๐ฟ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘™๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ƒ๐‘ก๏ผŽ1

๐ฟ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘™๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ƒ๐‘ก๏ผŽ1

๐ท๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘†โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘ฅ ๐ด๐‘™๐‘™๐‘–๐‘’ ๐‘†๐‘œ๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘œ๐‘›โ€™๐‘ 

๐‘†๐‘ข๐‘š๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘ฆ๏ผ›๐ท๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘†โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘”๐‘œ๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’. ๐‘‡๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘š๐‘ฆ ๐‘†โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘๐‘ฆ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘‘ ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘›๐‘‘ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘š๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘“ ๐‘Ž ๐‘ค๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘› ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž ๐‘Ž ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘™๐‘‘ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐ท๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘ก ๐‘Ž๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘Ž ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ โ„Ž ๐‘๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘™ ๐‘–๐‘› ๐ฟ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘‘๐‘œ๐‘›. ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘‘ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘–๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘๐‘’ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘Ž๐‘”๐‘’ ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘’๐‘›. ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘“๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ฆ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘Ÿ. ๐ท๐‘œ๐‘Ÿ๐‘œ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ฆ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘œ๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘“๐‘–๐‘›๐‘–๐‘ โ„Ž ๐‘ ๐‘โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘œ๐‘™. ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ฃ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ค๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘”. ๐‘Ž๐‘“๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ฆ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘  ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘›๐‘œ๐‘ก ๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘’๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’ โ„Ž๐‘œ๐‘ค ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘ก. ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘คโ„Ž๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘’๐‘’๐‘ก๐‘  ๐‘Ž ๐‘ก๐‘Ž๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ž๐‘Ÿ๐‘‘๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘”๐‘’๐‘Ÿ. ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘™๐‘™ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ก ๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘๐‘ข๐‘ก ๐‘Ž ๐‘๐‘–๐‘”๐‘”๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘ ๐‘ก๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘–๐‘› ๐‘œ๐‘› โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘Ÿ๐‘’๐‘™๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘ โ„Ž๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘ค๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘Ÿ ๐‘“๐‘Ž๐‘š๐‘–๐‘™๐‘ฆ.

๐ฟ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘™๐‘’ ๐‘š๐‘–๐‘ ๐‘  ๐‘™๐‘œ๐‘›๐‘’๐‘™๐‘ฆ ๐‘ƒ๐‘ก๏ผŽ1

When she was young all Dorothy wanted to do was to make her farther proud of her. When he came home from war. It was like the little girl had turned in to a complete stranger. She would draw him pictures only to later find them in the bin. She tried everything. She always did well in school but none of it was never enough for him.

So soon enough the young girl stood trying. She didnโ€™t even speak with her so called farther. Dorothy couldnโ€™t remember a time when the two of them had a conversation. She would watch the way John was with his children. How he would swing Katie around and cuddle her. She often imagined that her dad would do that to her.

But that day never came. And now here she was. in an all girls boarding school. She only had a few months of school left. She hated the place. It was filled with nuns. And there was one strange perverted priest. But Dorothy managed to keep out of trouble. Her quietness kept her away from most of the cruel punishments.

She did have to admit. That the place was incredibly lonely. She had no friends. And she didnโ€™t receive any mail on Fridays like the rest of the girls. And Fridays were the days that Dorothy would spend on her own in her bedroom crying. She just wanted someone to write to her. Ask her if she was ok. Ask her how she was doing.

She just longed for one little letter. And then she received one. But it was far from the one she expected. It was an investment to her fartherโ€™s wedding. No are you ok? No. How are you? Just a shot in invitation. โ€˜๐‘ฆ๐‘œ๐‘ข โ„Ž๐‘Ž๐‘ฃ๐‘’ ๐‘๐‘’๐‘’๐‘› ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘ฃ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘‘ ๐‘ก๐‘œ ๐‘Ž๐‘ก๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘ค๐‘’๐‘‘๐‘‘๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘‡๐‘œ๐‘š๐‘Ž๐‘  ๐‘†โ„Ž๐‘’๐‘™๐‘๐‘ฆ ๐‘Ž๐‘›๐‘‘ ๐บ๐‘Ÿ๐‘Ž๐‘๐‘’ ๐ต๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘”๐‘’๐‘ ๐‘  ๐‘œ๐‘› ๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘’ ๐‘“๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘’๐‘›๐‘กโ„Ž ๐‘œ๐‘“ ๐‘†๐‘’๐‘๐‘ก๐‘’๐‘š๐‘๐‘’๐‘Ÿโ€™ that was in four days. And all Dorothy wanted to do was to shove the invitation down her fartherโ€™s throat.

But the young woman chose to be civilised and decided to attend. She had taken the train to Birmingham and she would probably call a taxi from the train stations public phone. She had worn one of her best dresses. And she had gotten her hair cut. Her hair was nearly down her back when she was fourteen and now she had it cut to her shoulders with pretty curls.

She had changed a lot in four years. She looked nothing like she did when she had first left for London. And her voice was very much different. Her words always sounded very smart. And she had a strong posh London accent. She no longer sounded as rough as she once did and Dorothy quite liked the change.

She wanted to leave every thing that reminded her of her last life. She watched out of the window as the taxi pulled up to the church. It was large. She saw some men standing out side smoking a cigarette. She had arrived ten minutes early. But it seemed as though she was not the only one which put her mind at ease lightly.

As Dorothy exited the car she handed the money over to the man bidding him a fair well. The young woman made her way over to the church noticing some of the men smoking their cigarettes outside staring at her. They were wearing cavalry uniforms which confused her. She remembered how much her family hated the cavalry.

A lot has changed. She gripped her small purse in her hands. As she walked through the doors of the church. The rows were full and Dorothy could see her farther stood at the front with her uncle. Dorothy walked quickly hoping that they did not notice her. And just her luck they did not. She took a seat next to a large man with a beard. He did seem to mind as she sat down.

She noticed Finn in the corner of her eye looking at her. The two of them were once close. Dorothy would often comfort Finn after he had had a nightmare or when he had been told of for being naughty and he was yelled at. The two of them were friends. Well that was what Dorothy thought until she went a month without a single letter from anyone.

Dorothy looked away from the boys eyes. She also noticed the man next to her starring at her. She felt a soft pink colour paint her cheeks. Dorothy had chosen to sit further away down the church as the family of the groom and bride were sat. She wasn't ready for any awkward confrontations yet.

She turned to look at the man she was seated next to. He was much taller than her self. His face had some scars on it. He seemed rather friendly in his body language. But he hadn't spoken to her. And Dorothy understood. She was a stranger and so was he to her. So she didn't bother to engage in to small talk.

The church looked beautiful and elegant. And her family all looked to be wearing expensive clothes which was very different to what they wore when Dorothy lived with them. She felt out of place. Her dress was cheep and she had bought it in a small boutique in town. She shrunk down in her chair. Now Embarrassed of the way she was dressed.

It felt like they were all going forward and they were just leaving her behind. And she was just like some kind of dead weight. A young man came around with the lyrics of the songs that they would sing in church. The man next to her didnโ€™t accept the paper. But Dorothy smiled taking it from the young manโ€™s hands.

Of course with four years of church every day. Dorothy practically new every word of the songs. But the young boy looked scared from talking to the man next to her. So she thought she should be kind. And it seemed to work. The young boy looked more relieved as he returned the kind smile to Dorothy. And carried on handing the slips of paper to the rest of the people.

As the church choir sang in the bleak midwinter. Everyone sat in silence. And soon Jeremiah Jesus came forward graces side looked disgusted with the fact that their was a man of colour who would marry grace and Tomas. But Jeremiah didnโ€™t let that bother him as he walked forward taking his place at the stand.

And then the music began to play. Dorothy and the rest were all waiting for grace to come down the isle. She looked around at the rest of the family. None of them had noticed her here. And she couldnโ€™t lie she felt really disappointed. She thought that at least one of them would have noticed her being at the bloody wedding.

And then grace came out from behind the door with her farther holding her hand as he was dressed in a cavalry uniform. A dark purple vail was placed over her face so nobody could see her face. All of the women on graces side of the family all fussed over about how lovely she looked. But the Shelby women didnโ€™t look very happy. Dorothy wasnโ€™t really bothered.

Tommy removed the vail off of his future wifeโ€™s face. They both smiled at one another. Before they both turned towards Jeremiah Jesus. Waiting for him to marry the couple. Dorothy heard the man at the side of her let out a unhappy grunt. Dorothy turned to look at him. He was also looking at her. Making the young woman blush as she turned back around.

โ€œDearly beloved, we are all gathered here today to join together in holy matrimony. Tomas Michael Shelby and Grace Helen Burgess. Do you Tomas Michael Shelby, Take Grace Helen Burgess to be your lawfully wedded wife ?โ€ Jeremiah asked her father. And he turned to look at grace. โ€œI doโ€ he said proudly.

โ€œDo You Grace Helen B๏ฟผ๏ฟผurges. Solemnly swear to love, honour, and obey till death do you part. ?โ€ Jeremiah now turned to grace and asked her. And she once again smiled and turned to her soon to be husband. โ€œI doโ€ she smiled saying it with the same pride as tommy did. โ€œI now pronounce you husband and wife.โ€ And the newly wedded couple brought one an other in for a kiss. Making everyone clap and cheer.

Everyone then made their way out of the church and outside. Dorothy was stood on her own. It was like nobody cared about her. She felt like a fool. As she stood with her purse in her hand. She just wished that she could go home. She watched as the two familyโ€™s gathered around for a photo. And heat Dorothy was not in it.

She watched as they all smiled together. Tommy and grace then climbed in to their carriage to drive to their home. She turned to see the man she was sat next to in the church standing besides her. โ€œWho are you then.โ€ His voice was rough and his frame was much larger than hers. But Dorothy sent him a soft sad smile.

โ€œDorothy but itโ€™s not like anyone remembersโ€ she said sadly looking at the man as she played with the purse in her hands. The man studied her. And he looked at her confused. He clearly didnโ€™t understand her answer but he didnโ€™t bother to question her which she was great full for.

โ€œAy been there. You need a lift.โ€ He asked when he noticed she hadnโ€™t come with anyone and women were not allowed to drive so she wouldnโ€™t be able to get to Arrow house. Dorothy gave the man a genuine smile. No longer sad.

โ€œIf you really donโ€™t mind.โ€ Dorothy said. Her voice was soft. She was sweet. And there werenโ€™t many people like that anymore and Alfie could tell that there was something wrong. And he didnโ€™t want to engage In awkward small talk with his driver. When Alfie just wanted to blow his fucking brains out.

โ€œAy. Not at allโ€ alfie said walking towards his car with Dorothy following behind him. Finn watched from the steps of the church. He knew he had to tell Tommy. He didnโ€™t trust Alfie and he really didnโ€™t trust Alfie around Dorothy. She didnโ€™t know about the business that Tommy and Alfie had. So she was vulnerable.

Alfie opens the door for Dorothy and gave her his hand helping her inside the car. She sat down on the right side of the car. Tucking her purse in at her side. The driver gave Alfie a questioning look. But Alfie just nodded at him to drive.

โ€œWho are you then. Iโ€™ve given you my name.โ€ Dorothy smiled. At Alfie who nodded his head at her words. He was nervous that she would know who he was. And be scared of him. His name was well known. And many people already feared him.

โ€œAlfie, Alfie Solomonsโ€ he told her leaning back in his seat in the car. His name sounded familiar. But Dorothy couldnโ€™t exactly put her finger on it so she just left it. And shrugged it off and smiled at him.

โ€œItโ€™s a pleasure to meet you mr Solomons, so what are you doing at my dads wedding?.โ€ Dorothy asked. Not noticing the shocked look on Alfieโ€™s face as the words came out of her mouth. But he tried to keep his cool.

โ€œMe and tommy. Weโ€™re business partners. Didnโ€™t know he had a a girl. Thought it was just the little one.โ€ He said as he stared at Dorothy whoโ€™s expression suddenly changed. She looked sad. Really sad.

โ€œYeah, I was sent away. For school in London. I donโ€™t even think he remembers me. I donโ€™t think anyone does.โ€ She said sadly looking down at her hands with a sigh. Now Alfie felt bad. And that was a rare thing. Alfie never felt sorry for people. Not even for himself.

โ€œMaybe thatโ€™s a good thing ay. You donโ€™t want to be with them. Bunch a bastards if ya ask me.โ€ Alfie said his voice rough as he placed his top hat on his head. Dorothy giggled at his comment finding him funny as he cheered her up. Maybe this whole wedding wouldnโ€™t be so bad.

โ€œI suppose your right.โ€ She laughed. Alfie watched as she did. The way the dimples on her cheeks became more visible and he got to see her beautiful hazel doe eyes. As the car pulled up to arrow house. Cars were all over the place and Alfie ordered his driver to pull up right at the door. And then to park the car once him and Dorothy were gone.

โ€œWait thereโ€ he told her with his thick London accent as he got out of the car. Dorothy did as he had said and remained in her seat. She was not sure as to why. But she did not bother to question him. Then her door opened and their Alfie stood with his hand out for Dorothy to hold so it was easy for her to exit the car.

The young woman smiled at him taking his hand in to hers. As she jumped down from the car. She thanked him as she strained her dress down. And Alfieโ€™s hand left hers. So she used both of her hands to hold on to her bag. Her and Alfie walked in to the large home.

It was beautiful. This was far from what Dorothy remembered living in. She remembered a small home. With stained walls. And dirty floors. And this. This was amazing. She felt so left out. While she was still learning how to cook and clean. Everyone else was living life to the fullest.

But underneath her and Alfie. There was a meeting. And her name might just come up. Tommy took of his jacket with a cigarette hanging from his lips. As John and Arthur finally appeared on the stairs. Finn was eating whatever he could get his hands in and all of the other peaky boys made their way in to the room.

โ€œRight boys, youโ€™re all here. Today is my fucking wedding day.โ€ Tommy was about to carry on with his speech before John interrupted him. โ€œYeah and you said. Thereโ€™d be no bloody uniformsโ€ John told his older brother angrily.

โ€œNeverthelessโ€ฆ nevertheless, Johnโ€ฆdespite the bad blood, Iโ€™ll have none of it in my carpet. Now for graces sake, nothing will go wrong. Those bastards out there are her family. And if you fuckers do anything to embarrass her, your kin, your cousins, your horses, your fucking kids. You do anythingโ€ฆโ€ Tommy said in an angry rage once again before he was once again rudely interrupted.

โ€œTom?โ€ Isaiah said and tommy turned to look at him his face still angry. โ€œWhat about snow?โ€ He asked curiously. โ€œYeah their women are sports Iโ€™ll say thatโ€ฆโ€ John laughed bringing Isaiah in to a head lock. Scratching his scalp making the younger boy laugh.

โ€œNo. No. No. no cocaine. No cocaine. No sport. No telling fortunes. No racing. No fucking sucking petrol out of their fucking cars. And, you Charlie, stop spinning yarns about me, eh? โ€œ tommy told everyone of the men individually.

โ€œIโ€™m just trying to sell you to them. Tom.โ€ Charlie told his nephew. Finn was wondering when he should tell Tommy about Dorothy and the fact that Alfie was trying to get close to her. He knew that Tommy wouldnโ€™t be happy. But then again Tommy hadnโ€™t seen the girl in four years and no one other than Finn recognised her anyway.

โ€œBut the main thing is, you bunch of fuckers, desire the provocation from the cavalry. No fighting, Oi! No fighting. No fucking fighting. No fighting. No fucking fighting.!โ€ Tommy shouted at the men as he went and stood next to Arthur until a male maid bumped in to him. Tommy pushed the man to the floor. โ€œGet the fuck off me!โ€ And then Arthur through a glass at him.

โ€œTom. Dollyโ€™s here. But sheโ€™s all different her hair itโ€™s short and sheโ€™s well sheโ€™s wearing a dress.โ€ Finn said out loud. All of the men turned ti look at him. Clearly shocked that Dorothy was here. Tommy looked the most shocked. He didnโ€™t think she would really come. Especially after he had been a massive dick. He hadnโ€™t written her a single letter. No one had. She spent four years off her life by herself. And now tommy was having to come to terms with all of his guilt.

Tommy didnโ€™t say anything as he left the kitchen and back out to the party in the home. He searched around for a young woman matched the description of what Finn had told him dolly now looked like. But what he saw was not what he wanted.

His daughter sat with Alfie fucking Solomons

More Posts from M14mags and Others

m14mags
8 months ago

HAPPY LOWMAN MASTERLIST 2๐ŸŒด

You can find all chapters of A LITTLE LOST below!

HAPPY LOWMAN MASTERLIST 2๐ŸŒด

Disclaimer; I don't own any of the SOA characters nor the original storyline. All the rights go to Kurt Sutter and the other producers of the show. I do, however, own my original characters and the added storylines I come up with.

Warningโš ๏ธ; 18+ only! All stories will have mature content in it, which means that there will be detailed sexual content, violence, blood and gore, domestic violence, sensitive topics, mental health issues etc. If any of these topics will be mentioned or written out in detail, there will be an extra trigger warning in this particular chapter.

tag list; If you want to get tagged in each chapter, leave a comment! โ˜€๏ธ

INTRODUCTION CHAPTER

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTERE TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN / LAST CHAPTER

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m14mags
4 weeks ago

on the line

interconnected standalone/sequel-ish to bitter/sweet and fallout - a Dr. Jack Abbot (The Pitt) fanfic

On The Line

pairing: Jack Abbot x f!reader

summary: Jack takes a six-week placement across the country. Four specific FaceTime callsโ€”full of banter, longing, and everything unsaidโ€”hold you two together until he comes home.

warnings/tags: grumpy x sunshine, age gap, long-distance relationship, mild language

word count: 5.0k

On The Line

โ€œWhat are you wearing?โ€ย 

You cracked one eye open, squinting against the soft glow of your bedside lamp. Jack was staring at you through the screen of your phone, propped up on your nightstand. His image was bright against the dim lighting, accenting the sharp set of his jaw and the smirk playing at his lips.

โ€œYou know what Iโ€™m wearing โ€“ weโ€™re on FaceTime,โ€ you mumbled into your pillow, voice thick with sleep. Your limbs felt heavy under the familiar weight of your comforter. โ€œWhen are you coming back?โ€ย 

โ€œYou know when Iโ€™m coming back,โ€ he echoed, mimicking your tone. โ€œWhyโ€™re you asking โ€“ miss me?โ€ His voice dropped an octave, teasing, and you saw his eyes flick down your form as you shifted to get more comfortable beneath the covers.

This had been an ongoing game for the last month โ€“ every time you talked, one of you tried to get the other to admit they missed them first. Neither of you had cracked.ย 

Now, that didnโ€™t mean you didnโ€™t miss him. Quite the opposite, actually.ย 

Jack had been gone for three weeks now, having been offered an intensive placement at UCLA Medical Center. You could still remember how he broke the newsโ€”quietly, nonchalantly, like he didnโ€™t want to make a big deal out of itโ€”and how youโ€™d smiled widely and pushed him to take it even as something inside you fought every move.

This is UCLA, you told yourself. He has to take it; itโ€™s an incredible opportunity. How many times does something like this come along?

But knowing it was the right decision didnโ€™t make it easier.

Six weeks. Forty-two days. Nearly fifty sunsets without him.ย 

After spending almost every day together, the sudden absence had carved out a hollow space in your chest.

The first week, you felt his absence immensely. But you figured, with time, itโ€™d get easier.ย 

Oh, how wrong you were.

The ache didnโ€™t dull. It sharpened. Everything reminded you of him โ€“ย how much heโ€™d probably roll his eyes at a joke Eleni told during service, how heโ€™d immediately get to cleaning your apartment if he saw how messy it had gotten, how heโ€™d let you follow him around if he was back at the hospital when you were dropping dinner off for your sister.ย 

Luckily, technology was on your side. While he was in California, you texted him constantly โ€“ mostly one-sided updates on your day, the chaos of the kitchen, the new weird thing your landlord did. He replied in his usual charming fashion: a โ€œKโ€ here, a thumbs-up emoji there.

FaceTime was more his speed. Every night, your phone took up its spot on your nightstand while you curled into bed, half-asleep before he even picked up. He was usually just getting ready for his shift โ€“ย brushing his teeth, dressing in his scrubs, sometimes sitting in the car with one hand on the wheel.ย 

โ€œAt least itโ€™s regulating my sleep cycle,โ€ youโ€™d joked during one call, watching him frown in that subtle, concerned way he did.

โ€œYou love me doing night shifts,โ€ heโ€™d countered. โ€œSaid it keeps you on your toes, guessing.โ€

โ€œYeah, guessing how much sleep Iโ€™m gonna get that night,โ€ youโ€™d teased back, and heโ€™d huffed a small laugh.ย 

Now here he was, two weeks from coming home, asking you what you were wearing in that low, steady voice of his that always had knots forming in your stomach.

โ€œYou already know Iโ€™m wearing one of your hundred black tees,โ€ you mumbled, cheek sinking deeper into your pillow.ย 

โ€œNo panties?โ€ he asked, a hint of a smirk at his lips as his eyes gleamed with mischief.

With minimal effort, you peeled back the duvet just enough for him to catch a glimpse of his boxers sitting low on your hips.

โ€œYou do miss me,โ€ he grinned triumphantly, a quiet chuckle escaping him. You sighed through a small smile, eyes fluttering shut. His voice, even through the phone, grounded you. โ€œTell me what you did today.โ€

You took a moment to think, thoughts clouded by sleep and the warmth of your sheets. โ€œTried out a new truffle recipe,โ€ you murmured.ย 

Sure enough, you peeked an eye open just in time to catch his nose wrinkle in disgust. He hated truffles.

The sight made you smile โ€“ย even 3,000 miles away, Jack was still so Jack.

โ€œDinner rush was crazy โ€“ย some show was going on at the theatre down the block so we were packed. Almost ran into one of the sommeliers rushing out of the kitchen. Nicked my finger on the bottle opener he was holding.โ€

โ€œLet me see,โ€ he said immediately, and you pulled your hand from under the covers and held it up to the camera, watching his eyes narrow. โ€œDid someone at the Pitt take a look?โ€

โ€œMy sister did,โ€ you said, brushing it off. โ€œItโ€™s fine โ€“ย just a scrape.โ€

He frowned that familiar, pinched-brow frown.

โ€œYou should keep it wrapped,โ€ he muttered. โ€œCould get infected.โ€ย 

You mirrored his expression, this time out of something deeper โ€“ย affection, mingled with longing. โ€œI miss you medically scolding me.โ€ย 

Jack paused a beat, then offered softly, โ€œI can still do it over the phone. Thatโ€™s why they invented FaceTime.โ€ย 

โ€œIโ€™m pretty sure thatโ€™s not true,โ€ you giggled sleepily, burrowing deeper into your sheets. The weight of him not being there settled over you again, dense and unrelenting.ย 

Silence stretched for a moment before you opened your eyes again. Jack was still looking at you. โ€œWhat?โ€ you asked, your voice small.

He hesitated. โ€œNothingโ€ฆ you just look tired.โ€

But the way he said itโ€”gentle, weightedโ€”made your throat tighten.ย 

You didnโ€™t just look tired.

You missed him. You missed sleeping better when he was beside you, the steady rhythm of his breathing syncing with yours as your limbs tangled together. You missed the safety, the stillness. Without him, everything felt a little bit off.

Your hand drifted across the sheets, reaching for his side of the bed โ€“ย cold, untouched. Your fingers curled into the empty space as if you could will it to hold his warmth. That familiar ache bloomed in your chest again, pressing hard against your ribs, forcing you to acknowledge it.

And the way he was looking at you right nowโ€”gaze just soft enough for you to see the emotion behind itโ€”it made the distance hard to bear.ย 

You wanted to ask him to come back early. Just say it. Just tell him.

But you didnโ€™t.

He was doing something important โ€“ย teaching residents, working alongside brilliant attendings, contributing to something meaningful. You couldnโ€™t ask him to give that up. So you buried it, like always.

Instead, you asked, โ€œAny exciting cases today?โ€ย 

Jack blinked at you, then shrugged, his voice returning to that calm, clinical cadence. โ€œSomeone said a guy came in with third-degree burns from resting his hand on the grill โ€“ย didnโ€™t realize his wife had turned it on.โ€ย 

You winced, turning your face into the pillow. โ€œUgh, Jack โ€“ย thatโ€™s gross.โ€ย 

He chuckled softly. โ€œReminds me of an old army buddy who met the wrong end of a crockpot once.โ€ย 

You hummed, already drifting. โ€œTell me about it.โ€ย 

You tried to stay awake, but the familiar and comforting tone of his low voice began to lull you to sleep. A few minutes into the story, Jack noticed your breathing had slowed.

You looked so peaceful.

He watched for a while, the silence between you warm and heavy, filled with all the things left unsaid.

Then, in a quiet voice that barely crossed the distance, he whispered a sweet good night to you and ended the call.

On The Line

Four weeks into the placement, when Jack FaceTimed you and you answered with a deep-set frown and red-rimmed eyes, he could already tell it would be one of those days.ย 

The hard days. The days one of you missed the other so much, it was impossible to ignore. The days your heart was three thousand miles away, tucked into the go-bag of your favorite ED attending, somewhere in a cramped locker room in Los Angeles.ย 

โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ he immediately asked, making your frown deepen.ย 

โ€œNothing,โ€ you promised, setting the phone down on your nightstand as you began to get ready for bed. The camera angle wobbled as you moved โ€“ย half of your frame disappearing, your voice muffled by distance and steam escaping from the open bathroom door behind you.

This was unusual. Whenever Jack called at this time, you were already tucked in bed, cozy and glowing, hair a little messy, a smile curling at the corners of your lips the moment you saw him.ย 

And, you always showered in the mornings โ€“ you said showering at night would intervene with how much time you two got to spend on FaceTime.ย 

Yet, here you were now โ€“ย hair wet from the shower, curling at the ends as you moved about your room, distracted and quieter than usual. You pulled on a soft t-shirt, then wandered off-screen, brushing your teeth with a kind of mechanical rhythm.

Jack stayed silent, watching.

He could tell something was bothering you.ย 

Your hands shook as you did your skincare โ€“ too much toner on the pad, moisturizer forgotten halfway through.

โ€œHow was your day?โ€ Jack asked slowly, treading lightly, trying to gauge how you were actually feeling.

โ€œFine,โ€ you mumbled, disappearing again. The faucet turned on in the background as you washed your hands, cool water grounding your overheated nerves before you slipped into bed wit a heavy sigh.ย 

Jackโ€™s voice came again, cautious, โ€œAnything happen?โ€ He tried to sound casual, but you werenโ€™t in the mood for it now.

You glanced at the screen sharply. โ€œLike what?โ€ย 

โ€œI donโ€™t know, justโ€ฆ anything good? Orโ€ฆ something bad?โ€ย 

Your jaw tensed as you looked past the phone, voice bitter. โ€œA critic came in today.โ€

โ€œOh?โ€ย 

You laughed humorlessly. โ€œI didnโ€™t even know who she was, and I told her to fuck off.โ€ย 

Jackโ€™s brow rose at that. โ€œAnd whyโ€™d you do that?โ€

โ€œBecause she was being an asshole โ€“ย and I didnโ€™t recognize her and I was rushing and โ€“ and I was exhausted. I just snapped and โ€“ and it wasnโ€™t even about her. Itโ€™s justโ€ฆ Iโ€™m tired. Iโ€™m so tired of pretending this isnโ€™t hard.โ€ย ย 

Jack paused, his face softening, the weight of your words hanging thickly between you.

โ€œWhy didnโ€™t you tell me you were feeling like this?โ€ย 

You shrugged, unwilling to meet his eyes. โ€œBecause itโ€™s not your fault,โ€ you finally said. โ€œAnd I didnโ€™t want to make it your problem.โ€ย 

โ€œYouโ€™re not a problem.โ€ย 

His voice was quiet, thick with the guilt settling into his stomach.

You immediately noticed the shift in his tone โ€“ย soft and frayed around the edges.

โ€œI didnโ€™t say it to make you feel guilty,โ€ you said, gaze now locking onto his, unwavering.ย 

โ€œI know,โ€ he replied, tiredly dragging a hand down his face, like he wanted to crawl through the screen and pull you into his arms.

โ€œI justโ€ฆ I miss you.โ€ย 

There it was.

Youโ€™d finally said it.

And yet, it didnโ€™t make you feel like youโ€™d lost the game โ€“ย at least, not in the way you thought. And, it didnโ€™t make Jack feel like he won, either.

โ€œI miss you every day,โ€ you continued. โ€œI miss you so much I donโ€™t know where to put it anymore. Itโ€™s just there. Always. Like a weight on my chest. And every day, you โ€“ย you pick up the phone and I see your face and youโ€™re fine. Smilingโ€ฆ Happy. And, itโ€™s just โ€“ย justโ€ฆ Donโ€™t you miss me? Like, even a little?โ€ย 

The moment you said it, you instantly regretted it.ย 

Jack could tell โ€“ the way your eyes squeezed shut in regret, like you wished you could pull the words right back into your chest. It broke his heart even more than hearing the desperation in your voice.ย 

He found himself looking away, swallowing hard. Then, finally, quietly, he said, โ€œOf course I miss you. I miss you all the time. I just โ€“ย I donโ€™t let myself think about it too long. If I do, I canโ€™t focus.โ€ย 

You knew heโ€™d never say anything hurtful on purpose but the comment still stung. A sharp pang, like a bruise pressed too hard.

If he missed you so much, how come it felt like you were the only one falling apart? If he missed you so much, why didnโ€™t it seem like he felt it?

Before you could stop yourself, the words spilled out. โ€œRight. Got it. Iโ€™m over here crying in the walk-in fridge like a lunatic and you get to compartmentalize.โ€ย 

His eyes flinched shut, barely perceptible โ€“ย but you saw it. Instantly regretted your words. And yet, you didnโ€™t take it back.

And he didnโ€™t push back either.

The silence grew too thick, claustrophobic.

After a beat, you shook your head, voice quieter now. โ€œYouโ€™re running late โ€“ย I should let you go. We can justโ€ฆ Iโ€™ll talk to you later, okay?โ€

Your hand reached for the screen, heart already retreating.

โ€œWait!โ€ Jackโ€™s voice rang out, startling you.

You hesitated, still refusing to meet his eyes, but something in you paused โ€“ย your ribs tightened at the strain in his voice.

โ€œI think about you all day,โ€ he admitted. โ€œI know I donโ€™t say it enough, but I do. I make a list in my head of all the things to tell you when we finally talk, and then when you pick up and give me that smile, I forget how to say any of it.โ€

You blinked.

That wasn't what you expected at all.

Still, he kept going. โ€œAnd I bought you this mug from the UCLA store, in the shape of a smiling sunny face. I keep it in my locker, drink coffee from it before the shift โ€“ย and all the residents look at me like Iโ€™m crazy. But it justโ€ฆ it reminds me of you. Keeps me grounded. Gets me through the shift.

โ€œAnd your voice notes โ€“ย I save them all. I listen to one specific one whenever I miss you more than usual โ€“ the one where you called me a broody bastard and then basically told me you missed me in the same breath.โ€ย 

That cracked something open in your chest. Like air rushing into lungs that had been holding their breath too long.

Soft tears lined your eyes. Not the frustrated kind. The aching, full-hearted kind.

You stared at the screen, heart thudding in your chest, throat thick with emotion. His face was still there โ€“ย steady, honest, eyes staring back at yours, so full of you. Of all the missing he hadnโ€™t said until now.

He missed you. Of course he missed you. Maybe not in the same noisy, unraveling way you did โ€“ย but in the quiet, deliberate way only Jack could. Through mugs and voice notes. Through saved recordings and mental lists. Through showing up, every night, even when words failed.

Your lip trembled as a tear ran down your cheek.

โ€œJackโ€ฆโ€ you breathed, the apology catching somewhere between a sob and a sigh.ย 

โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ you finally said, voice low and thick. โ€œI didnโ€™t mean what I said. I justย โ€“ย God โ€“ย I feel everything right now, and I donโ€™t know if itโ€™s hormones or just the distance or โ€“ โ€ย 

That four-letter word was at the tip of your tongue, but it didnโ€™t feel right to tell him over the phone. This deserved to be told in person. He deserved that.

Jackโ€™s face softened, almost imperceptibly, but you caught it โ€“ย the way his shoulders eased like something fragile in him had finally seemed to settle.

He didnโ€™t answer right away. Instead, after a beat, he deadpanned, โ€œItโ€™s both. I checked the app earlier.โ€ย 

You stared, stunned. Then, your eyes warmed, the corners crinkling as a small, disbelieving, shaky smile touched your lips. โ€œYou track my cycle on your phone?โ€ย 

He shrugged, a little too casual. โ€œEver since the brownies incident โ€“ย hell yeah.โ€ย 

On The Line

That conversation changed things โ€“ in the best way.ย 

It made both you and Jack more intentional about the time apart. More creative, more present. FaceTimes evolved into something more sacred, more playful. You started doing virtual date nights, much to Jackโ€™s technologically-deficient chagrin.

โ€œI can barely work this FaceCall thing, you want me to do what now?โ€, to which youโ€™d rolled your eyes and corrected, โ€œFaceTime,โ€ while suppressing a grin.

Heโ€™d grumbled, but you caught the way he cleared his evenings anyway โ€“ย made sure he wasnโ€™t on call any earlier than he needed to be, made sure his dinner (mediocre and suspiciously not homemade) was ready on time. Despite the mismatched time zones, you both made space. Youโ€™d end up eating hours apart, but โ€œtogetherโ€ nonetheless. And that was what mattered.

Six days before Jack was set to fly home, you had another one of these date nights.ย 

The screen flickered to life and there he was โ€“ย tousled hair you wished you could run your fingers through, half-zipped hoodie you wished you could burrow into, sitting cross-legged on a too-modern couch that definitely didnโ€™t belong to him. He held up a plastic takeout container like it was an offering.

โ€œDinner, courtesy of the fine culinary skills Iโ€™ve learned from you.โ€ย 

You raised a brow. โ€œThat looks suspiciously like pad Thai.โ€ย 

He shrugged. โ€œMaybe I cooked. Maybe the DoorDash guy and I are becoming best friends.โ€ย ย 

You snorted, curling deeper under your blanket as you reached for the remote. โ€œWhatโ€™d you do yesterday?โ€ย 

Jack leaned back with a groan, the kind that said his spine hated him and the previous night had been long. โ€œThis guy came in with a ridiculous chest injury. We had to work carefully around the nerve endings in his nipple and โ€“ย what?โ€ย 

He paused mid-sentence, catching the grin spreading across your face.

โ€œShould I be jealous by how excited you just got talking about someone elseโ€™s nipples?โ€ you teased.

Jack coughed, nearly choking on his water. โ€œJesus. It was a very complicated procedure. We had to be extremely precise.โ€ย 

โ€œOh, Iโ€™m sure his nipples were deeply moved by your devotion,โ€ you grinned.

โ€œYouโ€™re insufferable.โ€ย 

โ€œAnd you miss it.โ€ย 

โ€œUnfortunately,โ€ he deadpanned, mouth twitching.

You smiled, feeling that familiar warmth settle into your chest. God, you missed his face. You missed his voice, his sarcasm, the way he looked at you like you hung up the moon.ย 

You squinted at the screen. โ€œIs it just me or are you getting a tan?โ€ย 

Jack glanced down at his arms. โ€œWell, the sun does shockingly exist here. Unlike your vampire den of a kitchen.โ€ย 

โ€œI work best when the lights are dim, and you know that!โ€ย 

He smirked. โ€œSure. That explains why every time you call me from there, you look like youโ€™re in a hostage video.โ€ย 

You groaned, tossing a throw pillow off your bed. โ€œWell, not all of us can soak up some West Coast rays while also being a nipple whisperer. Guess youโ€™re just built different.โ€ย 

โ€œI regret telling you anything about that case.โ€ย 

You smirked as The Bachelor theme started playing faintly from your TV. You both fell quiet for a beat, comfortable. It had become your ritual โ€“ย playing the show in the background, pretending to care about the drama, when really, it was just an excuse to sit in each otherโ€™s orbit for a while.ย 

Midway through the episode, Jack stood up and walked off-screen and came back holding something. You squinted.

โ€œIs thatโ€ฆ a bobblehead? Of an avocadoโ€ฆ surfing?โ€ย 

Jack held it up proudly toward the camera like it was fine art. โ€œPicked it up at a roadside stand. Guy said it was hand-painted by his seven-year-old niece.โ€ย 

โ€œItโ€™s so ugly,โ€ you commented, grinning anyway. โ€œI love it!โ€

He just laughed, setting it on the table behind him so its little bobblehead eyes stared into your soul for the rest of the call. And, his heart grew every time he caught you staring at it.

Later, you rolled onto your side, shifting your phone as you got more comfortable. The new angle mustโ€™ve shown more of the room, because Jack leaned in, eyes narrowing.

โ€œYou changed the bedroom.โ€

You panned the camera, shaking your head. โ€œJust been sleeping on your side lately,โ€ you admitted through flushed cheeks, before cutting him off when he smirked and parted his lips to speak. โ€œDonโ€™t! Donโ€™t ask me why. Just helps me sleep better.โ€ย 

He didnโ€™t make a joke. Just stared at you with that soft, unreadable look that always made your chest feel like it was going to burst open.

โ€œI missed this view,โ€ he said gently. His voice was low, almost reverent. โ€œThat room. That bed. You in it.โ€

You fiddled with the comforter. โ€œIt misses you. The vibeโ€™s been different, though. Less broody. No angry sighs every time the neighborโ€™s dog barks.โ€ย 

โ€œThat dog is a demon,โ€ Jack said, on instinct.

โ€œYouโ€™re just grumpy when youโ€™re tired,โ€ you teased.

โ€œAnd youโ€™re grumpy when Iโ€™m not there for you to stick those frozen toes under my legs to warm them up.โ€ย 

You opened your mouth to retort, paused, then nodded. โ€œOkay, thatโ€™s true.โ€ย 

Jack laughed.

The show was long forgotten now. All that mattered was the glow of your screens, the way his eyes didnโ€™t leave yours, the way his voice softened like it always did when the night got quieter.

โ€œWhat do you miss the most?โ€ he asked, almost shy.

You hesitated, then said, โ€œI miss you hogging the blanket.โ€ That made Jack laugh, but you shook your head, insisting, โ€œIโ€™m serious. In like a stockholm syndrome-y way โ€“ย I miss that. And other stuff, like you leaving all the lights on or waking me up at the stupid hours of dawn when you get back from a shiftโ€ฆ The little stuff.โ€ย 

Jack nodded, smiling in that slow, aching way. โ€œYou know what I miss?โ€ย 

โ€œWhat?โ€ย 

โ€œSitting at the island, watching you test out new recipes โ€“ย make a mess of the kitchen like youโ€™re on some Food Network competition.โ€ย ย 

You smiled, fond and aching. โ€œThatโ€™s the only way I cook.โ€ย 

โ€œI know,โ€ he said. โ€œI miss it. Miss you.โ€ย 

You let that settle between you. Let it warm you all the way through.

ย โ€œIn six days, Iโ€™m gonna be stuck to you like velcro,โ€ you murmured.

He quirked a brow. โ€œIs that so?โ€ย 

You nodded. โ€œAnd youโ€™re not allowed to leave again, by the way. And if you do, youโ€™re taking me in your go-bag.โ€ You lifted your pinky finger toward the camera. โ€œPromise.โ€ย 

Without hesitation, Jack raised his pinky to match yours. โ€œPromise, baby.โ€ย 

And for a moment, across the glow of two tiny screens, it almost felt like he was already home.

On The Line

โ€œAre you here yet?โ€ you asked the second you picked up the FaceTime, barely able to contain the grin stretching across your face. The sounds of the kitchen clattered behind you, but your focus remained on the screen. On him.

Today was the day Jack was coming home and you were giddy with anticipation.ย 

โ€œI am,โ€ he replied, voice smooth, teasing, โ€œbut where are you?โ€

You groaned, โ€œA last-minute catering order came in, so I had to stay late. Almost just brought the chefโ€™s knife with me to work in the car and just sprint to Arrivals.โ€

Jack smirked, familiar and smug. โ€œI donโ€™t know how TSA wouldโ€™ve taken that.โ€ย 

โ€œBut, I sent a good backup, huh?โ€ย 

Jack shifted the camera to the driverโ€™s seat, where Robby sat, looking amused as he drove. โ€œYouโ€™re lucky Iโ€™m easily bribable with food,โ€ he said. โ€œPicking him up on my day off was not part of the plan.โ€ย 

โ€œYeah, but youโ€™d do it for the filet mignon these magic hands can make, right?โ€ You wiggled your fingers at the screen, and Jack snorted.

โ€œOh, any day of the week,โ€ Robby agreed, his grin cracking wider.

Jack turned the camera back to himself. He looked tired from the long travel day, but the way he looked at youโ€”like heโ€™d been waiting all day, or rather, six weeks, to see your faceโ€”made your chest ache.

You drank him in. Stubble. Black tee. Soft warmth creeping onto his features as he looked at you.ย 

โ€œHow was your flight?โ€ you asked.

โ€œYouโ€™re lucky I like you,โ€ he replied, rubbing his jaw. โ€œI just spent six hours sitting in front of a guy who kept stabbing at the screen like it wronged him personally. Kept me up the whole flight.โ€

From off-screen, Robby piped up, โ€œIs that why you fell asleep on my shoulder in the first five minutes of the drive?โ€ย 

โ€œAww, is that true?โ€ you cooed, and Jack immediately frowned, shaking his head. โ€œLiar,โ€ you accused with a knowing smile, before asking, โ€œAre you close?โ€

โ€œTo your place?โ€ You nodded. โ€œI was gonna head home first, shower, sleep for a bit โ€“ย โ€

You were already shaking your head, correcting him, โ€œNo. Youโ€™re coming here first; not allowed to shower before you see me.โ€

Robby snorted, and Jack sighed in that over-it-but-not-really way before turning to his friend. โ€œCan you drop me off at hers?โ€ย 

โ€œKinda already assumed,โ€ Robby said, tapping the GPS. โ€œRouteโ€™s set to her address.โ€

โ€œHow much longer?โ€ you asked Robby, bouncing on your heels with impatient energy.

โ€œTwenty-three minutes.โ€

You groaned, tugging off your apron. The clock on the wall ticked slowly, teasingly. โ€œCan you be here already?โ€ you whined at Jack, then paused as a mischievous glint sparked behind your eyes. โ€œIโ€™m ovulating and miss you being in my โ€“ โ€

โ€œOhhhkay,โ€ Robby cut in, clearly scarred and making your grin widen. Jackโ€™s mouth twitched.

โ€œI was going to say โ€˜arms.โ€™ Sheesh, Jack, what kind of freaks do you work with?โ€ you teased, grin widening as Jack broke into a full smile and aimed the camera at Robby, who groaned in defeat.ย 

โ€œYouโ€™re gonna get me kicked out of this car, trouble,โ€ Jack said, warmth bleeding into his voice at the nickname. Your chest squeezed, missing him.

Eleni walked into the office a moment later, waving at the screen. โ€œHey, Eleni,โ€ Jack greeted.

โ€œHey,โ€ she said, squinting. โ€œWas that groaning I heard just now? You guys doing phone sex again or just emotionally scarring Robby?โ€ย 

โ€œFor the record, those things are not mutually exclusive,โ€ Robby chimed in.

Eleni grinned, turning to you. โ€œYou heading out now?โ€ย 

You nodded. โ€œUnless thereโ€™s something else โ€“ย โ€

She was already shaking her head. โ€œGo. Get out of here. Youโ€™ve already cleaned the walk-in twice just waiting for Jack to land.โ€ย 

Jack perked up at that. โ€œAww, is that true?โ€ he mocked, using your tone from earlier.

You glared at him, but before you could deny it, Eleni added, โ€œShe reorganized the grain bins, too!โ€

You were already grabbing your keys as Eleni ushered you toward the door. โ€œOkay, Iโ€™ll see you when you get here,โ€ you said to Jack.ย 

In a rare moment of vulnerability, he puckered his lips and blew you a kiss goodbye. You flushed, heart stuttering.ย 

โ€œYouโ€™re getting soft on me, Abbot,โ€ you teased.

โ€œPretty sure weโ€™re way past that.โ€

The drive home was a blur; you could barely keep your concentration. Every red light felt like the universe was plotting against you; every slow pedestrian crossing the street made you want to scream.ย 

Your heart was hammering in your ears. You didnโ€™t even remember pulling into the driveway, adrenaline surging. But the moment you caught sight of the front door โ€“ย 

There he was.

Jack.

Standing at your front door in that familiar black tee, suitcase sitting on the porch as he fumbled with the spare key youโ€™d given him. He was so focused on unlocking the door, he didnโ€™t even hear your footsteps approaching.

โ€œYou know, for someone who saves lives for a living,โ€ you called out, approaching him, โ€œyouโ€™re really struggling with the concept of a lock.โ€ย 

Jack froze, then turned.

And then, a slow-spreading, lopsided smile that had lived on your phone screen for far too long was finally gracing you in person.ย 

โ€œWell, maybe if someone didnโ€™t have ten million locks on the door, we wouldnโ€™t be in this situation,โ€ he said, voice lower than usual, rougher in a way that made your stomach flip.

You crossed the distance in three strides. The key clattered onto his luggage as he let it fall.

And then you were in his arms.ย 

Not the thought of him. Not his voice through a screen. Not his pixelated smile or sleepy texts or pictures of his takeout. Him. Warm and solid and real.

His arms wrapped so tightly around you, it felt like he wouldnโ€™t ever let go. And you didnโ€™t want him to. You buried your face in his chest, breathing him in.ย 

โ€œI forgot how good you smell,โ€ you mumbled into his shirt. โ€œLike middle seat and recycled plane air.โ€ย 

He tugged playfully at your ear, leaning back just enough for you to get a good look at him. Sun-kissed skin. Slight scruff that made your fingertips itch to trace it.

โ€œYou got more handsome. Thatโ€™s annoying.โ€ย 

He raised a brow. โ€œYouโ€™re only saying that because youโ€™re ovulating.โ€ย 

โ€œNo,โ€ you promised. โ€œIf I did, I wouldโ€™ve already dragged you inside and ripped your clothes off โ€“ โ€

He kissed you mid-sentence. Not hurried. Not desperate. Justโ€ฆ steady. Like he had all the time in the world, because now, he did.

When you finally pulled back, breath short, he rested his forehead against yours. โ€œMissed you,โ€ you said softly.

โ€œYeah,โ€ he whispered, almost like it hurt. โ€œMe too.โ€ย 

You leaned into him again, arms tightening, greedy now that you finally could be. โ€œYouโ€™re never leaving again, right?โ€ย 

He chuckled, voice cracking just a little. โ€œYou going to chain me to the radiator?โ€ย 

You shrugged. โ€œTempting. I do own zip ties.โ€ย 

His laugh was full, unguarded, the sound of it seeping into your skin like sunlight. โ€œWhy donโ€™t we save those for the bedroom, huh?โ€ย 

He leaned down again to kiss your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. And then he whispered, โ€œLetโ€™s go inside.โ€ย 

But neither of you moved. Not yet.

Youโ€™d waited this long.

What was one more minute in each otherโ€™s arms?

876 notes View Post
m14mags
7 months ago

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story Masterlist (Reader Insert Version)

MAIN MASTERLIST

MARVEL MASTERLIST

LEGACY: A Tony Stark Daughter Story Masterlist (Reader Insert Version)

LEGACY was my first published fanfic on here. It was based off a dream I had and I finally had the courage to write it down. I wrote it as an original character based on me, not really knowing about reader inserts yet. A while ago, I went back to it and began editing it into a reader insert and I think it's time that I share it. The OG LEGACY will remain on my Tumblr where it belongs, so apologies for any confusion that may happen.

As is my style, this story will cover several movies and contain three endings.

I hope that people enjoy it; comments, likes, reblogs, and/or asks are always welcome.

โ€œThis will all sound cheesy, but I figure that if youโ€™re reading this then you should already be prepared. This is the story of my family. Of our love, our losses, our sacrifices. Of how we fought to stay together, fought to survive. This is the story of Y/N Stark and the Avengers. This is my story.โ€

PROLOGUE 1 / PROLOGUE 2

AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON

ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR / FIVE / SIX / SEVEN / EIGHT / NINE / TEN / ELEVEN

BOUND TO BE BROKEN

TWELVE / THIRTEEN / FOURTEEN / FIFTEEN / SIXTEEN / SEVENTEEN / EIGHTEEN / NINETEEN / MORE TO COME...

CAPTAIN AMERICA CIVIL WAR

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

CAPTAIN MARVEL

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

AVENGERS ENDGAME

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

CHOOSE AN ENDING

CHAPTERS COMING SOON

341 notes View Post
m14mags
3 weeks ago

Patchwork

Jack Abbott x F!Reader

[Plus Size!Reader friendly] [POC!Reader friendly]

Warnings: blood, injuries, vague (likely incorrect) medical talk, car crash, pining, Jack being self deprecating, whump, hurt comfort, a smidge of angst, fluff, uh I think thatโ€™s it? (Let me know if I missed any)

Word Count: 6k

Summary: Reader runs a small coffee shop a few blocks down from PTMC, after closing she brings any leftover pastries to the ED for the workers there.

Masterlist

"Are you sure you're fine finishing up here on your own?" Sadie's soft voice called out to you as she finished emptying the dustpan into the trashcan. "I really don't mind staying if you need me to."

The soft clicking of the pastry case sounded before you spoke, "Yep! All that's left to do is get these pastries packed up to drop off at the hospital and clean out the case." You reached forward into the glass case and began grabbing the various baked goods with your gloved hands, "and I'm more than capable of handling a few dozen danishes and scones on my own." Each sugar-dusted pastry you pulled from the case was carefully set inside a cardboard box resting on the counter to your right.

Sadie nodded and tied the trash bag up before hoisting it up behind her on her broad shoulders. "Alrighty! Well, I will see you Monday morning then!" She smiled at you and started walking toward the back of the cafรฉ. "I'll drop this off out back and then head outโ€”be safe walking home."

You smiled and nodded while placing the last of the cheese danishes into the box. "You too! G'night, Sadie!" You gently folded the lid of the box over itself and secured it, making sure it wouldn't pop open as you placed it inside the wheeled bag sitting on the floor.

Turning on your heel you walked to the counter along the back wall which was lined with various espresso machines and cups, a small cardboard box with a smiley face sticker on the lid sitting in front of them. Inside the box sat an half dozen apple turnovers you had made especially to bring with you to the hospital for a certain someone.

For the last five years you had managed to follow your dreams and open up a small coffee shop in your hometown of Pittsburgh. Youโ€™d saved for most of your working life in order to be able to afford a small spot down townโ€”the spot in question having been a major fixer upper which was the only reason you had been able to afford it. So for months, you worked tirelessly along with your parents and a few friends until you were able to open up Street Brews. The first year was slow, but after a particularly good review on a local food blog, business had picked up and you had been able to hire a handful of employees.

For the last six months at the end of most days after closing, you packed up any leftover baked goods that hadnโ€™t been bought and took them to the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center and gave them to the ED workers. The idea had come to you after a mass shooting took place at a music festival, while you hadnโ€™t been there yourself you knew several people who had and saw the effect it had on the community. So, as a thank you to the doctors and nurses who had saved so many lives that day, you and your two employees who had been working that day closed the shop early and packed up all the food you had to take to the hospital.

Ever since then this had become a kind of routine for you, a few days out of the week whenever you were working until closing, you would pack up leftover food and take it with you to the Emergency Department. On days when you werenโ€™t there for closing and were there for the opening shift, you would take coffee to drop off on your way home since the hospital was on your route.

Over the months you had gotten to know a lot of the people who worked in the ED, forming friendships with many of them outside of the walls of the hospital. You learned what some of the doctors liked and disliked and sometimes made sure to bring them any pastries you knew they preferred, a certain doctor had an affinity for the apple turnovers you had brought in a handful of times.

The doctor in question was Jack Abbott, one of the attending physicians who typically worked the night shift in the ED. He intrigued you from the moment you met him, the stoic face and friendly demeanor earning your interest and drawing you back to the hospital night after night with offerings of pastries in hand. Whenever you stopped by to drop off food, you found yourself scanning the brightly lit department looking for the head of tousled salt and pepper curls that belonged to the handsome man.

You wanted nothing more than to get to know him, learn what made him tick.

You would be lying to everyone, yourself included if you said you didnโ€™t have a bit of a crush on the doctor.

Which is why you had made sure to make extra apple turnovers that morning in order to have some to bring in for him when you planned on making a bold move and asking him out to dinner or a cup of coffee sometime.

โ€œGood luck with doctor hottie tonight boss!โ€ Sadie pulled you back to the present and away from your thoughts of said doctor hottie, you waved goodbye to your friend and ignoring the knowing grin she aimed your way as she headed out the front door.

The bell above the door rang as it swung open and closed, the familiar sound ringing in your ears as you placed both of the boxes of pastries into wheeled bag ensuring they were safely tucked inside the carrier for the trip down the street.

The sound of the zipper echoed in the quiet space.

There was a dull ache in your back just behind your shoulders as you stood and grabbed your heavy patchwork cardigan, quickly throwing it over your shoulders. You knew it was from your terrible posture as you worked the register all day, no matter how many times you told yourself you wouldnโ€™t slouch or hunch your back, you still found your shoulders slumping and your neck craning whenever you worked the register.

Now alone in the shop, you hurried to pull all of the trays out of the pastry case and get them washed so they could be loaded up with fresh baked goods when the opening shift came in. Soon enough you were finished and ready to head out, so you switched all of the lights off and pulled up the handle on your wheeled bag while swinging your purse onto your shoulder. The only light in the shop came from the setting sun which flowed in through the front window, it cast an orange glow on the floor in front of you as you pulled open the front door and the bell chimed.

The wheels of the bag rumbled against the cracked sidewalk as you began making your way in the direction of the hospital and your apartment.

Even though it was rather late in the evening, there was still plenty of traffic, the buzzing of traffic and honking of horns being a background noise you found comfort in as you walked. In the distance you could hear sirens, either from ambulances, police, or fire trucks you werenโ€™t quite sure.

Up ahead was a cross walk where you would normally cross, the sign hanging on the opposite side of the street showing a red hand which signaled it wasnโ€™t yet your turn to cross, so you came to a slow stop at the edge of the sidewalk and pulled your phone out of your pocket. You scrolled through social media as you waited for the ding which would signal for you to cross the street, absentmindedly liking and reposting pictures as you came across them and smiling to yourself at some.

A rhythmic chime sounded from the sign across the street, alerting you that it was now safe to cross, so without looking you stepped off the sidewalk and began moving across the street with your eyes still on your phone screen.

That had been your mistake.

With your attention on the device in your hand, you didnโ€™t notice the car that ran a red light and was speeding down the road until it was far too late.

โฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโฆโงโฆ

โ€œYouโ€™re here early, again.โ€ Dana piped up from the nurses station in the middle of the room as Jack strolled into the ED with his bag slung over his shoulder, โ€œthatโ€™s what? The third time this week?โ€

Jack glanced over toward the charge nurse who was giving him a knowing grin as he passed by.

โ€œI have no idea what youโ€™re talking about Dana.โ€

He knew exactly what she was talking about.

โ€œWhatever you say Doc.โ€

Jack ignored her and continued his journey to the back of the ED where the lockers sat. He scanned the rooms as he passed looking to get any kind of read on how busy the shift would be. Once he reached the lockers he blindly put in the code, his body working on auto pilot as he put his things inside the small space. He swung his stethoscope around his neck letting it hang loose over his chest and blew out a long breath making his cheeks puff up.

Absentmindedly his eyes went to the watch around his left wrist, checking for the time.

It was nearly seven.

Against his will, the first thought that came to mind upon seeing the time, was the small coffee shop three blocks down that closed at six.

He wondered if you would be coming by today or not.

A small part of him hoped you were.

With a heavy sigh, jacks hand went up to grip the sides of his stethoscope and let his arms hang down as he walked back out into the Pitt to begin the night.

โ€œAbbott! Weโ€™ve got a MVC coming in!โ€ Dana called to him from in front of the ambulance bay doors, โ€œone minute out!โ€

Jack closed his eyes and allowed himself a second of preparation but was pulled out of his mind by a pat on the arm.

โ€œNo rest for the wicked brother.โ€ Robby shot him a tight smile and hurried off toward the automatic doors to wait on the incoming trauma.

Jack fell into step behind Robby and within a few seconds was pulling on a gown and gloves.

โ€œWhat do we know?โ€ He asked no one in particular while stepping to tie the back of Robbyโ€™s gown.

โ€œFemale, age unknown, struck while crossing the street by a car running a red light. Bystander called 911, said she was conscious but was unresponsive by the time responders arrived on scene.โ€ Someone began relaying the information they had received from dispatch as Robby moved to tie Jackโ€™s gown in the back.

โ€œAre you sure you wanna stick around for this one?โ€ Jack asked his friend, โ€œYour shiftโ€™s nearly over.โ€

Robby shrugged and stared off in the direction of the ambulance sirens that were quickly approaching, โ€œNot like I have anything else to do, so whatโ€™s one more patient?โ€

The flashing lights could be seen bouncing off of the buildings as the ambulance came into view.

Jack immediately started mentally cataloging all of the possible injuries that could be heading their way; head trauma, spinal injury, broken bones, internal bleeding, the list was long but he was prepared for nearly anything.

Nearly.

The one thing he was not prepared for was who would be on the gurney that was pulled out of the back of the ambulance.

The second the doors opened the EMTs were calling out vitals while moving to pull the gurney out, the doctors moving to begin assessing the patient.

All accept for Jack who stood frozen staring at the familiar patchwork cardigan he had been waiting to see since he arrived. Not like this though, not torn and covered in blood from the deep laceration on your head.

Five seconds.

That was all the time Jack allowed himself to freeze before jumping into action and moving to hurry inside along with the gurney, falling back on his training.

โฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโฆโงโฆ

โ€œBP dropping!โ€

Doctors moved in perfect sync with one another, circling the gurney holding the motionless body of the woman Jack had been quietly yearning for. Some sick voice in the back of his head told him that this was the result of that small hint of attachment he had allowed himself to harbor for the kind woman. To him, it was the universes way of getting back at him for daring to think someone like himโ€”someone with so many demons in his head and oceans of blood on his hands that would never wash cleanโ€”could ever deserve someone as sweet and caring as her.

His mind was shut off as he worked, his hands and body working entirely on instinct and training as they worked desperately to stabilize you alongside Robby and some of the med students.

He forced himself to send his mind elsewhere, to think of anything but the way you looked lying lifeless in that bed. The first thing he thought of was the moment he realized that he had allowed you to work your way into his heart.

It was a weekend, far later than any of your other visits to drop off baked goods to the Pitt, that was what piqued Jackโ€™s interest.

He had been standing outside in the ambulance bay, getting some air after a tough loss. He wasnโ€™t sure what had made him walk out there instead of to the roof, but looking back on it he was thankful for whatever it was. While he was standing outside staring up at the dark and starless sky watching his breath float up into the air, he had been so in his head at that moment that he hadnโ€™t even heard you walking up behind him until you spoke.

โ€œDr Abbott!โ€

The voice pulled his eyes off of the sky and toward it, locking eyes with its owner.

Jack greeted you and put on a smile, shoving his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants, โ€œIs everything alright? Youโ€™re here awfully late.โ€ He quickly scanned your tired looking form for any injuries that could have brought you here at such a late hour.

His eyes lingered on that same chunky patchwork sweater you always wore before dropping to the small wheeled cart you pulled behind you.

You shook your head and moved a hand to rub along the back of your neck, โ€œOh, donโ€™t worry nothings wrong!โ€ You quickly assfumbling slightly over your words as you came to a stop in front of him, โ€œI was testing out some new pastry recipes for the shop and needed some taste testers.โ€

The wheels of your cart rumbled against the smooth pavement as you pulled it between the two of you and reached for the zipper.

โ€œI didnโ€™t realize I was at the shop so late until I was done, so I figured Iโ€™d stop by and drop these off on my way home.โ€ Inside the cart sat three boxes, each of which contained a different pastry that you had baked, โ€œThereโ€™s apple turnovers, some toasted almond croissants, and brown butter chocolate chip cookies!โ€ You stood and held out the boxes to Jack.

โ€œApple turnovers huh?โ€ Jackโ€™s lips turned up as he accepted the boxes from you, โ€œhowโ€™d you know I love apples?โ€

Your eyes went wide, โ€œI didnโ€™t! I had no idea actually.โ€ You looked anywhere but at him, โ€œI swear I didnโ€™t know that, the recipe was just in a book I got from my grandmother and I had really been wanting to try them out and I-โ€œ

โ€œTake a breath.โ€ Jack cut you off with a quiet chuckle, your frantic rambling dying on your tongue at the sound, โ€œIโ€™m only teasing. I do love apples though.โ€

Finally your eyes went to him, still avoiding his gaze as you watched him lift the lid of the box labeled โ€˜Appleโ€™ with a smiley face scribbled next to it.

โ€œWell, uh let me know what you think of those then! Iโ€™m hoping to add some of those to the menu I just need some feedback.โ€ Your smile returned as you briefly met his eyes and then moved to zip the top of the bag back up, โ€œI really need to get going though.โ€

Jackโ€™s eyes shot back up, โ€œYou sure you donโ€™t wanna come in and say hi to everyone? Iโ€™m sure theyโ€™d love to thank you for the treats.โ€ He balanced the boxes in one hand while pointing over his shoulder toward the door with a thumb.

You quickly shook your head, โ€œIโ€™ve got a little boy whoโ€™s home alone and probably driving my neighbors insane since Iโ€™m late for his dinner.โ€

Jackโ€™s eyebrows shot up as he opened his mouth to speak only to be immediately cut off by you yelling.

โ€œHeโ€™s a cat! Oh my word heโ€™s a cat!โ€ Jack could practically see you panicking over your choice of words, he did his best to bite back a laugh, โ€œI swear I do not have a human child at home not being fed oh my word.โ€ You ran your palms over your face and groaned, โ€œIโ€™m not starving my cat either! Heโ€™s got a timer feeder, he just refuses to eat unless someone watches him. Gosh I could not have worded that any worse.โ€

A loud laugh broke you out of your embarrassed rambling.

You stared wide eyed at the usually stoic man in front of you, you had never seen him laugh like he currently was, it made you smile.

โ€œI uh-โ€œ You started, โ€œare you okay, Dr Abbott?โ€

Jack was nearly doubling over from how hard he was laughing, his eyes squeezed shut which made his crowd feet stand out more.

You couldnโ€™t take your eyes off of them.

Off of him.

โ€œThat-โ€œ Jack started, his laughter dying down, โ€œI havenโ€™t had a laugh like that in a long time.โ€ With one final shake of his chest from a breathy chuckle he straightened his posture and looked over at you, โ€œI needed that.โ€

You shoved your hands into the pockets of your cardigan, โ€œand *I* havenโ€™t been that embarrassed in a long time.โ€ You cringed, once again pulling your eyes away from his intense gaze.

The air between the two of you felt lighter, less loaded.

โ€œYou had better get home to that little boy.โ€ He fixed his hold on the boxes in his arms, โ€œIโ€™m sure he misses his mamma.โ€

The bottom of your cardigan stretched down as you pushed your hands further into the pockets, โ€œHe most definitely does.โ€ You pulled a hand out of your pocket and grabbed hold of the handle on the cart, โ€œAgain I am so sorry about my horrible, horrible wording there, Dr Abbott.โ€

โ€œJust Jack, please. Dr Abbott makes me feel like you're one of my patients.โ€ He shifted on his feet, suddenly feeling awkward in front of you, โ€œDonโ€™t take this the wrong way, but I hope youโ€™re never one of my patients.โ€

โ€œMe neither.โ€

Jack smiled a genuine smile at you, his eyes softening, โ€œBe careful walking home alright?โ€

โ€œI will, and make sure to let me know what you think of those turnovers yeah?โ€

โ€œYes maโ€™am.โ€

You hurried off down the side walk, teeth clamping down on the insides of your cheeks to stop the smile that was forming on your face as heat rose to the tips of your ears.

The next visit you made to the hospital bearing gifts, Jack was sure to tell you that he loved the apple turnovers.

They were added to the menu the next week.

โฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโฆโงโฆ

โ€œShe has a cat, make sure someone gets ahold of her emergency contact so they can go take care of him.โ€ Jack muttered aloud as he watched the gurney holding your barely stable body was wheeled off toward the elevator, there was an OR ready and waiting for your arrival.

โ€œYou okay?โ€

Jack ignored Robbyโ€™s question and ripped his gown and gloves off, stepping over the smeared puddle of crimson on the white tiled floor. He chucked the bloodied objects into the bin and began moving toward the open glass doors of the trauma room.

โ€œIโ€™ll call them myself.โ€ He didn't know who he was telling, Robby or himself.

โ€œAbbott.โ€ Robby spoke a bit louder this time, his footsteps following behind his colleague, โ€œJack!โ€

The only thing that halted Jackโ€™s march to the nurses station was Robbyโ€™s hand clamping down on his arm to force him to stop.

โ€œAre you alright?โ€

โ€œWhy wouldnโ€™t I be?โ€

โ€œAside from the obvious?โ€ Robby folded his arms over his chest and leaned back on his heels, โ€œYour jaw has been clenched so hard for the last thirty minutes Iโ€™m surprised you havenโ€™t cracked any teeth yet,โ€

Jack avoided Robbyโ€™s eyes, his gaze instead falling on the blood covering the floor in trauma one, โ€œI donโ€™t know what youโ€™re talking about.โ€

โ€œThen you shouldnโ€™t have a problem being pulled off her case.โ€

Jackโ€™s eyes snapped to Robbyโ€™s, โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œYouโ€™re too close to this, too close to her. You know the rules.โ€ Robbyโ€™s eyes softened, โ€œYou care for her, I know, and thereโ€™s nothing wrong with that but I canโ€™t have you working on her with that in mind.โ€

Jack wanted to protest, to tell Robby that he was wrong and he had no idea what he was talking about.

But that would be a lie.

And they both knew it.

He cursed and turned away from Robby, one hand going up to rake through his hair.

โ€œYouโ€™ve been coming in early for nearly every shift in the last three months, you come in to see her. Iโ€™ve seen how your mood changes when she comes in to drop off food,โ€ Robby continued even as Jack walked away from him, โ€œhell, I never see you in a better mood than when sheโ€™s been by. And I know itโ€™s not because of any pastries.โ€

Jack stopped, hands balling into fists at his sides.

โ€œLet me know when sheโ€™s out of surgery. Please.โ€ His last word was quieter, barely a whisper.

He walked away.

โ€œSheโ€™s in good hands, you know that.โ€

Jack stayed silent as he walked toward the nurses station.

โ€œTake a break after you call.โ€ Robby called after him, Jackโ€™s only response was a thumbs up over his shoulder.

He already craved the cool wind on the roof.

โฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโงโฆโฆโงโฆ

Everything hurt.

So much.

You couldnโ€™t breathe.

You felt like you were being choked.

It felt like it took every muscle in your body just to muster up enough strength to open your eyes. Even barely cracking them open you couldnโ€™t stand the dim lights that were shining down on you. You coughed, the sound garbled and strained as you began choking on something and hyperventilating.

There was an odd sound, like metal scraping against the floor, followed by a loud curse and then you felt hands on you.

Your eyes shot open all the way, panic beginning to take hold of your mind and body.

You only squinted for a second before locking eyes with the person standing beside you. A familiar head of salt and pepper curls, and brown eyes that were bouncing from your face to something off to the side.

There was a tube down your throat.

โ€œHey hey hey-โ€œ Jack spoke slowly and calmly, his voice not quite matching the emotions reflected in his eyes as he spoke your name, โ€œjust take a slow breath for me, in through your nose. Can you do that?โ€

Pain bloomed throughout your chest and down your arm, you barely even noticed that your right arm was restrained by a sling through the panic and blinding pain you felt.

Jackโ€™s hands went up to your shoulders, the one on your right side barely even touching you as he gently pushed you back down onto the pillows, โ€œYouโ€™ve got a tube in your throat thatโ€™s been helping you breathe,โ€ he leaned over you and made eye contact, โ€œI know itโ€™s scary and it doesnโ€™t feel good but you need to calm down alright? Can you do that for me?โ€

Your breathing was rapid and you felt like your whole body was shaking.

Your eyes bounced around the dimly lit room, the white walls and fluorescent lighting bleeding in through the glass door. You were in the ED.

โ€œYouโ€™re in the hospital, you were in an accident.โ€ Jack leaned his head to the side to put himself in your line of sight, eyes locked on yours, โ€œtake another deep breath for me, Robby is on his way in and weโ€™ll get this tube out.โ€

One of his hands moved, his thumb brushing across your cheek to gently wipe away something wet.

Were you crying?

There was a rapid beeping coming from something behind you, it was so loud.

โ€œThere we go, heart rateโ€™s coming down, good job.โ€

You focused on the man in front of you as you tried your best to calm down, to push down the fear that was rushing through you.

The door to the room slid open and two people walked in, Robby and Perlah.

โ€œLook whoโ€™s awake.โ€ Robby said with a smile.

Jack spoke up and you squeezed your eyes shut, focusing in on the beeping that was gradually slowing down. It was your monitor, the rapid beeping was your heart rate, you were panicking thus your heart rate was through the roof and the monitor was alerting the doctors of that.

Dr Robby stepped into your view while Jack leaned out of it and away from the bed, you stopped him from moving away completely by shooting your hand out and grabbing onto his arm. He said nothing and moved back, slipping his hand into yours and squeezing it tight.

Perlah turned the lights up, you knew it was so th

Your head was pounding.

Robby said your name, pulling your attention toward him, โ€œCan you hear me alright?โ€ You nodded slowly, cringing at the feeling of the tube moving in your throat as you moved, โ€œOkay thatโ€™s good. Now I see youโ€™ve got a good strong grip on Dr Abbottโ€™s hand there and thatโ€™s good, thatโ€™s exactly what we wanna see.โ€ You were in too much pain to care that you were clinging desperately to his hand to ground yourself, โ€œNow, can you follow my finger here with your eyes?โ€

Another nod, another cringe.

Robby held up his pointer finger and began moving it around in your line of sight

โ€œOkay now just bear with me while I bring in a bright light so I can check your pupils, Iโ€™ll be quick.โ€

Robby stuck to his word and was as quick as he could be with the bright light, it still made you wince though. Robby nodded and said something to Perlah but you didn't quite catch what it was.

โ€œWhat do you say we get this tube out of your throat?โ€ Robby asked, pulling on a pair of gloves.

You looked over at him and nodded quickly, wincing at the harsh movement.

Jack stood and moved to begin helping Robby with the extubation but stopped short, you noticed a Robby give him a pointed glare.

โ€œJust sit with her Jack, keep her calm while we do this.โ€ You were thankful for Robbyโ€™s words, holding his hand was indeed helping you calm down.

Jack looked down at you and sat back in the chair pulled up beside your bed. You squeezed his hand again, this time involuntarily as you watched Robby and Perlah move around the bed.

โ€œAre you in any pain?โ€ Jack asked you, his thumb gently moving along the back of your hand.

You nodded quickly.

Jack nodded to Perlah who was already moving toward you to push pain meds through your IV.

Robby explained the process to you slowly, telling you each thing that would happen; they would lean the bed up a bit which might be a little uncomfortable, then make sure your air way was clear before having you take a deep breath so they could remove the tube when you exhaled.

โ€œFeel free to squeeze Abbottโ€™s hand as hard as you need to, heโ€™s a tough boy he can take it.โ€ Robby joked.

While you appreciated the attempt at lightening the mood, you didnโ€™t laugh.

Even though Robby was only joking, you still squeezed Jackโ€™s hand with what little strength you could muster as they pulled the tube from your throat. The second it was out you started coughing, the pain in your arm and chest flaring up as you leaned forward and coughed again, the rush of cool air into your dry mouth feeling nauseating and amazing all at once.

Jack moved away from the bed leaving your hand cold and clenching in on itself as you coughed and your breathing slowly evened out. Robby placed an oxygen mask over your face and spoke something to the Perlah who then excused herself from the room, dimming the lights on her way out.

You watched her disappear out into the busy ED.

Jack appeared at your side again with a small plastic cup of water, popping a bendy straw into the liquid, โ€œThirsty?โ€ He questioned and looked down at you.

You nodded, โ€œYeah.โ€ Your voice was hoarse and strained, but it felt good to talk again.

Robby worked silently at the computer as Jack lifted the mask from your face and held the straw up to your mouth.

โ€œDrink it slowly alright? That way you donโ€™t choke.โ€

Another nod.

The feeling of the water going down your dry, sore throat was quite possibly the best feeling you could think of in that moment. Jack had to pull the cup away from you to stop you from gulping down the entire cup in one go, you didnโ€™t miss the slight upward twitch at the corner of his lips.

โ€œHowโ€™re you feeling?โ€ Jack set the cup on the small table that was pushed up against the wall.

You breathed in slowly, relishing in the feeling of not having a tube down your throat, โ€œWhat-what happened?โ€ You blinked and watched Jack carefully.

There was a silent conversation between the two doctors in the room before Robby excused himself.

Jack began speaking, โ€œYou were in an accident, from what we know a driver ran a red light and hit you while you in a crosswalk.โ€ Jack shifted in the chair as he leaned forward and cautiously grabbed your hand again, his calloused fingers fidgeting with your own, โ€œsomeone saw the whole thing and called 911, you were rushed here. You were unconscious when you arrived.โ€

It was only then that you fully realized the state of your body; your right arm was in a sling which was secured over your chest, you could feel a bandage on the side of your face and there was a horrible pain in your right hip that was only slightly dulled by the pain meds.

โ€œMy arm?โ€ You cleared your throat after speaking, glancing back up at Jack.

โ€œYou had a broken collarbone, and a fractured ulnaโ€”which is this bone here on the outside of your arm.โ€ He ran a finger along the outside of your good arm to show you which bone, โ€œclavicle was fixed with surgery and a plate and so was the arm. On top of that, youโ€™ve got a pretty sizable head lac, bruised kidney, bruised liver, some pretty bad blood loss from internal bleeding but thatโ€™s all under control now thanks to the surgical team. And your head should heal with minimal scarring thanks to plastics.โ€

You stared at him silently taking in all of the information, โ€œthatโ€™s a lot,โ€ you breathed, a sudden realization hitting you and causing you to move and start searching the bed, โ€œMy phone, I need my phone I need to call-โ€œ

โ€œHey, easy. Take it easy.โ€ Jack stood again and once again moved to get you to sit still, clearly afraid that you would hurt yourself or bust your sutures, โ€œYour emergency contact has been called and your phone and stuff are over here.โ€ He gestured to a white plastic bag sitting on the floor in the corner of the room, a blue cord leading to your phone charging it, โ€œYour little boy at home is being taken care of, donโ€™t worryโ€

Stilling and settling back against the bed you watched jack carefully as he sat back down, โ€œMy little boy?โ€

โ€œYour cat.โ€

Your lips turned up, โ€œYeah, I know.โ€

You laughed.

โ€œYouโ€™re laughing, which is a good sign.โ€ Jack smiled.

โ€œYou remembered my cat?โ€

He nodded, โ€œKinda hard to forget about the little boy after the conversation we had in the ambulance bay.โ€

You dropped your head back against the pillows and your hand came up to the bandage on the side of your head, โ€œIs that my sweater?โ€ Your eyes fell to the chair Jack was sitting, your sweater was folded over the side of the arm partially laying across his lap.

You could have swore you saw Jackโ€™s cheeks turn pink, โ€œUh yeah it is.โ€ He reached down and grabbed it before setting it on your lap, โ€œYouโ€™re always wearing it and I figured it has some kind of special meaning to you, so I did my best to fix it up.โ€ He turned the heavy knitted garment over to show the all but nonexistent blood stains and the rips that had been carefully stitched back up, โ€œIโ€™m no tailor, but I do know how to remove blood stains and stitch up a wound, besides I usually have a mending kit in my bag and I had a few too many free hours to kill todayโ€ฆโ€

With your good arm, you clutched the fabric right and ran your fingers over the stitches, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared down at it, โ€œDr Abbottโ€ฆโ€

โ€œJack.โ€

You laughed, a hearty light laugh that hurt way too much but you didnโ€™t care.

โ€œWhat? The idea of me sewing that funny?โ€

Shaking your head you pulled your lips between your teeth for a second before speaking, โ€œI was bringing you apple turnovers.โ€ You leaned your head back and up, staring at the ceiling tiles, โ€œI had a whole plan, rehearsed it with Sadie while we cleaned up after closing.โ€

โ€œRehearsed?โ€ He blinked.

โ€œI was going to ask if you wanted to get coffee sometime with an offering of apple turnovers.โ€

Jack froze, โ€œCoffee with me?โ€ The lines on his forehead deepened as his brows went up.

Another laugh from you, this time a nervous one, โ€œI know, itโ€™s stupid. Why would you wanna go out with me huh?โ€

โ€œHow โ€˜bout dinner?โ€

โ€œWhat?โ€

โ€œI mean after youโ€™re discharged of course, thereโ€™s a new Italian place that opened up a few blocks away that Iโ€™ve been dying to try.โ€

โ€œI guess I have something to look forward to when I get out of here huh?โ€

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m14mags
1 year ago

The Agent Rossi-Reid Anthology Masterlist

It's no secret that the BAU team is like a family, but for some agents that's more literal than others.

A collection of works about SSA (Y/N) Rossi-Reid because when you work with your husband and your father, there's bound to be some stories to tell.

Read the anthology insipiration here.

Anthology co-creator: @doctorsteeb

Join the tag list

---

Extras:

Guide to Italian

Chronological Written List

---

Introduction Works (Complete):

SSA Rossi-Reid: David Rossi raised, Gideon mentored you, Spencer fell in love with you. What could go wrong?

What Goes Up...: Some cases hit harder than others. This one hit hard enough that your mentor reached his breaking point.

...Must Come Down: Spencer comes back from Gideonโ€™s cabin with three things- a badge, a gun, and a letter you hoped youโ€™d never have to read.

It's Proposals, Dads, and Halloween, Rossi-Reid! (S3E6): When your dad comes out of retirement after a decade, you hope it's just a Halloween prank. Spoiler alert: it's not.

---

The Rossi-Reid:

All works are set post-S3E6

Original Works:

Figuring Out The Family Buisness: With Rossi on the team the dynamics and typical pairings are bound to change. The story of the first time Rossi was paired with Reid, Rossi was paired with Rossi-Reid, and the first time Rossi watched his daughter and his son-in-law get paired in the field.

Not Just a Rossi: When Spencer notices RR struggling with her father's return to work, he can't help but intervene... with help of course.

Episode Rewrites:

Damaged (S3E14): After twenty years, Rossi-Reid learns why her father stopped putting up the Christmas Tree.

---

Becoming Rossi-Reid (Prequel Works):

All works are set pre-S3E6

Original Works Pre Show (for the most part):

The First Week: There are lots of old friends and new feelings during (Y/N) Rossi's first week at the BAU.

Never Grow Up: The role Gideon played as Rossi-Reid grew up.

Where Did The Time Go?: Rossi (eventually -Reid) goes on her first case with the team.

How Do You Seal A Deal?: Spencer and RR go on their first date.

Episode Rewrites (S1E1-S3E5):

The Big Game and Revelations (S2E14-15): A fun night out with the team turns into a case, which turns into a disaster, which turns into Rossi-Reidโ€™s own personal Hell.

---

More Extras:

gill and doctorsteeb talk rossi reid

random rossi reid thoughts

incorrect rossi reid quotes

Blurbs:

Someday

Headcanons-ish:

Rossi-Reid Gets Hurt S1

Being Jack's Madrina (godmother)

Spencer and Rossi-Reid on Valentine's Day

Rossi-Reid Birthday Headcanons

Answered Asks:

Who is Rossi-Reid's Mother?

Rossi-Reid and Stephen Gideon

How long did Spencer and RR know one another before getting married?

Will there ever be little Rossi-Reids?

Hotch and RR Sibling Content:

Gill's Favorite Sibling Moments Between Hotch and RR (Part 1), (Part 2)

Spencer asking Hotch for advice with RR

494 notes View Post
m14mags
1 month ago

You Know Where You Are 1/3

You Know Where You Are 1/3

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x f!Musician!Reader Angst/Established Relationship Part II | Part III

The Pitt Playlist located here The Pitt Masterlist

Synopsis: Dr. Robby's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day started before he even made it to PTMC. He was supposed to go to Pittfest to support his girlfriend's band with Jake, but decided to flake and give his ticket to Jake's girlfriend. You are less than thrilled with his lack of communication. Word Count: 965 Content Warning: Arguing; Reader is in her 30's A/N: This will be a three-parter.

You Know Where You Are 1/3

โ€œWhy is an alarm going off?โ€ You grumbled into Robbyโ€™s warm chest as the jingle from his phone repeated itself. Robby groaned as he reached over to the nightstand to turn it off. He was silent for a few beats, his other hand coming up to rub your back gently. โ€œMikey?โ€

โ€œIโ€™m goinโ€™ in today.โ€ He mumbled into the crown of your head.ย 

โ€œYouโ€™re what?โ€ Sitting up in a hurry, you pushed yourself off him, but kept your eyes pinpointed on his. Michael was looking anywhere else in the room but at you. โ€œNo. No, Mike! You said you werenโ€™t going to do this.โ€

โ€œI know.โ€ He responded gently, his eyes breaking from yours.ย 

โ€œYou know.โ€ Scoffing, you started to get off the bed, but was stopped by his hand gently grabbing your thigh, squeezing it in a way that told you he did not want this to get blown into an argument. Not today. โ€œWhat about Jake? You canโ€™t just ditch him.โ€

โ€œGiving him my pass for his girlfriend. Theyโ€™ll have a blast and apparently sheโ€™s a huge fan of you guys.โ€ He tried to soften the blow. All it did was build the irritation that was growing inside of you.ย 

โ€œAnd me?โ€ Your question hung in the air.

โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€ย 

โ€œAbsolutely not.โ€ Gently prying his hand off your leg, you stood and threw on some random clothes he had in the second drawer that housed various t-shirts, jeans and leggings that youโ€™d left over time. โ€œGenuinely donโ€™t know what I was expecting.โ€ You muttered under your breath as you pulled a t-shirt over your head.ย ย 

โ€œWhatโ€™s that supposed to mean?โ€ He had the nerve to sound indignant.

โ€œIt means that I am a very reasonable person who rolls with the punches when it comes to you, but god forbid something on my end -pre planned well in advance, mind you- is important to me and it gets thrown by the wayside.โ€

โ€œToday is-โ€ You held up your hand to stop him.ย 

โ€œ-I know what today is.โ€ Your voice took on a somber tone. โ€œAnd I am so incredibly sorry that you have to carry this with you, Mike. I am. I love you and I support you wholeheartedly, but you obviously knew you were going to do this well before this morning and you chose not to tell me. A heads up is all that Iโ€™m asking for here.โ€

โ€œHad I known missing this set was going to be a huge deal-โ€

โ€œItโ€™s not about the set!โ€ Your voice rose. โ€œI donโ€™t care about the set, Mike! My life is set after set. I cared about spending time with you and Jake. The set is an hour out of my day. Both of us are stupidly busy people with demanding careers who donโ€™t get to see a whole lot of each other outside of some quick takeout and going to bed -if weโ€™re even in the same state!โ€ It wasnโ€™t meant to be a jab, but Robby felt it all the same.ย 

โ€œYouโ€™ve never had a problem with me having to cancel for work.โ€ His voice was starting to get an irritated tone to it, one that you knew he knew he was wrong, but was doubling down.ย 

โ€œThatโ€™s not what this is!โ€ You snapped, โ€œIโ€™m not mad because you get called in to work, Mike! You did this on purpose. They didnโ€™t call you in, you are choosing to go in on a day that you already arranged to have off for no other reason than you wonโ€™t communicate!โ€ He winced -you donโ€™t communicate was repeated like a broken record through just about every failed relationship he had. โ€œI donโ€™t understand how you donโ€™t see why Iโ€™m frustrated with this and, quite frankly, itโ€™s pissing me off even more than I was to begin with because I canโ€™t tell if you know what youโ€™re doing or if this is just a defensive reflex!โ€

Grabbing your phone off the nightstand on your side, you sighed when you saw how early it actually was. Deciding that removing yourself from Mikeโ€™s townhouse was the best option so you could cool off without figuratively ripping his head from his body, you grabbed your purse off his dresser.ย 

โ€œWhere are you going?โ€ Mike stood from the bed, pajama pants hanging low in his hips. There was clear panic in his eyes, but he couldnโ€™t navigate himself out of the hole he had dug himself.ย 

โ€œBack to my place.โ€ You didnโ€™t bother to untie your sneakers as you shoved your feet into them, pulling roughly until they popped on.ย 

โ€œCome on,โ€ He said your name softly, โ€œ-please just get back into bed-โ€

โ€œWhy?โ€ You snapped, โ€œYouโ€™re getting ready for work and I donโ€™t have a reason to be here right now.โ€ Mike winced, then inhaled deeply before nodding -not to agree with you, but to process the words that you just said to him.ย 

โ€œYou donโ€™t need a reason to be here.โ€ He was nearly begging. You bit your bottom lip to keep yourself from going off the deep end.ย 

โ€œFine, I donโ€™t want to be here.โ€ You ground out. And truthfully, you didnโ€™t. Anger was a rarity coming from you -life happens- but this wasnโ€™t โ€œlife happensโ€. This was โ€œRobby happensโ€ and when Robby happens...you shook your head.ย 

โ€œYou coming back here tonight?โ€ He knew it was a long shot, but he asked anyway.ย 

โ€œYou know, Mikeโ€ฆโ€ You shrugged, exasperated, arms swinging out from your sides, โ€œ-probably not.โ€ Done with the conversation you left the bedroom, angry that this was how the day -a day that was supposed to be fun and a distraction from the shit Mike deals with- started in a fiery blaze.ย 

โ€œDonโ€™t-โ€ Not bothering to hear his response as you fled through the townhouse, you let the door slam closed behind you.ย 

You Know Where You Are 1/3

Part II

Please reblog, like and/or comment :)

330 notes View Post
m14mags
4 weeks ago

you're a superhero | jack abbot x reader

summary: part 2 to 'you're gonna be a dad, congrats'. snippets of reader's and jack's relationship, reader's pregnancy and birth

pairing: dr. jack abbot x f!resident!reader

tw: no use of y/n (still don't like her in this house), attending/resident relationship, age gap, pregnancy, talks of birth, birth, blood, medical inaccuracies (emergency med), medical accuracies (ob/gyn), whitaker (i love him your honor), twilight is mentioned. not proof read

wc: 10k

author's note: i loved loved loved writing this!! i hope i did the pregnancy and birth scenes justice, cause it's heavily inspired by my own clinical experience in the ob/gyn field (in eu tho)... nvm, i couldn't leave out the pregnancy and just write the birth. hope you like it! feedback is always appreciated and thanks for all the love on the previous fics!

gif not mine

You're A Superhero | Jack Abbot X Reader

you always knew that jack abbot was careful and protective. from the very start of your relationship, he always made sure you ate well after your shifts, slept well before them and everything in between. on the rare occasions that you found yourself on the same shift as him, he made sure to almost never leave your side, always ready to protect you from a patient or their family if they became aggressive. how you managed to keep the relationship secret through all this, was a mystery.

but now that you were pregnant, it became a little too much. at first jack wanted you to take leave immediately, to not put any pressure on yourself or your developing baby. you laughed it off, but then saw his serious face. you two argued almost the whole night about it.

โ€œyou cannot be serious jack,โ€ you scoffed. it was early morning and you were preparing for yet another day shift. jack had a night off so it was a perfect opportunity for him to talk you out of going to work.

โ€œi donโ€™t want anything to happen to you or the baby,โ€ he says and crosses his arms over his chest.

โ€œanything can happen even if iโ€™m at home. i could slip down the stairs and bang my head,โ€ you say with disbelief, packing your stuff into a backpack.

โ€œyouโ€™re right. iโ€™m moving the bedroom downstairs. the second floor is off limits.โ€

you looked at him completely deadpan. but jackโ€™s face did not move. at all. was he actually serious. he canโ€™t be, can he?

โ€œokay, youโ€™re overreacting. and iโ€™m not in the mood to fight, so now iโ€™m gonna leave for work and when you decide to become rational again, we can have a conversation about this,โ€ you say, lean over to give him a quick kiss, before youโ€™re out the door and then the house.

you come in, saying hi to all the nurses that are gathering around central and quickly leave your things in your locker, before coming back so you donโ€™t miss hand off. the night shift seemed to have gone by smoothly, only leaving you with a few patients that were waiting for a room upstairs.ย 

as youโ€™re doing rounds with the night shift residents, your stomach starts acting up. the morning sickness was a bitch. sometimes you threw up before you came to work, sometimes she let you have a whole day without showing up and on some days, like right now, you had to excuse yourself in the middle of rounds only to run to the restroom and throw your guts up. luckily no one seemed to care enough to follow you or ask you afterwards, either too busy with leaving their shift or getting settled in for another 12 hours of the madness that the ER brought.

your shift started off strong. a mvc with four seriously injured patients. there was no time for you to be sick again. you listened for robbyโ€™s instructions as him, you, langdon and collins each took over one of the patients. whitaker, the year 4 med student, follows you to help you with the patient. the fact that he brought you the pregnancy tests was a real bonding moment for the both of you, and you decided you needed to keep an eye on him, so he wouldnโ€™t just blab around about you being pregnant with jackโ€™s baby. no one knew about your relationship still. the baby would be just another bomb and it was the last thing you needed right now.

you rolled the patient into the trauma bay with the help of the emtโ€™s. you and whitaker started with your assessments. the patientโ€™s had broken both his legs, caused by the impact when his car drove into the back of the other car. the legs got stuck under the dashboard and the bones just couldnโ€™t withstand the pressure of the crash.ย 

just as you were assessing the patient for any hidden injuries, the door opened and robby stepped in, already putting on a fresh pair of gloves.ย 

โ€œwhat do we have here?โ€ he asks and the nurse helps him into the white protective gown.

โ€œmale, late twenties, driver of the second car. unconciouss, head lacs from hitting the wheel, his airbag didnโ€™t open. have to rule out brain contusion. possible tib-fib fractures on both legs, wonโ€™t know exactly without an x-ray. the abdomen is bruised, from the impact with the steering wheel. already called surgery.โ€

whitaker takes the ultrasound probe and robby helps him examine the patientโ€™s abdomen.ย 

โ€œthere you see,โ€ robby points to the screen and you and whitaker take a look. the patientโ€™s spleen has ruptured and is now bleeding heavily into the abdomen. just as youโ€™re about to say something, the door to the bay opens again and dr. garcia steps in.

โ€œwhat do you got for me?โ€ she looks at you and puts on gloves. at first she lifts the cover on the patientโ€™s leg to look at them. you then show her the ultrasound.

โ€œspleen rupture.โ€

โ€œsend him up to surgery, through CT stat. iโ€™ll have an OR waiting for him,โ€ she says without hesitation and then promptly leaves the room to look at the other patients involved in the car crash.

you leave the patient in the care of nurses and whitaker and you exit the trauma bay. you find yourself standing next to dr. langdon, leaning on the table at the nurseโ€™s station, when the adrenaline rush from earlier catches up to you at the same time as your morning sickness and your head spins. you can feel your heartbeat in your head and ears. you close your eyes and try to take a deep breath but everything seems to be going darker by the second.ย 

langdon notices and calls out your name, but youโ€™re going down. youโ€™re expecting some sort of impact, but instead fall into a strong pair of arms and then everything becomes dark.

when you wake up again thereโ€™s a strong white light beaming straight into your eyes and a finger holding up one of your eyelid. you turn your head away and blink a few times.

โ€œsheโ€™s waking up,โ€ you recognize the voice as robbyโ€™s. just then you take a good look around you. robby and dana are standing next to you, laid in a bed in one of the exam rooms. robby is putting his pen light away, worry written all over his and danaโ€™s face.ย 

โ€œwhat happened?โ€ you ask and sit up slowly.

โ€œyou fainted. would probably hit the table if langdon didnโ€™t catch you,โ€ robby explains and dana just nods to emphasize how lucky you were.

โ€œare you okay?โ€ dana asks and you nod frantically.

โ€œyeah, itโ€™s justโ€ฆโ€ you try to explain, but robby steps in.

โ€œcan you leave us for a minute, please,โ€ he gives dana a smile and she nods and then leaves the exam room.

โ€œis there something wrong?โ€ he asks and sits himself at the end of the bed and looking straight at you.

โ€œwhy would there be something wrong? it was probably just a drop in my blood pressure, iโ€™ve always been in the lower numbers. also i didnโ€™t have a breakfast. iโ€™ll just grab a juice box and go back to work.โ€

โ€œokay. now try to be honest with me, and yourself. i canโ€™t have my residents going around throwing up and fainting after every case,โ€ he says. it hits you. he knew, he saw you. but it only happened a few times, the throwing up, you want to reply, but you are silent. under his gaze you feel like a small child, being reprimanded for something.

thereโ€™s a moment of silence between you and robby. he just looks at you, with those sad brown eyes that hold so much pain. and honestly, you donโ€™t want to cause him any more stress so you just decide to tell him. also, heโ€™s jackโ€™s friend, he would definitely understand, right? oh, how you wish jack was there to tell him himself and you didnโ€™t have to do it alone.

โ€œiโ€™m pregnantโ€ฆโ€ you say and smile shyly.

robby doesnโ€™t seem to be surprised. he probably puts two and two together. finding you in the restroom, throwing up. seeing you sick again and then fainting.

โ€œwell, congratulations. i didnโ€™t know you were in a relationship.โ€

โ€œwith jackโ€™s baby,โ€ you add quickly.ย 

now heโ€™s surprised and his eyes almost fall out. he starts opening and closing his mouth like a fish, and youโ€™re afraid youโ€™re gonna have to pick him up from the floor after he collapses from the information you just dropped.

โ€œbefore you say anything else. we know itโ€™s not the best situation. the relationship and now the baby, so we kept it a secret. but weโ€™re on different shifts, heโ€™s not my mentor anymoreโ€ฆโ€

a smile takes over robbyโ€™s face and he leans in, to trap you in a hug. his hands curl around your shoulders and he says: โ€œiโ€™m not mad. iโ€™m happy for you both. i just wish you told me sooner. jackโ€™s my friend. hell, youโ€™re my friend.โ€

โ€œsorry,โ€ you laugh a little when he lets go of you. โ€œbut can youโ€ฆโ€

โ€œsure. itโ€™s your business, not mine,โ€ he gives you a wink and stands up from the bed.

โ€œrest for a minute, grab something to eat, not just juice and then you can come back,โ€ he instructs and you smile.

jack isnโ€™t mad when you tell him that robby knows. heโ€™s excited. he doesnโ€™t have to pretend in front of his friend anymore and can talk to him if anything bothers him. he can also tell him to look after you in the day shifts as it seems you are not quitting anytime soon, though heโ€™d want that. he just wants you to focus on yourself and the baby, not having you running around the ER with another life at stake. heโ€™d always blame himself if anything happened to either of you.

itโ€™s hard maintaining it a secret though. much harder when you start showing. first mckay and dana find out. youโ€™re changing in the locker room, both women doing the same. you try to hide behind the locker as you put on the scrub top, when you hear a loud sharp sigh. you quickly pull the top over your head and turn to the noise and meet mckayโ€™s big green eyes.

โ€œoh my god, are you pregnant?โ€ she asks rather loudly, which only attracts danaโ€™s attention. both women are now looking you up and down. there is no point in lying. okay, maybe you could talk mckay out of thinking you were pregnant, but not dana. that woman knows everything. you donโ€™t even know how you managed to keep it a secret from her that long.

โ€œyou are arenโ€™t you?โ€ dana adds.

โ€œokay. maybe i am,โ€ you just let out a sigh, but smile a little. their eyes beam with happiness as they shower you with questions and congratulations. a second after you reveal the father of your child and your boyfriend and youโ€™re sure mckay mustโ€™ve dislocated her jaw with how low it dropped.

so it becomes more of a public secret. you decide to only tell your dayshift co-workers but youโ€™re sure the whole hospital (including gloria) knows too. and at the twenty four week mark, when the scrubs become a little too tight, you can just start wearing a shirt that saysย  โ€œyes i fucked my attending (multiple times). yes iโ€™m having his child. stop with the questions.โ€

and as if that wasnโ€™t enough, robby and langdon become protective of you the same way jack is. youโ€™re sure he has something to do with that, because heโ€™s still working nights. you can assure them all you want that you feel fine and are more than capable of working the big trauma cases. but robby is firm in his tone when he says that until further notice, youโ€™re working triage together with mckay.

โ€œyou could get hurt. or worse. the baby could get hurt,โ€ he explains when you start having one of your hormonal fits and try to talk him out of it.

โ€œiโ€™m sure the idea is all yours,โ€ you say with a touch or irony in your voice. robby just looks at you apologetically and leaves to take care of his patients.ย 

you donโ€™t mind working triage. if it was for a few hours. you needed the adrenaline. needed to feel the rush in your veins when you know someoneโ€™s on the verge of death and you help them come back. dealing with the headaches, colds and hypochondriacs wasnโ€™t on your 2025 bingo card. but at the same time, getting pregnant also wasnโ€™t.

โ€ฆ

โ€œiโ€™m so big,โ€ you pout.ย 

youโ€™re laying in the bath, jackโ€™s big, strong chest behind you, your head resting on his shoulder. his hands are around you, holding onto your pregnant belly asi if it was just gonna float away. yourโ€™re resting your hands on top of his when the realisation hits you.

โ€œno youโ€™re not,โ€ he objects and moves his hands around, caressing the skin of your belly.ย 

โ€œyou shouldโ€™ve seen me in the black scrubs. i looked like straight out of the โ€˜free willyโ€™. they could do another sequel with me as the main character,โ€ you say and huff.ย 

jackโ€™s chest shake with a laugh. his head then dips down to give you a kiss on the cheek.

โ€œyou'd be the hottest orca i know,โ€ he says in a low tone and when you turn back, to poke him in the shoulder for calling you โ€˜an orcaโ€™ you can see the biggest smirk on his face.ย 

โ€œyou donโ€™t wanna anger this orca even more,โ€ you warn him but jack is still smirking. and before you turn back around, he gives you a proper kiss. you lean into him, and when he deepens the kiss, you let out a silent moan. his hands are moving upward, thumb swiping gently over your sensitive nipples. you let out another moan and jack takes it as an invite.ย 

youโ€™d love for things to go further, but the baby has its plans and kicks you straight in the bladder. you wince and jack moves away, worry in his eyes.ย 

โ€œare you okay? did i do something?โ€ he asks.ย 

โ€œno, everythingโ€™s fine. the baby is just dancing around and got me in the bladder,โ€ you explain. jack smiles and gives you one last peck, before you both settle in the bath again.ย 

โ€ฆ

โ€œi see in your papers that you donโ€™t know the gender yet. do you want to find out now?โ€ the OB whoโ€™s on shift asks. you decided to have all the check-ups at the hospital, well, since youโ€™re basically living there.

โ€œno.โ€ย 

โ€œyes.โ€

you and jack look at each other in an instant.

โ€œi thought we were gonna keep it a surprise,โ€ you scowled at him.ย 

โ€œwhat? i told you i wanted to know,โ€ says jack.ย 

โ€œyou know what, why donโ€™t you talk about it and then call me when youโ€™re ready,โ€ the OB says, lets go of the ultrasound probe and leaves the exam room.

you sit up and jack hands you a bunch of paper towels so you donโ€™t get the gel all over your fresh scrubs. he was leaving the night shift when you came in and informed him of the OB check up you arranged for the morning.

โ€œi really wanted it to be a surprise,โ€ you pout and tears started to build up in the corner of your eyes. you were getting more and more emotional by the day. jack thought he could keep up with your mood swings, for his sake and yours, but sometimes it was too unpredictable even for him.

โ€œiโ€™m sorry baby, if i knew you felt so strongly about that iโ€™d have kept my mouth shut,โ€ jack tries to save the situation before you have a complete breakdown. but itโ€™s a little too late. few of the tears escape and run down your cheeks. his hand is quick to dry them and he reaches for more paper towels. you sob quietly and rub your eyes.ย 

โ€œno, iโ€™m sorry. iโ€™m a mess. itโ€™s the hormones,โ€ you say between sobs, trying to stop yourself. jack stands up from the chair heโ€™s been sat in and hugs your sitting figure. your belly is half covered, the scrub top getting stuck in the middle of you trying to pull it down.

jackโ€™s hand touches the skin of your stomach and caresses it gently.

โ€œdonโ€™t ever apologize for that baby. i love you, letโ€™s wait to find out okay?โ€ he assures and you just nod, wiping the tears away.

jack makes sure you leave safely and returns to the emergency department just in time for hand offs. the start to their shift is slow, they move some of the patients upwards and clear some beds for the night crazies that are sure to come.ย 

and they donโ€™t wait for too long. itโ€™s a little after 10pm when the ambulances bring some people from a birthday party. apparently choosing a sushi restaurant is as important as choosing a life partner. you have to make sure they donโ€™t poison you. jack lets the residents handle it as heโ€™s checking on a patient from the day shift whoโ€™s still waiting for an icu bed.

but itโ€™s after midnight when the real crazies start coming in. ambulance along with police bring in a man who tried to burgle a store and then decided to leave through the glass window. yes, straight through it. the other ambulances come in with patients from pedestrians vs. vehicle.

it takes them two hours to sort through everyone and when jack finally sits down, the door open once again, but this time thereโ€™s no rush, no shouting, no red and blue lights from the ambulance bay. itโ€™s you.ย 

he stands up straight, almost running your way. you stand in the main door, tears running down your face and hands shaking. he quickly asses you with his eyes, worry settling in his face. he cannot see anything being wrong, apart from the tears that are streaming down your face. but there could be something going on inside. the baby. worry is eating him alive but he tries to keep a straight face, he cannot crumble. not in front of you.

โ€œbaby what are you doing here? whatโ€™s wrong?โ€ he asks, grabbing your hands in his and finding your crying eyes.ย 

โ€œi-iโ€ฆโ€ you sob, unable to form any words.ย 

โ€œcome,โ€ he instructs and take you by your hands into an empty exam room. once youโ€™re in, he helps you to sit on the bed and then automatically starts the ultrasound machine.ย 

โ€œis everything okay with the baby? are you in any pain? are you bleeding?โ€ he showers you in questions. you dry your eyes in the sleeve of his hoodie, because thatโ€™s the only thing you can wear over your growing bump. then your hands fall down to your growing belly and jack stops in his movements and stands in front of you.

โ€œiโ€™m sorry if that was too much, you just scared me,โ€ he explains and with a small smile and holds your hands in his, gently moving his thumbs over your knuckles, to ease whatever you were feeling right now.

โ€œi ju-just, couldnโ€™t sleep,โ€ you start and jack stops himself from saying that you couldโ€™ve just called instead of making the drive to the ER in the middle of night, not to upset you even more.

โ€œi was thinking about our fight. and i just donโ€™t want you to be upset. itโ€™s your baby too. if you want to know the gender you should be able to,โ€ you manage to say in between sobs. you wipe your nose in the sleeve and look up at jack. your eyes are red and tired, because itโ€™s 2am in the morning. you expect to find jackโ€™s always serious face, but instead, relief takes over. he gives you a smile and takes a seat right next to you, on the bed.

โ€œgod, baby. i thought something happened to you. iโ€™m not upset with you, i could never. i was just worried,โ€ he says, hand coming up to cup your face. his thumb wipes away the remains of tears that were still there.ย 

โ€œi donโ€™t want you to be worried,โ€ you say and new tears start pooling in your eyes. jack grabs a tissue from a nearby cart and hands it to you. you wipe your tears and blow your nose. you feel like a little kid, being comforted by a parent after doing something stupid.ย 

โ€œiโ€™ll always be worried, baby. i love you. and iโ€™m perfectly fine to wait to find out if you want,โ€ he reassures you and leans in to kiss you on the forehead. you calm down at the touch of his lips to your skin and close your eyes for a second.

โ€œi kind of want to know now though,โ€ you say and look down into your lap, embarrassed by the sudden change of mind. jack doesnโ€™t show it, but heโ€™s smirking inside, throwing hands up in a winning gesture. he knew youโ€™d wanna wait, but something inside was telling him that eventually youโ€™d cave in. you were too curious to wait for the actual birth.

โ€œwant me to do it?โ€ he asks with a raised brow.

โ€œwell i didnโ€™t come here to chit chat.โ€ย 

now heโ€™s smirking. youโ€™re back to your good old pregnant sassy yourself. youโ€™re pulling up the hoodie as jack takes the always cold ultrasound gel and puts it all over your bump. you wiggle excitedly and jack laughs a little before grabbing the probe and angling the screen your way also, so you can look at the baby together.

โ€œokay, letโ€™s find out,โ€ he says in a low voice, moving the probe around.

โ€œwait!โ€ you say suddenly and jack jerks his hand away from your abdomen, afraid heโ€™s done something wrong.

โ€œwhat do you think itโ€™s gonna be? wanna bet?โ€ you smirk his way and he has to take a deep breath to get over the small adrenaline rush you just gave him.

โ€œi donโ€™t know. i was thinking a girl, but iโ€™m fine with whatever as long as the baby is healthy,โ€ he says, returning the probe to your belly, the babyโ€™s spine appearing on the screen again.

โ€œoh my god. i was thinking boy. we gotta bet!โ€

โ€œokay, okay, itโ€™s a bet,โ€ jack laughs at your sudden excitement to find out the babyโ€™s gender. โ€œlet me make a few measurements thought, to make sure everything is fine.โ€

โ€œjack, we were at the OB in the morning, just focus on the important part.โ€

โ€œyou can never be too careful,โ€ he objects, but gives you a smirk. โ€œokay, pay attention,โ€ he instructs and you can see on the screen that heโ€™s moving down to the babyโ€™s parts.

you both squint at the screen, silent race between the two of you, of whoโ€™s gonna be the first to see it. jackโ€™s steady hand continues to move, but the babyโ€™s movement are making it a little hard untilโ€ฆ

โ€œthere!โ€ you yell out, almost sitting up, and point at the screen. jack almost flinches again, but keeps his hand on your abdomen, trying to focus the picture better by pressing all the different buttons on the ultrasound.

โ€œthatโ€™s just the cord,โ€ jack smirks when taking a better look at the screen.

โ€œfuck,โ€ you breathe out, settling back on the bed. you rub your eyes with your hand. itโ€™s 2am, youโ€™re heavily pregnant and tired. no one would expect you to see everything clearly at the ultrasound. well, you would, because youโ€™re always expecting 110% of yourself. jack always tells you to cut yourself a little slack. right after telling you to just take the damn maternity leave and not go to work.

โ€œbut this. this is it,โ€ jack says, freezing the picture. you turn your head to the screen and look at it closely, before a wide smile settles on your face. tears are starting to pool at your eyes again, and you cannot stop them.

โ€œi win,โ€ you say triumphantly. โ€œi was right.โ€

โ€œyouโ€™re always right,โ€ jackโ€™s smile is just as wide as your, not a hint of disappointment or sadness at the results of the bet.

โ€œtrue,โ€ you give him a wink and sit up at the bed, hanging your legs down. jack turns off the ultrasound machine, but not before printing out the picture of your sonโ€™s genitals. you donโ€™t question that choice, too busy with smiling and wiggling your legs.

jack stands between your legs, as close as the bump allows him and cups your face in his hands. he looks into your eyes, intensely, with all the emotion that heโ€™s feeling. happiness, joy, bliss. everything.

โ€œwe are going to have a son,โ€ he accentuates every word.

his thumb swipes across your bottom lip and he dips his head down to kiss you. it surprises you, how deep the kiss is, but you donโ€™t complain. one of jackโ€™s hand moves from your face down to the bump. you are both too invested in the kiss to realise thereโ€™s still a whole lot of gel on your abdomen. youโ€™re the first to break the kiss, after a moment.

โ€œfuck, your hoodie is gonna be ruined,โ€ you exhale, looking down at your bump. the gel is a bitch. it seems to find its way everywhere itโ€™s not supposed to be. and it ruined a few of your tops already, because you just couldnโ€™t get it washed out properly.ย 

โ€œi donโ€™t care, i have others,โ€ he says and leans in for another kiss, but then his pager goes off. he stops midway, taking a look at it, and then gives you one last kiss.

โ€œsorry baby theyโ€™re bringing in more patients. are you okay to go home by yourself? should i send someone with you? call you an uber?โ€

โ€œjack, go. iโ€™ll be fine.โ€

โ€œdrive safely. text me when youโ€™re home.โ€

โ€ฆ

jack is unable to convince you to stay home even after the 36 week mark. thereโ€™s only one month to go, until your baby boyโ€™s here, but youโ€™re stubborn as ever. youโ€™re waddling around the ER, staying on top of triage, where robby put you. him and langdon and dana and well, almost everyone on the day shift, including whitaker, is keeping an eye on you. jack isnโ€™t texting just you, but heโ€™s bombarding robby with messages when you donโ€™t respond or pick up your phone and robby has to reassure him that youโ€™re fine, youโ€™re wearing your compression socks, eating and drinking water and taking breaks regularly.

now youโ€™re 38 weeks, feeling like a balloon thatโ€™s about to blow. and the braxton hicks youโ€™ve been experiencing for the past week or so certainly arenโ€™t helping. youโ€™re in for another day shift, clutching an apple juice box in your hands as you go around listening to the hand offs, though frank told you, you could sit down and heโ€™ll update you on everything afterwards. the last thing you wanted to do was sit. standing up, you felt like a balloon, but sitting down, you felt like that weird sea animal called blobfish. its sad, pink, shiny face embedded in your mind from high school biology.

youโ€™re lucky to get a slow start into the shift. you sit in the nurses station, feet propped up on a chair that is currently not occupied by anyone, a labour and parenthood book in your hand. youโ€™re currently reading up on the labour chapters and sigh suddenly.

โ€œi canโ€™t believe how much iโ€™ve forgotten about this stuff,โ€ you say and dana laughs from behind you.ย 

โ€œthe only thing you wanna know is get all the pain relief you can get and donโ€™t listen to anyone. your body is gonna tell you everything,โ€ she says and you see langdonโ€™s confused face. heโ€™s standing in front of a computer, putting some patient information in.

โ€œdonโ€™t listen to anyone? what kind of advice is that,โ€ he scoffs.

โ€œoh, just another man all up in a womenโ€™s business,โ€ dana replies annoyingly, which makes langdon shut up and not say another word. you just laugh at their interaction and go back to your book. then whitaker shows up out of nowhere.

โ€œdoc, could you help me with a case?โ€

you look up at him. it doesnโ€™t seem that serious, so you let go of the book and beckon to him.

โ€œsure, but help me stand up, these chairs are madly low.โ€ he jumps forward, catching your hands in his and pulling you up from the chair. you exhale when youโ€™re up, having to adjust to the change of positions.

to say youโ€™d made whitaker kind of your servant would be an understatement. but you didnโ€™t really consider it a bad thing. and he didnโ€™t mind too, or so you believed. if he did, he never said a thing. so yeah, maybe you took a little advantage of that.

โ€œi have a young male, complaining of chest pains since this morning. the pain is worse when heโ€™s laying down, no recent trauma or illness, no fever, cough, shortness of breath. i did a cardiopulmonary exam, found decreased breath sounds on the right side,โ€ whitaker presents while youโ€™re walking to the exam room.ย 

โ€œwhat test did you order?โ€ you ask and rub your back while walking. you were sore from the night, not getting enough sleep, because the baby decided to have a dance party at midnight.

โ€œbasic labs and chest x-ray, should we do an ecg?โ€ he asks and you enter the room. you both disinfect your hands and grab gloves from the cart. you introduce yourself to the patient and almost instantly, you can tell what is going to be wrong with him. nevertheless, you repeat whitakerโ€™s exam, to make sure for yourself. grabbing your stethoscope, you listen to the patients lungs and heart.

โ€œletโ€™s do an ecg, just to be sure itโ€™s not something heart related. are the x-rays back?โ€ you ask. whitaker goes to the computer, sound of clicking filling the room.

โ€œyes, theyโ€™re here.โ€

โ€œbring them up, letโ€™s look at them,โ€ you say and stand next to him.ย 

โ€œoh my god. a pneumothorax? howโ€™s that possible, thereโ€™s no injury.โ€

โ€œdo you know what a primary spontaneous pneumothorax is?โ€ you ask. whitaker nods and start babbling away all the fact he knows about psp.

โ€œit can occur in young males, with a tall and thin build. often caused by the rupture of bullae.โ€

โ€œright, how do you treat them?โ€

โ€œ100% oxygen to let it resorb on itself and observe. if it gets worseโ€ฆ chest tube?โ€

โ€œvery right. you do that and iโ€™ll just be back there if you need me. if he gets worse, call me right away.โ€

with that you leave the room. in the hall, you have to stop for a minute, taking a deep breat in. the baby boy is really enjoying torturing you, kicking you in the ribs and punching your bladder every opportunity he gets. now itโ€™s not any different and you go to the restroom, as the urgency builds up. shouldnโ€™t have down that apple juice in one sitting.

you feel like you barely make it and sit down at the toilet as quickly as you can without breaking your back. you really donโ€™t want to have that bella swan bathroom moment. surely not in the workplace, that would be embarrassing. and you donโ€™t know if whitaker alone would be capable of getting you up from the floor. your mind starts going in spirals imagining the mortification if you had fallen down in the restroom with your pants down. just when you think youโ€™re done, you feel a light โ€˜popโ€™. you feel a warm fluid streaming down into the toilet and you freeze. was that just what you think it was?

right after that, a quite strong braxton-hicks hits you and you have to keep sitting on the toilet to breathe through it. after, you exit the stall washing your hands in the sink, looking at the clock. it seems that what youโ€™ve now had was two contractions in an hour. thatโ€™s not labour yet, but could be turning into it soon. you also needed to make sure that what you just felt streaming down your leg was or was not amniotic fluid.ย 

coming out of the restroom, you find whitaker in the crowd. yes, you could go to robby or dana or langdon but they would probably freak out, call jack and make you lie down until you gave birth. you didnโ€™t exactly want that. so whitaker it is.

heโ€™s standing in front of a computer, looking at some patient stuff when you approach him.ย 

โ€œoh, hey. just so you know, our patient responded well to the oxygen, i think the pneumothorax will go away on its own.โ€

โ€œyeah great, i need you to do something for me.โ€

whitakerโ€™s eyes grow even bigger, if thatโ€™s even possible and he opens his mouth in question.

โ€œyouโ€™ll now go up to the third floor, subtly, labour & delivery is there and grab one of the amnisure kits. subtly. do you get what the keyword is? no one can know.โ€

youโ€™re almost sure whitakerโ€™s eyes are gonna pop out when you drop your request.ย 

โ€œdid your water break?โ€ he squeals and you hit him in the shoulder, trying to shut him up.

โ€œwell, we wonโ€™t know without the test will we? so go, please,โ€ you plead and after a moment whitaker nods and strides away towards the elevators.

โ€œeverything okay?โ€ a voice appears behind you. you turn around at the surprise and see robby standing behind you, his hands in the pockets of the signature blue hoodie, the stethoscope hanging around his neck. you instinctively touch yours and swing on your feet.ย 

โ€œsure, why wouldnโ€™t it be?โ€ you ask, hoping to sound as innocent as you can.

โ€œjust checking in,โ€ robby replies, following you into the nurses station.

โ€œdid jack tell you to check in on me again?โ€

โ€œno, this one is purely on me,โ€ robby laughs. โ€œso why is whitaker running around the whole hospital?โ€

โ€œtaking care of a patient, i reckon,โ€ you answer and sit down on the chair, sighing with relief, when you can finally rest your back.

โ€œand you? did you eat something? drink water?โ€ robby swarms you with the questions and you just rolled your eyes.

โ€œyes, boss, donโ€™t worry. iโ€™m fine. you can let jack know when he asks,โ€ you reply and robby just gives you a tired smile.

you didnโ€™t mind the attention at first. but now it was becoming more and more annoying. youโ€™re not a little kid. you can ask for help when you need it. hell, you just asked. yes, you asked whitaker and in secret, but you did anyways. and that counts for something.

everytime the elevator dings, you turn your head around. dana is asking if youโ€™re expecting someone soon, but you hit her with the โ€˜yes a beautiful baby boyโ€™ and she just shakes her head, but you can see her smile. it takes like seven elevator rides, for the doors to finally open and reveal whitaker, who looks like he just ran a marathon.ย 

โ€œdoc, i hope this was worth it,โ€ he says silently, when you meet him halfway on the way from the elevator. โ€œi had to flirt and lie to some L&D nurse to get the kit.โ€ย 

โ€œperfect. now letโ€™s go, you need to do it for me,โ€ you say and grab him by his shoulder to take him into an empty exam room.

โ€œwhat?โ€ he stops abruptly and looks at you with wide eyes. they might pop out any moment, the second time in under an hour. โ€œi-i-i donโ€™t thinkโ€ฆ i-iโ€™m not the right person. shouldnโ€™t we ask dr. robby for help?โ€

โ€œno way. you can do it. itโ€™s just like sticking a long q-tip up someoneโ€™sโ€ฆ well you know what. iโ€™d do it myself, but you can see iโ€™m kind of indisposed right now,โ€ you rub your belly to accentuate what youโ€™re trying to say.

whitaker cringes visibly, but you donโ€™t allow him to protest any more and you go inside the empty room. before anything happens, you both read through the instructions.

โ€œseems pretty easy,โ€ you say and close the brochure that was inside the kit. โ€œyou just swab it around, then we put it in the solvent and then test it. just like with covid tests.โ€

your joke doesnโ€™t exactly land, because when you look at whitaker, his hands are shaking. you place a hand on his shoulder, trying to sound reassuring, but your own voice shakes. youโ€™re not sure if you want to know. maybe it would be better to wait for the contractions and forget all about the possible membranes rupture.

โ€œitโ€™s gonna be okay,โ€ you say for both of you. then you take a blanket thatโ€™s on the bed and wrap it around you, discarding of your scrub pants and underwear. whitaker, like a gentleman he is, turns around and puts on a clean pair of gloves.

โ€œokay, letโ€™s get this over with,โ€ you say as you position yourself on the bed, with your knees bent. whitaker takes a deep breath in but complies. itโ€™s over in a minute. you then put your pants back on and help whitaker with the other steps of the test.ย 

โ€œokay, now we wait for 5 to 10 minutes and weโ€™ll know,โ€ you say, putting your hands on your hips looking at the vial, where the test is submerged.ย 

โ€œi donโ€™t think we have to wait that long,โ€ whitaker points out to the obvious two lines forming on the test stripe. these damn two lines, theyโ€™re gonna ruin your life. guess it starts with two lines and ends with two lines, you think to yourself.

โ€œyouโ€™re in labour,โ€ he says plainly and you think heโ€™s gonna faint, from the way heโ€™s looking at you. his skin was fair to begin with, but now whitaker looks like a ghost.

โ€œlabour starts with regular contractions, whitaker. not with membranes rupture. and i donโ€™t got th-...โ€ you have to stop, because another strong cramp hits your lower back. grabbing the edge of the bed, you have to breathe through it for a few seconds, before being to able finish your sentence. โ€œas you can see, i donโ€™t have regular contractions yet.โ€ย 

you look at the clock in the exam room. how far apart were they. 30 maybe 40 minutes? they hit hard, but you still had some time before the active stage of labour started.

โ€œyou sure?โ€ whitaker asks, worry in his voice.

โ€œ100%. letโ€™s get back to work.โ€

robby needs your help with an end-of-life care patient who the ambulance brought in from a senior care facility. taking care of them and talking to the family can be emotionally draining, but at least you arenโ€™t risking getting hurt in the midst of a serious trauma case.

those damn braxton-hicks are catching up to you as you go back and forth between the nurses station, the patientโ€™s room and family room and when you finally have a moment for yourself, you ground yourself on the table where the computer sits, and breathe through one of the stronger ones. theyโ€™re starting to get a bit more regular and strong, and you donโ€™t think you can call them braxton-hicks anymore. fuck, you cannot be labouring in the middle of your shift. jackโ€™s at home, fast asleep after a rough night shift, but you know heโ€™s only a phone call away. still, you donโ€™t wanna disturb anyone, since the pain is still quite bearable.

but those little stops and you breathing a little too deeply, cannot hide from robbyโ€™s eyes. heโ€™s seen you walk around with one hand either on your back or front, having to stop occasionally and focus on your breathing. he knew something was up, but he wanted you to admit it first. he couldnโ€™t pressure you into saying anything. he can ask though.

โ€œwhatโ€™s up with you,โ€ he rolls forward on the chair in the nurses station to face you. โ€œshould i be calling jack?โ€

youโ€™re in the middle of trying to breathe through another contraction subtly, when his voice interrupts. you look up at him. โ€œwhat?โ€

โ€œare you having contractions?โ€ he asks blatantly.

โ€œno.โ€

โ€œdonโ€™tโ€ฆ iโ€™ve seen you needed to take breaks more often. youโ€™ve been breathing as if youโ€™re practicing for a deep dive. how far apart they are?โ€

you take a look at your watch. โ€œlike fifteen minutes? theyโ€™re still pretty irregular. some i can just ignore, some i need to breathe through. itโ€™s nothing.โ€

โ€œitโ€™s not nothing,โ€ robby scoffs. โ€œiโ€™m calling jack. and getting you a fetal heartbeat monitor for now.โ€

โ€œno, robby. donโ€™t call him just yet, heโ€™ll freak out. iโ€™ll call him myself, when iโ€™m actually in labour.โ€

robby rubs his face with his hands in desperation. โ€œwhy are you so stubborn?โ€

โ€œiโ€™m not. iโ€™m asserting my autonomy,โ€ you smile innocently, batting your eyelashes. robby just laughs at your actions.

โ€œokay, but if the contractions are closer together or your water breaks, tell me immediately,โ€ he instructs. youโ€™re taken aback by his words, staring at him wide eyed and he instantly catches on. you wish you could control your face better.

โ€œoh, god. donโ€™t tell meโ€ฆโ€ he rubs his face again. โ€œyouโ€™re unbelievable. how long? was it clear?โ€

โ€œi donโ€™t know, maybe two hours ago. we did an amnisure.โ€

โ€œwe?โ€ robby looks at you with a surprise.ย 

โ€œwell, whitaker mightโ€™ve helped.โ€

โ€œpoor kid,โ€ robby laughs. โ€œbut that changes the situation. iโ€™m getting you up to L&D now.โ€

โ€œnoooo,โ€ you protest. โ€œi wanna be here.โ€

โ€œwhatโ€™s going on?โ€ dana intercepts your conversation.

โ€œsheโ€™s in labour,โ€ robby says.

โ€œwhat?โ€ dana asks with a surprise.ย 

โ€œgod, robby, does the whole floor need to know?โ€ you ask, but youโ€™re interrupted by a contraction.ย 

โ€œthat was not fifteen minutes,โ€ he points out.ย 

โ€œi told you theyโ€™re irregular,โ€ you say in between breaths, clutching at your lower back. maybe you are gonna have a bella swan moment with how the pain is stabbing you in the back.

โ€œi donโ€™t believe you, frankly. youโ€™ve been lying the whole morning. weโ€™re taking you up and calling jack. iโ€™m revoking your autonomy,โ€ robby says and you know he means it as a joke but the way he says it, makes you only wanna fight him more. youโ€™re not going anywhere.

โ€œno.โ€

โ€œyes.โ€

โ€œno.โ€

โ€œiโ€™m your attending, you gotta listen.โ€

โ€œhoney, heโ€™s got a point. letโ€™s just go upstairs to get you checked out and then weโ€™ll see what we can do next. donโ€™t you wanna know if the baby is okay?โ€ dana tries to mediate the whole situation. โ€œdonnie, a wheelchair please?โ€

โ€œhow dare you use my own child against me. and i can walk just fine,โ€ you say. another contractions comes and everybody knows that what you just said is bullshit.ย 

so you let them sit you in a wheelchair and before they can roll you into the elevator, you manage to yell at whitaker to follow you. nor dana neither robby question your choice of company, so all four of you just ride silently to the third floor.

robby wheels you into one of the exam rooms, your OB taking in the escort that came with you. you just brush it off, when they leave you alone in the room, for your check up. but before they can leave, you give whitaker your phone and tell him to text jack.

the OB does both an ultrasound and a vaginal exam. the verdict is, yes, your water broke, yes, youโ€™re having contractions like ten minutes apart and youโ€™re 3 centimeters dilated.

โ€œperfect, i can go back to work right?โ€

โ€œyou were serious about that?โ€ your OB asks with a surprised tone. you start nodding your head.

โ€œiโ€™d strongly suggest against that. we can give you a room in our department, your co-workers can come visit if they want, but unless you plan on delivering the baby in the ERโ€ฆโ€

โ€œshit,โ€ you sigh, one of the stronger contractions hits you. the doctor is kind enough to wait while you breathe through it.ย 

suddenly the door opens and whitaker is standing with your phone to his ear. double shit, you think.ย 

โ€œiโ€™m sorry. i texted him, he started calling so i picked up and now heโ€™s mad at me, and possibly you and-...โ€ you donโ€™t have to think twice to know whoโ€™s he talking about.

โ€œjust give me the fucking phone, dennis.โ€

you put the phone to your ear and before you can say anything, jack does.

โ€œwhy didnโ€™t you call me sooner. and why does whitaker have your phone?โ€ you can hear him packing stuff, probably getting ready to come to the hospital.

โ€œi didnโ€™t wanna worry you. it was nothing.โ€

โ€œwater breaking is not nothing. how was the check up?โ€

โ€œeverything is fine. iโ€™m at 3 centimeters, you donโ€™t have to rush. still a long way to go.โ€

โ€œwell iโ€™m on my way anyway. hold on. i love you both,โ€ he says and with that he hangs up.

you let the nice OB convince you to stay in L&D and you convince robby to let whitaker stay with you until jack arrives. robby asks the student if itโ€™s okay with him and to your surprise he just nods, rubbing your back when a contraction comes.

โ€œhow was the pneumothorax patient?โ€ you ask whitaker as youโ€™re walking around the room, already dressed in one of the pale blue hospital gowns, fetal heartbeat monitor strapped to your belly.

โ€œgood, good. he got a bed upstairs, for observation,โ€ whitaker says and holds your phone, where you showed him an app for timing your contractions. he takes the job very seriously.

โ€œso, you know what you are naming your son yet?โ€ he asks, to take your attention off the pain as much as he can. you shake your head, inhaling and exhaling deeply, but not too deeply to send yourself into hyperventilation. the room is filled by the sound of your breathing and the soft beats of your babyโ€™s heart.

โ€œwe havenโ€™t thought about it yet. weโ€™ll just decide on the spot.โ€

minutes pass, you feel like the contractions are coming more and more frequently and each time more and more intense than the last ones. breathing isnโ€™t enough, you have to groan and moan to feel some sort of relief. whitaker is still clutching your phone, timing them patiently.

โ€œhow far apart are they?โ€

โ€œthree minutes.โ€

โ€œfuck. where is jack?โ€ you cry, the pain sending a few tears down your face. youโ€™re standing by the bed, bent over, holding onto the edge and moving your hips, to ease at least some of it. it is becoming more and more unbearable. and you refuse to let the midwife check you. you donโ€™t want to know how close you are to pushing a watermelon out of your lady parts. you like your lady parts. jack likes them. or at least you hope. and you donโ€™t want to know, in case jack wasnโ€™t gonna make it. where the hell was he anyway?

โ€œshould i call him?โ€ whitaker asks.

โ€œget him here. now. or iโ€™m gonna kill someone.โ€

whitakerโ€™s eyes are threatening to pop out once again, as he excuses himself and leaves the room to call jack. it takes a moment and heโ€™s back.ย 

โ€œcould you put pressure on my lower back?โ€ you ask, gritting your teeth. whitakers is by you in a second, but doesnโ€™t know exactly what to do.

โ€œjust place your hands on my lower back. and put a lot of pressure. whatโ€™s there to not understand?โ€

whitaker does as you instruct and you sigh. the pressure feels so good. itโ€™s like someoneโ€™s fighting the contractions with you.

thereโ€™s a knock on the door and without really waiting for the answer, the person knocking enters. itโ€™s jack. just seeing him makes you feel 100% better. his calm but serious presence making itself known.

โ€œwhat the fuck, whitaker?โ€ is the first thing he says. the med student jumps away from you, putting his hands into the pockets of his scrubs.ย 

โ€œi asked him, jack, let him go,โ€ you say on whitakerโ€™s behalf. he doesnโ€™t need much persuading. jack raises an eyebrow at him and he leaves the room.

โ€œfinally, youโ€™re here,โ€ you sigh happily, when jack approaches you.

โ€œyes, iโ€™m here baby,โ€ he says and you lean into him, head resting on his chest, still bent over slightly. his hands are rubbing your back and hips, helping you breathe through the contractions.ย 

a minute later the midwife knocks, asking you if you hadnโ€™t changed your mind about the vaginal exam. you agree to one, now that jackโ€™s here. the midwife greets him and they both help you up on bed for the exam.ย 

โ€œwell isnโ€™t it wonderful? youโ€™re about 8 centimeters and looking at the fetal monitor, baby is doing just fine. just hold on a little more while, and youโ€™ll have him here with you.โ€

โ€œwhat? more? please no,โ€ you cry and jack bends down to kiss your head.

โ€œdonโ€™t kiss me. you did this to me. now i have to push a fucking watermelon out of my vagina,โ€ you scowl at jack and he cannot help himself but smile at your actions.

โ€œiโ€™m sorry, baby,โ€ he says as heโ€™s helping you down from the bed in between contractions, because you cannot bear laying down in this state.

you feel like your abdomen is contracting all the time, giving you no breaks. you walk around the room, jack following you like a puppy, holding your hands or the whole lot of you when you need him, handing you the water bottle when youโ€™re thirsty and popping the green apple bears in your mouth when youโ€™re in need of some quick energy. apparently the others taste like vomit, but not the green bears. he doesnโ€™t comment on that and just hands you more gummies when you ask, like the gentleman he is.

thereโ€™s a stage at which you start pleading and protesting, thinking it would get you out of this mess, but itโ€™s too late. you know it, he knows it, but you do it nevertheless. the pain is becoming unbearable, no amount of breathing and moving around helping to ease it.ย 

โ€œfucking kill me. i cannot do it.โ€

โ€œdonโ€™t talk like that, of course you can. look how far youโ€™ve gotten, a little bit more and the babyโ€™s here,โ€ jack tells you reassuringly.

โ€œitโ€™s always โ€˜a little moreโ€™ and never โ€˜youโ€™re ready to pushโ€™ or โ€˜we can see the headโ€™,โ€ you say with a lot of sarcasm and jack just wanna laugh, but stops himself, when he sees your glare.

a contractions hits you, this one even more intense than the last ones, if itโ€™s even possible and you feel pressure down there. the need to put yourself into it and push a little is surprising, but your body does what it needs without you really controlling it anymore. you feel like your whole body is contracting and helping push out this baby. you lean into the bed, still standing up.

โ€œjackโ€ฆโ€ you breathe out. โ€œi think i need to push.โ€

heโ€™s quick in his actions, pressing the call button to alert the midwife whoโ€™s taking care of you.ย 

โ€œdo you want to go up on the bed?โ€

โ€œno,โ€ you reply at the same time as the midwife enters the room. you donโ€™t really recognise her presence in the room as you turn more and more inwards, focusing on you and getting this baby out. another contraction washes over you like a ocean wave.

โ€œoh god, itโ€™s coming,โ€ you cry out and you can feel the midwife putting a sheet under you and kneeling down to see whatโ€™s going on.ย 

โ€œyouโ€™re doing great, doctor, i can already see a bit of the babyโ€™s head. on the next contraction, give me your biggest push.โ€

you push as hard as you can, jack whispering in your hair how youโ€™re the strongest woman heโ€™s ever met. one of his hands never leaves your lower back and the other is caressing your hair, getting the short ones out of your sweaty face.ย 

โ€œperfect. one more big push and the babyโ€™s here,โ€ the midwife says and you can feel her hands on your lady parts, though you donโ€™t care. it actually gives you a nice sense of where to concentrate all the strength you have left.

and on the next contraction, with jack still whispering encouraging words into your ear, you push so hard, your vision almost goes black. you feel like youโ€™re on fire and are about to blow up. with a loud cry, you give the last push everything you can and somewhere from under you, you can hear the midwife telling you to breathe.

โ€œbaby, his head is out, just breathe, youโ€™re doing amazing,โ€ jack repeats her words and when you look at him, you can see tears in his eyes. you donโ€™t ever recall seeing jack crying. you give him a weak smile.

โ€œnow we wait for the shoulders. on the next contractions, push just a little and your baby will be here,โ€ the midwife gives you instructions and you can already feel the next contraction building up.ย 

โ€œoh god,โ€ you give into the sensation one last time and suddenly all the pain is away. you feel like every organ in your body dropped back into its original place and relief washes over you. you take in a sharp breath, the euphoria taking over your body.

โ€œcongratulations, doctor. your baby boy is here,โ€ the midwife exclaims from underneath you and you feel a sudden urge to hold him. you need to hold your baby now.

โ€œwhere is he?โ€ you ask with a weak voice. the midwife instructs you to turn around carefully and sit on the bed, as sheโ€™s holding the baby boy, because heโ€™s still connected to you by the cord. at the same time jack is helping you undress the hospital gown and before you know it, a warm, little, pink bundle with surprisingly lot of curls, is laid down on your chest, squirming under every touch. you fall in love. hard.

โ€œwhy is he not crying?โ€ you ask, worry lacing your voice.

โ€œheโ€™s still on the cord, he might not cry until we cut it. itโ€™s perfectly normal,โ€ the midwife says.

โ€œgod. baby. heโ€™s perfect, youโ€™re perfect,โ€ jack says from beside you and you finally turn your head to look at him properly. a wide smile is on his face and heโ€™s rubbing his eyes, to stop himself from crying. heโ€™s looking at you wit love in his eyes. like you hung the moon and stars and even more.

โ€œiโ€™m sorry, i didnโ€™t mean to be rude before,โ€ you apologise, raising your hand to touch his face, recalling the things you said. you wipe away a tear thatโ€™s streaming down his cheek with your thumb.

โ€œwhat? i didnโ€™t even notice,โ€ jack brushes you off, his hand caressing your face, before lightly touching the babyโ€™s back. he squirms once again under jackโ€™s touch and for the first time, opens his eyes just a bit.ย 

โ€œhe looks just like you,โ€ jack almost whispers.ย 

โ€œwhat do you mean,โ€ you laugh. โ€œheโ€™s just like you. look at his hair. look how much there is.โ€

jack looks lovingly at the little bundle in your arms. itโ€™s almost unbelievable. youโ€™ve never seen him soโ€ฆ vulnerable, emotional. yes, heโ€™s been vulnerable with you many times during your relationship, though never like this. something has changed.ย 

โ€œdo you want to cut the cord? itโ€™s collapsed,โ€ the midwife says and you want to protest, because you donโ€™t want jack anywhere near your destroyed lady parts, but when you see the excitement in his eyes, you donโ€™t say anything.ย 

she hands jack the scissors and instructs him on where to cut. with a doctorโ€™s precision he cuts through it and immediately after, your son starts to get fussy and lets out his first cry. you feel relief, though you knew he was okay, because you could feel him moving and breathing on you, but the moment you hear his cry, youโ€™re certain.

you feel a slight pressure down there and the midwife says, itโ€™s probably the placenta. when she checks, and is right, she instructs you to give a little push to deliver it. itโ€™s nothing like delivering the baby, but your lady parts have had enough for one day. or so you thought.

โ€œokay, perfect. iโ€™m just gonna do a quick check now and then leave you all three to enjoy each other,โ€ she says. you grimace. are you ever gonna catch a break? jack holds your hand through the whole check up and when the midwife tells you everything is fine and you didnโ€™t even tear, you smile widely.ย 

โ€œyouโ€™re a superhero,โ€ jack says with a smile, giving you a quick kiss.

โ€œhave you thought of a name for him? or do you need more time?โ€ she asks before leaving the room.

โ€ฆ

all the name choosing was giving him a headache, even after all this time passed. you just couldnโ€™t find a common ground on any of the options.

โ€œjack is a nice name,โ€ he says as a joke, though you take it seriously and glare at his back.

jack is standing by the stove, preparing dinner for the both of you, while you just sit at the table, munching on the green gummy bears you love so much.

โ€œyeah so your ego can go through the roof? i donโ€™t think so,โ€ you say with a drop of sarcasm.

โ€œyou donโ€™t like my name?โ€

โ€œi like your name. but itโ€™s yours. iโ€™m not naming our son the same.โ€

โ€œwhy not? iโ€™d name our daughter after you,โ€ he opposes and you laugh at the absurdity of the conversation.ย 

โ€œeven i wouldnโ€™t name our daughter after me,โ€ you reply and laugh, chewing off a head of the gummy bear. jack smirks back at you, grabbing two plates from the cupboard, putting the food on them and walking over to the table.

โ€œletโ€™s eat some real food,โ€ he says and puts the plate in front of you. thereโ€™s a piece of chicken tender, potatoes and a salad, because jack insists eating green stuff is good for you. duh, why does he think youโ€™re always snacking on the green gummy bears?

โ€œi like aaron. or spencer,โ€ you say.

โ€œyou might not name our kid after me. but iโ€™m certainly not naming him after a criminal minds character.โ€

โ€œwhy not though?โ€ you pout and poke the chicken with your fork.

โ€œno, way,โ€ jack says with a serious face and you know youโ€™re not getting this idea past him.

โ€œnot even derek? you liked derek.โ€

jack just rolls his eyes and tells you to eat. you stuff your cheeks full of the delicious food he prepared for you.

โ€œwhat about william?โ€

โ€œcan you stop with the criminal minds characters?โ€

โ€œwhat do you mean? i certainly meant prince william.โ€

โ€œcertainly,โ€ jack scoffs with disbelief and laughs at your ideas.

โ€ฆ

โ€œwe haven-...โ€

โ€œyes.โ€ you say at the same time as jack. he looks at you with a surprise in his eyes. he didnโ€™t realise you had decided on a name. even if you did, it was definitely without him knowing. he just hoped it was not a criminal minds characterโ€™s name.

โ€œdennisโ€ฆโ€ jackโ€™s eyes widen at your answer.ย 

โ€œi hope youโ€™re kidding. iโ€™m not gonna name my child after-...โ€ he wants to protest, but you interrupt him, looking him straight in the eyes, deadly serious.

โ€œdennis michael abbot.โ€ย 

and there it is again. jackโ€™s face soften. he sighs and then nods. โ€œdennis michael abbot it is.โ€

789 notes View Post
m14mags
1 month ago

The Crimson Glow: Chapter 1

The Crimson Glow: Chapter 1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MDNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You had long given up on meeting your soulmates. At 33, you felt like you'd miss the window. Pathetic off white pink strings, that had only darkened twice, were your only claim to them. That was until you started your across-state journey from Philly to P-burgh. Feeling brash after a recent breakup you threw caution to the wind and applied for a job across your home state. To your surprise, you were hired. With the encouragement of your close friends and brother, you committed to the new experience. For once, you were excited for adventure, that was until your strings began to darken.

CW: none? I guess cursing? If you see something please let me know ๐Ÿ’›

A/N: While this chapter does not include smut there will be some in future chapters; it's a slow burn. Smut chapters will be labeled

Taglist: @nocturnalrorobin (also the requester of this prompt ^-^)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It would be an understatement to say that youโ€™ve grown pessimistic when it comes to your soulmates. I mean fuck you were in your early thirties and your soul link of red strings had only changed from a pale pink twice in your life before going back to the default light pink. Yes, strings plural. You were part of the 2% of Americans who are estimated to have more than one soulmate. Despite this occurring in 1 in 50 people, your parents were from a generation where those who had more than one soulmate were ostracized. In turn, they had trained you since you were able to talk to only refer to one string. It had been ingrained in you to the extent that even now, as an adult, you had only told less than five people outside of your family about having two soulmates. Two of which were close friends, and the other two were past long-term relationships. Fuck what you wouldnโ€™t give for a quote of your first words, or a countdown timer. Anything other than this off-white string that had been hanging over your head since childhood.

You knew that you could only be mad at fate to a certain extent. You had chosen to be career driven and bet on sure things rather than chasing after strings that had been stagnant for almost your whole life. In a way, you wish you could be as carefree as your twin brother. Benjamin, ever the romantic, took what was supposed to be a gap year from undergrad to grad school to find his mate. He headed east to Europe and backpacked across the entire continent before finding his soulmate, now husband, in Sicily. He ended up settling in London with his soulmate, Dante, eleven years ago and never looked back. Your parentsโ€™ reaction to his โ€œlifestyle choicesโ€ was the final nail in the coffin before you both went no contact. You were the only thing left trying him to the US. You visited him at least once a year and talked regularly. You always wished you could be as carefree as he was. Despite your own situation, you were beyond happy for your brother. If not a bit envious, which led you to now, you pulled off at a rest station off of Route 76 on the verge of a panic attack.

You had just passed Harrisburg, two hours into your journey west from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh. For the first time ever both your strings were red, overlapped and darkening as you got closer to Pittsburgh. You didnโ€™t know what to do or how to process this new information. Your strings had been overlapped for about two years now, and you had dealt with and accepted the fact that your soulmates had most likely found each other.ย  No, it was the darkening that threw you for a loop. This had only happened twice, the first time the string had gone from off-white to red only to turn back light pink within a few hours. That same string, pointing east across the Atlantic, had briefly turned black to grey back to light pink. Youโ€™d never forget that day one of your soulmates had almost died. Your sting had gone black for a minute and 57 seconds.

You shook your head, dismissing that thought; you were already stressed as it was.

You donโ€™t know how Benji and your friend, a Pittsburgh native, had convinced you to take life by the reins and be impulsive. Between your recent breakup and a job opportunity across the state, you had made the improbable choice. You quit your job and got an apartment on the other side of the state. You regret it now, dread building in your gut. You werenโ€™t spontaneous, no, you were practical and thorough. You didnโ€™t take these kinds of risks.

Fuck, you felt like you were going to throw up. You quickly exited your maps app. Your thumb was over your brotherโ€™s contact info when your call screen suddenly took over displaying an incoming call from him. You picked up before the first ring had ended.

โ€œYouโ€™re okay,โ€ Benโ€™s voice rang out before you even had the chance to greet him. The wails of your nephew faint in the background.

โ€œI-โ€ You started, voice shaky, you paused before taking a breath.

โ€œItโ€™s okay,โ€ he said once again, voice level.

โ€œTheyโ€™re red Ben, like properly red, like the ones in the movies.โ€ You responded, you somehow managed to get the words out evenly, before taking another deep breath.

โ€œSis, thatโ€™s a good thing,โ€ he responded, smile clear in his voice.

โ€œNo, I donโ€™t know what to do,โ€ you sighed, pressing your forehead flush with the top of the steering wheel, โ€œI always know what to do Ben.โ€

โ€œItโ€™s okay to not know whatโ€™s to come, most people donโ€™t know whatโ€™s going to happen before they meet their soulmate. You just have to lean on fate for a bit before going back to being a know-it-all,โ€ he joked, hoping to lighten your mood.

โ€œOkay,โ€ you sighed, breathing going back to normal. โ€œBut what if Iโ€™m not what theyโ€™re expecting?โ€

โ€œThen theyโ€™ll be pleasantly surprised,โ€ He responded,

โ€œWhat if itโ€™s a bad time? Or if I meet them before making it to Pittsburgh?โ€ You ask.

โ€œThereโ€™s no perfect time to meet your mates, and if you meet them before Pittsburgh, youโ€™ll figure it out. Like you always do.โ€ He said comfortingly,

โ€œWhat if-what if they donโ€™t want me?โ€ you said, finally voicing your deepest concern.

โ€œSis,โ€ he replied softly, his voice just loud enough to register on his phoneโ€™s mic.

โ€œIโ€™m just-Fuck, Iโ€™m a mess, I start at my new job in less than two days, my apartment isnโ€™t set up, and I definitely needed to do a everything shower this morning, but gaslighted myself into not washing my hair.โ€ You sighed, โ€œJust,โ€ you breathed, โ€œWhat if Iโ€™m not good enough?โ€ Your voice wavered.

โ€œHey, watch your tone, I know youโ€™re not bad mouthing my sister. Not the one that put herself through college, a masterโ€™s program, and a licensing process to become an art therapist. Not the woman who devotes everything to her patients within boundaries. Not the one who worked pro bono at a grief summer camp because of a staffing shortage. Or on top of everything is an amazing artist. Cuz sheโ€™s an empathetic badass, who is way too smart to say any of that shit.โ€ Ben responded.

โ€œBen,โ€ you said, sniffled, eyes watering.

โ€œYouโ€™re going to be okay. They are lucky to be blessed with your presence and happy to meet you. If not, Iโ€™ll fuck them up.โ€

You let out a wet laugh, a single tear escaping each of your eyes as you blinked.

โ€œThanks,โ€ you sniffled, a soft smile on your lips.

โ€œNo problem. What are big brothers for?โ€ he asked, jokingly.

โ€œJust cuz you cut in line does not make you older.โ€ You responded to a lifelong debate with an eyeroll heโ€™d never see, โ€œSorry for falling apart on you.โ€

โ€œSis, Iโ€™m sleep training a five-month-old, who is on what I hope is the tail end of colic. You were a much-needed break.โ€

โ€œTell Atlas his auntie loves him.โ€ You said, taking one last deep breath. The weight gone from your chest.

โ€œI will.โ€ You could hear the softness in his voice shift, Atlas most likely finally calming down for Dante in the other room, โ€œIf you need anything, feel free to call.โ€

โ€œI will, love you,โ€ you reply.

โ€œLove you too,โ€ he responded before you clicked off the call.

You took a deep breath; you plugged your phone back into its charging port and clicked on maps and cued up a hip-hop mix. You shifted from park to drive and merged back onto I-76. You took one last stop two hours in, but it just made you more tired. You white knuckled it until you got to the parking garage adjacent to your building. Your strings continued to darken, color plateaued when you drove into the cityโ€™s limits. They werenโ€™t overlapping anymore. On was pointing up, something youโ€™d never seen before, and the other was pointing off to the right as you face your apartment building. You texted Ben and your friend who lived in the city that you got in safely. You unloaded your backpack and a single suitcase that held all your valuables. For the first time, you found yourself liking the annoying squeaks of its broken wheel. It was something familiar.

After you locked your car, the next half hour was a blur. You signed the final paperwork at the office and got your keys. You boarded the elevator and clicked on the tenth floor.

Your breath caught in your throat as the red string that was pointing upward started to move laterally down, while the other started to point down. The above one kept moving downward until it was back to the height of your palm. Was this it? Were you about to meet your soulmate? Despite bitching about not meeting them for the better part of thirty years you felt wildly unprepared. The ding of your floor snapped you out of your daze.

Were they living on the same floor as you?

You shook your head, turning left as the building manager had directed you. You slowly made your way down the hall; your suitcaseโ€™s broken wheel squeaking was the only noise. Your head snapped down as you passed the last apartment on the right before yours. The string was bright crimson, bolder than you had ever seen before. As you walked on, the string went through you, through the wall into that apartment.

You paused. But then there was nothing? Maybe they were asleep? It was four in the afternoon, but you werenโ€™t really one to judge; you always loved a good nap. That or maybe they worked nights? After waiting for a beat, you slowly walked down to your apartment door, keeping an eye on the door as you opened yours.

Maybe this was okay? While you were desperate to meet them, you also had just completed an over five-hour drive, and you felt and youโ€™re sure, looked like hot garbage. You gave yourself no time to take in the apartment before crossing through the sea of reusable boxes to your bedroom. You quickly tossed your backpack on the sheetless mattress resting on a built bed frame. You pulled out the lounge wear you packed along with a towel and washcloth from one of the totes before rushing to the bathroom. If you were gonna meet them today you were gonna have clean hair god dammit. You turned on the water as you stripped, your string remaining solitary to the one spot in your neighborโ€™s apartment. You unpacked your toiletries onto the showerโ€™s ledges before jumping in. Your nerves got to you again, loitering in the shower as long as you could justify. After drying off, you did your full extended post-shower routine; eyes never straying far from the solitaire string.

While you tried to start to unpack, you couldnโ€™t help but stare at the string. Should you just go and knock on their door? Before you could scheme any further, your stomach grumbled. It was already five and you hadnโ€™t eaten since the last rest stop. Maybe going to grab something to eat wasnโ€™t the worst idea ever. Itโ€™d get you out of your current impasse of staring at a wall. You picked a well-rated Thai restaurant around the corner, ordering way too much for a single person. The entire trip lasted about a half-hour, but it was a nice break. You got some fresh air and were able to stretch your legs as you took in the neighborhood. When you got back to the lobby, your other string started to darken quickly, like it was speeding towards you. You debated waiting for it or going back upstairs so that you could all be together. You opted for the latter and retreated back to your apartment. The string on your floor remained still, only starting to move as you closed your door.

Your heart began to hammer in your chest as you placed the food down on your kitchen counter. You were about to check in with Ben before a loud knock sounded off. Hesitantly, you approached the door, strings bright red, almost glowing. They formed a โ€œVโ€ shape as you wrapped your hand around the door.

This was it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read! I am in the last month of my semester, so I don't have an update schedule as of now. Will hopefully be more consistent after mid-May. Hope you're doing well whenever you are ๐Ÿ’›

226 notes View Post
m14mags
2 months ago

Tales of a Free Use Old Lady Masterlist

Tales Of A Free Use Old Lady Masterlist

Summary: A tale of how an Outlaw Biker finally found and felt love with a woman who had never felt truly wanted and needed.

As always my stories are 18+. This particular series has darker themes so adding Dead Dove Do Not Eat. The Rules chapter gives you a idea of what all you might find in this series!

You can find the tag list here or let me know if you wish to be tagged!

1) The Rules :Read this to get an idea of content!

2) The Beginning -A jealous Tig makes his move in an unorthodox manner.

3) Next -Tig sends back Half-Sack to finally get his turn. While he is gone he announces his engagement to Juice and Chibs.

4)

113 notes View Post
m14mags
1 year ago

SHELBY SISTER/FAMILY FIC RECOMMENDATIONS!

these stories donโ€™t have a pairing, they are just platonically with the Shelby sister fics. so donโ€™t forget to give them likes and comments of all your praise because the author DESERVES it!

SHELBY SISTER/FAMILY FIC RECOMMENDATIONS!

Nelly Shelby โžต @lovelyalways

whoโ€™s watching โžต @zodiyack

annaโ€™s secret โžต @moral-turpitudes

bragging rights โžต @nineteenninety-six

summary โžต Shelby sister would learn to say John's name first because is the easiest to pronounce and he would brag about it until his last day.

smoke โžต @theshelbyclan

summary โžต The youngest Shelby sister is grieving the loss of her brother John and sheโ€™s spiralling out of control in the process, but canโ€™t talk about any of itย (a lot of angst and drama)

mine โžต @theshelbyclan

summary โžต When she took a job at the night club, all the second Shelby sister wanted was to be in control of her own life. Unfortunately, her brothers donโ€™t approve.

cursed โžต @theshelbyclan

summary โžต After Graceโ€™s death, Tommy is still mourning his wife. And when he sees his baby sister wearing her old things, before he can stop himself, he snaps.

the black hand โžต @theshelbyclan

summary โžต After I lost my twin brother, John, a part of me died as well and I could never go back to how we Shelbyโ€™s were before

royalty โžต @randomoutsiders

summary โžต one where the boys are sick of treating you like youโ€™re royalty.

no one left โžต @toms-cherry-trees

summary โžต Even when the world is black and the ground threatens to crack underneath his feet, Tommy always has someone to count with, has he?

funeral โžต @zablife

summary โžต After Tommy returns home from the war, he finds his youngest sister changed, the stress of the war years wearing on her. When he recognizes the symptoms of her loneliness and depression he tries to assure her everything will be alright.

the one you never knew โžต @toms-cherry-trees

summary โžต Thomas Shelby never looked to those beneath him. Not even his youngest sister, the one he never got round to. And time has come for payback

innocence taken ii โžต @unknowntoyou2205

summary โžต Thomas Shelby has been the sole carer for his baby sister since he returned from the war, meaning that he has always been overly protective of her. At age 16, she tries to be more independent without the help of her brothers but when she gets attacked one night, she ends up pregnant and when her brother finds out, he doesn't realize that it wasn't by choice, and regrets it when Polly tells him the bad news.

when was the last time you ate? โžต @ukrainianmotherfucker

summary โžต She just wanted to be noteced. And Thomas did.

portrait โžต @geekwritersworld

summary โžต The most dangerous family in Birmingham seems to be unfazed by everything thrown at them, except the loss of their youngest Shelby.

little artist โžต @geekwritersworld

summary โžต Hello, I could ask one in which the younger sister of the Shelbys, maybe she is 14/15 years old wants to be an artist and she has a lot of talent but the family does not know but the art teacher one day calls the Shelbys at school to talk about her sister and they discover her talent and that she received a letter from a private school in London to study on full scholarship. Thank you for your time

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m14mags - This Is My Escape From Real Life
m14mags
This Is My Escape From Real Life

22!! No Minors please!!

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