If There Is A Screen

i go to bars and coffee shops and breweries and libraries and thrift stores all the time by myself and i have a chill banger time i love my own company. so why is the grocery store a warzone. im fighting for my life. barely make it out alive. if someone even looks at me i want to blow them up with my mind

Why do you think Will and Hannibal both went through scarcity but relate so differently to money? (love your blog)

Will grew up poor, but there is no indication that he suffered from literal hunger. More likely, he lived in a state of constant limitation, having enough for basic sustenance and shelter but little beyond that. His poverty was not one of extreme deprivation but of restriction, of never being able to afford more than the essentials. Later in life, however, Will gained financial security through his professional roles...his work as an FBI consultant, his teaching position, and even as an author of a book used in official training. By the time we see him in the show, he is far from poor; in fact, he has amassed significant wealth. Yet his attitude toward money is cautious, even frugal. This is a common trait in those who grow up without financial security. Money is not seen as something to be indulged in but as something to be preserved. The fear of losing it lingers, and so he is unlikely to splurge, preferring comfort over excess, stability over extravagance.

Hannibal’s trajectory, by contrast, is one of dramatic extremes. He was born into wealth, lost it in an incredibly brief yet profoundly traumatic period of scarcity, and then regained it, never to lose it again. The nature of his deprivation was far more intense than Will’s, his suffering was not just financial but existential, marked by starvation, war, and the destruction of his entire world. This kind of scarcity often breeds an obsession with indulgence rather than security. Those who experience such extreme deprivation, especially those who later come into great wealth, frequently develop compulsions toward excess, seeking to consume, possess, and experience everything available to them as a way to compensate for past lack. Hannibal, with his tastes, opulent lifestyle, and relentless pursuit of pleasure, embodies this tendency. He doesn't just enjoy luxury, he devours it, making an art form out of indulgence itself.

This contrast in their financial psychology also mirrors their deeper fears. Hannibal’s greatest fear is the loss of control, but paradoxically, he has a repressed desire to relinquish it. His indulgences, his love of fine dining, extravagant possessions, and excessive refinement, serve as an outlet for this tension, a "safe" way for him to surrender control without ever truly doing so. He allows himself to indulge because he remains the master of his own excess.

Will, on the other hand, fears losing his mind. His life is not built around control in the same way Hannibal’s is, but rather around creating an environment that minimizes risk. He does not need extravagance, he needs stability, predictability, a life free from unnecessary variables. His frugality is not just financial but existential; he seeks security, not pleasure, and constructs his world accordingly. His job then is his way of indulging in risk.

In the end, their differing relationships with wealth reflect the deeper structures of their personalities. Hannibal, ever-consuming, transforming indulgence into control, and Will, always conserving, ensuring he never steps too far into uncertainty.

you ever read a fic that makes you sob your heart out when you should be sleeping because

this one from @cervviidae pried me open and pulled the tears out so skillfully I’m left feeling soft and changed and in complete awe

i guess i can't stop doing this lmaooo

I'm so lonely, I say as I don't try to make friends

The Hand of God

Solo Leveling | ☆☆☆1/2

Hi! I binged seasons one and two of Solo Leveling last night and I have to give kudos to the animation team that carried the entire story. Solo Leveling has been hyped up for me for a long time, especially in a family who watches anime, but I was surprised when the show kind of fell flat. I LOVE an underdog story and I really loved how Sung Jinwoo powered up throughout season one, but after he became stronger it just kind of...becomes a bit boring plot wise.

Still, I can't deny that the show is addicting. I couldn't stop watching because I loved the amazingly animated fight scenes and it's always really entertaining to see the mc beat up bad guys. It just gets to a point where the bad guys are just there to make Jinwoo look good and the other powerful main/side characters are there to just marvel at Jinwoo's power.

I was watching it with my sibling and he says, "This is just aura leveling."

And oh my GOD, it really is just aura leveling. Everyone is fighting each other's auras and Jinwoo becomes edgier and edgier throughout the anime. Sometimes scenes would feel corny because you know that Jinwoo is going to win, but he starts screaming and yelling about how he'll never lose. Really, the fatal flaw with this anime is that we know he's going to win and become even more ridiculously strong, so his epic comebacks end up feeling a little bit over the top.

just had a feeling throughout the show that Solo Leveling was written by someone who wanted to feel really cool

Still, the world building is VERY interesting. I was confused in the beginning of the show because there were people with medieval armor fighting dungeons, but then it cuts to modern city scenes. The explanation of the gates popping up in random parts of the city is so cool, especially when we learn that the world relies on Hunters to keep them safe.

Then, there's the politics surrounding hunting that really fascinate me. Especially, when a character says that S-rank hunters are pretty much above the law. I literally said, "WHAT?!" out loud. It makes sense because hunting is a relatively young business, but it was shocking nonetheless. I could go more into this, but there's just too much to analyze and not enough room.

In the end, Solo Leveling just felt like a lot of mc dick-stroking and aura maxxing with a smidgen of plot.

Hey, this wasn't me trying to yuck your yum though. People prefer shows where the mc is a total badass and I respect that. Personally, I just prefer a more flawed main character who loses and rises back up. I want to feel and believe the desperation of Sung Jinwoo, but when all he does is win, it's hard to cheer him on.

I'm really enjoying what little plot I'm getting though and I can't wait for Jinwoo to solve the mystery of the "System" keeping him alive and the mysterious monsters that glitch and seem to have a past. Who knows, maybe it'll save the show for me and Solo Leveling will get a higher rating!

Anyways, we left off on a cliffhanger, so I'm excited for the next episode to come out! I have a feeling though that Jinwoo is going to save the day...again...and do it relatively easily...and people are going to stare in awe at him and main characters are going to be reduced to damsels in distress...and so on and so on until the show ends...

Hannibal (2013-2015)

2x07 || 2x09

As an alternative to 'sugar, spice, and everything nice'

I present: 'salt, vinegar, and everything sinister'

My minecraft skin is Will Graham o(^▽^)o