Nick: I've Been Trying And Failing To See The Appeal Of You, Eric.

Alternatively

Jason: ow! son of a bi-

Salim pointing to Zain: Jason! children!

Jason: … isexual. son of a bisexual.

Jason: Fuck you Eric.

Eric:

Merwin: Yeah, Eric, fuck you!

Eric:

Joey: Eric, you suck.

Eric:

Clarisse, looking Eric up and down: You look like you shop at vineyard vines.

Eric, tearing up: That is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Dude, it’s like Rick went through everyone’s solangelo headcannons and went “uhhhh... yeah, I can do that”

Jason: You're wearing makeup.

Salim: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Jason: Looks... okay, I guess.

*later*

Jason, sobbing into Nick's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!

Nick: I know, Jason.

Jason: I'M SO GAY!

Nick: I know, Jason.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

Jason: Do any of us have good relationships with our dads?

Nick: Well-

Eric: I do! I love my dad.

Rachel: You're like a disney adult about specifically that guy.

Eric: My dad's the best :)

Jason: Are you a painting?

Salim: What-?

Jason: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

All of the confused marines: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG HIM OR SOMETHING-

dragon age inquisition is the only story i’ve seen that’s bold enough to ask - what if we attempt the found family trope, but half of your found family are so catholic they’re in line to be the pope and also you start out as pretty much a hostage

Salim: [takes a deep breath] Today is gonna be a good day

Salim: [deep breath] There’s going to be no bullshit

Salim: [opens the door to see Jason standing there]

Jason: My shoes are on the roof again

Salim: [closes the door]

So I played among us until four am last night, and instead of... you know... playing the game? I went on several rants about the meaning of happiness and how it ties to the human psyche.