Me When I Shift

"If I had to get a tattoo to represent you, it would be a paper plane. The one good memory I have of you is teaching me how to make paper planes when I was ten. But like a paper plane you soared away again and again."

"I'm tired, not physically. I'm tired of hate human beings have for anyone who doesn't fit society norms. Why the hate for someone unique and beautiful? Their humans just like you. "

So I've started to stop worshipping my deities. I don't have an alter for them anymore. I got scared a few months ago because Queen Persephone's rose incense offering almost burnt my room down. Then afterwards, I just stopped, and then I doubted my faith and went to Catholicism. Now, I am taking a break from all religious things and religions in general. I believe that all deities and religions are real but happened in history at different times, but I haven't figured out what to do with that and how to go about it. Especially when it's rarely on my mind. So yeah, that's my update.

You can find Aphrodite when you gush over romcoms. You can find Zeus when the rain pours and soaks your hair. You can find Hera when you're loyal to your friends and partners. You can find Ares when you argue with your parents over the causes you believe in. You can find Apollo when the sun caresses your cheek.

The gods are everywhere—you just need to know where to look.

okay but saying "i wish i had known you sooner" — like the love in my heart is growing so big and fast for you that i wish i had the opportunity to have you way earlier by my side, because i want to love you longer than i can do now. my love for you reaches my past and makes a place for you.

If you are LGBTQ+, Dionysos is your God!

If you are a POC, Dionysos is your God!

If you are an immigrant or foreigner, Dionysos is your God!

If you are a woman, Dionysos is your God!

If you are oppressed or downtrodden, Dionysos is your God!

With a touch of His finger, chains fall away!

With the tremor of His cry, the houses of the tyrants crumble!

We have no king but Bakkhos!

EVERYONE!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FIVE YEARS TRYING TO SHIFT, I FINALLY HEARD A NOISE FROM MY DESIRED REALITY WHEN I WAS TRYING TO SHIFT LAST NIGHT!!! I KNOW I DID BECAUSE IT SOUNDED TO CLOSE AND NOTHING IN MY ROOM OR AROUND ME CAN MAKE THAT NOISE!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!

"The feeling of drowning is commonly known as a painful experience. But for those who are surrounded by the feeling of drowning, when they actually drown, it feels peaceful and calming. They feel free and wish to stay longer when they're pulled out."

*joker voice* a gender is friends with the same gender, and no one bats an eye. but when i am friends with a different gender...

SOCIETY. SOCIETY CALLS IT DATING.

So Loki's original candle that I had for him was very small (as it has melted obviously) and I felt bad seeing it two days ago? So I told him I would get him a new candle, I did, and his flame on the candle was incredibly small. It was barely there, so I was freaking out. I was asking him if he was okay, if he had a bad day. (Loki and Hekate don't really do any communication with me it's more if I feel drawn to something or a yes/no, which pops up in my head). I did a drawing of him and wrote a small prayer on that drawing for him, hoping he'll like it and his flame would go up. It didn't for the record.

Then I put the original candle back, deciding he might want it back, and his flame was still small. After some time later I told him that if he's had a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be better for him and that if I had offended/hurt/upset/insulted him without realising I do apologise as that is never my intention.

I thought 'Loki if you forgive me, please give me a sign,' but then I realised he doesn't HAVE to forgive me if it was my fault. He could have just had a bad day for all I know. But he doesn't have to forgive me. He can just accept what happened and move on, and that's okay. One of the first things I have told him was 'I'm not going to force you to do anything', and I'm still going by that.