A Sorrowful Source Memory…? [tw]
a sorrowful source memory…? [tw]
i distinctly remember the aftermath of a particularly rough argument.
he accused me of never caring, of planning to leave. the jimmy i knew was quick to emotion, in every sense of the word: he was quick to fall in love as he was quick to anger. as this argument progressed, our voices were raised higher and higher. it got to the point where my own throat was sore, just from trying to be heard over his frantic yelling. once the end of the argument came about, we both took off to different rooms of the apartment we were sharing at the time. the apartment wasn’t anything too special, just somewhere we could crash when we weren’t doing shipments. he ended up in his (our shared) bedroom, and i ended up pacing the kitchen. about an hour later, he sulked out from the bedroom, and came to me in the kitchen. about 30 minutes into the wait, i decided that food could be a good peace offering, so i was cooking. nothing too extreme, just eggs, as we didn’t have much else in the apartment. i could hear him creep up behind me, wrapping his arms around my middle and laying his forehead on the back of my shoulder.
it was those tender moments that reminded me why i stuck around, why i adore/d him, why i was the sole devotee.
More Posts from A-devoted-mutt and Others
Everyone can, but does that mean everyone should? Do I really deserve to know what that feels like? I so desperately want to be loved and cared for, but Im a spineless burden. Spineless burdens dont get to be loved.. Especially not ones so damaged that they arent trusted to be able to keep them selves safe..
-⛓
now, don’t talk like that.
you are not a spineless burden. and you are worthy of love.
i’m sensing that you’ve gone through it. and that’s okay. you will heal. i promise.
I just want to be soft
Why am I so angry, so harsh, so violent, so destroying.
It’s unfair
hmm . thinking ... you'd kinda furrow your eyebrow a bit, yer lips would be pressed into a thin line, your eye would twitch if you were concentrating too hard on trying to look determined.
it's the little things, captain. the ones you gloss over and the ones i catch. now, that quip about you being a grown man? yeah. but what are you to me?
– ✘
i’m your captain, and your friend, of course.
who says i gloss over them? i do my best to catch all the little quirks about all of you. it helps me adapt better to the people i’m around, to help them and take care of them in a more meaningful way.
i can handle being treated like shit over and over again, but i can not handle you leaving me
my head feels like it’s been filled with cotton, and my vision is swimming in the most subtle way. i feel floaty and gentle and pliable and fragile. it’s quite an odd feeling.
tw.
my skin is scrubbed raw and red. my head is pounding and i’m shaking feebly. as i run the water, washing the sink out, watching red and clear mix and swirl down the drain, and as i wipe the spit from my lips, flushing the toilet and watching nothing but bile swirl down it’s own respective drain, i slump agains the wall.
is this really where i’ve gotten myself in life?
i love making pretty tags, im just terrible at using them. i like playing with the pretty symbols hehe. -⛓
as do i! it’s quite fun, deciding what goes with what.
you cant just say stuff like that, ill cry /wet cat -⛓
oh, well. i don’t mean to make you cry !
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