This Is The Music Video For My Song "I See Love" From My Album "Of Life & Death"

I am fleeting.

Sincere thank you to everyone who's been listening, sharing, and supporting my music! I'm about to renovate this whole house to be one giant music and art studio!

DMT saved my life. If you're going through turmoil of any nature and you're thinking about trying DMT or ayahuasca this is just my endorsement for whatever it's worth. I'd be dead or in prison if it wasn't for trying DMT. I'm making this post and I will continue to make a similar post at least once a year just in case it helps anyone. I had a lot of issues but one of the biggest ones was that I was addicted to heroin. I literally couldn't go a day without it for years....one day I couldn't get it and someone gave me DMT saying it would help. It was 3:33 in the morning when I took that inhale alone in my bedroom later that night. I was desperate and honestly didn't think it was going to do much. That was 5 years ago, now. My whole life changed. I stopped using hard drugs literally instantly. It felt like my brain had been reprogrammed and improved. Keep in mind I haven't mentioned anything about the experience. I won't because it's just too much but ill say this: it lasted a matter of minutes, it was the most intense experience of my life, and afterwards I thought about it and personally prayed for 2 hours straight in awe of how much I had learned and experienced in such a short yet unmeasurable amount of time. If you're afraid of the experience, all I can say is it's worth it.

I am your last chapter.

Photo by Ariel Erna for my 2018 visual campaign “Dirty Mirrors”.

I am drunk.

Shoutout to @one_matgarita_please on Instagram! Thanks for digitally painting me!

It's been a crazy fucking journey coming back to life after quite a long and dark battle with heroin and fentanyl. Throughout it she's been on my mind everyday. At all hours of the day and night I'm haunted by the thought I'll never be with her, again. I try to let go but I can't. I can still see her in the back of a memory somewhere smiling back at me with all the love in the world. She refuses to talk to me, now.. I fucked up everything :(

What does heroin feel like?

Some people believe the afterlife or Heaven or whatever you want to call it is whatever you imagine it to be. Something like an endless and infinite lucid dream. I believe that’s what heroin is to people. It’s whatever you want it to be. It can be your lover or your enemy. It can be your Heaven or your Hell, your God or your Devil. When people hear about my past, the things I’ve done...the ones that never been in that world, at the edge of the world, the place where death holds your hand until it’s cold as ice: they always want to know one thing. They all ask the same question. “What did the high feel like?”. The fact that no one ever asks what the withdrawal is like shows that people really think addiction is a choice or people are just choosing over and over again to get high. Well, you know what the high is. Whatever you want it to be. Let me tell you about the withdrawal. It’s like being aboard a space ship that is running out of air supply and you know you only have 12 hours to live and right when you’re about to die, literally right at the end when you have your last breath, out of no-where the oxygen begins to flow again and you’re fine. Then the next day it happens again and then the next day and so on and so forth. To be on heroin is always knowing your inevitable demise within hours and then at the last second being saved. It is nothingness in waiting and all time is on a borrowed watch from a character in a lost dream you once had. The only way to escape is to let yourself die. That’s how the brain perceives it. So no it’s not like hitting a joint kind of high. It’s entering the realms of nothingness. For the first few times it’s whatever you want it to be to leave Earth. You can feel euphoric and free and loved until you can’t come back. Then you’re just lost in orbit. The oxygen begins run out, and you’re stuck. The only way to come back to Earth is to let yourself die.

Ashes to ashes We don't clean the dust But we do what we can And we do what we must....