When You Try To Leave Kudos On A Fic You’re Reading For The First Time But It Says “you’ve Already

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Leo 🌞 Scorpio 🌘. You can imagine the passion, magnetism, and possibly libido with this combination. May have a power hungry side. Intuition and instinct swirl together in a primal way. They can be a lantern in the dark cave or the hellfire at the end of the tunnel. 😯 Can be torn between a desire to trust, share, open up and a desire to shield and hide the self.

Giving Good Kiss in BL

From an acting perspective there’s a good YouTube video on how to kiss and show chemistry on screen plus analysis of some of Hollywood’s most famous kisses. 

But I’m interested in the watcher/critic perspective. So… 

Let’s smooch it out.

For the purposes of this discussion I am only going to talk about mouth kissing, (AKA sexual intent romantic partner kissing). I’m not going to delve into forehead kissing (worship, benediction, sacred love) or cheek kissing (familial, affection, filial love). 

I think a good kiss (from the viewers perspective) comes down to three things: 

emotional resonance (AKA emotional empathy - heart)

physical reactions (AKA sexual resonance - body)

sympathetic execution (AKA intellectual connection - mind)

In other words, the audience needs to feel that the characters  

like each emotionally 

desire each other physically 

are enjoying it (AKA understand each others needs intellectually)

We kinda wrap it all up under the umbrella term “chemistry." 

Some BL pairs only gets one or two of the three right. Sometimes only one half of the couple is good at any of it. Sometimes it’s a miss-match with one actor good at transmitting emotion and the other physical interest. Sometimes this miss-match is intentional because one character is imposing his will in a dominant fashion. in which case the chemistry of the kiss itself is intentionally askew. 

Chemistry involves mental, physical, and emotional comfort levels and transmitting them on screen. 

That’s why the Taiwanese workshopping techniques are so admirable, whatever they do really helps their actors give good all round chemistry. 

Taiwanese BL has its issues but on screen chemistry is NOT one of them. Almost all their pairings are really really good at all three elements. 

Types of Smooches 

So there are also different kinds of kisses: 

THE DEMANDING KISS (seme to uke, most common in BL) 

One character is clearly in charge, so there is a power imbalance (many viewers find the imbalance itself sexy). This is not necessarily an imbalance in desire (although it often is for the first kisses), but in character dominance/submission. Sometimes the kiss is talked about or permission is requested beforehand (DeanPharm in UWMA). 

THE MUTUAL KISS  

Both characters want to kiss at the same time, no one is in charge. Harder to execute as the actors have to telegraph unspoken communication usually with eye contact, mouth glances, and breath matching (Jeff & Gameplay in Ingredients did a great job at this type of kiss). 

A good mutual kiss generally only occurs when characters have a weak seme/uke dynamic and high emotional resonance. It’s awesome in slow burn and friends to lovers romances. Taiwan and Korea are particularly good at this kind of kiss. 

THE SUDDEN KISS 

One boy darts forward or pulls the other boy into a surprise kiss which can result in a range of responses from: 

a willing melt to 

a dead fish response (the first kiss in To My Star) to 

a push away and mouth wipe to 

a punch 

From an acting perspective this is the easiest kiss to execute. Sometimes it’s the seme who surprises the uke, but more often it’s the uke relenting that causes this kind of kiss. Both come strongly from a yaoi traditions. The shirt collar (or tie grab) and drag forward is particularly popular. 

THE LTR KISS (AKA long term relationship kissing) 

In this case kissing in general is clearly something done by the characters on the regular. These kinds of kisses reinforce a love and affection already in place, rather than most of the ones I’ve mentioned which are first/early/establishing kisses. 

Generally speaking, the acting pair has to be really comfortable with each other to make an LTR kiss work, or insanely good actors. It’s rare in BL because sexualized LTRs are rarely represented at all. TayNew are pretty good at this kind of kiss and also SamYu at the end of both seasons of WBL. 

THE DEAD FISH KISS

Annoyed fan short-hand for any kiss where the actors fail at all three aspects of chemistry. Sometimes it is entirely understandable (the actors are minors, there has been no workshopping, etc…) but it’s still no fun to watch. Classic examples are PhunNoh in Love Sick and TeeFuse in Make it Right. (MIR even makes a self referential joke about this in Make It Right on the Beach.) 

This is the kind of kiss where the actors clearly don’t know what to do and/or are uncomfortable with each other, which makes the audience uncomfortable. Usually, they just press firmly closed lips together and the camera pans out and around to the back of the head. Most of the time it’s not intentional. (Which means the actors are transmitting the wrong kind of emotion to the watcher.) Much as I adore Color Rush, it has this kind of kiss. 

Sometimes a dead fish kiss works with the story. The first kisses in To My Star showcase one side of the equation in dead fish mode intentionally. This means that the final kiss, which is very much mutual, has that much more resonance. It was a genius move on Korea’s part. 

THE NON-ROMANTIC EMOTIONAL KISS 

This is when a kiss is used to transmit some other form of emotion, usually the opposite from normal - desperation, loss, despair, sadness. The kiss is neither romantic nor sexual nor sympathetic. It intentionally contrasts the 3 elements that make up good chemistry by activating chemistry in an opposite direction, so that in the moment of the kiss the characters don’t like, desire, or enjoy each. However, the audience needs to feel that they could, or once had, the initial 3 criteria foundation. From an acting perspective this is very difficult to do. The stairwell reunion kiss in Brokeback Mountain is a good example of a non-romantic emotional kiss. 

This kind of kiss is almost never done in BL, or if it is, it’s not done well, because it requires an insane amount of trust between the acting pair and skill from the actor portraying aggressor to maintain audience sympathy. (The other kind of kiss that intentionally avoids the 3 core elements of chemistry is the kind that is a violent act of non-consent.) 

The best example of a non-romantic but super emotional kiss is THAT kiss in We Best Love: Fighting Mr. Second and it was (and still is) contentious because the treads the consent line. In my experience of BL so far, only Japan (His is another great example) and Taiwan have ever really used this kiss. 

THE HIGH HEAT KISS 

How to put this? Well, there’s usually tongue involved and it’s mostly emphasizing the physical aspect of a clearly sexual relationship - it’s hella gay. Very few Thai, Vietnamese, or Korean pairs do high heat kissing. Lots of early Chinese pre-censorship did and some of the darker stuff from Japan still does. Only Taiwan consistently puts this kind of kiss into their BL.  

Examples 

Why is BL so obsessed with MewGulf? Well the actors were consistently excellent at all 3 elements of a good kiss and gave high heat kisses. Because of them we genuinely believed that Tharn & Type: 

liked each emotionally

desired each other physically

and enjoyed it (AKA understood each others needs intellectually)

Individually both Mew and Gulf transmitted this to the audience, and together as a couple they also managed to do so. The short hand is… they had great chemistry. (Incidentally, Mew has good chemistry with other partners. He did high heat successfully in What the Duck too.) 

ZeeSaint were pretty good at all of it as well, but they excelled at elements 2 & 3 in particular. 

MaxTul in the later parts of the Together series and in Manner of Death were also excellent allrounders. 

The friends to lovers dynamic is particularly good at moving characters towards all three aspects, because 1 & 3 are already established, only the physical is required to shift the dynamic into a romantic relationship. Personally, I’m a fan of this dynamic pivot occurring because of a one night stand or drunken kiss expressly because it can be that tipping point and it makes the sexual encounter particularly charged (Second Chance and 2 Moons 2 both used this approach).  

Singto and Krist in SOTUS, on the other hand had 1. great emotional resonance but 2. poor physical reactions (especially Krist) and 3. weak execution. Their couple comes off as kind of ace as a result. 

The characters clearly liked each other but equally clearly the actors don’t wanna kiss each other, so when they do on screen they don’t seem to enjoy it, and they can’t seem to stop that from showing to viewers. 

Some pairs can be really good at transmitting elements 1 + 3 (which is emotional affection and intellectual couple connection) but not great at the physical/sexual component. 

This style of approach is becoming more and more common in Thai BL. And is legally mandated by censorship in modern Chinese BL (such as it is). 

The industry term for this kind of heat level is sweet romance. 

Which is to say, the physical aspect of the relationship is deemed less important than the other two (overtly, or simply through lack of representation). 

Watchers find this easy to forgive (and many prefer it) because we are trained to accept sweet romance in most romcoms and/or come from sexually repressed and prudish backgrounds. Or, ya know, are heterosexuals who think the gays kissing is “cute” but really don’t want to think about anything more than a kiss. 

(Yes there’s more going on here, but I’m not unpacking a history of queer cinema for ya, or the repressed machinations of your personal psyche, we’re just talking kisses here.) 

Do I think sweet romance is morally or ethically wrong? 

Nope. Not at all. Color Rush is one of my favorite BLs of all time, it has very poor chemistry and a dead fish kiss. Oxygen is the ultimate sweet romance and I love it even though the lead pair’s chemistry is all over the place. TharnType is one of the highest heat best chemistry BLs in existence and I can’t even begin to count the number is problems I have with it. 

Being critical of something does not mean you must forbid yourself from loving it. That too is a kind of chemistry. Understanding and accepting our own relationship with (and comfort taken from) these narratives is what I’m after. 

* A quick note from the production side. I don’t know how exactly this works in Asian production houses, but kisses can be expensive. Like literally. Often there are contract clauses indicating how many and how intimate they are, and with which other actors. Which is why we see main couples kiss but not side couples. Or the reverse, if side actors are particularly cheap, they might kiss more. 

The Damage Done By Uneven Chemistry 

But there is other stuff going on to with low heat BL, culturally and narratively. 

Diminishing the high heat aspects and the overtly gay physical connection of couple chemistry has tons of inadvertent messaging attached. Not just anti-sex. 

It makes the gay-for-you more obvious (the characters don’t really desire each other, they just love each other so much they’re willing to make an exception to their “natural” inclinations AKA it’s okay because it’s you) *sigh* 

It makes the characters seem less gay over all. Because heaven forfend they be actually gay and want to screw each other. 

When physical relations are required, they are shrouded in an aura of “I just can’t help myself, he’s too cute” desperation, which inevitably leads to drunken dubious or non-consensual situations. (Because if they actually wanted each other in a healthy way = too gay.)

It’s easier on the actors to lean towards bromance over gay. 

It encourages an international audience’s assumption that certain Asian countries are sexually repressed. 

It plays nice with a homophobic audience and censorship.

On a mercenary level, less sexiness = more acceptable time slots, age ratings, distribution, and reach. 

It’s so much the norm in Thai BL, that when high heat good chemistry does show up, audiences freak out and immature minds assume the actors must be in a relationship themselves because it couldn’t possibly be that they’re, ya know, ACTORS who are GOOD AT THEIR JOBS. 

My little queer arse is gonna take a few breaths and calm down now. 

But I do think game shows, interviews, and IRL skinship obsession is juvenile at best and stupidly damaging and hurtful to the talent at worse. It reminds me of those people who yell at actors in supermarkets because they play the baddie on a daytime soap opera. 

You do know how to separate reality and fiction, right? Oh wait, this is the internet. Probably not. 

Imma talk about Lovely Writer for a mo. 

Lovely Writer is consciously trying to correct for a TON of wrongs that sweet romance in BL, uneven chemistry, and Thai BL in general, has wrought over the years. Pretty much all those messages I listed above? Lovely Writer is attempting to rectify: 

Gene is explicitly not gay-for-you. 

It’s making it clear the couple wants to screw each other.

It’s putting consent front and center.

This is tough on both actors, but they are stepping up to the plate as much as possible. 

It’s actively battling ideas around Asians being sexually repressed, and it did this particularly well with the family coming out sequence.

It’s challenging homophobic audiences and censorship.

It’s risking good time slots, broad age ratings, distribution, and reach because of this. 

It’s directly pointing out the damage IRL skinship and fan stalker behavior can do to actors personally and professionally. 

Which is why shipping KaoUp is kinda stomach churning and pretty flipping disgusting. Do not comment, just unfollow if you disagree. I don’t want to hear justification for obsessive objectification; celebrity fetishization; demonized sexualization; public outing; touch shaming; or diminishment of a popular performer’s privacy, agency, or autonomy as a result of their job. 

In conclusion: 

WATCH & SUPPORT LOVELY WRITER!!!!! 

Best Kisses in BL? 

(Main couples only. Kisses only. This is not an assessment of the quality of the drama itself, or whether I personally enjoyed it.)

Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese (Japan) 

HIStory Obsessed (Taiwan)

HIStory 2 Crossing the Line (Taiwan)

HIStory 2 Right or Wrong (Taiwan) 

HIStory 3 Make Our Days Count (Taiwan - both couples)

HIStory 3 Trapped (Taiwan - both couples)

HIStory 4 Close to You (Taiwan - both couples) 

Ingredients (Thai)

Just Friends? (Korea)

Like In The Movies (Pinoy)

Long Time No See (Korea)

Lovely Writer (Thai) 

Manner of Death (Thai)

My Day (Pinoy)

Most Peaceful Place Is You (Vietnam)

Pornographer (Japan)

Second Chance (Thai - both couples) 

TharnType 1 & 2 (Thai)

To My Star (Korea)

Together with Me (Thai)

Until We Meet Again (Thai - all couples) 

Why R U? (Thai - both couples)

We Best Love 1 & 2 (Taiwan)

You Are Ma Boy (Vietnam)

I’m watching a few right now that might make this list in the future. 

Here’s me being silly about this: Chef de Smooching - Recipes for BL Iron Chef Thailand 

So I got called out 🙈

and can u do august 17th too please? 😌

Language Of Birthdays: August 17 - Leo

[You can find the rest of the series here; or check out my masterlist]

The Day Of Explosive Power

Those born on August 17 are powerful and explosive individuals. They have the high voltage of those born on the previous day, with whom they have much in common, but unlike the latter are very taken up with running the show. Their drive to rule has the underpinnings of a well-established earthiness which grounds their dynamic energies. Most August 17 people, men and women, are dominating authoritarians at heart, who do not brook any challenge to their right to rule whether acting as parents, teachers, military people or even friends. Indeed, those born on this day often run into trouble when their controlling nature becomes too hard for others to handle.

Paradoxically, August 17 people can display a very quiet and even solitary temperament and a strong desire to protect their private life. Outside of their work or social involvements they would prefer to be left alone. Though very outgoing at times, perhaps "the life of the parry," they are hardly wanton exhibitionists, preferring not to waste their energies in grand displays. Those born on this day carry a certain refinement and charm with them, but can also be forbidding enough to keep admirers at arms length.

One of the greatest challenges to August 17 people is to control their argumentative side, along with a tendency to be alternately antagonistic or defensive. If allowed free reign, such urges can create serious difficulties for them, not only making enemies but also alienating friends and family. Those who love and understand August 17 people will try to cope with this untamed energy and readily forgive explosive words and actions. But it reaches a point where those born on this day may push the tolerance of others too far.

Psychologically, many August 17 people exhibit such behaviour because of hidden insecurities and repressed inferiority feelings carried over from childhood. Typically, they have experienced serious problems with one of their parents (often of the same sex) whom they alternately hated and adored. In addition, they may not have taken the pains to really know themselves, and thus when encountering misfortune may brood or grow frustrated rather than learn from experience. Perhaps psychological counselling can help those born on this day to understand themselves better.

Because of their deep natures and their sophisticated thought patterns, these versatile people have a great deal to offer in many areas if they can get a handle on their energies. Though August 17 people very rarely act with malicious intent, they can be driven by forces beyond their control, forces often kept bottled up inside. Various forms of mental discipline can help them manage these "hurricane" energies, i.e. learning to monitor early warning signs and calm the winds before a storm develops.

Strengths:

Versatile

Forceful

Earthy

Weaknesses:

Tempestuous

Antagonistic

Aloof

Advice

The greatest health danger for August 17 people is illness brought on by suppressed aggression. If those born on this day allow problems to eat away at them and express such worries only in fits of temper, they will be at risk for ulcerative stomach and intestinal conditions, hypertension and malignancies of all kinds. Encouraging their social nature, working and liv- ing in an energetic, free-flowing fashion will do wonders for their health. All endeavors which open them up to the world are recommended—group exercise, meals and social activities of all sons. All forms of depression (which is often anger driven inside) should be attended to as quickly as possible.

Moderate your intensity when appropriate

Use downtime to examine your motivations; get to know yourself better

Observe yourself in daily life and learn to recognize the early warning signals of destructive temper

Try to keep things light

I’m so tired of seeing the one dimensional views of Leo’s.

Leo’s are often stuck in their own mind, not necessarily in an egotistical way as it’s mostly portrayed, but in the way where your thoughts are too loud and distracting to focus on the world around you.

Leo’s are extremely loyal to those they care about, and threateningly protective. Go after a Leo and they’ll laugh and scoff, go after their loved one, and prepare to run for your life.

Leo’s are very generous, one of the most generous of the zodiac, and provide just as much warmth as the fixed hearthfire they represent.

In terms of needing attention and praise, Leo’s just need some validation to know that they are on the right path and a good person. We’re much more self-conscious then we let on. One good Earth sign friend that acts as a reassuring anchor is enough to suffice.

Shy Leo’s exist, we ARE here, and honestly probably project more of a resting bitch facade than the charismatic and stereotypical Leo, but we’re every bit as sunny and warm, as long as you try to communicate with them openly.

Never, in my life, have I met a dishonest Leo. My father and I, both stubborn-ass lions, can’t lie worth shit, and neither can my Leo grandparents. We’re open and honest to a fault, y’all.

......and lastly, STOP JUDGING PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR SIGNS.

‼️Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸

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Donation link 🇵🇸👇

https://gofund.me/94b9dfe0

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-fidaa-and-her-children?

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I am Fidaa from Gaza. I am 29 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to preserve hi… Abby Stagner needs your support for Help Fida