*Rachel Has Broken Up With Them*

The legend of the minecraft glow squid

*comes up to u & hands u a bottle of water but it looks like this*

Rachel: Why is it that men look so peaceful when they're asleep? Like they aren't actively ruining my life when they're awake?

Salim: Sleep is just death being shy, and no man can hate a woman when he's dead.

Rachel: What the fuck.

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.

Jason: *extremely drunk, starts colouring Salim with a highlighter*

Salim: Erm... What are you doing?

Jason: Highlighting you.

Salim: Yes, I see that... Why?

Jason: Cuz you're important.

Eric: You fight like my ex-wife!

Nick: I'm dating your ex-wife. That's a compliment.

Jason: Eric cannot be topped.

Nick: bet

Jason:

Nick:

Nick: oh you meant in rank

Jason: Be myself? I have a day to win over Zain. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Nick: Couple weeks.

Rachel: Six months.

Eric: Jury’s still out.

Jason: See? “be yourself”, seriously, Nicky? What kind of garbage advice is that?

Jason: Hey, Nick, quick question. How much is 256 multiplied by 24?

Nick: Do I look like a calculator to you?

Jason: 

Joey:

Merwin:

Nick, sighing: 6,144.

When reading fanfic keep in mind that for professional literature: 

Short story: under 7,500

Novelette: between 7,500 and 17,500

Novella: between 17,500 and 40,000

Novel: over 40,000

Fics over 40k are literally a novel written and shared for free.  If you have written a 40k+ fic, you have literally written a novel.

friend referred to Jason as Male Wife Two-One Actual the other day and I still haven't recovered