I Just Realized Something:

Bentley headcannons: PART 2 BABYYYY

Crowley brought her from new in 1934

this also happened to be the year where driving tests were made mandatory in England

Crowley was so mad that in protest he brought the Bentley and proceeded to drive her at increasingly high speeds around central London

he still hasn't gotten a proper drivers licence to this day (don't tell Aziraphale that though)

Although Crowley has only put petrol in her once, after hearing the saying 'you wouldn't put a soft drink into a car and expect it to run' (this was meant to encourage people to drink more water, though, really, cars can't run on water either...)

Crowley decided to pour 2 whole litres of diet coke into the Bentley and see what happened (he survived for over 5 miles on sheer power of will)

There's always a book in the glove compartment just in case Aziraphale gets bored

currently, it's The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, but before that it used to be Pride and Prejudice (Crowley read the first couple of chapters of that one and pretended to annoyed by it, but a few days later Aziraphale saw him sneaking back into the car to keep reading it)

He fell asleep in the Bentley once, and when he woke up he realized she had shifted his seat back so he wouldn't get a cramped neck from sitting upright all night <3

good omens characters I would trust with my car (if I had one)

Who I would let borrow my car:

Crowley. That demon would take care of my car - I'm talking pristine seats, clean glovebox, the shiniest it's ever been. He would claim that he wasn't doing it to be nice (he's not nice) and complain about how dirty it was before but we all know the truth. All my CD's would probably be mysteriously replaced with Queen (if he has to listen to it all time, so does everybody else.) There would be 17 parking tickets in 5 different languages on the dash. When you get the car back you realise that you gave it to him with a nearly empty tank but for some reason he didn't seem to refill it? And it worked perfectly fine???

Aziraphale. Look we both know when I get it back it'll be bright yellow and probably look like it's off a 60s sitcom but I mean look at his FACE is that the kind of face you could say no to? Yeah, I don't think so. He would be all "pretty please could I borrow your beautiful car" and the keys would be his. I don't blame Crowley for letting him drive the Bentley I would also forfeit all my mortal possessions to this angel.

Anathema. She wouldn't ask she'd just grab my keys and be like "I'll be back at 6:02" and who am I to question it? it would be 6:02 exactly and the car would turn up in my driveway covered in dirt. where did all the dirt come from??? I don't think I want to know. There would be a sticky note on the dashboard with a cryptic prophecy involving an elaborate generation-long ruse and today's wordle answer. would I let her borrow it again? probably.

Who I would not let borrow my car:

Newton Pulsifer. This man would rename my car words that haven't even been invented yet. He would've used my number plate to sign up for a Spanish inquisition fanclub. Heaven forbid that I have a Bluetooth speaker inside (it would turn into a green tooth speaker or something I swear.) The car would end up in a ditch in the neighbour's cornfield. He would offer me toast as an apology.

Sergeant Shadwell. Let's just say he uses the buses for a reason.

Archangel Gabriel. My radio would exclusively play bible stations from now on. The car would glow pure white and float above the ground. He would get pulled over for going 3km on the motorway. His driver's license would say 'human Gabriel who's a completely normal human being. profession: definitely not archangel of heaven. (that'll fool 'em guys) age: human. He would sit and watch the windscreen wipers go back and forward for 5 hours like a cat.

GO for a picnic

As promised, here's the fic I wrote to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Good omens, for the GO for a picnic theme.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65464063/chapters/168492133

Happy reading, and happy anniversary!

omg this is adorable THANK YOU

Hi :D

kinda random ask but: your username is 'stoat on toast'...could you draw a stoat on toast? bonus points if it's cute and bonus bonus points if drawing it makes you happy :)

two sleepy boys

(it did :))

Donna: quick, doctor, you're losing blood

The Doctor, currently bleeding out from several stab wounds: im not losing blood, losing would be implying that I don't know where it is - I know exactly where it is...it's just not in me.

Hear me out: this good omens quote but with the Doctor and the Master...

The Doctor: "You can't leave! There isn't anywhere to go."

The Master: "It's a big universe - even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we can go off together!"

The Doctor: "...Go off together?"

The Doctor: "...Listen to yourself."

The Master: "How long have we been friends? Six thousand years!

The Doctor: "Friends? We're not friends! We are a hero and a villain...we have nothing whatsoever in common - I don't even like you!" The Master: "You do!"

The Doctor: "We're on opposite sides - "

The Master: "We're on our side!"

The Doctor: "There is no our side...not anymore."

you look great in that frog costume

How Aziraphale and Crowley would propose to each other: (part 1)

yall we all know Crowley would freak out about it for ages

he would have every little detail meticulously planned out months in advance like the romantic he really is

Aziraphale totally knew he was going to propose for ages (Crowley literally left the business pamphlet for the engagement photographer on the bookshop table by accident on two separate occasions)

he spent hours arguing with the ringsmith to make sure that the ring was PERFECT

inscribed on it in looping cursive is the phrase "my world"

one spring morning Aziraphale woke up to find a note next to his pillow that just read 'Angel - Berkeley square. 2:00.'

(Crowley had re-written that note over 30 times, attempts ranging from a page long love letter to two words on a piece of otherwise blank paper.)

Aziraphale, of course, made sure to wear his best outfit for the occasion, seeing as Crowley was probably the least-subtle being in the universe when it came to secret proposal planning.

Crowley's speech was hesitant at first, like he half expected to be turned down, but as he began speaking the words he had prepped and scrapped and written over and over again, his confidence grew until he was able to meet Aziraphale's eyes and see the blazing in his Angel's expression.

In the end, he forgot most of what he had planned to say, and just started saying what he felt was right.

Crowley: We've known each other a long time - we're a group, a team. A team of the two of us. And we've spent our entire existence pretending that we're not...apart from these last few years, which have been the best years of my life...Angel? Make me the happiest demon in the world, which, I know, is basically like asking you to make me the fastest sloth, but I -

Aziraphale: Oh Crowley...oh Crowley, Yes.

Crowley: ...Yes?

Azriaphale: Yes.

just reading this hurts

I HAD A DREAM THE GOOD OMENS FINALE CAME OUT AND IT WAS SO BAD AND I HONESTLY WOKE UP IN ACTUAL DISTRESS

FACTS

When you're obsessed with Good Omens, there are 2 stages. There's the Queen stage, and then there's the Hozier stage.

If you don't already know what I'm talking about then you're either about to find out, or you'll never know what I am talking about.