sometimes i like to imagine i'm some side character of a random fantasy story, with short white hair and all the courage and cleverness i lack.
it's nice, it only hurts when that fantasy needs to give room to the real deal. but it's better than being always in this reality, constantly afraid.
acho que nunca estive tão mal. São noites sem sono, dias sem energia. As vezes eu queria só sumir, assim ninguém precisava a desgraça acontecer. Saí de casa pensando que não seria má ideia smplesmente não voltar, porque assim eu não precisava olhar pra esses rostos e ver a decepção, a piedade, a dó. Não precisava sentir.
…ew i caught feelings again
We wear clothes, speak, and create civilizations, and believe we are more than wolves. But inside us there is a world we cannont pronounce and that is who we are.
(Anthony Marra, A Contellation of Vital Phenomena)
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Paris, Texas