Latest Posts by mikachuchan - Page 9
Me: HERO! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!!!! NO TRUE HERO HAS A DOG AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT IT!!!! The public that supports the hero: *gasp*
You are a super villain and for your latest diabolical scheme, you’ve kidnapped the hero’s dog to lure them into a trap. Except it turns out the “hero” doesn’t care about the dog. You take offense to this.
Me inside my head: Okay how the fuck is this possible?!
You are in court for murder, when your lawyer shows a video of a sports game with you in the audience and proves that you are innocent. However despite having the ticket and the claims of having gone to the game, you actually did commit the crime and have no idea what you just saw on the video.
Me: Why am I here? Demon: BECAUSE YOU CAUSED THIS!!! Me: I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING CURSE ME fey's lawyer: She's got a point fey: Please just be quiet.....
the demon that cursed you with infertility and the fey that you promised your firstborn are having a legal battle.
Me: Good luck bitch! Genin: WHY ARE YOU IN PAIN?! Me: PERIOD CRAMPS BITCH!
The genie only has to grant you one more wish before finally gaining his freedom from the lamp. Tired of your everyday life, you wish for the genie to replace you and live your life for a whole year, while you go on vacation. “Oh okay, how bad could that be?”, the genie thought to himself.
Me: "Okay then, I sense cowpox... Let's turn that into smallpox and kill you! Please don't cough!"
You’re the healer of the group. The rest of the party has always treated you like you’re made of glass. You were content to stay out of their way and let them do their thing. Until they all got downed leaving you the only one standing. That’s when you show them how deadly healing magic can be.
Me:"It's just a prank? Well so is this bitch"
Ain’t it funny? We find a way to finally, actually hurt eldritch monstrosities, and suddenly they’re all like “It was just a test” “It’s just a prank bro” “We were just testing you”. How convenient.
Me:"Corruption in the order?" Them:"Yup" Me:"Can I quit?"
You, a Paladin, have been sent to hunt down a former member of your order, but you now have started to doubt. Your holy light flickers, barely a candle anymore, but theirs? It shines brighter than the sun.
Me: Yeah fuck that. I'M TRAUMATIZED AS FUCK SO I QUIT!!!
After being a superhero for decades and experiencing many awful events, you make a horrifying discovery: you don’t age and will never be able to retire
Me:"What the actual fuck. WHY?!"
“You know how Holy Water is lethal to demons? Well, Hot Dog Water does the same thing to Angels.”
Me: Immortal! Vampire: FELLOW VAMPIRE!!! Me: NO! I'M IMMORTAL!!!
You are a carpenter for a select community of vampires. You have been working with them for centuries, you just don’t know how to tell them you are not actually a vampire.
Me: Umm.... hey boss? Boss: any new leads on that case? Me: Yeah, I found myself Boss: What?? Me: Turns out I was kidnapped and my parent's aren't my parents! Boss: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
You’re a detective that opens up an old missing child case from 1997, after new evidence had occurred. You stumble back from desk in shock. You’re the missing 1997 child
Neighbor with a farm: "WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY POTATOES?!" Or Zeus steals the from the store.
Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.
Apirl: "Do you feel bonita?" Them: "Yes" April: "GOOD BECAUSE YOU LOOK BONITA!"
Get a fire extinguisher. It's getting too hot in here🔥
Me: *internally to the alien mind* NO! MY DOGS ARE NOT FOOD!!!!
After a freak accident, you start experiencing strange abilities and visions of an alien world. You soon realize that an alien consciousness has merged with yours. How do you navigate this new existence, and what do the aliens want from Earth?
Me: *looks at Genie laws* Huh.... Okay looks like it's allowed. Master: I'm a lawyer Me: That explains it.
You are a genie. Predictably, your latest master uses their first wish to wish for infinite wishes, but you tell them you’re unable to give infinite wishes. What you didn’t expect was that they would instead use their first wish to wish that you were able to give infinite wishes.
Wait! So I don't get laid?! That's not gonna work for me! . . . Oh! I married an Asexual. I don't have to have sex. (this is meant as a joke and also HAPPY PRIDE TO MY LOVELY ACE PEOPLE!)
Writing Prompt: A mysterious book appears on your doorstep. Every time you open it, a different story from your future is revealed. You might make discoveries, have to face decisions, and even learn how parts of your future affect your present actions.
Guess what Fish! I'm in Mexico and almost got scammed!
awawawaawa
:3
bleeeeh -w-
y'know?
That kid is going places. And I wish to follow
Fairy: Here. Give them this cookie, tell them it's from a friend Me: Good idea, he'll be taken to the fairy world or starve to death! Make sure to keep those cookies comin' since more bank people WILL come Fairy: YOU GOT IT!
Some fairies have taken residence on your property, and have grown fond of you, as much as those with such alien morals can. And they are not happy when the bank tried to foreclose on you.
SLAMS IT EVEN HARDER!!!
Just in case you forget this exists.
It exists.
HOLD UP! . . . PEOPLE FIGURED OUT HOW TO READ THE BOOK?! AND THE LADYBUG PAGE JUST SAYS LADYBUG?! Why am I the last one to know??????? And why am I so dumb???
I don't remember well, but about the decoding, it was laughable poorly made, it was either gibberish or simple thing like " this the ladybug it's red" and some even have the modern names of the heroes? Like i remember the fox stil was call Volpina in the ancient book
That's what I'm saying! Once everyone figured out that the symbols on the Ladybug page literally said L A D Y B U G, the rest was easy, UTTERLY easy!
WE LOVE STOLAS AND ANGEL DUST OKAY?! WHY WOULDN'T IT GET 1K?!
Do you think sinners miss the night sky..?
(Please click for better quality!!)
Me: NO! GET THAT OUT OF YOU MOUTH!!! My older brother: *biting a wasp's nest* Me:*screams in anger*
You were born to a brood of hundreds, your siblings all hopelessly mindless and brutal, yet you somehow were born with sentience, now you have to find your own way in a world of monsters and monster hunters.
You fucking know I'm reblogging! I WILL THROW A SHOE FOR YOU ACES!!! I WILL HIT SOMEONE WITH A HIGH HEEL FOR YOU!!!
Reblog this if you support sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces, including:
Aces who never want to have sex
Aces who had sex in the past but don't desire it anymore
Aces with sexual trauma who feel like their trauma ties into their asexuality
Aces with sexual trauma who don't feel like their trauma caused their asexuality
Aces who don't want to talk to you about sex
Aces who don't want to hear about sex
Yes even aces who do not want to engage with any sexual content and don't want it in their own personal spaces
Yes even aces who express the desire to have more spaces for queer adults where their boundaries are met (on top of the queer spaces that exist, we do not want to sanitize your existing spaces ffs)
If you cannot be normal about these people existing, if you believe they're a threat to our community and to how we're viewed by people who aren't aspec and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not an asexual ally. Yes, even if you're aspec yourself. Especially if you're aspec yourself.
Because it's been pride month for 4 days and I'm already seeing people trying to throw us under the bus or pretend we don't exist because that makes the ace community more palatable to exclusionists and people who swallowed too much "aces are puritans" propaganda.
God
who gave me all this autism
Me: THE FUCK IS THE COLOR KERIGN?
Technology has finally advanced to the point where humans can get surgery to see colors invisible to them before. However, this ends up letting them see things humans were never meant to comprehend…
And I fear you
what would you do if there were a post right in front of you
Depends on if it was Owl post with my letter from Hogwarts or not
what would you do if there were a post right in front of you
I look like a fucking man
I'm not gonna sugar coat it!!!!!
you're very beautiful.
and yeah,
you're gonna have to deal with that for the rest of your life