me.” Jackie feigned surprise. "Oh, silly me, I must’ve written it up but never sent it.” She turned to the table with a ‘what can you do’ expression and a shrug as she moved to sit down. She took the open chair directly across from you. God, it’d be hard to avoid eye contact with her now.

"So, Y/n I haven't heard from you in ages; are you married?” Jackie never had tact when she wanted something, but the sheer audacity to ask stunned you. Everyone else seemed to have the same sentiment as you because the girls all avoided eye contact. Shauna tried to scold Jackie, but that only encouraged her to persist further with you. To cease the girls bickering, you gave her an answer. “Uh, no, Jackie. I’m not.” She tried to push a small smile from her face when she responded. “Oh, really? That’s too bad.”

At that, Taissa pushed herself from the table, stating that she was going to go get a plate of something to eat. Natalie and Misty both followed her, seeming to find the encounter too awkward to bear. “So, why aren’t you on Facebook?” Jackie continued to pry.

“I am; I just have a few people blocked.” You didn’t leave anything up for interpretation with your tone. Shauna laughed beside you. She seemed to have read the hint immediately, while Jackie was still catching up. You knew, however, exactly when she figured it out because she instantly pouted. The slight against her did nothing to dissuade her efforts, though. She was as persistent as ever; you could give her that much.

"So, to be clear, you’re not dating anyone? Right?” That was the last straw. You got up from the table, stating that you were going to find the food Tai was referring to. As you left the table, you could hear Shauna chastise Jackie quietly. You couldn’t make out much, but you did hear the distinct sound of Jackie complaining before you were out of earshot. “What Shauna? It’s not like I could check on her Facebook.”

You stayed by the buffet table for a few minutes, making idle chatter with whoever recognized you. Anything to avoid being stuck with Jackie at the table. However, it didn't take long for her to grow bored and go searching for you. She appeared out of nowhere; it almost startled you. It was as if one second you were alone, and the next she was beside you, already opening her mouth to yap.

“Crazy bumping into you. Now that I have you here, you never answered that question back there.” You rolled your eyes and did your best to ignore her. "Oh, come on, Y/n. You never come to these; I just wanna catch up!” You had about had it. Turning to face her completely, you drop the niceties.

“Cut the shit Jackie, you and I both know you’re lying. Why are you really here?” Jackie stands there a little stunned; you’d never snapped like that at her while you were dating. "I, uh… well, I saw that you responded to the Facebook invite and that you were coming. And I just wanted to see you and maybe talk to you.” You don’t have the energy for her right now. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jackie. I don’t want explanations or apologies. Just leave me alone.” You turned and walked back to the table where Shauna was seated alone.

You sighed as you sat down next to her, with your head in your hands. Shauna leaned over and rubbed your back. She was doing her best to give you some semblance of comfort. She knew this was a lot for you; she didn’t have to say it. It was painfully obvious and awkward enough to send your other three friends running to interact with literally anyone else. When you brought your head back up, you could see Jackie staring at the two of you. She looked so insecure as she stood right where you left her. Shifting uncomfortably on her feet, she looked like a kicked puppy. You laid your head in your hands again and groaned.

“I don’t know what to do, Shauna; she won’t stop with me.” Your voice came out muffled from your hands. You could hear Shauna sigh next to you, and her hand dropped from your back. "Yeah, she was never great with the word ‘no'.” She laughed. You huffed out a small laugh as well.

You heard a click of heels on the gym floor coming at you and looked up. You saw Jackie marching over to the table with renewed vigor. She stood directly at your side and placed her hands on her hips when she addressed you. “Y/n I really think we should talk about what happened.” She said it in the exact tone that she would always do when you were teenagers. The same tone that got you to straighten up and do exactly what she said.

You were getting so frustrated with her. You’d just wanted a moment of peace away from her, and she couldn’t seem to respect that. Fuck it. You stood, turned to Shauna, and offered her your hand. “You wanna dance?” A look of surprise crossed her face, but upon seeing your expression of determination, she smiled and delicately placed her hand in yours. “I’d love to.” She rose from her seat, and you led her to the dance floor, leaving Jackie with a look of utter shock as you brushed past her.

You enjoyed your time with Shauna, laughing together as you moved around the dance floor. Every now and then, when you spun her, you’d get a look behind her at the table. The table where you’d see Jackie sitting alone, miserably gazing at you and her best friend dancing. Jackie was downing her drinks quickly. She’d kept pouring herself more drinks from the punch bowl to drown her sorrows. The punch bowl that sat in the middle of the table, the one that Natalie had definitely spiked earlier in the night. You tried to not let the image of Jackie sitting sad and alone because of your actions burn itself into your brain.

“I know what you’re doing.” Shauna’s voice made you shift your gaze away from Jackie. “Huh?” You attempted to play dumb. She rolled her eyes. “If you’re trying to get a reaction out of her, you’re doing a good job.” You straightened up, and Shauna gave you a look like she knew she’d nailed exactly what you were up to. “I think that Jackie brought this onto herself.” You deflected. Shauna shrugged before smirking at you. "Oh, she definitely did.” She leaned in closer and whispered in your ear. “But next time, let me know, and I can help you drive her up a wall.” You can’t fight the grin that took over your face. You spun her again as you spoke. "Well, she always did seem to get a little jealous when it came to us, Shippy.”

An hour had passed while you continued to dance with Shauna until a brash voice broke you both apart. “Sorry to interrupt you, lovebirds.” You and Shauna turned to Nat, with a visibly drunk Jackie being dragged behind her. “‘Lovebirds?’” Jackie questioned with a pout. “Jesus.” You muttered as they got closer.

Nat all but tossed Jackie into Shauna, and Jackie instantly melted into the form of her best friend. “She’s a mess. She needs to go home.” Jackie attempted to mumble something in protest, but it was muffled with her face in Shauna's shoulder. Natalie looked at Shauna expectantly. "Oh, I didn’t drive here; Callie dropped me off. And she hasn’t answered any of my texts, so I think she’s asleep.” Then both Shauna and Nat looked to you.

"Oh, come on.” You immediately protested. “I’m sorry, Y/n. You drove here and you barely had anything to drink; it’s the safest option.” Shauna being against you for this argument felt like a small betrayal to you. Shauna was right, and you didn't necessarily want anything bad to happen to anyone on their ride home. But that didn't mean you should have to be the one to take her home. “No, you know how I feel about her.” Jackie lifted her head and body from Shauna to complain. “Hey, I’m right here.” Natalie halfheartedly pushed her back into Shauna, and Jackie fell right back into her place on Shauna.

“No Shauna.” You tried to say it in a tone that left no room for debate, but of course Shauna persisted. “Y/n please? I’ll even go too. You’d actually be doing me a favor since I need a ride.” You were about to object further; tell her ‘no way’ when you looked at Jackie. She hadn’t stopped staring since she was brought over. Her eyes were so sad, and her leaning up against Shauna like she had no legs of her own made her look utterly helpless. You couldn’t fight the soft spot you still had for her, and when you looked at Shauna, it just solidified it more. You knew you weren’t going to be on the winning side of this argument. “Fine… FINE. I’ll do it.” Shauna, who you’re sure would’ve reached out and squeezed your hand if it hadn’t been holding Jackie’s form upright, mouthed a thank you.

You gathered your things and led Shauna, who was still supporting her best friend, to your car. As soon as you went to unlock the back door for Shauna to slide Jackie into, Jackie found enough drunken athleticism to slide over to the passenger's side door. You looked warily at Shauna, who halfheartedly tried to bring Jackie to the backseat. As soon as Jackie started whining about how she didn’t want to sit in the back, Shauna conceded and got into your back seat instead. You rolled your eyes. You really didn’t want to be stuck up front with Jackie, but it seemed you had no choice. You took a deep breath before getting into your seat and pulling out of the parking spot.

The ride was quiet; for the most part, you and Shauna occasionally spoke and reminisced about things you did together that last summer before college. You almost forgot about Jackie sitting silently in the passenger's seat, or you would have if she wasn’t staring at you and Shauna as you spoke fondly about times that didn’t include her. You were about to turn to head towards Jackie’s house when Shauna spoke up.

“Y/n, I hate to do this to you, but is there any way you can drop me off first?” You gave her a look in the rear view mirror that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’ Shauna looked at you sympathetically. You knew she didn’t want to do this to you on purpose. “I know, I’m sorry. I just need to make sure Callie’s alright; I haven’t left her alone this long since before her dad left.” You roll your eyes but adjust to head towards Shauna’s house.

When you pulled up to Shauna’s house, you could see there was a light on upstairs. Shauna sighs and mutters something under her breath about Callie being up at this hour and not texting her back. She scooted over and wrapped her arms around Jackie from behind the seat. "Night, Jax, see you soon.” She then got out and walked over to your door, then waited outside it for a moment with an expectant look on her face. “Aren’t you going to walk me to the door?” You smiled at the sentiment and got out, leaving the car door open, before you walked Shauna up to her porch. She enveloped you in a hug before you could utter a word of farewell.

She pulled back before speaking. “You are not allowed to not talk to me for more than a week, ever again. You hear me?” You laughed. “I’m serious, Y/n.” Shauna continued. “I promise I'll keep in touch, Shauna.” You said, genuinely. “You better.” She leaves you with a lingering kiss on your cheek before heading inside. When you turned to walk back to your car, you saw that Jackie watched the entire interaction. She had such a sad look on her face when you walked back, you felt like you were caught doing something that you weren't supposed to.

After you got back into the car, there was only a beat of silence before Jackie spoke up. “So you’re not, like… in love with Shauna now, right?” There was a hesitance in her voice; all her insecurity was laced into that one question. “What? Jackie, that's—” You tried, but she cut you off. “Cause I hope she likes my sloppy seconds.” She had rolled down the window to scream the sentiment out towards Shauna’s house, as if Shauna would hear her behind the closed door. You hastily pulled her back in, scrambling a little. You were very aware of how much noise Jackie was making at such a late hour; however, Jackie wasn’t while she was in her drunken state. “Jesus Jackie, shhhh. What’s wrong with you?” Jackie sat back in the passenger's seat with a pout and folded her arms. “I just don’t appreciate the way she’s been acting with you.”

“You don’t get to feel any way about how anyone acts with me. You lost that right a long time ago. Now let’s just go home, please.” Jackie lays her head back against the headrest and closes her eyes as she protests. “Noooooo.” How did you used to put up with her whining daily? This was exhausting. "No, seriously, Jackie. We have to go; it’s late, and I want to go to bed.” She continued drunkenly complaining. “I don’t wannaaaa.” You were desperate to not be alone with her anymore, so you tried to say something that would make her relent.

“Jackie, please, you have to go home. Jeff will be worried about you.” She shook her head against the window, practically falling asleep in your passenger's seat. You sighed. Of course, she was being stubborn with you. Twenty-five years of not talking, and she still acted the same. “What do you mean? Yes, he will.” You wouldn’t know; you don’t know how Jeff is, but it hurt more the longer that you stayed around Jackie, and you just needed to get away from her. She only laughed humorlessly at your comment as she slumped further into the seat. “Nuh-uh… Me and Jeff aren’t together anymore.”

The confession hit you like a ton of bricks, so much so that it left you speechless for a moment. “What? Are you serious?” She nodded, her eyes still closed. “Mhmm.” You had a million things that you wanted to ask—how, why—but the only thing that left your mouth was, “Do the others know?”

Only at this did her eyes slowly open, and she just stared vacantly down the dark street. “Nope.” Popping the ‘p’ when she said it. “Why?” She still refused to make eye contact with you when she answered. “The girls would just yell at me… Tell me that I hurt you for nothing. And I did; I know that. I don't have to have them tell me that I ruined the only good thing I’ve ever had when I left you.” You sat in silence for a beat, looking down at the steering wheel, as you tried desperately to process all that she said.

You turned back to face her when she continued speaking, finding her already looking at you for the first time during the whole conversation. “I’m sorry, by the way. For what I did. I really wish I was a better person for you; you deserved it.” Her eyes were illuminated by the glow of the street lights, showing that she was tearing up.

A younger version of yourself would have hopped over the center console to hug her the second you saw her anywhere close to crying. The most that the current you could muster was to break the intense eye contact and utter a half-hearted "Yeah, well… we can’t change the past.” There was a pause in conversation; the air was tense now that Jackie had aired out all her dirty laundry. Her voice was low as she resumed speaking. “I wish I wasn’t afraid of what would’ve happened with us. Maybe I’d be happy now. We probably would’ve had a good life.” You put the car in drive, as you replied. “Yeah, maybe.”

You drive to Jackie’s childhood home, having memorized its path from every corner of Wiskayok. You wanted to ask so much more, but debated whether it would upset her. Jackie, who seemed almost sober now, is slumped against the passenger door, looking out the window. She spoke, but you were too lost in thought to hear it. “I’m sorry, what was that?” She sighed. “I said, I know you. You obviously want to ask something. Go ahead; it won’t make me sad.” Her bluntness caught you by surprise, but then again, what about her didn’t nowadays?

“Well, how long has it been?” You don’t need to say what the question was pertaining to for Jackie to know what you meant. It’s a bittersweet feeling to know that, despite everything, she could still read you and know what you were thinking so well. She took a deep breath before she answered. “Almost a year now. It's why I wasn’t going to come this year; I couldn't face anyone. Not when I haven’t worked up the courage to tell them.” You nodded along as you continued driving. “Was there a reason?” She hesitated and turned to face you before she answered.

“Yeah, I just never could get over you. I still haven't, and I don’t think I ever will.” She said it so candidly that you were hoping you didn’t hear her correctly. You wanted to ignore the mixed feelings bubbling into your stomach, because now all of what she said the whole night was more than just high school nostalgia. More than simple ‘What if’ scenarios, and more than hints for you to read into. That was an admission, and you were so upset that that realization happened this late in her life. Now she had you thinking that you actually could have been happy together this whole time. You were so caught up that you almost flew past Jackie’s house.

You don’t say anything as you break and put the car in park. You kept looking at the steering wheel while Jackie tried desperately to meet your eyes, silently pleading for you to say something. All that you could think was that it was all for nothing. You were mostly afraid it was still the alcohol talking. You didn't want to get your hopes up for something that was only going to be true for as long as the booze was in her system.

“I think you should leave.” Jackie’s face dropped at your reaction, and almost immediately tears started to roll down her cheeks. “What? Y/n, no.” You still avoided her eyes. “Please, this isn't a conversation I want to have after you’ve been drinking. It’s best that you go inside.” At that, she braced herself in your car. “I’ve sobered up; please, can we talk about this?” She begged.

“Jackie, you have to get out of the car.” It took the last shred of your will to try to turn her away one more time. Jackie’s voice was hoarse as she yelled back at you. "No, I can’t. I can’t leave because if I get out, then I’ll never see you again, and it’s all my fault.” She was beyond being consoled by words. She was sobbing so much, you felt awful for upsetting her. Up until that point, you were doing your best not to get sucked in, but how could you deny her?

“Okay, okay.” You relented. You got out of the car, and for a moment, Jackie had a look of panic on her face, seeming ready to chase after you if you left her. You got to the passenger’s door, and as soon as you opened the door, Jackie grabbed onto you and held you in a hug. You mustered up the calmest voice that you could when you spoke next. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed into your shoulder, mumbling, “Please don’t leave.” over and over.

“Please, can you stay tonight? Can we just go inside and pretend that I didn’t mess it all up?” She sniffled into your shirt. You nodded, slowly rubbing her back while you tried to soothe her. When you were younger, you’d dreamt about this scenario and getting to tell Jackie ‘no.’ But that didn’t happen. Truth be told, you don’t think it took more than a second of thought. "Yeah, we can do that, Jax.”

Once she had calmed down, you gradually began to let her go while whispering gently for her to go inside. She grabs your hand as she guides you through a house that was once so familiar to you. Jackie had moved and changed some things around, but it still looked relatively the same.

She pulled you toward her old childhood bedroom. Something about it felt so different. But not much was changed aside from her replacing the pink carpeting with a gray color. It felt almost like a betrayal to change something that was once so sacred to you both. An escape from her parents, a place where you could kiss her safely. It all felt foreign, even if it was the same room you had snuck into countless times just to fall asleep together. Jackie had always hated sleeping alone. You guessed that never changed based on the situation you found yourself in now.

Your musings were interrupted by Jackie tapping your arm. You turned and found Jackie with an embarrassed look on her face. She faced away and showed that she was struggling to fully unzip her dress from the evening. You rolled your eyes as she held her hair up with one hand, assuring it wouldn’t be in the way. Gently holding her shoulder with one hand, you slowly pulled the zipper down with the other. As her dress was being undone, more and more of her back was being exposed to you. It was intimate; she knew it. She could still read you like the back of her hand, so she knew exactly what she was doing.

Once the dress was fully unzipped, your hand slowly dropped from her shoulder, softly tracing Jackie’s skin in its descent. She turned and looked right into your eyes. She didn’t break eye contact with you when she reached up and looped her arms around your neck. As if it were second nature, you placed your hands on her waist. “I’ve really missed you.” She spoke in a whispered tone, as if there were any other people around to hear you. The only time her eyes left yours was to glance at your lips. Her intentions were obvious, and you were never that strong-willed when it came to denying Jackie something that she wanted.

You found yourself leaning in before you could give it a second thought. The urge to fall right back into place with Jackie was too difficult to deny. Jackie notices the action and moves to meet you in the middle. Once you were only an inch from each other's lips, you felt Jackie pull you the rest of the way into her. Her lips pressed roughly against yours, trying to convey every emotion she still felt for you.

Her hands move from your neck to thread into your hair. The grip you had on her waist tightened, and you brought her body closer to you. Jackie let out a small moan at the contact. After years of not hearing it, the noise sounded heavenly. It only spurred you on further. You backed her up against the nearest wall, and Jackie made a small sound when she hit it. Her dress was slipping further and further down her body as you kept going. The noises Jackie was making, the way she'd occasionally ground her hips into you, searching for friction. You knew where this was heading, and as lovely as that idea was, you knew you needed to stop. Everything in you wanted to continue, but you knew you had to separate to avoid taking it further too quickly. You pulled away, leaving a few chaste kisses on her lips to avoid seeing her pout.

When you both pulled apart, she was panting heavily. Once Jackie caught her breath, her face broke out into the largest smile. She always used to smile like that after kissing you when you were younger. You had to admit that it made you happy to see that you still had that effect on her. Jackie disappeared into her bathroom to get into her pajamas. It was at this point that you became painfully aware that you were still in your clothes from the reunion. You tried to adjust your clothing to be able to sleep in it.

Jackie came out of the bathroom while you were attempting to make your clothes as comfortable as possible. “Hold on!” She disappeared from the room with a smile on her face. You could hear her footsteps retreat, some fumbling sounds from the hallway, and her footsteps returning. She came back with a box in her hands. After she placed it on the floor and opened it up, you could see that it was full of your old clothes.

“You kept all these?” You said in astonishment as you sifted through all the clothes she stole from you years ago. She suddenly seemed bashful, watching you go through your old sports apparel and flannels. “I—uh, yeah, it’s always good to have some extra clothes lying around.” After finding a shirt and sweats that you found suitable for the night, you looked at Jackie. She nervously fiddled with her fingers before she continued speaking. “They actually still smelled like you for a long time after... everything. And it was nice, you know, to have some reminders of you still here. But just so you know, this is just a loan. I want those clothes back.” You smiled at her, getting up to give her a hug before you went to change.

After you got into your old clothes that still miraculously fit very well, you crawled into her bed. Jackie hit the lights and walked over to the other side of the bed. You felt all the nostalgia hit you as you laid down on the soft sheets while Jackie climbed in as well. Her sheets and pillows smelled like her; it's comforting but brings a pit to your stomach at the same time. Laying in bed next to the love of your life for the first time in twenty-five years will do that to you, you guessed.

You laid flat on your back as Jackie curled into your side. She maneuvered your arm to hold her, effectively trapping herself against you. You both lay in the quiet of the dark room; the only light in the room was shining in from the streetlight outside. Jackie gingerly played with your fingers as you both sat in fulfilled silence. After a few minutes, Jackie turned her head to face to lay on your chest and held your torso.

She was barely awake when she whispered to you. “Promise me that you’ll still be here when I wake up.” Her voice was muffled from her face being pressed against your chest. She said it so delicately, pleading with you. You were so caught up in the fondness of the moment that you took a beat to answer. After not immediately receiving an answer, Jackie opened her eyes and looked up at you. The sleepy expression on her face was wiped away, and you could see just how scared she was of never seeing you again. You'd do anything to never see her afraid like that again.

“I promise.” She took you in once more before leaning in and gently kissing you. It was innocent and lazy, kissing you just because she missed doing it. As if she were making up for lost time. Your heart thumped with an unearned feeling of domesticity.

It only took a moment for Jackie to detach from you. She rolled to face away from you but scooched herself back to be flush against you. You took the hint and wrapped your arm around her waist. You could feel the grin that Jackie had on her face without even seeing it. She then placed her hand over yours and laced her fingers in between yours. No more than a minute or two later, Jackie fully relaxed into you. Her breathing slowly evened out as she fell asleep, still keeping a tight grip on you.

Tomorrow, you’d plague yourself with the questions of what this meant for you and Jackie going forward. As for tonight, you just missed the feeling of holding her while you slept, and you’re not prepared to continue on without experiencing it every night. The rhythmic sound of her breathing and the smell of her conditioner brought a comfort to you that you had long forgotten.

A Twisted Romantic Fairytale (Wally Clark x Reader

Word Count: 3K

A tragic tale of two star-crossed lovers.

Warnings: Death

The homecoming game of 1983 was a tragic tale of two star crossed lovers perishing beside one another. It’s a story for the history books and one Split River High would remember in the years going forward. One that students remember as a devastating if not twisted romantic fairytale. Two young lovers bound together for eternity.

Homecoming Game - 1983.

Excitement runs rampant through the air as everybody floods into the stadium, eager chattering of students combined with the cheerful melodies of the marching band fill me with joy. It’s not as if I haven’t been here before, I’m no stranger to the blinding lights of Split River football stadium. In fact I’ve been cheering on the sidelines at every football game for the past four years or so, but tonight is different. I’m unsure of whether the electricity I can feel within the air has always been there and I have simply never noticed, or if it has something to do with the fact that this is my last homecoming game of my high school career. It’s the one night that counts. After all, it’s hard to miss the countless recruiters already situated within the stands.

“There you are! God, I’ve been looking all over for you!”

Upon hearing the familiar voice, I can’t help but smile. Turning my attention away from the water fountain where I had previously been filling my water bottle, to see the dark haired jock that makes my heart race.

Wally Clark. Where do I even begin to describe this boy?

I first met Wally on the second day of senior year. My family had just moved to Split River from Amber, Nevada, following my father’s transfer within the police department. Having accepted a promotion, despite the fact it meant we had to uproot our entire lives and move almost two thousand miles away.

It’s fair to say that I had been a complete mess, struggling to find my feet in a town that was the complete opposite to everything I had been used to. Not to mention the constant arguing between my parents caused by the stress of the move. Feeling so overwhelmed by my entire life changing so quickly, I couldn’t bring myself to attend first period and instead found myself tucked away in the bleachers, smoking a cigarette with shaky hands.

It was at that moment that Wally had found me, with a warm smile on his face, he comforted me. Welcomed me to the strange new town of Split River. Offered to sit with me in the cafeteria at lunch despite being a total stranger. However, something about the way things took place felt incredibly natural. As though this was the way things were meant to be.

Wally and I became inseparable from that moment forward, he encouraged me to join the cheerleading team. Insisting that it was only because he knew it was a passion of mine and not because it meant I would be forced to go to the football games that he just so happened to play. And how could I say no to that charming grin?

Throughout the years, we both learnt a lot about one another. He listened and supported me as I discussed my turbulent homelife, detailing how my parents seemed to be getting closer and closer to divorce by the day and how in turn I became practically invisible to them. I was there for him following every argument he had with his mother, reminding him that his sole purpose in life was not just football. Ensuring he knew that he had other talents and qualities that were just as good if not better than his football skills.

We weren’t best friends, we were each other’s rock through thick and thin. So when he kissed me on the field, following yet another win for the team, I felt like I was floating on air. Unearthing all of the feelings I harbored for the jock, even if I had spent all that time trying to bury them.

Wally’s heart is so pure and full of love. Being on the receiving end of that love to the fullest extent is the greatest joy I will ever be able to experience. To have someone be such a bright light in your life is truly a blessing.

So if I had to describe Wally Clark? I’d say he was an angel brought down from heaven just for me.

“Excited for the big game my love?” Wally asks as he finally reaches me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and placing a soft kiss on my temple.

“More nervous than excited. Kristine’s had us practicing a new move and with all the recruiters, I’m just scared I’m going to let the nerves get to me and mess up.” I admit, reaching my own hand up to hold his that remains over my shoulder as we begin to stroll through the crowds towards the locker rooms.

“You’re a superstar!” Wally exclaims, to which I’m unable to contain my laughter. “I mean it! You’re gonna smash it, honestly. I’ve never seen someone make cheerleading look as mesmerizing as you do. It’s borderline hypnotic, I’m telling you.”

“Sure, yeah, whatever you say.” I reply, tone sarcastic, yet his words of encouragement do make me feel ten times better. “Anyway, what about my favorite player? Are you feeling okay?”

I don’t miss the pained look that flashes briefly crosses his face before returning to his usual winning beam. I’m sure he’s just ready to get the game over with, wanting to return to some sense of normality and let loose at the dance. No longer having to deal with the overwhelming amount of pressure that his mom places on him to be the best.

“I guess I’m a little worried. My knee has been playing up for the past few days and coach said I needed to rest it, which is what I’ve been trying to do. I don’t know, I just don’t want to let anyone down, especially not my mom. Or you.”

As Wally finishes speaking we reach the doors of the locker room and I remove myself from his embrace to stand in front of him. Taking his hands gently in mine as I gaze up at the sweet boy. Noticing the slight gleam of worry and shame hidden deep within his coffee brown eyes.

“Whatever happens out there, you won’t be letting anyone down, I promise.” My voice is soft as I speak to him, wanting him to truly understand how little his performance matters. “Your mom may be disappointed but she’ll get over it. As long as you’re happy, healthy and alive, that’s the most important thing. Just don’t push yourself too hard, I know how important it is to you that you make your mom proud but she’ll be proud of you no matter what. I mean, how could she not be? You’re amazing Wally Clark.”

The footballer smiles, wrapping his arms around me before pulling me into his body tightly. Resting my head against his chest, I close my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to relax in his embrace and breathing in deeply to take in the deep oaky scent that is Wally. He rests his head atop of mine and I can feel him squeeze me gently, hands scrunching up the fabric of my t-shirt as he does so.

“Wally Clark, better get yourself in that locker room right now! It’s almost showtime!” I hear the coach yell and my boyfriend sighs, slowly releasing me from his tight hold.

“Now go show everybody just how amazing you are.” I whisper, lovingly gazing up at him.

He nods as though in confirmation with my previous statement, before taking my face in his hands and slowly leaning down to interlock his lips with mine. Delicately and with the remaining hint of nerves racing through his body, his lips move gently with mine. My cheeks feel burning hot compared to the brisk coldness of his hands, caused by the icy fall winds, though I don’t seem to mind. Embracing the sweetness of Wally’s mouth and the tenderness of every move he makes.

It’s with much reluctance that we pull away from one another, however, after catching a glimpse of the coach’s disapproving look, I know the moment is over. Sending the jock to get himself ready with a swift peck to the cheek, him offering me a cheeky wink in return as we both slink off to our respective locker rooms.

The next time I see Wally is when the team makes their grand entrance onto the field. A big cheesy grin rests on my face as I hear the crowds' screams of support, waving flags and homemade banners to cheer on the team. With a few cheers of my own, a couple of the girls and I begin to hype up the crowd even more, jumping wildly and encouraging their yells.

As I shoot a quick glance over to the field, I’m able to spot my boyfriend easily, even with his helmet on. Smiling brightly at me even as he runs towards his team to discuss their play. My heart flutters knowing that he still makes an effort to look for me even as the game is about to begin.

“Alright girls, you know what to do!” Kristina shouts, alerting us to take up our positions and prepare for the first routine of the night.

Noticing the game is about to commence, I feel myself worrying less about messing up the performance, focusing solely on Wally and his uplifting words from moments earlier. Sharing gleeful smiles with my fellow cheerleaders, I can’t help but feel a sense of excitement as the music roars through the stadium.

The next few minutes pass by in a blur, with the Split River football team taking an early victory and our routine flowing perfectly without a single fault or mistake. It’s almost too good to be true.

With our final move only seconds away, I feel the nerves return once more as I boost myself into the hands of the other girls. Their hands wrapped around my ankles and calves to ensure my safety and support whilst in the air. It’s only when I’m hoisted into the air that my stomach twists. Something doesn’t feel right but I’m unable to do anything. Everything happens in slow motion and as I catch sight of the ground looming towards me, I’m hit instantly by the fact that I’m not going to make my mark. I’m not going to land firmly in the hands of the girls beneath me.

I suppose the one good thing about all of this is that I only have a split second to panic before my body plummets to the hard asphalt below my feet. The thump my body makes as it slams against the ground is enough to make anybody squeal.

Cheerleaders scream. Music cuts off.

Then I simply feel nothing.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wally’s the first to notice the chaos unfolding at the side of the field. Distracted by whatever seems to be taking place, he doesn’t notice the opposing team's player bolting towards him. He lands with a grunt, knee buckling and sending a sharp shooting pain through the length of his leg.

As he rises to his feet, he hears the whistle blowing repeatedly, noticing the chaos begin to grow larger. With furrowed brows he finds himself jogging towards the crowd, even if it does cause him a significant amount of pain that he tries desperately to hide.

Pushing through the screaming group of footballers and cheerleaders, it’s at that moment that he sees her. Lay unmoving against the concrete, his heart stops momentarily. Feeling sick to his stomach at the sight of his beautiful girl lifeless, body contorted in ways he didn’t know physically possible.

Wally drops to his knees, students stepping away from him as he does so. Not knowing how to comfort the poor boy in this time of need. The physical pain he is feeling in his leg is nothing compared to the emotional turmoil he is going through right now. Dragging her body on to his knees and cradling her delicately, in fear of breaking her anymore.

With clouded vision, he stares down at his love, body releasing wails and sobs he had never once made in his life. Blood stains his hands, his jersey, his trousers and yet he doesn’t care. Overwhelmed by his grief, watching the color drain from her skin. He doesn’t think anything could be more painful, nothing in his life could compare to the trauma of his girlfriend sprawled out in his arms.

Wally struggles with the ambulance crew as they begin to remove her body, his coach restraining him as they place her in the back of an ambulance. The jock barely acknowledges his coach telling him that he’s been benched as he watches with heartbreak as the ambulance drives away and in his distress all he can do is cry on the sidelines.

With his mom standing behind him, badgering him about winning a scholarship and needing him in the game, Wally feels nothing but rage. All his life, he’d done right by his mom, wanting her to be proud of him, wanting her to acknowledge his successes but right now, he wanted nothing more than to tell her to close her mouth.

Instead, he finds himself marching over to the coach, begging to be put back into the game, arguing that he needs something to take his mind off what he just witnessed and that he is in fact in the correct headspace to win. And somehow, his efforts pay off much to his surprise. Back in the game, Wally has more strength than ever. Fuelled by his rage and his grief.

Whilst he finds it distasteful and disrespectful that the game continues despite his sweet girl losing her life only moments before, he plays with the knowledge that she’d want him to win. She would want him to succeed and so he tries. He tries for her because if not for her, then he has no other reason to keep going. She was the one good thing in his life that kept him from going off the deep and without her, he doesn’t know how he will continue. So for now, he simply focuses on the game.

The sharp pain in his knee grows stronger and with every passing minute he struggles more and more. Trying desperately to ignore it, he claims the ball, running at full speed towards the touchline and yet as he runs directly towards an opposing player, he makes no effort to slow down. Not thinking about the potential consequences of his actions.

He hits the ground with a devastating blow. World shrouded in darkness almost immediately. However, he feels more at peace than he ever has.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I watch with bated breath as Wally tumbles aggressively to the floor, the crack ripples throughout the stadium and I can’t help but gasp. Throwing my hands across my mouth as I fixate on the footballers rushing to his aid. My mind races at one million thoughts per minute, why did he go back out onto the field? Why didn’t he move out of the way? How could he be so reckless?

I’m so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I almost miss the tall jock standing watching over his own body as people hopelessly attempt to resuscitate his cold body. Before I can even react, I’m slowly walking towards him, even with his back towards me I can tell he’s in pain. Hands in his hair, tugging slightly as he comes to the realization of what has happened.

My hands are shaking the closer I get, breath caught in my throat as I swallow the lump in my throat. I’m not entirely sure why I’m scared, perhaps simply afraid of what this means for us now?

“Wally.” My voice is small, timid. Hands clasped together over my chest as I anxiously await his reaction.

As though he doesn’t believe it, Wally’s body goes stiff. When he finally faces me, his mouth falls open in shock, eyes holding the same softness that they did in life and I smile hesitantly. He’s the first to break the tension, scooping me up in his arms and holding me tighter than he ever has before.

“I’m sorry Wally, I’m so sorry, I promise I didn’t mean for this to happen.” My voice breaks as I speak, tears staining my cheeks. “I should’ve tried harder and then this would never have happened. You’d still be alive. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Darling it’s okay. We’re together now, yeah?” Wally states, placing his arms on my shoulders as he fully takes me in, holding me at arm’s length as if he’s checking I’m okay. Not that it really matters now.

“What were you thinking? Going back out was so stupid and irresponsible and reck-”

“I didn’t want to let you down.” Wally whispers, eyes falling to his feet in shame. “I wanted to make it all worth it, I wanted you to be proud of me because I knew you’d be looking down on me.”

“Wally, I-”

“I don’t think I could live without you sweetheart. I don’t think I’d want to.” He admits, bringing one hand to my face, thumb stroking my cheek softly. “Seeing you there, all limp and lifeless, I didn’t just lose you. I lost something within myself too.”

“I’m so sorry.” I sob, allowing myself to release all the emotions built up inside of me.

“I still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world.” Wally confesses, smiling adoringly at me. “I still do.”

A quiet giggle escapes my mouth, pulling the tall boy towards me and pressing my lips roughly to his. Wanting, no, needing to feel him against me. To feel the way his mouth dances with mine and the way his hands tenderly caress my waist. I just need him.

“So where do we go from here?” The jock questions, our foreheads restings against one another as we catch our breath

“I don’t know, but as long as you’re with me, I don’t really care.”

636 notes View Post

mitsukii-07

1 month ago

ALWAYS, FOREVER :: JACKIE TAYLOR

⏝ི ✿ 𝓢𝗬𝗡. a tender chronicle of two souls intertwined through secret languages and stolen kisses, as they shatter beneath society's frost only to thaw into truth under courage's warm light.

[cw.] — a narrative shaped by Spring Into Summer by lizzy mcalpine; an au where the crash never occurred. jackie, constrained by compulsory heteronormativity, navigates the complexities of longing and self-discovery in 1996’s quiet ache.

jackie taylor was born in december, a winter child with snowflakes in her hair and frost on her eyelashes. you could see it in her eyes—hazelnut blonde, wide and unblinking, framed with lashes so thick they cast shadows on her cheeks—the innate understanding that beauty was both weapon and armor. she resembled a wide-eyed doll come to life, porcelain-perfect and untouchable, a girl who learned early how to smile just right, how to laugh at jokes that weren't funny, how to hold herself with the straight-backed posture of someone who knew she was being watched.

you were born in april, a spring child with pollen dusting your shoulders and petals unfurling in your lungs. your curls were the color of soil after rain, rich and earthy, framing a face that was all soft planes and curious eyes. you had lips that naturally pouted, as if perpetually on the verge of asking another question. while jackie stood straight, you moved like water finding its way downhill, following currents invisible to others, bending but never breaking.

the first time you met, you were both four years old, playing in a sandbox that was really just a glorified cat litter box behind wiskayok elementary's pre-k building. jackie had a plastic shovel and a determination to build the perfect castle. you had nothing but your hands and an imagination that transformed each grain of sand into universes.

"you're doing it wrong," jackie said, watching you pat formless mounds with your palms.

you looked up, squinting against the late summer sun, and replied, "there's no wrong way to play."

jackie considered this with the serious expression of a child contemplating philosophy for the first time. then she handed you her extra bucket.

"here. now you can make towers."

instead, you filled the bucket with dandelions and placed it atop her meticulous castle like a crown.

that was how it began—the bunny and the doe, an unlikely pair bound by the mysterious gravity that draws children together before they learn to question why they like who they like.

⚘

in the arithmetic of childhood friendships, you and jackie defied every equation. she was all clean lines and planned adventures; you were smudged margins and spontaneous detours. she collected friends like trading cards, carefully arranged and displayed; you collected stories and kept them pressed between the pages of your mind like wildflowers.

jackie's house was a showcase of suburban aspiration—gleaming hardwood floors that her mother polished every sunday, furniture arranged at perfect right angles, family photos in matched frames documenting their collective perfection. the refrigerator door was a museum of accomplishments; jackie's straight-A report cards, certificates of achievement, newspaper clippings of her youth soccer victories.

your house was a labyrinth of books—stacked on stairs, teetering on tables, forming makeshift furniture of their own. your father, an english professor, believed in the sanctity of the written word; your mother, a nurse with the soul of a poet, believed in the healing power of stories. they gave you a childhood scripted by dickens and alcott and austen, letting you run wild through fictional worlds when the real one seemed too constrained.

in jackie's bedroom, everything had its place. trophies on shelves, stuffed animals arranged by size, clothes sorted by color and season. you spent countless afternoons lying on her pink carpet, watching her organize her life into perfect compartments while you read aloud from whatever book had captured your imagination that week.

"don't you ever get bored?" jackie asked once, sitting at her vanity, practicing french braids on her own hair. "reading about other people's lives instead of living your own?"

you looked up from your dog-eared copy of "anne of green gables" and said, "i'm not reading about other people's lives. i'm living a thousand lives in addition to my own."

jackie's expression flickered between confusion and fascination. "i don't think i could ever be like you," she said finally.

"why would you want to be?" you asked. "i already have me. the world needs you to be jackie."

she smiled at that, a rare genuine smile that reached her bunny eyes and made them crinkle at the corners. "you're so weird," she said, but she said it like it was a compliment.

in your room, books formed a fortress around your bed. posters of the cranberries and your favorite french movies covered the walls. your dresser was a archaeological dig of half-finished stories written in notebooks, fragments of poems on loose paper, quotes copied from favorite books onto index cards.

"how do you find anything in here?" jackie would ask, perched primly on the edge of your unmade bed, afraid to disturb the creative chaos.

"i don't find things," you'd reply. "things find me when i need them."

she'd roll her eyes but submit to the ritual of lying beside you on the floor, heads close together, while you pointed out shapes in the textured ceiling and spun stories about cloud kingdoms and star wars, years before either of you had heard of george lucas.

between your houses lay wiskayok itself—a town too small to hide in but too big to truly know everyone. you navigated its streets like parallel rivers, sometimes converging, sometimes diverging, but always flowing toward some shared, unnamed sea.

the summer before sixth grade was the summer of secret languages. twelve years old, teetering on the precipice between childhood and something more complex, you and jackie created ways to communicate that no one else could understand.

it began with a simple code—replacing letters with numbers, leaving notes in each other's lockers, giggling when others couldn't decipher them. then came the elaborate hand signals, each flick of a wrist or tap of fingers conveying entire sentences. by july, you had developed an entire vocabulary of facial expressions, able to conduct silent conversations across crowded rooms.

it was also the summer jackie's body began its betrayal, developing before yours in ways that drew new kinds of attention. boys who had pulled her hair in fourth grade now found reasons to stand close to her, to brush against her in hallways. girls who had been friendly rivals now measured themselves against her, finding themselves wanting.

you watched this metamorphosis with a scientist's curiosity and a poet's heart, cataloging the changes in your best friend like phases of the moon. the way she started wearing her hair down instead of in the practical ponytail of her soccer-playing days. the careful application of lip gloss where once she'd just slathered on cherry chapstick. the measured pace of her walk, slowed from its former eager bounce to something more deliberate, more aware.

"do you think i'm pretty?" she asked one night, both of you lying on the trampoline in her backyard, the august sky a tapestry of stars above you.

"you know you are," you answered, turning to study her profile in the dim glow of distant porch lights.

"no, but do you think i'm pretty?" her voice had an urgency to it, a need that transcended the typical reassurance-seeking of preteen girls.

you propped yourself up on one elbow, looking down at her face—those wide eyes reflecting pinpricks of starlight, that perfect nose, those lips now slightly parted in anticipation of your answer.

"i think you're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen," you said, the truth spilling out before you could filter it through the appropriate lens of girlhood friendship.

her face changed then, softened and opened like a night-blooming flower. "show me," she whispered.

and there, beneath the indifferent gaze of distant galaxies, you leaned down and pressed your lips to hers in a kiss that lasted three heartbeats—one for courage, one for discovery, one for a revelation neither of you was ready to name.

when you pulled away, jackie's eyes remained closed for a moment longer, her lashes dark crescents against her cheeks. when she opened them, there was a new language being born between you, one with no words or gestures, one written in quickened pulses and hitched breaths.

"we should practice," she said finally, pragmatic even in this uncharted territory. "for when we kiss boys."

"for boys," you agreed, though even then, you knew no boy's lips would ever fit against yours the way jackie's did.

that became another secret language—kisses stolen in the shadows of her basement during movie nights, in the back corner of the library behind the reference section, in the equipment shed after soccer practice when everyone else had gone home. always under the guise of "practice," always followed by giggles and performance reviews, as if you were merely rehearsing for some future that required this skill.

by the time school started again, you had become fluent in each other, able to translate the slightest change in breathing, the smallest shift in posture. it was a dictionary written in skin and breath, a grammar of touch and taste.

a language destined to become a dead one far sooner than either of you could have imagined.

⚘

eighth grade arrived with the subtle seismic shifts of tectonic plates—imperceptible to most, but you felt the tremors beneath your feet. jackie joined the advanced soccer team, began spending weekends at tournaments in neighboring towns. you joined the literary magazine, disappearing into the cocoon of the newspaper office during lunch periods.

the kisses became less frequent, though more intense when they happened. there was a desperation to them now, as if jackie was trying to memorize the feel of you before something took you away from her.

"jeff sadecki asked me to the harvest dance," she told you one october afternoon. you were lying on your stomachs in her bedroom, algebra homework spread before you, though neither of you had written anything for twenty minutes.

"are you going to go?" you asked, carefully keeping your voice neutral, tracing the edge of your textbook with one finger.

"i think so," she said, watching your finger move. "my mom would literally explode with joy. she's been hinting about me and jeff since his mom and her started that book club."

you nodded, understanding the invisible architecture of expectations that had been built around jackie since birth. good grades. soccer excellence. student council. and now, the perfect boyfriend—handsome enough, smart enough, from the right kind of family. jeff sadecki with his easy smile and varsity jacket already as an eighth grader, being groomed for high school glory just as jackie was.

"he's nice," you offered, because it was true, and because you knew that was what jackie needed to hear.

"yeah," she agreed, not meeting your eyes. "he's nice."

that night, when she kissed you goodbye at your front door—a risky move given the well-lit porch and curtainless windows—there was a finality to it that made your chest ache.

"just because i'm going to the dance with him doesn't mean anything changes with us," she whispered against your lips.

but you were the reader of stories, the one who could see foreshadowing in everyday moments, who understood the inevitable trajectory of narrative arcs. you knew an ending when you tasted one.

"nothing ever stays the same, jackie," you said, pulling back to look into those bunny eyes, now shining with unshed tears. "that's okay. that's how life works."

she shook her head, suddenly fierce. "not us. we're different."

you wanted to believe her. for a moment, standing there with her cold hands framing your face, you almost did.

the fault lines continued to spread throughout that year. jeff became jackie's boyfriend in the official, going-steady sense. you started spending lunches with lottie, who shared your interest in astrology and tarot, and laura lee, whose fervent christianity somehow complemented your more pagan sensibilities rather than clashing with it. different lunch tables became different social circles became different weekend activities.

the last time you and jackie kissed was the night before high school started. she had come to your house, unexpected, climbing the tree outside your window like she used to do in elementary school when her parents were fighting and she needed escape.

"i'm scared," she admitted, sitting cross-legged on your bed, looking smaller than she had in months.

"of high school?" you asked, closing the book you'd been reading.

she shook her head. "of everything. of not being good enough. of being exactly what everyone expects and nothing more. of—" she paused, looking down at her hands. "of how i feel when I'm with you."

the confession hung between you, heavier than any silence you'd shared.

"how do you feel when you're with me?" you asked, though you knew. of course you knew. you felt it too—the rightness, the completion, the sense of coming home that no other friendship or relationship had ever given you.

"like i'm real," she whispered. "like i don't have to pretend."

you moved then, crossing the small distance between you, taking her face in your hands as she had held yours so many times. "you never have to pretend with me."

the kiss that followed was different from all the others—not practice, not play, but promise. a vow written in the press of lips and the tangle of tongues, in the way her hands fisted in your shirt and yours threaded through her hair. you tasted salt and realized she was crying, or maybe you both were, tears mingling in the seam where your mouths met.

when you finally broke apart, breathing hard, foreheads still touching, jackie spoke words that would echo through the empty corridors of your future;

"i can't be this. i'm sorry, but i can't."

"this?" you gestured between you. "you mean being friends?"

"you know that's not what i mean." her voice dropped to a whisper. "the other stuff. it has to stop. it's—it's not right."

the words landed like a slap. "not right?"

"it's disgusting," she said, but her voice wavered on the word, betraying the lie. "i'm with jeff now. i think i love him."

you stepped back as if burned. "you don't mean that."

"i do," she insisted. "we're not kids anymore. it's time to grow up."

high school dawned crisp and clear, a perfect september morning that felt like a mockery of your shattered heart. the hallways of wiskayok high were wider than those of the middle school, the ceilings higher, the social hierarchies more rigidly enforced. by lunchtime on the first day, everyone knew their place—or at least, knew where they were supposed to aspire to sit.

jackie slid effortlessly into her predetermined role; freshman soccer star, girlfriend of sophomore football player jeff sadecki, potential homecoming court material despite her young age. she walked the halls with a confidence that looked genuine to everyone who hadn't spent a decade learning her tells—the slight tension in her shoulders, the too-wide smile, the way she checked her reflection in every available surface.

you found your niche in the spaces between expectations. too smart to be dismissed, too pretty in your unconventional way to be entirely outcast, too unapologetically yourself to be fully embraced by any single clique. you spent your lunch periods in the library or the courtyard with lottie and laura lee, an unlikely trio bound by your shared appreciation for the mysteries that existed just beyond the veil of everyday life.

lottie, with her dark eyes that seemed to see straight through pretense, never asked why you flinched when Jackie and her soccer teammates passed your table. laura lee, whose faith gave her a compassion rare in the gladiatorial arena of high school, simply passed you extra cookies from her immaculately packed lunch on the days when jackie and jeff were particularly demonstrative in the hallways.

you watched from a distance as jackie became more polished, more perfect, more packaged for public consumption. her natural grace on the soccer field translated to a carefully choreographed performance of ideal teenage girlhood off it. by sophomore year, she was captain of the jv team, dating the varsity quarterback, maintaining a gpa that kept her solidly in the top ten percent without threatening the true academic overachievers.

you bloomed differently—unfurling rather than constructing, growing toward whatever light called to you rather than the one you were expected to seek. your essays won state competitions. your poems were published in literary journals that usually only accepted college students' work. a short story you wrote about two childhood friends who communicated through a secret language earned you a summer workshop at the state university, where professors spoke of your voice as "astonishingly mature" and "hauntingly authentic."

for two years, you and jackie enacted an elaborate performance of polite distance. you acknowledged each other with nods in hallways, exchanged bland pleasantries when mutual activities forced interaction. to outsiders, you were former friends who had drifted apart as childhood companions often do. only you knew the truth of what had been lost.

until junior year, when the fault lines that had been dormant suddenly ruptured.

⚘

it happened at shauna shipman's halloween party, one of those high school gatherings that seemed destined for disaster from its conception. parents out of town, a house too nice to risk trashing but too tempting not to use, alcohol flowing freely despite most attendees being years from legal drinking age.

you hadn't planned to go. parties were jackie's domain, not yours. but lottie had insisted, claiming the veil between worlds was thinnest on halloween, and what better place to observe the unmasking of true selves than at a costume party?

so there you were, dressed as ophelia in the depths of her madness—flower crown askew on your curls, vintage nightgown artfully torn and stained with watercolors to suggest river water, eyes dramatically lined to hint at beautiful despair.

"bit on the nose, isn't it?" lottie commented when she picked you up, herself resplendent as some pagan goddess with antlers woven into her dark hair.

"literature is always on the nose," you replied. "that's why it hurts so much."

you didn't plan to stay long—just enough to appease lottie, maybe talk to a few people from your ap literature class who might appreciate your costume's details. what you didn't plan for was jackie, three drinks past her usual limit, dressed as a playboy bunny—an outfit that played up both her soccer-toned body and the nickname you had given her so many years ago.

she saw you from across the room, those wide eyes growing impossibly wider. for a moment, the carefully constructed mask slipped, and you saw your jackie—the girl who had handed you a sand bucket, who had let you read aloud for hours, who had kissed you beneath a canopy of stars.

then jeff's arm slid around her waist, and the mask snapped back into place.

you retreated to the relative quiet of the kitchen, hoping to find water or perhaps even a quieter exit. instead, you found yourself cornered by travis, a quiet boy from your calculus class who had been working up the courage to talk to you for weeks.

"your costume is amazing," he said, sincerity evident in his voice. "you actually look like you stepped out of a pre-raphaelite painting."

you smiled, genuinely surprised by his art history reference. "thank you. i wasn't sure anyone would get it."

"i did a project on millais last year," he explained, then launched into an enthusiastic if slightly nervous discussion of victorian art that was actually interesting enough to distract you from your desire to leave.

you didn't notice jackie watching from the doorway, her bunny ears askew, her eyes narrowed with an emotion too complex to name.

later, you would piece together what happened from fragmented accounts and your own blurred memories; jackie, drunk and emotional, confronting jeff about some perceived slight. jeff, equally intoxicated, saying something careless. jackie, storming off to the bathroom. you, excusing yourself from travis to get some air on the back porch. the paths crossing in the hallway.

"having fun with travis?" jackie's voice had an edge you'd never heard before.

"he's nice," you said, echoing her words about jeff from so long ago.

"nice," she repeated, almost sneering. "is that what you want? nice?"

"what do you think i want, jackie?" the question came out tired rather than confrontational.

she stepped closer, close enough that you could smell the vodka cranberries on her breath, could see the smudge in her otherwise perfect eyeliner. "i think you want what you can't have."

"that's rich, coming from you."

"what is that supposed to mean?"

"it means you're the one who walked away, not me." the words came out sharper than you intended, years of carefully contained hurt suddenly finding release.

jackie's face contorted, a kaleidoscope of emotions shifting too quickly to track. "you think i wanted to? you think i had a choice?"

"we all have choices, jackie. every day."

"easy for you to say." her voice dropped to a harsh whisper. "you get to be you. free and artistic and not caring what anyone thinks. i don't have that luxury."

"it's not a luxury. it's courage."

she recoiled as if slapped. "so i'm a coward now?"

"i didn't say that."

"you didn't have to." jackie's eyes filled with tears that she angrily blinked away. "you've always been so fucking superior, haven't you? so sure you know everything about everyone's heart."

"i never claimed to know everything," you said quietly. "just yours."

something broke in her expression then—the final wall crumbling. "you don't, though. you don't know what it's like to feel like you're rotting from the inside out. to know that everything you're supposed to want, everything you've been raised to chase, feels like ash in your mouth compared to—" she stopped abruptly.

"compared to what, jackie?"

"compared to one minute with you," she whispered, defeat and revelation mingling in her voice.

what happened next was inevitable as gravity—her hands finding your face, your bodies colliding against the hallway wall, mouths meeting with the desperate hunger of the long-starved. it was nothing like your childhood kisses, nothing like your tentative teenage explorations. this was excavation, archaeology, mining for something precious thought lost forever.

and like all such desperate digs, it caused a collapse.

"what the fuck?"

jeff's voice shattered the moment. you broke apart to find him standing at the end of the hallway, face twisted in confusion and dawning anger. behind him, a small crowd had gathered, drawn by the promise of drama.

jackie froze, her face draining of color. you watched as her eyes darted from jeff to the onlookers, saw the exact moment when panic overtook every other emotion.

"it's not—she just—i was trying to get her off me," jackie stammered, stepping away from you as if burned.

the words hit like physical blows. you stared at her, unable to process this ultimate betrayal.

"jesus, i always knew there was something weird about her," someone in the crowd murmured.

"fucking dyke," someone else said, not bothering to lower their voice.

jackie looked at you, naked terror in her eyes. "i'm sorry," she mouthed silently.

but you were already moving, pushing through the crowd, ignoring the taunts and whispers, running from the house with flower petals from your crown scattering behind you like ophelia's sanity breaking apart on the current.

the aftermath was as brutal as high school could make it. for you, at least. somehow, jackie emerged relatively unscathed—the popular girl who had been accosted by her strange former friend, the victim rather than the participant. jeff, after initial anger, took her back. her soccer teammates closed ranks around her. the story morphed in the retelling until you were the predator, she the innocent prey.

lottie and laura lee stood by you, fierce in their loyalty. travis, surprisingly, became another ally, walking you to classes when the whispers grew too loud, sharing his notes on days when you couldn't face the hallways. but high school was still high school, and the weight of being suddenly, unwillingly visible was suffocating.

winter came early that year, november bringing snow that usually waited until december. you watched it fall from the window of your bedroom, wondering if the universe was mocking you with its metaphors—jackie's season descending before its time, burying the world in cold silence.

you didn't see her outside of classes you couldn't avoid. she kept her eyes down when forced into proximity, her face a mask of practiced indifference. only once did you catch her mask slip—in the girls' bathroom during fifth period, when she thought herself alone. you entered silently, saw her gripping the sink, staring at her reflection with such naked self-loathing that you almost went to her, almost reached out.

then she noticed you in the mirror and the mask slammed back into place. she left without washing her hands or saying a word.

december brought holiday preparations and the temporary reprieve of everyone being too busy with exams and family obligations to maintain active torment. you threw yourself into writing, producing a series of poems that your english teacher described as "disturbingly beautiful" and urged you to submit to collegiate competitions.

january crawled by, february a blur of gray skies and slush-covered sidewalks. you survived by disappearing into books, into words, into the worlds you created where endings could be rewritten and love didn't collapse under the weight of expectation.

and then came march, with its false promises of thaw, its teasing glimpses of sun between snow flurries. you were sitting in the library during lunch, lost in sylvia plath's "ariel," when a shadow fell across your page.

"can we talk?"

jackie's voice, so familiar yet strange after months of silence. you looked up to find her standing awkwardly before you, clutching the strap of her backpack like a lifeline.

"i don't think we have anything to say to each other." your voice came out steadier than you felt.

"please." one word, but it contained oceans.

you gathered your books slowly, giving yourself time to rebuild the walls her presence immediately threatened to crumble. "fine. where?"

"the old equipment shed? after school?"

the location choice wasn't lost on you—the site of so many of your secret meetings in earlier days, now abandoned as the school had built newer facilities closer to the main fields.

"i'll be there at 3:30," you said, not looking at her. "i won't wait long."

she nodded and left quickly, as if afraid you might change your mind.

you told yourself you wouldn't go. told yourself it was masochism, not closure. told yourself there was nothing she could say that would matter now.

but at 3:25, you found yourself walking across the still-frozen field toward the shed, your breath clouding before you in the march chill.

jackie was already there, pacing the small interior, her varsity jacket pulled tight against the cold. she stopped when you entered, her eyes wide and uncertain.

"you came," she said, as if she couldn't quite believe it.

"i said i would." you remained near the door, unwilling to step fully into this space so laden with memory.

jackie took a deep breath. "i need to apologize. what i did at the party—throwing you under the bus like that—it was unforgivable."

"yes," you agreed. "it was."

she flinched but continued. "i was scared and drunk and stupid, but that's not an excuse. i've been a coward for years, and that night was just the worst example."

you said nothing, waiting.

"the thing is," she continued when you didn't speak, "i've been thinking a lot about what you said. about choices. about courage." she paced again, unable to stay still under the weight of what she was trying to say. "i don't want to be a coward anymore."

"what does that mean, jackie?" you were tired, suddenly, of riddles and half-truths.

she stopped pacing and looked directly at you for what felt like the first time in years. "it means i'm in love with you. i think i have been since we were kids. and i've been running from it because i thought there was something wrong with me for feeling that way."

the words hung in the cold air between you, crystallizing like frost.

"you hurt me," you said finally. "not just at the party. every day since eighth grade when you decided i was too dangerous to your perfect life."

"i know." her eyes filled with tears. "and i will regret that for the rest of my life. but i'm here now, telling you the truth, finally. for whatever that's worth."

"and jeff? the soccer team? the perfect jackie taylor life?"

she swallowed hard. "jeff and i broke up last week. the rest... i don't know. i just know i can't keep pretending. it's killing me." she took a tentative step toward you. "i don't expect you to forgive me. i don't expect anything. i just needed you to know that you were right—about me being a coward, about me making choices. i'm trying to make better ones now."

you studied her face, looking for signs of the old jackie—the girl who would say whatever was necessary to maintain appearances, to keep her world spinning on its prescribed axis. but all you saw was raw honesty and fear.

"i don't know what to say," you admitted.

"you don't have to say anything. i just..." she wrapped her arms around herself. "i miss my best friend. i miss the person who knew me better than i knew myself. i miss you."

the simple truth of it cracked something in your carefully maintained armor.

"i've missed you too," you whispered.

jackie's eyes lit with cautious hope. "really?"

"every day."

she took another step toward you, then another, until she was close enough that you could see the flecks of gold in her hazel eyes, could smell the familiar scent of her shampoo.

"i can't promise i won't mess up again," she said softly. "i can't promise i'll be brave all the time. but i want to try. with you, if you'll let me."

you reached out slowly, touched her cheek with fingertips that remembered the feel of her skin from years of memorizing it in secret moments.

"i don't need you to be brave all the time," you said. "i just need you to be honest. with yourself, most of all."

she turned her face into your touch, eyes closing briefly. "i can do that."

outside, a tentative sun broke through the clouds, sending shafts of light through the shed's dusty windows. somewhere in the distance, a bird began to sing—the first herald of spring's approach.

"it won't be easy," you warned, thinking of the world waiting beyond this momentary shelter.

jackie opened her eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "nothing worth having ever is."

she leaned forward then, hesitant, giving you every chance to pull away. you didn't. when her lips met yours, it felt like recognition, like remembering something essential you had tried to forget.

it felt like spring melting winter, like currents too strong to fight.

it felt, at last, like truth.

⚘

spring came late that year, but when it arrived, it came with a vengeance—green exploding across the landscape, flowers erupting from soil that had seemed dead only weeks before, the world renewing itself with reckless abandon.

you and jackie moved cautiously at first, relearning each other in stolen moments between classes, in weekend hours spent in the sanctuary of your book-filled bedroom, in long walks through forests just beginning to wake from winter's dormancy.

the rest of junior year unfolded in unexpected ways. jackie quit the soccer team, causing a minor scandal that was soon overshadowed by prom drama and graduation preparations for the seniors. she joined the literary magazine staff, revealing a talent for photography that complemented your words in ways that surprised you both. together, you created a series of photo essays that won the publication its first national recognition.

lottie and laura lee welcomed jackie into your lunch table circle with minimal skepticism, though lottie made it clear in her eerily perceptive way that second betrayals would not be tolerated. travis became a friend to you both, his quiet intellect and complete lack of interest in high school politics making him a safe harbor in still-turbulent waters.

there were still whispers, still sidelong glances in hallways. but as spring progressed into summer, as junior year gave way to the promise of senior year and beyond, those voices seemed to matter less and less.

on the last day of school, you and jackie returned to the equipment shed—not out of secrecy now, but out of sentiment. you brought a blanket to spread over the dusty floor, a small basket of strawberries and chocolate, a bottle of sparkling cider smuggled from your parents' fridge.

"do you remember the first time we came here?" jackie asked, lying beside you on the blanket, her fingers intertwined with yours.

"seventh grade," you said. "after you scored the winning goal against westfield. you were so pumped up on adrenaline you practically dragged me in here."

she laughed. "i told you i wanted to show you something important."

"and then you kissed me."

"and then i kissed you," she agreed. "best impulse i ever had."

you turned to look at her, at the face you had loved in so many different ways throughout your shared life. "we took the long way around, didn't we?"

jackie's expression softened. "maybe we needed to. maybe i needed to understand what i'd be missing if i kept making the wrong choices."

"and now?"

"now i know." she shifted onto her side, propping herself up on one elbow to look down at you. "i know that nothing—not popularity or parental approval or some cookie-cutter future—is worth giving up what i feel when I'm with you."

you reached up to brush a strand of hair from her face. "and what do you feel when you're with me?"

"real," she said simply, echoing words from a night years ago. "like i don't have to pretend."

you pulled her down to you then, a kiss that tasted of strawberries and possibility, of winters survived and springs renewed.

outside, summer was asserting itself—the sun high and hot, the world lush with life. inside the small shed, time seemed suspended, the past and future collapsing into a perfect present.

later, walking home with your hands swinging between you, unafraid now of who might see, jackie stopped suddenly.

"what is it?" you asked.

she was looking at you with an expression of wonder, as if seeing you for the first time. "i just realized something."

"what?"

"im happy," she said, sounding surprised. "actually, genuinely happy."

you smiled, feeling the truth of it in your own chest—a lightness that had been absent for too long. "me too."

as you continued walking, you thought about the cycles of seasons, how winter always gives way to spring, how spring inevitably yields to summer. how nothing is permanent except change itself.

𝒢𝜚 💭 ࣪ ✸ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ∿ yuri is life :3 who missed me?

TAGLIST :: @carvedtits @et6rnalsun @wovenribbons @waitforyrlove @ncm9696 @marrykisskilled @m4gz-png @ifwdominicfike @honeymoonchem @ch6rm @freshloveee @theapollochronicles @mattsdolll @jetaimevous @secretlocket @saturniolo

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mitsukii-07

3 weeks ago

Hi!! It's me again lol 💕

As much as I love reading neglected reader stories, I'd also love to read about beloved reader stories! Gimme stories where reader is the unspoken favorite of the family, scenarios like:

"I've got a ballet recital later but the tickets are only for 2 family members..."

Cue to the batfam forming teams and having debates on who deserves the tickets more, slowly descending to madness and a possible brawl where the winning pair gets the tickets.

scenario 2:

Reader wakes up in the middle of the night due to a nightmare

The batfam in the batcave seeing reader through the cameras with her teary eyes and tiny hand clutching to a blanket, thinking of which batfam member's room to go to for comfort. The batfam is shoving each other, running to be the first to comfort reader.

'She's sleeping in my room tonight!' they all think

scenario 3:

Reader is highly focused in making an arts and crafts project for school, Dick, curious about what she's doing asks what the theme is,

"My teacher told us to make our hero out of recycled materials!"

The batfam freezes and glares at each other.

'I'm their hero!' they silently tell each other

They then proceed to try to one up each other in winning reader's favor. After an exhausting week of competing with each other, they finally get to see the fruits of their labor in reader's school, scanning through the multiple projects they finally see their name written in crooked crayon... it's the Flash, the Flash is Reader's hero.

"Why??" Tim asks "Your big bro is a genius and the one who helped you with your math homework the past week"

"Cuz he-" Reader then gets distracted by their friend and runs off to play with them.

"Wait! wait! I need to know!" Tim yells in agony, too bad Reader is already playing house with their friends, already forgetting what they were talking about with Tim.

Guess we'll never know

Scenario 4:

Reader's a bit more grown, in middle school.

Reader got in trouble. Why? She defended someone against a bully and then SHE got in trouble for retaliating. She's sniffling outside the principal's office with a bruise and a pouty face, [choose which batfam member goes] sees Reader in her state and asks why she did it.

"They were hurting someone who was smaller than them and couldn't defend themselves...I wanted to be a hero like you" She says with the biggest tear-filled puppy dog eyes.

[Bat member sees red and either: goes off on the principle oooooor...calmly shows their rage with ice-cold revenge]

Imagine if it was Jason lol hahaha

I'd write more but I can't think of any at the moment, I'll probs send more when I think of some! 💕 I'd love to see your take on this 😊

Scenario 1: The Recital War – Toddler Edition

Reader (3 y/o): I only gots two tickets! 🩰✨

Dick: Okay, sweetpea. Who do you wanna pick?

Reader: Hmm…

Damian: kneeling dramatically Beloved sister, consider this: I made thee a sword out of popsicle sticks. We are bonded in blood.

Jason: She watched Encanto with me five times in one night. She called me “Uncle Bruno.”

Steph: I let her paint my nails. They were green, pink, and glue. I still have glitter in my ears.

Tim: She fell asleep on me while I was reading her bedtime stories. I’m her favorite.

Cass: Holds up a finger painting with their names on it She made this for me.

Bruce: stoically handing out opera binoculars and a bouquet of baby roses I support the arts.

Reader: I give da tickets to… MR. FLUFFINGTON 🧸 and AL-FED!! 🥰

Batfam: Screaming, crying, throwing Batarangs

Scenario 2: Nightmare Emergency

Camera Feed:

Reader, tiny and precious, waddling around with her blankie, sniffling and looking like a kicked puppy.

Jason: SHE’S CRYING MOVE

Dick: LET ME THROUGH I DO THE VOICES IN HER STORYBOOKS

Steph: NO I CUDDLED HER FOR FOUR HOURS LAST NIGHT, IT’S MY TURN

Tim: I already pre-heated the microwave bottle, SUCKERS

Damian: Stand aside. I have her dragon plushie. I am the chosen one.

Cass: Has already teleported beside Reader with cookies and fuzzy socks

Bruce (in the background): …Why do we not have a toddler emergency protocol??

Scenario 3: The Hero Assignment (but make it emotional trauma)

Dick: Whatcha makin’, peanut? 🥹

Toddler!Reader (glue in her eyelashes): My hero! Outta trash and sparkles!!

Jason: She’s totally gonna pick me. I gave her a whole leather jacket for dress-up day.

Steph: I let her put stickers on my face for two hours. I earned that title.

Tim: I literally stayed up all night helping her build that paper rocket.

Damian: She called me her “knighty wighty.” I don’t care what anyone says. I win.

Cass: already taping googly eyes onto a cardboard batmask she made together with Reader

Bruce (calm, composed): She is my daughter.

At School:

Teacher: And who is your hero, sweetheart?

Toddler!Reader (grinning, revealing one missing tooth): SUPAMAN!!!! 🦸‍♂️✨💙❤️

Whole Batfam (simultaneously): WHAT.

Jason: drops juicebox in slow motion …She picked that flying corn-fed himbo?

Tim: I— turns off all his tech devices out of heartbreak

Dick: Babe… we watched The Lego Batman Movie together. What did it mean to you??

Steph: I was glitter Batman for Halloween for her.

Damian: tearing up artwork This is a betrayal worse than Julius Caesar’s.

Cass: staring blankly at a Superman balloon floating by …it’s fine.

Bruce: …I need to call Clark. picks up phone with gritted teeth Clark. She said you're her hero.

Clark (from the other end, smug): Aww, she said that? That's so sweet! Tell her Uncle Supes loves her too!

Batfam: SCREAMING INTERNALLY

Later at home:

Jason: Hey… why is Superman your hero, sweetpea?

Toddler!Reader (mid-coloring): Cuz… he picked up my juice box when it falled 😌

Jason: clutching chest I COULD’VE DONE THAT—LET ME REDO MY AUDITION PLEASE—

Scenario 4: Trouble at School

Reader: sitting in the hall with a pout, tear in her eye and a Dora bandage on her cheek

Jason: What happened, baby bat?

Reader: I punched da big kid. He was mean to a widdle one… I wanted to be a hero… like you…

Jason: 🧍‍♂️🔫

Principal: Hello, Mr. Todd, we need to discuss—

Jason: I already paid for her lunch, bought the school, and fired the big kid’s dad. Wanna keep talking?

Reader (from his hip): I gots a popsicle 😋

Jason: She’s a hero. And heroes get popsicles.

Bonus:

"Operation: Juice Box Escape" ft. Toddler!Reader in her Feral Era 😤🧃

Setting: Wayne Manor. 8:03 PM. Post-cookie-denial incident.

Bruce: “No more cookies, sweetheart. You already had three.”

Toddler!Reader (3 y/o, betrayed, betrayed like Mufasa): …Okay.

Five Minutes Later…

Alfred (noticing the silence): Sir… have you seen the young miss?

Cut to: Security Cam Footage – Toddler!Reader, dead serious, wearing sunglasses, a glittery Dora backpack, and a tutu, marching toward the door dragging her stuffed duck by the wing.

Inside the backpack:

6 juice boxes

2 teddy bears

A tiara

Bruce’s credit card

One cookie (stolen)

Reader (muttering to herself): I runnin' ‘way. Gonna live wif Super-man. He gimme cookies.

Batfam:

Tim (on the computer): Security breach detected—WAIT THAT’S HER.

Jason: Did she just say she’s going to live with Clark?? NOT ON MY WATCH.

Dick: Get the car!! I’ll bring the plushies!!

Damian: I TOLD YOU ALL TO INSTALL TODDLER-SIZED MOTION SENSORS.

Steph: already halfway out the door My BABY is FLEEING.

Meanwhile, on the sidewalk…

Toddler!Reader: sipping a juice box and holding out her thumb like she saw in a movie I hitchin’ a wide.

Random Driver: Uh—do you need help, little—

Jason (pulls up in the Batmobile): BACK OFF, SHE HAS TWO LEGAL GUARDIANS AND A NINJA FAMILY.

Toddler!Reader (arms crossed): You no let me eat da cookie.

Jason: Baby, we’ll buy you an entire bakery, just come back inside.

Reader: I wanna live wif Super-man. He NICE. He say I strong.

Bruce (arriving, out of breath): I’LL BUY YOU THE SUN. JUST NOT CLARK. PLEASE.

Later that night:

Reader is peacefully sleeping in Jason’s hoodie, surrounded by six plushies, two Batboys snoring on the floor, and one glittery crown on her head.

Cass (whispering): She has a cookie in her pocket.

Damian: Let her keep it. She earned it.

✨ BONUS QUOTE ✨

Reader (drowsy): Next time… I bring more juice.

Bruce (tucking her in): Next time, take me with you.

A/N: I think I got a bit carried away<3

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mitsukii-07

3 weeks ago

–BRING BACK THE DEAD UNIVERSE!

WARNING : emotional neglect, kidnapping, murder, physical abuse/torture, obsessive behavior, schizophrenia, self-harm(?), more will be added.

NOTE : If you are sensitive to the subject matter, leave immediately! Please provide any feedback so that I can improve. Just don't go off the deep end by telling me to commit suicide because you don't like my writing, okay? Thanks! :)

🪐–CHAPTER

1 – Working for the knife

2 – there's nothing left for you

296 notes View Post

mitsukii-07

1 week ago

hey, we had fratboy shauna, lottie, and... fratboy jackie?

— so into you || fratboy and g!p jackie taylor headcanons 🎬

a/n: nothing smart to say this time. just need her. also, she gives strong ariana grande songs vibes if you ask me.

summary: she changed since high school and turns out…she’s not as bad as you thought she is. modern college au. girlfriend!jackie.

warnings: NSFW - content - MDNI

★ — well, you didn’t know that someone like jackie taylor exist til the day you walked in class. she sits spread open at the desk. varsity jacket around her shoulders with college soccer team logo. there’s weird, like really concerning amount of silver rings on her fingers. and, oh god, boxers are picking out from the waistband of her jeans.

★ — after that you learn that this girl is a soccer team captain! and your friends are pretty sure she’s into you. you let it slide for now, cause jackie…simply doesn’t make a move. sure, smiles at you, sometimes throw compliment or two. but nothing besides that.

★ — and hell, that girl got reputation. people say she’s mean which…just doesn’t make sense in your head. she’s so nervous around you, how could she be mean to anyone? then, when she finally gets her shit together, she catches you in cafeteria and in front of all your friends she asks you out.

i mean, she tries. cause what comes from her mouth sounds like she’s choking. “hi…so…” she swallows. “i actually don’t know, i mean, you don’t have a boyfriend, yeah? or hell, girlfriend? i just…” she stutters. “maybe you wanna go out? tomorrow? i mean, no rush! we don’t have to, it’s your choice, really…”

“jackie” you cut her off. “just pick me up around 6.”

she stares at you for a moment then she looks like she’s suddenly buzzing with energy. “oh fuck, great—“ she says relieved. “i mean, yeah. cool. whatever.” she mumbles, trying not to sound overexcited. she does anyway. she blushes like a total idiot walking away.

★ — did i mention her obsession with varsity jackets? no? cause this asshole has whole ass collection in her closet. not like you’re complaining when she borrows you another one. they’re smell like hell. (borrows is a big word, she just warps you in it. deal with it.)

★ — oh jackie’s smell. always so fresh, with that cologne sticking tt her skin that fills up your nostrils anytime she’s hovering over you.

★ — right! going back to her rings! the same with jackets — whole ass collections is placed at her nightstand. she wakes up in the morning and put random ones on. the more the better. turns out she loves jewellery in general. necklaces, bracelets. yes, she wears your bra strap as a bracelet.

★ — speaking of which — jackie has piercings! just in ears tho. beginning with basic lobes and ending with conch, helix and rook. and well…one hidden one. albert king piercing.

★ — you gasp when you have sex for the first time, feeling something like ring brushing against your velvet walls. you stare at her. not used to this new sensation.

“jackie, is that…?” you start but she nods swiftly, cheeks are flushed both from embarrassment and arousal.

“is it bad, cause…?” she pants but you shake your head swiftly.

“no, fuck that’s…” you manage to choke out. “that’s hot, jax.”

★ — you see, jackie was a virgin until she met you. she’s so panicked when you’re fucking for the first time. constantly asking you if she’s doing okay, if she’s not hurting you.

“jesus christ, jax.” you breathe out with amusement. “just fuck me.”

and god knows she does. firstly, she’s hesitant, taking things slow. but when her dick is buried deep inside your slick folds? she nearly cries out from pleasure. poor jackie, never had pussy around her cock. when she gets more confident, she fucks you like woman possessed. and she even moans way louder than you. whimpering in your ear with each thrust.

★ — not to mention the first time you give her a head. her eyes rolls back in her head from pleasure while you suck her tip with piercing.

★ — here’s another thing: jackie is prideful. jackie doesn’t like when people tell her what to do. always cocky, in charge. like she’s the best in every single thing she does (she’s not. she’s just annoying.) and then, there’s you. and she loves when you put her in her place while riding her dick. or even without fucking her. she just obeys.

★ — she loves affection but only privately. in public she plays this unbothered, smug frat. keeping your close but not always touching you. pressing kisses to your neck occasionally but she doesn’t cling to you. not around people at least. cough, reputation.

★ — cause when you’re alone? fuck, she does cling. her hands are all over you, lips travelling constantly up and down. like she’ll die if she won’t be touching you. call her all you want, she’s secretly an awful simp for you. also, people know that. probably after she fell asleep on you at that one party. gripping you like you’re the last person on planet earth.

★ — she gives you a lot compliments. leaving the notes on the fridge, in your notes, in your bag…everywhere. and you learn to compliment her too by that! she’s blushing like hell when you call her handsome.

★ — she’s annoying. like really fucking getting on your nerves sometimes. caring too much about her reputation. her clothes. her fucking appearance. all the damn time.

“jax, what the hell?” you ask irritated walking into the bathroom. “you’re sitting here for hours.”

“yeah, to look pretty for a date with my prettiest girlfriend” she grins tugging you for a kiss. and yeah…you melt right and there.

★ — she’s a smoker — always walking everywhere with her vape. she probably smokes something awfully sweet. like strawberry or raspberry.

★ — she needs to keep up her reputation of that confident, perfect asshole that somehow is loved by everyone around. but when it comes to you…you’re her safe place. she’s sensitive. more than people think. sometimes she simply cries in your arms because of the pressure. only to feel a little guilty next day and brings you breakfast to your bed. from your favourite restaurant. she memorised.

★ — she doesn’t say much i love you’s. she’s definitely not so obvious with her love. but she’s sure as hell possessive — you’re her absolute everything. and jackie taylor doesn’t share.

116 notes View Post

mitsukii-07

1 month ago

okay, but... jackie taylor with reader! princess treatment? reader just loves sitting on her lap while wearing a cute short skirt and pretty ass, having jackie's arms around her, giving her a kiss with lip gloss when she wins a game, looking at her with big eyes and a cute pout ... just princess treatment?

i really love your work!

god….jackie taylor princess treatment, save me!! save me jackie taylor princess treatment!!

jackie taylor lives to spoil you.

she’s got an arm slung around your waist at all times, fingers resting just beneath the hem of your shirt to have a feel of your skin. she never lets you walk on the outside of the sidewalk, she opens doors for you without a second thought, and if you so much as shiver, she's already draping her varsity jacket over your shoulders, murmuring, “can't have my girl getting cold, can i?”

it’s fair to say that she is obsessed with you. and jackie doesn't even try to hide it.

it’s obvious to everyone around in the way she pulls you into her lap the second you're close enough, her arms wrapping around your waist like she owns you. she doesn't care where you are (on the bleachers after practice, at a party, even in the middle of the cafeteria if there's space) you're sitting on her, not next to her.

“you're so clingy,” you tease one afternoon, even as you settle comfortably against her, your skirt riding up just a little when you shift in her lap.

jackie’s hands squeeze your hips. “and?”

“nothing,” you say. “i like it!”

if she's not actively pulling you into her lap, she's tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear, playing with your fingers, kissing your temple just because she can. jackie even carries your bag after school, waits for you after class, and lets you steal her clothes even though she knows you only wear them so people will see.

and after a big game? there is no stopping her: even sweaty, breathless, and radiating victory, all jackie wants is you.

the second she sees you waiting for her near the sidelines, she beams, racing right over, gripping your waist, pulling you in.

jackie barely has time to catch her breath before you cup her face, press a sticky-sweet, glossy kiss to her lips, and pull back just enough to admire your work. a perfect pink layer left behind, her lips glittering with it.

"you taste like strawberries," she murmurs, pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth.

you flush, curling further into her as the other yellowjackets begin to catch up. jackie just grins, keeping you right where you belong: wrapped up in her arms, pressed against her like she never wants to let go. (which, truthfully, she doesn’t…)

— nsfw below the cut. mdni.

okay but now i‘m thinking…jackie finger fucking you in her lap…? because, if you think about it, that also counts as princess treatment, right…?

maybe you’ve convinced her to let you do her make up or something:

at first, you’re confused as to why she would agree to this at all: jackie is definitely better at doing makeup than you, and hates when somebody messes with her face like that.

it only really dawns upon you when you’re already sitting on her lap: here you are, in the shortest little skirt, looking all cute and focused, bottom lip caught between your teeth as you reach for a brush.

no wonder jackie actually wanted this.

no wonder she’s got no sense of self control now.

her hands drift to your thighs, fingertips teasing along the hem of your skirt. just barely at first, featherlight touches that make you squirm but don't fully distract you as you reach for a brush.

but she doesn't stop there. she squeezes your thighs, her fingers pressing into soft flesh as she watches you try to ignore her.

“jackie,” you warn, not yet looking down.

jackie hums, all innocent. “hmm?”

“you’re distracting me,” you murmur, dipping the brush into the powder, trying to refocus. but, god, it’s hard when she trails her fingers up until she’s squeezing your ass.

“am i?”

you turn her chin slightly to apply the blush. “yes”

jackie, completely unbothered, presses a lingering kiss to your wrist, then the inside of it, then your palm. before you can react, she’s already leaning up, catching your lips in a kiss as well.

you sigh against her mouth, your hands sliding into her hair as the brush clatters to the floor.

as easy as that, and all your resolve is gone, replaced by arousal when jackie reaches between your legs. when she catches your eyes, tilts her head, and waits for the breathless nod before pushing your panties to the side, moaning as if she could feel actual pleasure from the way her fingers slide through your wetness.

it’s not long after that, that you find yourself propped up above jackie, most of your weight resting on your knees, one hand on the headboard, as she pounds her fingers into you. you don’t even have to do anything at all, she’s doing the work for you, wetness gushing down her arm.

“just like that,” jackie praises as the hem of your skirt bounces with each thrust. her free hand lingers on your lower back, supporting you in your current position and her face is covered in your lipgloss, chin and jaw glistening with it over a thin layer of sweat.

“come on,” she encourages, leaning back on her elbows to get a better look at you, her fingers stilling inside of your throbbing cunt.

it is up to you to take pleasure from her now.

later, you will be embarrassed by how fast you switch to riding her fingers…

835 notes View Post

mitsukii-07

1 month ago

hc! on the sunny side of the street

jackie taylor x fem!reader

summary: jackie taylor has a massive crush on you.

warnings: jackie not being subtle at all, reader is a yellowjacket, pure fluff, not proofread

୨୧ jackie was on the sunny side of the street every time you were near and she was very obvious about that.

୨୧ you joined the team last year and, at first, you were frightened of her. judging the book by its cover, jackie fulfilled every requirement to be a successful and typical mean girl; silky and shiny hair, extremely popular, team captain and a huge collection of admirers.

୨୧ it took you half a second to alter the perception you had of her when you joined her in the locker room after the short reunion you had with coach martinez. jackie was so energetic and excited to welcome you in, with an inviting smile and arms enthusiastically pulling you closer to a warm embrace. the sweet perfume of her lingered on your mind for days.

୨୧ on your first day as a yellowjacket, most of the girls were receptive and patient and ready to help you in whatever you needed.

୨୧ “okay, everyone. let’s give her some space!” jackie used her bossy team captain voice to disperse the crowd of curious people around you. at the second the other girls backed off just enough, she grabbed your arm and started to gush about a new party that was happening on friday night, inviting you to go with her.

୨୧ jackie didn’t want to give you some space. that girl wanted you to give you a space from the others!

୨୧ remember that jackie wasn’t subtle at all? well.

୨୧ during practice, van failed it to stop the ball a few times and even though it was no big deal, jackie got furious.

୨୧ “if we can’t even catch a ball, maybe we shouldn’t even bother to try for the nationals!” she lectured the team with arms folded across her chest and flushed cheeks for running too much.

୨୧ “it was just a mistake, jackie. relax!” taissa is the first one to defend her girlfriend, never afraid of going against jackie.

୨୧ “a mistake that could cost us a lot!”

୨୧ but then, the moment you literally tripped over the ball with your big ass feet and fell on your face, jackie was all over you with concerned eyes and tender touches on your arms to help you up.

୨୧ “are you serious? she sucks.” mari scoffs, rolling her eyes. a few of the girls were covering their faces with their hands to hide a laugh.

୨୧ “don’t say that. it was just a mistake! everyone makes mistakes sometimes.” jackie snarled at mari and decided to ignore the multiple death stares at her when she ignored your beginner mistake just to yell at van for something harder than just chase a ball.

୨୧ “you have to be fucking kidding me.” tai sighs.

୨୧ the very next day during practice, everyone was warming up and getting ready when jackie came in. hair flawlessly soft with a yellow ribbon adorning it.

୨୧ “attention, everyone! the nationals are coming, as all of you may know, and i thought it was a great idea to work on our speed. so…” she smiles proudly, hands forming a cup to hold a few pieces of paper. “i’ll randomly select a few people every day to run around the field for five minutes.”

୨୧ at the speed of light, all of the girls began to protest and call jackie a crazy girl. it was a lot, actually. the field was huge and if you were a panting mess after a simple practice, you would be dead after running for five minutes.

୨୧ “come on, yellowjackets. don’t you wanna win the big game?” she tries to encourage them with a forced smile, while disregarding the discontent comments.

୨୧ knowing that neither of you had a say on this, the silence settled in when jackie began to choose people and you were praying to all of the gods to not be chosen.

୨୧ “and the first one is…” she holds a small piece of paper in the air and reads the name written on it. “mari!”

୨୧ “are you serious? that’s not random, i saw you looking at it! i wanna see the it.” mari defends herself and jackie pull her hands back to her chest, protecting the papers like it was something worth of dying for.

୨୧ jackie knew damn well why she couldn’t show the papers. she spent a few minutes of her night yesterday writing only mari’s name on a sheet of paper. she could just pick someone else who was bothering you later tomorrow, she thought.

୨୧ “jackie, this is cruel. you’re just mad at her cause she said something about your precious girlfriend.” nat stands up this time, visibly annoyed.

୨୧ “and the second chosen one is natalie” jackie looks straight at the blondie, not even bothering to look at the names in her hands and act surprised. “have fun.”

୨୧ she was definitely favoring you and you were worried that everyone would hate you for that.

୨୧ if jackie wasn’t defending you from the girls passive aggressive comments, she was glued by your side like a god damn guardian dog.

୨୧ “good job today. you look so pretty.” says jackie after you missed the ball twice, kicked shauna’s leg by accident, almost lost balance when nat accidentally bumped into you and your hair was wildly all over the place. ignoring all of that, she definitely made you blush.

୨୧ it was quite a performance, an adorable and smart one. she would bat eyelashes, twirling her hair around her finger like in those cliche movies and acting all giggly and foolishly before saying goodbye.

୨୧ shauna would always give jackie a ride home and at the moment she got into the car, shauna was looking at her like 🤨 “what the fuck was all that about?”

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