REBLOG IF YOU LOVE LARA AND THINK SHE IS A+++ GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL (bc Guuuurl U Is Deserving Of ALL The

Puppy attack!

Hey here are some small tips and tidbits from a bartender so y'all can write some realistic bartender aus!

believe it or not we drink on the job, it's rude to decline a drink offered to you by a customer

yes. I've gotten drunk on the job. yes it was cause I was bought a number of jagerbombs. no I didn't go home or fuck up.

'kiss the bartender' is a popular dare at small bars and private functions. whether it's on the cheek or on the lips is totally up to you

I have been offered people's number in a variety of ways. sometimes I've been handed a note, other times I've just been handed someone's phone on the 'add a new contact' page. girls are more direct, guys try the subtler approach of flirting until declined

Your average bartender doesn't always know cocktails. Especially if they're not on the menu.

Y'all cocktails are potent. If your character is downing ten long Island iced teas they're going to hospital

we live for tips. You could be the biggest cunt in the world but if tip me a fiver I'll put on a fake af smile and pretend you're a sound guy

speaking of. Young people tend to buy you drinks, older people tend to tip you.

There's a number of bar calls we use. 86 means we're out of stock. 68 means we're back in stock. More relevant for fic writers however: 700 means a hot customer, usually aimed at women but can be used for guys too. eg. 'lady in red. 700'

If someone asks what 700 means when asked. We lie through our teeth. We usually say it means you need serving or you look drunk.

That's all I can think of right now. But if you have any questions send me an ask! I've been a bartender for a while now, so I like to think I know my stuff.

Quietly losing my mind over the fact that Elon Musk has straight up orchestrated a coup of our executive branch and like....I don't even know what, if any, system we have in place to fix this. Like... He's just taken control of the money and locked out the actual appointed officials. What the fuck.

Somewhere between (งಠ_ಠ)ง and  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  every day.

reblog to let him know that you love him

Aphmau: If you took a shot for every bad thing you've done, how drunk would you be?

Aaron: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Travis: Drunk.

Zane: Wasted.

Gene: Dead.

People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I’d pass it on.

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It’s very simple in places. It’s basically the cookbook for people who think, ‘I’m really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can’t think of anything else to cook that won’t exhaust me’. And it’s free!

itch.io

The Sad Bastard Cookbook by tRaum Books

by Rachel A. Rosen and Zilla Novikov || Food you can make so you don't die.