It Is Actually So Difficult To Insult A Guy Like Wei Wuxian Because Even Below-the-belt Insults Make

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Half of the plot of MDZS happened because Yiling Laozu was so HOT that he made a lot of powerful people figure new things about themselves and they got mad about that. 'The Yiling Laozu is evil and shall be stopped!!1!' Like shut up you wanna bang him so bad it makes you actively stupid. Imagine being so sexy you're the whole cultivation world's gay awakening and they can't beat off the gay thoughts so they try to kill you instead

This video is EXACTLY what Lan Qiren fears is going to happen the moment he lets Wei Wuxian back into Cloud Recesses

Xianle Quartet is a top tier polyship not only because of the metric ton of emotional baggage (and the sheer volume of sexual tension and awakening possible between 3 virgins and an effectively celibate fertility god), but also simply because they're all from a country renowned for beauty and pretentiousness, therefore treating impossible beauty standards as the norm.

Xie Lian's canon internal thoughts consist of not infrequently calling people ugly. Can we blame him? He was raised constantly surrounded by and continues to surround himself with devastatingly attractive people. Feng Xin, canonically olive-skinned and handsome, archer's figure. Mu Qing, canonically delicate-appearing and pretty. Hua Cheng, growing up to be tall and savagely beautiful.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng is a literal fashionista, decked out in every possible silver accessory at any given moment, jingling like a Christmas elf and fabulous while doing it. He throws money around on luxury items just because he can, and his taste is impeccable. Mu Qing straight up destroys his own statues if they're ugly, literally described as wearing luxurious robes that he probably made himself because no one could do it better. They're the divas of this operation. They're judging you, hard, and they want you to know it, so you will.

Xie Lian is the equivalent of the naturally beautiful friend who doesn't wash their face with anything but a bar of soap and comes out looking flawless. He needs absolutely zero fashion sense because he could wear a trash bag and people would think it looks high fashion. Feng Xin is the himbo friend who washes with 10-in-1, yet his skin glistens in the sun like an oiled up ancient greek olympian. He does a normal amount of working out and comes out shaped like Captain America. They're simply God's Favorite, so they don't need to try.

Basically, I picture them as the blindingly hot polycule walking around like the Cullens entering their high-school cafeteria. Hair blowing in an invisible wind. Throwing incredible amounts of shade in the communication array.

They're hot. They're judgmental. They're literally the Mean Girls.

Can you imagine the awkwardness that would ensue if LWJ and WWX are playfully sparring and LWJ manages to knock WWX onto his back and pin him down.

So, of course, WWX’s legs automatically open up.

The training ground is silent. People’s faces go red. Everyone avoids eye contact for the next week after that.

Been having thoughts about modern au 15(?) yr old lonely teen Mo Xuanyu who lives alone (and getting by via hush money from local asshole billionare Jin Guangshan) semi-accidentally summoning yllz wei wuxian via demotic ritual

(He didnt really think it would actually work, he was mostly just trying to cope)

one (1) yiling laozu wakes up in Mo Xuanyu’s shitty apartment and decides that if No-One Else Is Going To Parent This Child He Will (He is coping. Will he look at the Horror of waking up in a completely different world from your own with nothing left of your family but old fairytales? No. There Is A Child That Needs Planting!)

Cue the adventures or Wei Wuxian and the wonders of cutting Coupons, learning about facebook and attending Parent-Teacher confrences as Mo Xuanyu’s guardian

Found Family, all that jazz. Give Mo Xuanyu more hugs and Wei Wuxian more children. Throw him in a sea of toddles. (He is one of them. XianXian is three)

Over time mxy gets some actual friends (the juniors) and when they finally go over to mxy’s house wwx is there, casually talking with a ghost (The ghost is teaching wwx about late-stage capitalism. Wei wuxian agrees that a revolution is totally important but that he probably can’t create a talisman that incites systemic change, as that might veer into mind-control territory but that He Can Kill A Billionare)

Headcanon: Mo Xuanyu’s spice tolerance is actually about the same as Wei Wuxian’s (why else would he be able to eat his own food so easily in canon? Spice tolerance builds over time right???) So Wei Wuxian’s cooking doesn’t kill him actually. (They bond about it)

It does murder just about everyone else, though. Jingyi is offended on behalf of his tastebuds.

Eventually wwx meets lwj and the others (wen ning!!!! Baby wen ning!!!! I want to believe that he was able to move on someday because i would cry if he had to be alone as a corpse forever) (mayhaps??? Idk i havent thought that far) but anyway wangxian happens and so Mo Xuanyu gets two insufferable parents who care about him very much <3

The full comic is finally over!!! Thank you for following it ~

quick wangxian inks bc im trying to draw again lol