When Jiujiu Refused To Take You With Him On A Night Hunt. So Cruel And Unfair! Jail For Jiujiu For One

Wei Wuxian: So I've tried every talisman, array, curse, whatever, that I can think of, and I do think it's actually impossible for me to get pregnant.

Shen Qingqiu: Oh. That's something you want to do. Well in my world it's been theorized that impregnating a man would not be beyond the powers of a demon lord, but I haven't allowed Binghe to try and figure out if it's true. Ha! With all the ridiculous shit Airplane added to my world I wouldn't be surprised if we have a plant or spell or something that can let a man get pregnant.

Wei Wuxian: ...what.

Xie Lian: My world has a pill that a man can take to let him get pregnant.

Wei Wuxian: you're telling me that both of your worlds have male pregnancy aids?

Shen Qingqiu: hey, I only said that I wouldn't be surprised if it did...

Xie Lian: Actually I could probably change genders to get pregnant too. Or I could impregnate San Lang. I guess there are a few different options.

Wei Wuxian: ....

Wei Wuxian tapping the glass of his enclosure: I want to talk to the person in charge here. MXTX I need a word.

yearning <3

the only acceptable amount of distance is no distance, obviously

Why do so many fanfics have wangxian act so shameless around each other in public and around the kids? Fanfics tend to portray them acting so shamelessly until everyone around them either knows what they're doing in the bedroom or are really tired of them acting like this in public. Is this how they really act in the novel?

I think this may be due to fandom running with this particular scene:

After entering the tavern, they took a seat in an inconspicuous corner, and the waiter came over to greet them. He saw the sword at Lan Wangji’s waist, then the flute at Wei Wuxian’s. Because of their appearance and bearing, he couldn’t help but connect them to the pair who had been the subject of all the most heated talk recently. But after staring at them intently for a while, he noticed that the customer dressed in white was not wearing the Lan Clan’s forehead ribbon. Ultimately, he was left unsure of their identities.

Wei Wuxian asked for liquor while Lan Wangji ordered a few dishes. With one hand propping up his cheek and the other toying with a snow-white forehead ribbon under the table, Wei Wuxian listened to his deep voice as he read off the dishes. A wide grin was plastered on his face.

Once the waiter was gone, he commented, “So many spicy dishes. Can you eat them?”

Lan Wangji picked up the teacup on the table and took a sip. “Sit properly,” he said evenly.

“There’s no tea in there,” Wei Wuxian pointed out.

Lan Wangji filled the cup, then raised it to his lips again. After a while, he repeated,

“…Sit properly.”

"Am I not? It’s not like I’m propping my feet up on the table like I used to,” Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji could no longer bear it. “Even so, do not put them elsewhere.”

Wei Wuxian was confused. “Where did I put them?”

“…”

"Lan-er-gongzi has so many demands. Why don’t you teach me how to sit properly?”

Lan Wangji put down the teacup and cast him a look. He was about to rise in a whirl of sleeves in order to teach him a very proper lesson indeed—but just then, a table at the center of the main hall burst into a chorus of roaring laughter.

Wei Wuxian likes being innocuously dirty towards Lan Wangji. But it's not anywhere near "everyone knows". We also have to remember when it came to xiao-Mianmian she even tells her parents Wei Wuxian was the "bad man" because he was being more openly dirty than Lan Wangji was, despite their little role play being on both ends . Wei Wuxian really likes being seen as the debauched next to Lan Wangji's prim and pretty self in public.

It's why Wei Wuxian jokes about no one being any the wiser that Lan Wangji can be just as much of a pervert and it not seeming to be fair. They fuck with Lan Qiren by purposefully being loud with their bed activity to annoy him and he can't do anything what with them being in their own home and married. And there is Wei Wuxian sitting in Lan Wangji's lap in front of Lan Sizhui (who they are close to so really no need for much proprietary). But the thing here when it comes to them acting as such, is because they are around designated family with those instances.

If they mess around outside of the discerning eye it's not any more radical than any other couple that plays around. There's just a skewed imagining of how couples can and cannot act with it veering into heavy purity politics despite these two acting like any other couple that's not exactly hiding they're a couple. We have the Inn lady in Yunmeng encouraging a one room after they both hesitated about one room or two room question and them HIDING they broke the tub because they had sex.

Fandom likes to think the characters in novel are a lot more discerning of Wangxian's relationship than they actually are. No one in the novel can just tell they have a thing for each other strangers or not. Only ones that encourage them or third wheel are the juniors and Wen Ning. They go on a date night in Yunmeng and it's not something necessarily out of the ordinary or remarked on in the extras (or hell even after the siege and it's Jiang Cheng getting his homophobia bit on and acting like they're being purposely disrespectful despite doing nothing out of the ordinary).

So no, it's an overwrought trope this fandom loves.

When someone brings out the novel artwork as 'proof' WWXs og body didn't have scars all over his back from YZYs canonical abuse... You know you're dealing with an idiot.

Yes, the art is pretty and a nice addition. But it's not canon and it hardly depicts it either... We have artwork in the novel that shows WWX in red and black during his youth when he would have been wearing Jiang clan purple. He only starts wearing black post burial mounds escape. So that's incorrect...

We have novel art depicting WWX with glowing red eyes... Also not canonically true either. Nor are his tits ever particularly out, but most give his YLLZ era a plunge neckline so low you might be able to see the hint of his garden path if you look close enough!

If you're using mostly fan generated artwork - who have been clearly influenced by the CQL and donghua or their own personal headcanons and preferences - you're a moron and wasting my time.

“Uh, yeah,” Wei Wuxian said. He felt his back, which was LINED WITH OLD AND NEW WELTS. He couldn’t help but ask the question he’d been dwelling on. “Really, this must be the greatest injustice in all of history. Why am I always the only one getting hit whenever something happens?”

7S translation

Wei WuXian, “Uh-huh, that’s right.” He felt his back, COVERED IN SCARS BOTH OLD AND NEW, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

ExR translation

YZY whipped and abused WWX whenever she was in residence at Lotus Pier. Considering she was apparently barely there and the detailed description of new and old scars (wounds/welts*/injuries - whatever you want to fucking call it!! It's all the same!!!) we see in the extras, she must have harmed him any chance she got while she was back. We see her lashing him (and him alone!) for the most tenuous of "reasons"... The fact it states he was covered in scars both new and old shows historical abuse spanning some time - most likely since he arrived at LP at the age of nine!!!

So don't go pulling that bullshit on me when we're talking about canon FACTS. Especially when people cherry pick the text to conveniently show what they want and omit the stuff that shows they're talking from their ass.

*An English lesson for those struggling with 7S translation choice for the scars on WWXs back...

The term "welts" doesn't JUST mean a swollen bruise like mark on the skin or an itchy raised bump. It's a technical term used for injuries and scars left behind from being whipped or beaten hard and heavily with something. While I'm not a fan of their word choices, this is technically correct in the sense the marks are classified as welts as defined above.

I eat up the headcanon that Wei Wuxian actually knows perfect manners, but purposefully ignores them. Like, Madam Yu didn't want him to be Head Disciple, but when it was clear he was keeping the title, she drilled all the perfect etiquette and proper bows and forms into him until he could do it half asleep. If he was going to be their Head Disciple, she would make sure he would not embarrass them with his manners.

This is still Wei Wuxian, though, so he knows the stuff, but purposefully ignores the knowledge and sometimes goes out of his way to not use it just to be contrary and get under people's skin. Never around Madam Yu, though. Around her, he's picture perfect etiquette because he doesn't want to go through that hellish training again.

Post-canon, when interacting with Lan Qiren(and some other, but mostly LQR), he'll sometimes use his perfect manners to tick them off more. It reminds them that he knows this stuff and is purposefully not using them for the most part, making it just get under their skin more. Some think it would be better is Wei Wuxian was just disrespectful all the time, instead of this.

Wei Wuxian is cracking up inside at it. He's never gonna stop.

Exactly.

To whom it may concern,

Nie Mingjue’s blind spot

That part where Nie Mingjue asks Jin Guangyao something on the lines of ‘are you different than them/ what makes you different’ and then claiming that he himself would never use his privilege for his own benefit is so funny…

Like babe, you are great and have your own trauma to deal with, but you know… you managed to openly attack and injure your sworn brother with zero consequences because you are the privileged legitimate sect-leader, and he is the whoreson grudgingly recognised.

Talk about privilege blindness of the elite… really!!!

Continuing on with my Yunmeng Trio Role Swap Au idea, I'll just write down the major changes to each character. This post will be about our beloved hero-complex Shixiong!

(1) Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian in this AU takes over Jiang Yanli's role as the family mediator, often serving as the middle ground for every family argument while also trying to make sure the family stays together. He remains quiet and reserved, only showing in extremely private moments to his trusted few his true burning personality.

In Canon MDZS! Wei Wuxian after being rescued from the streets is at first timid and shy, before graining confidence in himself due to Jiang Yanli's influence.

However, in this Swap AU! due to Jiang Yanli's stronger core, Madam Yu pours more attention and pressure onto her, causing Jiang Yanli to not have as much time to care for him, and also being more tired herself.

Wei Wuxian seeing Jiang Yanli's state , realises that Madam Yu increases the Jiang Sibling's training whenever he misbehaves or worsens her anger, so in order to taken some burden off of Jiang Yanli Wei Wuxian becomes quiet and more reserved, hiding away his true personality as he slowly resigns himself himself acting as a "Calm and respectful servant's son that obeys the noble family that took him in" despite protests from Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli who try to stop him.

Of course, he shows his true personality when he's alone with the Jiang Siblings, which leads to many who are not disciples at YunmengJiang to wrongly assume that Wei Wuxian is a mature and calm head disciple.

After Jiang Yanli gets an engagement with Jin Zixuan (That Jiang Cheng loudly detests with Wei Wuxian silently agreeing with him), Jiang Fengmian decides to try and broker a closer relationship with the GusuLan.

Since the Lan don't do Arranged Marriages in respect to their Sect's origin, they decide to try and get Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to become friends (after Jiang Cheng loudly protested he would never be friends with someone so boring, at least Wei Wuxian is secretly funny behind his quiet facade!)

Even if this arrangement caused Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian to argue yet again for nights ("What? Is my son so much of an embarrassment you have to use that brat as a replacement!?" "San-niang, that's not what's happening–" "THEN WHAT IS HAPPENING!?"), eventually a meet up between the two was set up.

When the two meet, it's immediately clear that the two's (outward) personalities were near identical, which is the only reason Lan Qiren even allows the two boys to hang out alone while he and Jiang Fengmian discuss other import details.

After the two were left alone to hang out, Wei Wuxian felt only awkwardness as while he usually is quiet, usually Jiang Cheng or the other disciples were the ones talking and bantering, with Wei Wuxian being able to add in his perspective here and there (and be allowed to be himself because he was in the safety of people he trusted)

Lan Wangji was not like that.

Unlike Wei Wuxian who forced himself to stop fiddling with his sleeves and resist the urge to kick the stones that litter the paths of the paths, Lan Wangji merely looked off in the distance, every once in a while stopping to glare at nearby misbehaving disciples who immediately apologised and ran in fear of him.

Wei Wuxian wonders if this is some sort of secret test from the Lans. Perhaps he has to survive the battle of acting like a statue and not to saying a single word.

After an eternity (only 5 minutes) Wei Wuxian sighed loudly, indicating his acceptance of his loss to the quiet Jade boy beside him whose only indication he noticed Wei Wuxian's existence was the short nod when they introduced to each other by their respective elders.

"So Uh... Nice weather?"

"Mhm."

"My name's Wei Ying, courtesy name Wei Wuxian." Wei Wuxian curses at himself thinking that Jiang Fengmian already introduced him earlier.

"Mhm."

"So... do you have a favourite colour?"

"No."

Despite attempts at various topics, but Lan Wangji just seemed to get more and more silent.

Wei Wuxian internally is screaming.

'What the– DID I ACCIDENTALLY OFFEND HIM? I JUST BREATHED!? DAMN IT DID I JUST RUIN UNCLE JIANG'S ATTEMPTS AT A FRIENDSHIP WITH THE LANS!?'

Wei Wuxian eventually gives up as Jiang Fengmian and Lan Qiren finally return, the two engrossed in what appears to be a deep conversation about tea of all things.

As Wei Wuxian bows and he and Jiang Fengmian prepare to make their leave, Wei Wuxian can't help but take another glance at the other boy.

As he stares back, he is only met with a bitter, ice cold gaze.

...

When Wei Wuxian returns back to Lotus Pier, he immediately rants about his entire visit to Jiang Yanli, who is more overprotective of Wei Wuxian and thus only tells him to tell her if he ever feels uncommon with Lan Wangji, and Jiang Cheng, who seemingly only grew more and more annoyed at this 'ungrateful' Lan Brat.

Jiang Cheng was annoyed because Jiang Fengmian said that Wei Wuxian wouldn't be able to attend as many classes with Jiang Cheng as before, now instead having to regularly visit the Lan Clan in order to further better relations. Jiang Cheng very much doesn't enjoy this.

"Why does that Lan Statue get to keep Wei Wuxian all to himself!?" Jiang Cheng complained loudly.

Wei Wuxian sighed, "Jiang Cheng, you can't say that about Lan—"

"I DON'T CARE! AREN'T YOU MY SHIXIONG!? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH THAT PIECE OF STONE—"

"Jiang Cheng, please stop yelling," Jiang Yanli groans, rubbing her head from the pain of hearing his screeching.

Wei Wuxian sighs in relief, "Thank you Shijie. Now can you tell him that he can't say those things about Lan–"

"Oh no. I agree with him."

Wei Wuxian felt his hope for this family die.

Jiang Cheng puffed his chest, seemingly proud seeing even Jiang Yanli agreed with him.

"SEE! EVEN A-JIE AGREES THAT STUPID UGLY STONE FACE–"

"I did not say that."

"–SHOULDN'T GET TO HOG ALL YOUR TIME! HE NOT EVEN FROM HERE AND YET HE INSISTS ON STEALING OUR HEAD DISCIPLE!?"

The door slammed open.

"JIANG CHENG! WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?"

"A-Niang!"

"Madam Yu!"

As Jiang Cheng was promptly pulled by the ear to be scolded by Madam Yu, Wei Wuxian couldn't help but smile happily at being called Shixiong with Jiang Yanli laughing at him too before also being dragged off by Madam Yu.

...

Eventually, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were sent to the GusuLan for the lectures.

While Jiang Cheng was busy preparing himself to present himself as a dignified heir, Wei Wuxian was silently excited to try and improve his friendship with Lan Wangji.

Yes, he had visited the boy a few times over the years, but many of their conversations would just end with Wei Wuxian talking to himself for an uncomfortable amount of time while Lan Wangji would just nod and 'Mhm' occasionally.

It was okay, Wei Wuxian would gladly continue this routine if it meant that the Jiangs and the Lans would maintain good relations, but he would prefer to actually be friends with the second Jade.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.

"I don't know why you keep trying to talk to him... He clearly isn't worth yours, or anyone’s efforts."

Wei Wuxian just sighed.

"Jiang Cheng, please remember you can't say that when we're so close to the Gusu. What if an elder hears you and reports you to Madam Yu?"

Jiang Cheng flinched.

"Yeah yeah, but still," Jiang Cheng said. "Every time you try to talk to him, it makes me feel like punching him. He doesn't even greet you! The audacity!"

Wei Wuxian tried to stop him, but Jiang Cheng continued.

"First he steals you from helping me train! Then he forces you to come ALL the way to the Gusu every week to talk to him!? Who does he think he is!?"

Wei Wuxian shook his head, "Jiang Cheng, it doesn't matter that muc–"

"But it does!" Jiang Cheng yelled back. "You keep letting people walk all over you! Why don't you at least try to defend yourself!?"

"Jiang Cheng, please..." Wei Wuxian placed his hand on Jiang Cheng's shoulder. "It's not that bad. I can take whatever they say. I don't care about what they say about me."

Wei Wuxian tightened his grip on Jiang Cheng's shoulder.

"So please... Let me try and talk to Lan Wangji. I'm sure he doesn't mean anything bad! Maybe he's just shy?"

"Shy? Of you?"

"Jiang Cheng."

"Alright! Alright!" Jiang Cheng relented. "I wont insult him to his face! But that doesn't mean I have to like him!"

Wei Wuxian let out a sigh of relief, taking this as a rare win for himself.

"Good. Oh, and would you look at that? We're at our destination!"

Jiang Cheng turned and saw he was correct. Their ship was drawing near the ports of the Gusu, a quiet, yet large crowd of merchants and villagers doing their business on the docks.

Here's my art for @tgcf-reverse-big-bang ! For this one I've been paired up with two amazing writers and eventually you'll be able to find the links to both fics in the reblogs for this post. I personally can't wait to read them!!