Latest Posts by keylakinktober - Page 3

Incorrect Quote 32/50

Belphegor: Since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle

Belphegor: I've decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Incorrect Quote 31/50

Asmodeus: I got my license seventy years ago.

Satan: What? Why didn't you say anything?

Asmodeus: I like being chauffeured around.

Asmodeus: It makes me feel important.

I RAN INTO MY DOOR AND NOW MY NOSE IS BLEEDING

Incorrect Quote 30/50

MC: Luke, my god, you've grown!

Luke: Actually, don't tell the others but I'm wearing high heeled sneakers.

MC: You what now-

MC inwardly: Where can I get a pair

Incorrect Quote 29/50

Lucifer: Wait, are you flirting with me?

Diavolo: Have been for the past century, but thanks for noticing.

Incorrect Quote 28/50

Lucifer: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.

Satan, stirring a cup of tea passive aggressively: Oh so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.

Demon who broke into the house of lamentation an hour ago: Two sugars please.

Satan: Coming right up.

Incorrect Quote 27/50

MC: Since when is babysitting Mammon my-

MC: Oh my god, that's exactly my job.

Incorrect Quote 26/50

MC, after midterms: I want to sleep for like 40 hours.

Solomon: Yeah, you know that's a coma right?

MC:...

MC: God, that sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Incorrect Quote 25/50

Asmodeus: Benefits of dating me:

Asmodeus: You will Be dating me. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.

Incorrect Quote 24/50

Mammon: Hey

Solomon: Hello.

Mammon: I can't sleep.

Solomon: I can.

Solomon: Goodnight.

Incorrect Quote 23/50

Lucifer: You were hurt, what do you remember?

MC: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Lucifer: We didn't take an ambulance, Satan drove us.

MC: But I heard a siren.

Satan: That was Mammon.

Mammon: Oi shaddup, I was nervous alright?

Incorrect Quote 22/50

Satan: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Lucifer: Ridiculous, give me one example of this.

Leviathan: Spiders.

Belphegor: Wasps and Hornets.

Satan: Terriers.

Mammon: Luke.

Incorrect Quote 21/50

Beelzebub: There's no 'I' in brothers but there's one in Pizza.

Mammon: So you're not going to share.

Beelzebub: I'm not going to share.

reblog this if your icon could kill a man

[Student Council meeting]

Belphie: Hey sorry I’m late, I overslept.

Lucifer: It’s 4:30pm, what time did you go to sleep?!

Belphie: 2pm

Lucifer:

Lucifer: The meeting started at 1.

Incorrect Quote 20/50

[At Mammon's funeral]

Lucifer: Can we have a moment alone with our dear brother?

Other demons: Yeah of course.

Satan, to mammon: Alright listen fucker, we know you aren't actually dead.

Mammon: *opens eyes* no shit! But how else would I get the witches to leave me alone?

Asmodeus: MC has been crying in their room for the past hour because they think you're dead, you monster.

Incorrect Quote 19/50

MC, unable to sleep: Hey Mammon, what time is it?

Mammon, also staying up while browsing Majolish: I dunno, pass me that kazoo.

Mammon: *plays kazoo*

Satan: MAMMON IT'S 3AM STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING KAZOO-

Mammon: It's 3AM.

Incorrect Quote 11/50

Lucifer: I can't believe we're stuck in this room together.

Diavolo, swallowing the key: Truly unfortunate

Incorrect Quote 17/50

MC: *finds a dog*

Lucifer: We are not keeping that.

Satan: We let you keep Mammon

Incorrect Quotes 18/20

MC: Based on statistical evidence, I think I'm immortal.

Satan: Belphegor literally killed you last month.

MC: Ya but I'm still here am I not?

Mammon: Okay but they've got a point.

Incorrect Quote 10/50

MC: Here you are Lucifer, nice hot cup of coffee.

Lucifer: Oh, it's cold.

MC: Nice cup of coffee.

Lucifer: It's horrible!

MC: Cup of coffee.

Lucifer: I'm not even sure this is coffee.

MC: Cup.

Incorrect Quote 9/50

Satan: Let me see what you have

MC: A knife!

Satan: Okay, have fu-

Lucifer: NO

Incorrect Quote 8/50

Asmodeus: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.

MC: What baby?

Asmodeus: Me

Incorrect Quote 7/50

Mammon: *gets down on one knee*

MC: Oh my god it's finally happening.

Mammon: *ties shoelaces*

MC, tearing up: He finally stopped wearing fucking crocs

Incorrect Quote 6/50

Lucifer: I'm not doing too well.

Lucifer: I have this headache that comes and goes.

Mammon: *walks into the room*

Lucifer: Oh look there it is again.

Incorrect Quotes 5/50

MC: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Satan: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when you double over in pain because you broke your hand and he bends over to ask if you're alright, kiss him.

Belphegor: Stab him.

Mammon: Dump him.

Beelzebub: I can throw you at him?

Leviathan: Kick him in the shin.

Diavolo: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

Incorrect Quotes 4/50

Mammon: Why would you give a knife to my human????

Belphegor: MC felt unsafe.

Mammon: Now I feel unsafe!

Belphegor: I'm sorry

Belphegor:... would you like a knife

Lucifer in the background: Belphegor nO-

Incorrect Quotes 3/50

Mammon: *hears a bang*

Mammon: *throws MC over his shoulder*

Mammon: BEEL GRAB THE SMALL ONES FIRST THEIR TINY LEGS ARE USELESS

Incorrect Quotes 2/50

Mammon: If I as kidnapped, what would you do?

Satan bored and trying to read a book: Nothing.

Lucifer doing paperwork: Wait 5 minutes until they let you go voluntarily.

Incorrect Quotes 1/50

Diavolo: I'm gay.

MC: Water's wet. Beel is hungry. Levi is hot.

Diavolo: What

MC: Sorry, I thought we were listing obvious things.

Leviathan blushing furiously: Did you say I'm hot?