There Is An Ongoing Argument About What Breed Darrel Is That Just Will Not Die. Soul Is Dead-certain

There is an ongoing argument about what breed Darrel is that just will not die. Soul is dead-certain he's a Rhode Island Red. He's a chicken, he's red, what else could he be?

Mind argues that A. there's so many goddamn breeds of red chickens and B. Darrel's feathers aren't nearly dark enough to be a RIR. His tail feathers are white for fuck's sake, he's clearly a Red Ranger. Soul maintains that Darrel is nowhere near heavy enough to be one.

Heart honestly doesn't have much of a genuine opinion on this, it's not like he can really judge what Darrel looks like. He will, however, set the argument off on purpose for fun. For extra chaos, he sometimes "decides" that Darrel is CLEARLY (insert chicken breed here). The breed in question almost never looks anything like Darrel, Heart just picks the longest/most complicated name and/or what sounds most likely to piss off the other two. The "Darrel is a Splash Frizzle Satin Silkie" incident nearly ended in murder and Heart would do it all again if he could.

All three of them are entirely wrong. Darrel is a simple Red Sex Link cross hen. He's a very pretty one; vibrant red with a white tail, white-mottled wings, and white-tipped hackle feathers, but he's not of any specific breed or "designer" crossbreed. Heart, Mind, and Soul are literally never going to figure out the truth.

Headcanon #328