Ok One More Deleted Shitpost Lol New Stuff Is In The Pipeline

Tell us more about Moby Dick!! :D

Ishmael is a fascinating little specimen let me tell you. He has a reputation for being a “boring narrator” but that’s complete bullshit. Right out the gate he’s like “hello this is my (fake) name, I’m poor, I’m depressed, but luckily when I can tell I’m about to kill myself I hop my ass on a boat because the water can cure whatever’s wrong with you, also we are all being controlled by the puppet strings of the divine and free will is an illusion. It is now Page Three.”

The entire first part of the book is his story of meeting, falling in love with, and marrying a hot tattooed Polynesian man in what may be the first recorded case of the “there was only one bed” trope and it only gets wilder from there. This really caught be off guard tbh, I had no idea that there was so much gay stuff in this book.

I honestly cannot even pick my favorite Ishmael moment. Could it be him being adamantly on the wrong side of the “are whales fish or mammals” debate? That he suggests narwhal’s horns would be good for turning the pages of small books? When he hides behind the mast and eats some spermaceti because he just has to know what it tastes like? When he tattooed himself with measurements of a beached whale but rounded all the numbers because he also needed room for the poem he was writing on his arm? The gay sperm squeezing chapter? When he made his drunk listeners fetch him a priest and a Bible so he could swear he was telling the truth? And then lied????

Ishmael’s musings range from beautiful, lyrical prose that makes you stop and reread the section because damn, and chapters about How Rope Works and encyclopedic writing about the whaling industry. There are lofty theological debates and accusations about the reader being a fish. You spend much of this book wildly seasick because Ishmael’s voice is manic, hilarious, and disorienting. Once you’ve finished this story, you, too, will feel like you’ve spent three years aboard a whaling ship.

Although the unhinged tangents are often amusing, many people complain because they probably account for 90% of the book with only the remaining 10% devoted to the plot. Surely if we just got rid of Ishmael’s Nonsense it would be better, correct? No. This is Ishmael’s memoir. He knows how it ends. These plot-delaying anecdotes are purposeful; he does not want to reach the end because it is The End. The death of his friends and his husband. The inevitable, unforgiving blade of fate that slices the lives of of the Pequod’s crew short and leaves him alone and adrift at sea. Enjoy his journey, because it may seem long now but it ends all too soon.

I will miss you if they finally realize about you, Tumblr the website and app Twitter account. You shined bright, you magnificent being.

I hope that someone, somewhere, voluntarily and unironically ends up spending New Year’s Eve reading the new chapter of my GRINCH x TONY THE TIGER Fanfic.

It has been read by a nun, blessed by a priest, and received rave reviews up to and including my personal favorite: “the best fic i’ve ever read in bible class“

…wait does the priest thing mean my cursed fic has technically been exorcized

Once again our paths converge. Welcome to this humble emporium of wares, named after one such commander of runes, dubbed the "dollar general." I stand as thy guide amidst these mundane treasures. I ask thee, what purpose bringeth thee to this realm of commerce today? And should thou be in need of aid, callest upon me with thine inquiries.

Have you ever played a video game that just made you so fucking angry?

Yeah all of them, every single one, even minecraft. Fuck minecraft.

You are the villain’s right hand man and you are the true power behind their criminal empire. The villain would never have achieved their status as a super villain without you, so when the hero finally arrested the villain, nothing actually changed.

i hope ebony dark’ness dementia raven way, age 33, is enjoying the my chemical romance comeback and live tour,

Played with the endings of Elden Ring and ai-generated arts, and since it combines surprisingly well, here it is. All six endings.

stickers for cosplay carnival 2024. see you all lol

It's extremely funny how all of Regill's companion quests are some sort of trick or surprise (of the secret test of character variety). It's like his brain is forcing him to inject whimsy and gnome pranks into his life but he treats them 100% seriously. Like, if a Golarion gnome arranged a trial, spoke in favor of the defendant, then challenged the defendant to a duel afterwards, it would be seen as whacky anti-Bleaching antics. But Regill plays it totally seriously and it rules.