"Rotating It In My Mind" Started On Tumblr As A COGIATI Joke And Took Off Hard With Everyteenager4free

Kind of hard to believe there was once a time where a legitimate genre of post was "my mom says if this gets 2k notes she'll buy me a doughnut" and everyone would just. go ham

what was i made for?

“ophelia” by john everett millais but it’s barbie and for the sake of this concept let’s pretend that there is in fact water in barbieland

accommodations

knowing something to be true and feeling like something is true should logically be things that always go hand in hand together, but frustratingly enough feelings aren’t things ruled by logic and so this doesn’t always happen. one of these things that I can’t achieve any kind balance between is me knowing that I deserve accommodations and me feeling like I absolutely do not deserve them.

it’s just that when you have been taught your entire life that if you have the ability to do something on your own, you do not deserve any help making it easier to achieve, it becomes very hard to let go of that lesson even when you know it wasn’t factual. it’s too deeply hammered into you that only the helpless deserve help, so if you can do anything without help you’re obviously not helpless and obviously don’t ever deserve help.

but I now know this to be wrong

and as for what I know to be true is that there is no point in suffering.

there is no merit to taking a perilous road to reach a place you could have reached with another path that won’t force you to pay the toll with anguish.

exhausting yourself to the point of not even being able to appreciate the view of the mountain you climbed is pointless. 

pain is not a virtue. 

not only the mythical helpless but everybody deserves and needs help sometimes. you needing help more than the majority needs it isn’t a moral failing. 

always giving everything 101% of your best is not the rent you pay for being alive. 

living is hard enough without disabilities and illnesses, you shouldn’t make it harder on yourself by not grabbing onto infrequent given opportunities (and unjustly infrequent might I add!) to level the playing field.

I feel wholeheartedly that you deserve accommodations for your disabilities and illnesses be they mental or physical or what have you. I'm looking forward to day I feel wholeheartedly that I deserve them to.

but for now knowing is enough.

To myself, raised in an environment that glorified and romanticized restriction and suffering:

There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.

There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.

There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.

There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.

There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.

There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.

You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.

It’s okay to live abundantly. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to indulge. This paralysis of self-punishment, self-restriction, self-loathing is not healthy or good for you.

Video of a kitten at a vet’s office protesting loudly as it’s scooped from the floor. Another kitten turns around the corner and walks up to the camera, also protesting loudly for its friend. From here.

Let’s make a giant F in the chat for those who don’t have polls yet.

If the last digit of the votes is 1, 2, 3 or 4, vote for the first. If it’s 5, vote for the second, if it’s 6, 7, or 8, vote for the third. If it’s 9, the fourth, and if it’s 0, the last. Please reblog to make the biggest F possible 🤗

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self discipline is so hard like. i know the sucker who's in charge...a pushover who hates authority and loves hedonism

Please reblog and add your nationality in the tags along with what you answered! I'm very curious about this; and it's not to shame anybody, so don't be rude!