Superman, Trying To Befriend Batman: If Not Friend, Why Friend Shaped?

Justice League Origin-Swap AU

Roleswap AU, where their powers are the same, but it’s their origin stories that get swapped.

Clark Kent really should have known better than to break into a sketchy biochemistry lab during a thunderstorm, especially with the amount of flagrant OSHA violations.

On war-torn Arcera, Clan Allehnz hires a smuggler to take their youngest chicks to safety, days before the final nuclear exchange.

Sister Diana of the Order of Themyscira is chosen to take on the mantle of a fallen Lady of Justice, and with it, the duty to spread truth and justice to the galaxy.

Hal Jordan, crown prince of the lost city of Oa, falls through the Veil protecting them from outsiders after a dare gone wrong.

Bruce Wayne only discovers that he’s the heir to the Night Court, largest of Gotham’s Fae Courts, after his parents are assassinated by a rival for the Shadowed Throne.

Arthur Curry, only son of a wealthy shipping magnate, uses his inherited wealth, relics and magic to stop evildoers by night and protect the sea and its inhabitants by day.

If they were transformers what vehicle would they be

Dick: a clown car

Jason: a freight train

Tim: the Batmobile he embezzled

Damian: a horse-drawn carriage

Duke: a Mars rover

Cullen: a go-kart

Stephanie: a speedboat

Cassandra: a UFO

Barbara: a submarine

Harper: an 18-wheeler

Carrie: an ice cream truck

Kate: a bulldozer

Helena: a helicopter

Luke: a fighter jet

Bette: an ATV

Alfred: a coach bus

Selina: a limousine

Bruce: a suburban dad van

BONUS – the Joker: a Tesla cybertruck

i'm so deep into the brainrot so are they

dadwave

Someone make a reblog with Damian doing it NOW

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

Damian no

Jason: my traumas, my jokes

Ngl I can see this

Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what

Ooh fancy pants rich McGee over here ✨

I have to reblog this, too funny to not

Did you know …? It is believed that turtles communicate by feeling the vibrations/sounds (depending of the species) near them to identify eachother or any possible threat? This also works with mates . And as so , this means the guys can feel/hear the ‘possible mate’ vibrations/sounds.

Thats why the awkward moment of silence IMPLIES THAT THEY KNOW THAT FREAKING SEA MONSTER WANTED TO FCK WITH THEIR GIANT TURTLE.

totally irrelevant , just wanted to point that out .