This Is So Me

THANKFUL I didn’t shift during 2020-2021. The shit I had scripted would’ve traumatized me, embarrassed me, humiliated me, humbled me, befuddled me, flabbergasted me, bewildered me, gobsmacked me, appalled me, astonished me, astounded me, overwhelmed me, etc etc etc

i’m awkward and hate socializing but i think all my mutuals & followers are cool as fuck and i wish i was social enough to actually speak to some of you 🫠🙌

ANITEEZ - 01 JJONGRAMI

NEXT - 02 TYUDEONGI

!! MASTERLIST !!

2.6K WORDS

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TAGS ; hongjoong is a squirrel, angst - comfort, mentions of losing home, hurricane/storm, might be a bit messy at the beginning but it comes together trustt

Kenya was fresh in her new home, just an hour away from her parents when a hurricane decided to emerge and begin its path towards her city. She didn’t have a single speck of salvageable food in her house. It had barely been a full week since she moved in, she was still unpacking and the job she applied for hadn’t responded yet. The neighbors were friendly and loved her, so she had some small snacks and a cake from the little welcome party they held. She lived off of that during the small unpacking break she gave herself. For meals, she had been getting takeout for the past few days. To make matters worse, the television hadn’t arrived yet, so she never got the three day notice. If it weren’t for one of her neighbors alerting her, she would’ve been outside just as it passed by. If this hurricane was as bad as the last, she was doomed because of how underprepared she was. She would either lose her home, becoming broke and lonely or go back to where she was born. There was no way she would be going back to the controlling home she just escaped from.

Hongjoong had known the hurricane was on its way a few days before the rest of the humans did, even from his spot in the tree in front of Kenya’s new home. The problem, was that he had nowhere to go. He didn’t want to be dragged far, far away by the wind again, but he wasn’t about to try and get into a shelter far, far away from the tree. Not when he was so close to finding his parents. He usually stayed with the nice, old couple who resided in the house in front of his tree. However, the day that young adults, who he could guess were relatives, started coming over to clear out the home, he knew what would happen. They got inside a car and never returned, but not before bidding him adieu with rubs and snacks. Those were the only nice humans he met. The rest of them either stared at him unsettlingly, called him ‘sandy cheeks’, tried to catch him, or tried to chase him away. So, he didn’t like to approach humans that much.

He was going to keep his peace and avoid her as well, until one particular day. She had received a crate of strawberries from a neighbor who ‘didn’t have enough space in her fridge’, and she took them inside. That neighbor was the one who notified her about the incoming danger. The lady had offered her a safer place to stay, but the girl refused. He thought that it would be his last time seeing her from so close for the day, but she came back out with one in her hand. She had noticed the red squirrel looking from the top of the tree and wanted to try and feed him. If it was possible, maybe even bring him into her house. She didn’t want him to be swept away by the ferocious winds or struck by the flashing lightning. Even though as a child she was scolded for being friendly with animals, she wanted to at least try. She was told that sometimes, the animals could be hybrids and that those things are creeps. She didn’t believe any of their words, it only spurred her on to try and find one rather than adopting. Now, with those words, she wanted to allow him in even more in the case that he was human.

That day, she walked outside with a strawberry in her hand. She saw the squirrel about to climb up the tree, staring at her cautiously as she approached. To get it to put its guard down, she crouched down to give herself a smaller stature. She took baby steps, slow and tiny until his tail was twitching and she crouched right in front of him. Holding out the strawberry to him, murmuring, “Here,” she watched as the critter hastily took the strawberry and scurried back to the tree. That was Hongjoong’s first time having something sweet in a while. He watched as she smiled softly, ensuring that the cute squirrel ate the strawberry before heading back inside. She would use that as her tactic. She was always warned to never feed animals, or else they’ll be attached to her. However, now she wanted that outcome.

The interaction both worked in her favor, and it made him feel more comfortable with the plan he was about to attempt.

An hour after he watched her leave the house, the girl returned with her car door open, bringing in bags of groceries. He knew that she was preparing for the hurricane that would occur iim nearly six hours. She had a few cases of bottled waters left in her car, which she was struggling to carry and bring inside. Her body was already sore from all the unpacking and traveling back and forth, which made it no easier. As he saw her heaving, trudging back out to grab the second case, he emerged from behind the tree trunk and stood in front of her. She paused seeing the squirrel staring up at her, tail twitching.

After she blinked, a young man with dull, red hair and wide eyes was peering at her. He was about an inch taller than her, and she couldn’t miss the tiny ears on his head or the huge, puffy tail behind him. He opened his mouth, closed it again in hesitation, opened it again and spoke. “D-Do you n-need help?”

Seeing the way she stared at him, mumbling, “Uh..”, he was about to retrace his tracks and die of embarrassment, but she finally responded. Shaking off the shock she felt, she gave a nod and a hum. Some people owned hybrids, but she had never talked to one personally. She hadn’t really seen one, other than the police dogs that visited her school years ago. The squirrel-man instantly went to work, grabbing the case of waters and heading inside to find where she placed the other. He was internally scolding himself for doing it so awkwardly.

Once her car was empty, before he could execute his plan she did it for him. “Do you have a home? Do you need to stay with me during the hurricane..?” She decided to take the chance and ask while she could.

“Yes..” He mumbled, happy she offered first so he wouldn’t have to ask. He knew that squirrel hybrids were uncommon, so he didn’t want to seem weird. As she led him into her house, he spoke timidly. “T-Thank you for the strawberry earlier…”

She smiled, taking one out the container she was moving out of the fridge. She gave it to him. “You’re welcome. Make sure you wash it off.” He went straight to the sink to run it under the water. After a few brief seconds, he shoved the whole thing in his mouth, leaves and all. She chuckled at the sight. “You can have one any time you want.” He stood there fiddling with his fingers as she filled the fridge and cabinets with necessities. When she stood and began walking, he trailed behind her as well.

She went to the windows to close the shutters, and he spoke as he looked at the tree he spent most of his day burrowed inside of. “Thank you so much for letting me stay.. I’ll sleep out here, and I’ll be good, I swear..” He knew that some, if not, all humans doubted hybrids like him. They only trusted cats and dogs, yet barely even those species.

“Make yourself comfortable... Did I get your name?” She questioned, appreciating how he wasn’t going to try anything. She didn’t think he would be so ill-spirited even after the little snacks she gave him anyways.

“Hongjoong… Yours?” He watched as she went into a nearby bag, fishing out a laptop.

“Kenya. Is there anything you want to do..? Sorry, but I don’t have a TV yet.” She trailed off. She would’ve offered him her laptop to watch something, but she couldn’t trust a stranger with access to such sensitive information. Even if she watched it with him, she had plans on taking a shower so she really had no idea what to offer him during his stay. She was freshly an adult in her own house, so she was new to having guests over.

“Not really, I was planning on napping during the hurricane..” He said, hoping his body would go along with that plan. He could sleep for over half a day if he was tired enough, so he deliberately stayed up during the last few nights. If he went to sleep now and entered that deep sleep, it would be nearly impossible for the thunder to stir him awake. He felt rude for invading her house just to completely ignore her, but she didn’t seem to mind. They were technically neighbors, so he had many chances to speak to her anyways.

“Oh, okay. I had the same idea.” She said, continuing with, “Let me know if you need anything..” She trailed off as her feet took her towards the stairs. She took a quick trip to grab him a cover and pillow, before she notified him of the location of the bathroom and finally got comfortable in her bed. Before she fell asleep, she did hear him getting up and meddling in the kitchen. Her ears told her he was going to get strawberries, possibly to help him fall asleep.

The house finally settled down, the hurricane quietly beginning its course. During the night, she was awakened by the sound and feeling of light shuffling and quiet sniffles and hiccups. Alongside that, the fierce winds, aggressive thunder, and pattering rain of a hurricane. She felt a new body underneath her covers, trembling violently. She took a moment to recover from her sleepy state, the sound of thunder and rain about to lull her back to sleep. It was all comforting to her, but it seemed the opposite for the squirrel behind her. She turned towards him, his head lifting as he muttered small apologies. “I-I’m sorry, I’ll.. I’ll go back.. I-I just..”

She stopped him before he could leave, lightly placing a hand on his shivering shoulder. She didn’t want him to leave just yet. She knew that some people had anxiety with storms like this, and she wasn’t upset with that. He could see the worry etched in her face clearly, yet she could barely see her own hand in the darkness of the room. “Is everything okay?” Her voice came out, gentle and slightly raspy with sleep.

“Y-Yes.. I-I just.. don’t like the storm.. I don’t want to be alone..” He stuttered, his voice high with small sobs in between his words. He mumbled the last words. She cupped his cheek with one hand, wiping his tears softly. With the other, she lightly combed his hair out of his face. She hoped it was comforting him. She wasn’t used to being around hybrids.

“It’s okay.. I won’t leave you alone.. Nothing will happen..” She whispered, cradling his head in her arms. He buried his face in her chest. She had could guess what happened to make him so panicked in a situation like this, due to her observations. She was tempted to ask and confirm, but she kept her mouth shut. He would be the one to decide whether or not to tell her.

He sobbed for a bit longer, before the noises were reduced to sniffles and slow breathing. She had fallen back asleep herself, yet he didn’t even notice because he was content with just her presence. He had been alone for so long, he forgot how it felt to be cared for. The two slept in the bed peacefully until the morning, when the hurricane had passed by their area. It was still raining a bit, but it had moved into the next city.

She woke up before he did, untangling herself from his limbs and going straight to the restroom. He had started clinging to her body as he slept, instead of just a light hug. After she finished her business in the bathroom, she decided it wouldn’t harm to take a quick shower. As she grabbed her clothes, she saw that he didn’t stir after she unintentionally closed the drawers roughly. She didn’t think he would be awake for a while. She never saw him outside his tree at this hour, so she concluded that he slept for long hours of the day.

After cleaning herself, she visited the room again to find him laid on his back, eyes open. He turned when she entered, staring at her for a moment before waving.

“Morning.” She murmured in response. “I’m going to cook breakfast. Is french toast okay?”

“Mhm.” He hummed. A minute and a trip to the bathroom later, the squirrel had joined the girl in the kitchen. He watched as she cooked, flipping the bread on the pan onto the other side.

“Sorry about last night..” He started, feeling the need to apologize. Even though she was completely inviting, allowing him to stay without a problem, he still felt like he was invading her quiet life.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I know that animals can hate storms, and just loud noises in general.” She reassured him, placing the bread on a plate. She never had a pet herself, but she recalled friends telling her how terrified their dogs are whenever it’s a holiday that involves fireworks. She placed another slice of bread on the pan, letting it cook as she talked to him.

“Thank you.. It’s just.. I lost my family during the last hurricane a few months ago… ” He started, staring blankly at the french toast as she decorated it with whipped cream and strawberries. He was used to explaining this to other animals, hoping they’d seen them somewhere. “Our tree fell down, and the winds and flood took me..” He took a breath, “I haven’t seen them since.”

“Do you want me to help you find them..?” She asked hesitantly. She didn’t know if he would take that in the wrong way, she hoped not.

He watched as she flipped the bread around, “Would you really?” He didn’t think that a human would really have the time or patience to be searching for three little squirrels.

“Yes. I need the company, anyway. Also, you seem to know the area better so a tour guide wouldn’t be too bad.” She joked, winking as she handed him the french toast.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it. And for the food too, thank you.” He stuttered, taking the food happily. He was so excited to indulge in this plate. He never tasted whipped cream before. He could only stare at the desserts through the windows of the cafes he passed by. “I think.. I’ll go back to the tree when I finish.. Just let me know when you have time to go.”

“I will, and don’t worry. You’re free to come over anytime if you need anything.” She said while adding her own toppings onto her french toast. She smiled at first out of politeness, but it became genuine when she realized how easily she made a new friend, especially for a hybrid. It told her that she would be fine in this new neighborhood.

While eating, she learned that Hongjoong had been living, searching, and exploring in the area for about a year, so he knew the place pretty well. That meant that while searching for his family, he could also be giving her a tour of the city. With this knowledge, the two made the decision to start off sooner, the next day.

NEXT - 02 TYDEONGI

COMING SOON

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LUVA — 19 • INTJ • AFRICAN AMERICAN • BISEXUAL • MULTISTAN

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whenever i write, im usually zoning out and listening to music, so a lot will be based off a song. hence why those three are up there ^ i listen to them the most. i also listen to beabadoodee, laufey, wave to earth, a lot of artists.

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ANITEEZ - 01 JJONGRAMI

NEXT - 02 TYUDEONGI

!! MASTERLIST !!

2.6K WORDS

REBLOGS APPRECIATED

TAGS ; hongjoong is a squirrel, angst - comfort, mentions of losing home, hurricane/storm, might be a bit messy at the beginning but it comes together trustt

Kenya was fresh in her new home, just an hour away from her parents when a hurricane decided to emerge and begin its path towards her city. She didn’t have a single speck of salvageable food in her house. It had barely been a full week since she moved in, she was still unpacking and the job she applied for hadn’t responded yet. The neighbors were friendly and loved her, so she had some small snacks and a cake from the little welcome party they held. She lived off of that during the small unpacking break she gave herself. For meals, she had been getting takeout for the past few days. To make matters worse, the television hadn’t arrived yet, so she never got the three day notice. If it weren’t for one of her neighbors alerting her, she would’ve been outside just as it passed by. If this hurricane was as bad as the last, she was doomed because of how underprepared she was. She would either lose her home, becoming broke and lonely or go back to where she was born. There was no way she would be going back to the controlling home she just escaped from.

Hongjoong had known the hurricane was on its way a few days before the rest of the humans did, even from his spot in the tree in front of Kenya’s new home. The problem, was that he had nowhere to go. He didn’t want to be dragged far, far away by the wind again, but he wasn’t about to try and get into a shelter far, far away from the tree. Not when he was so close to finding his parents. He usually stayed with the nice, old couple who resided in the house in front of his tree. However, the day that young adults, who he could guess were relatives, started coming over to clear out the home, he knew what would happen. They got inside a car and never returned, but not before bidding him adieu with rubs and snacks. Those were the only nice humans he met. The rest of them either stared at him unsettlingly, called him ‘sandy cheeks’, tried to catch him, or tried to chase him away. So, he didn’t like to approach humans that much.

He was going to keep his peace and avoid her as well, until one particular day. She had received a crate of strawberries from a neighbor who ‘didn’t have enough space in her fridge’, and she took them inside. That neighbor was the one who notified her about the incoming danger. The lady had offered her a safer place to stay, but the girl refused. He thought that it would be his last time seeing her from so close for the day, but she came back out with one in her hand. She had noticed the red squirrel looking from the top of the tree and wanted to try and feed him. If it was possible, maybe even bring him into her house. She didn’t want him to be swept away by the ferocious winds or struck by the flashing lightning. Even though as a child she was scolded for being friendly with animals, she wanted to at least try. She was told that sometimes, the animals could be hybrids and that those things are creeps. She didn’t believe any of their words, it only spurred her on to try and find one rather than adopting. Now, with those words, she wanted to allow him in even more in the case that he was human.

That day, she walked outside with a strawberry in her hand. She saw the squirrel about to climb up the tree, staring at her cautiously as she approached. To get it to put its guard down, she crouched down to give herself a smaller stature. She took baby steps, slow and tiny until his tail was twitching and she crouched right in front of him. Holding out the strawberry to him, murmuring, “Here,” she watched as the critter hastily took the strawberry and scurried back to the tree. That was Hongjoong’s first time having something sweet in a while. He watched as she smiled softly, ensuring that the cute squirrel ate the strawberry before heading back inside. She would use that as her tactic. She was always warned to never feed animals, or else they’ll be attached to her. However, now she wanted that outcome.

The interaction both worked in her favor, and it made him feel more comfortable with the plan he was about to attempt.

An hour after he watched her leave the house, the girl returned with her car door open, bringing in bags of groceries. He knew that she was preparing for the hurricane that would occur iim nearly six hours. She had a few cases of bottled waters left in her car, which she was struggling to carry and bring inside. Her body was already sore from all the unpacking and traveling back and forth, which made it no easier. As he saw her heaving, trudging back out to grab the second case, he emerged from behind the tree trunk and stood in front of her. She paused seeing the squirrel staring up at her, tail twitching.

After she blinked, a young man with dull, red hair and wide eyes was peering at her. He was about an inch taller than her, and she couldn’t miss the tiny ears on his head or the huge, puffy tail behind him. He opened his mouth, closed it again in hesitation, opened it again and spoke. “D-Do you n-need help?”

Seeing the way she stared at him, mumbling, “Uh..”, he was about to retrace his tracks and die of embarrassment, but she finally responded. Shaking off the shock she felt, she gave a nod and a hum. Some people owned hybrids, but she had never talked to one personally. She hadn’t really seen one, other than the police dogs that visited her school years ago. The squirrel-man instantly went to work, grabbing the case of waters and heading inside to find where she placed the other. He was internally scolding himself for doing it so awkwardly.

Once her car was empty, before he could execute his plan she did it for him. “Do you have a home? Do you need to stay with me during the hurricane..?” She decided to take the chance and ask while she could.

“Yes..” He mumbled, happy she offered first so he wouldn’t have to ask. He knew that squirrel hybrids were uncommon, so he didn’t want to seem weird. As she led him into her house, he spoke timidly. “T-Thank you for the strawberry earlier…”

She smiled, taking one out the container she was moving out of the fridge. She gave it to him. “You’re welcome. Make sure you wash it off.” He went straight to the sink to run it under the water. After a few brief seconds, he shoved the whole thing in his mouth, leaves and all. She chuckled at the sight. “You can have one any time you want.” He stood there fiddling with his fingers as she filled the fridge and cabinets with necessities. When she stood and began walking, he trailed behind her as well.

She went to the windows to close the shutters, and he spoke as he looked at the tree he spent most of his day burrowed inside of. “Thank you so much for letting me stay.. I’ll sleep out here, and I’ll be good, I swear..” He knew that some, if not, all humans doubted hybrids like him. They only trusted cats and dogs, yet barely even those species.

“Make yourself comfortable... Did I get your name?” She questioned, appreciating how he wasn’t going to try anything. She didn’t think he would be so ill-spirited even after the little snacks she gave him anyways.

“Hongjoong… Yours?” He watched as she went into a nearby bag, fishing out a laptop.

“Kenya. Is there anything you want to do..? Sorry, but I don’t have a TV yet.” She trailed off. She would’ve offered him her laptop to watch something, but she couldn’t trust a stranger with access to such sensitive information. Even if she watched it with him, she had plans on taking a shower so she really had no idea what to offer him during his stay. She was freshly an adult in her own house, so she was new to having guests over.

“Not really, I was planning on napping during the hurricane..” He said, hoping his body would go along with that plan. He could sleep for over half a day if he was tired enough, so he deliberately stayed up during the last few nights. If he went to sleep now and entered that deep sleep, it would be nearly impossible for the thunder to stir him awake. He felt rude for invading her house just to completely ignore her, but she didn’t seem to mind. They were technically neighbors, so he had many chances to speak to her anyways.

“Oh, okay. I had the same idea.” She said, continuing with, “Let me know if you need anything..” She trailed off as her feet took her towards the stairs. She took a quick trip to grab him a cover and pillow, before she notified him of the location of the bathroom and finally got comfortable in her bed. Before she fell asleep, she did hear him getting up and meddling in the kitchen. Her ears told her he was going to get strawberries, possibly to help him fall asleep.

The house finally settled down, the hurricane quietly beginning its course. During the night, she was awakened by the sound and feeling of light shuffling and quiet sniffles and hiccups. Alongside that, the fierce winds, aggressive thunder, and pattering rain of a hurricane. She felt a new body underneath her covers, trembling violently. She took a moment to recover from her sleepy state, the sound of thunder and rain about to lull her back to sleep. It was all comforting to her, but it seemed the opposite for the squirrel behind her. She turned towards him, his head lifting as he muttered small apologies. “I-I’m sorry, I’ll.. I’ll go back.. I-I just..”

She stopped him before he could leave, lightly placing a hand on his shivering shoulder. She didn’t want him to leave just yet. She knew that some people had anxiety with storms like this, and she wasn’t upset with that. He could see the worry etched in her face clearly, yet she could barely see her own hand in the darkness of the room. “Is everything okay?” Her voice came out, gentle and slightly raspy with sleep.

“Y-Yes.. I-I just.. don’t like the storm.. I don’t want to be alone..” He stuttered, his voice high with small sobs in between his words. He mumbled the last words. She cupped his cheek with one hand, wiping his tears softly. With the other, she lightly combed his hair out of his face. She hoped it was comforting him. She wasn’t used to being around hybrids.

“It’s okay.. I won’t leave you alone.. Nothing will happen..” She whispered, cradling his head in her arms. He buried his face in her chest. She had could guess what happened to make him so panicked in a situation like this, due to her observations. She was tempted to ask and confirm, but she kept her mouth shut. He would be the one to decide whether or not to tell her.

He sobbed for a bit longer, before the noises were reduced to sniffles and slow breathing. She had fallen back asleep herself, yet he didn’t even notice because he was content with just her presence. He had been alone for so long, he forgot how it felt to be cared for. The two slept in the bed peacefully until the morning, when the hurricane had passed by their area. It was still raining a bit, but it had moved into the next city.

She woke up before he did, untangling herself from his limbs and going straight to the restroom. He had started clinging to her body as he slept, instead of just a light hug. After she finished her business in the bathroom, she decided it wouldn’t harm to take a quick shower. As she grabbed her clothes, she saw that he didn’t stir after she unintentionally closed the drawers roughly. She didn’t think he would be awake for a while. She never saw him outside his tree at this hour, so she concluded that he slept for long hours of the day.

After cleaning herself, she visited the room again to find him laid on his back, eyes open. He turned when she entered, staring at her for a moment before waving.

“Morning.” She murmured in response. “I’m going to cook breakfast. Is french toast okay?”

“Mhm.” He hummed. A minute and a trip to the bathroom later, the squirrel had joined the girl in the kitchen. He watched as she cooked, flipping the bread on the pan onto the other side.

“Sorry about last night..” He started, feeling the need to apologize. Even though she was completely inviting, allowing him to stay without a problem, he still felt like he was invading her quiet life.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I know that animals can hate storms, and just loud noises in general.” She reassured him, placing the bread on a plate. She never had a pet herself, but she recalled friends telling her how terrified their dogs are whenever it’s a holiday that involves fireworks. She placed another slice of bread on the pan, letting it cook as she talked to him.

“Thank you.. It’s just.. I lost my family during the last hurricane a few months ago… ” He started, staring blankly at the french toast as she decorated it with whipped cream and strawberries. He was used to explaining this to other animals, hoping they’d seen them somewhere. “Our tree fell down, and the winds and flood took me..” He took a breath, “I haven’t seen them since.”

“Do you want me to help you find them..?” She asked hesitantly. She didn’t know if he would take that in the wrong way, she hoped not.

He watched as she flipped the bread around, “Would you really?” He didn’t think that a human would really have the time or patience to be searching for three little squirrels.

“Yes. I need the company, anyway. Also, you seem to know the area better so a tour guide wouldn’t be too bad.” She joked, winking as she handed him the french toast.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it. And for the food too, thank you.” He stuttered, taking the food happily. He was so excited to indulge in this plate. He never tasted whipped cream before. He could only stare at the desserts through the windows of the cafes he passed by. “I think.. I’ll go back to the tree when I finish.. Just let me know when you have time to go.”

“I will, and don’t worry. You’re free to come over anytime if you need anything.” She said while adding her own toppings onto her french toast. She smiled at first out of politeness, but it became genuine when she realized how easily she made a new friend, especially for a hybrid. It told her that she would be fine in this new neighborhood.

While eating, she learned that Hongjoong had been living, searching, and exploring in the area for about a year, so he knew the place pretty well. That meant that while searching for his family, he could also be giving her a tour of the city. With this knowledge, the two made the decision to start off sooner, the next day.

NEXT - 02 TYDEONGI

COMING SOON

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